Baby Using Mom's Hair as Soother

I didn't go through and read all the responses so I might be repeating something but maybe you could try a baby-doll??? If you could find a nice one with soft, more realistic hair??? I don't know. My friend's son twirled her hair for years! I think he just eventually grew out of it. When she's 15 years old and screaming at you through her bedroom door, you're gonna miss it!
Hang in there, it goes by so fast!

I had a friend with sisters that used "hair dollies". Just a doll with long hair that they could twist in there fingers. The dolls looked terrible, but it saved there mom. Good luck. I'm not a strict sleep person either.

Hmmm. Funny thing. Just like Sonia C, whose 6-year old still does it, my 4-year old son still does it too. He has used his har and my hair to soothe himself since he was born. I think it's cute. Fortunately, when I get tired of it or need to walk away, I can re-direct his hand to his own hair, and he's fine. Sorry I don't have any alternatives for you, but just wanted you to know this isn't a unique thing.

My daughter used to do this all the time. She would suck her thumb and play with my hair with her other hand. ALL the time. It took awhile, but we eventually figured out that low, sweet lullaby-type music helped relax her back to sleep without my hair. After that, she went to playing with her OWN hair while listening and/or falling asleep, and then eventually stopped entirely. And now she is 14, and NOT a hair-twirler, so...it worked for me! It may take awhile, but I am sure you will find something that soothes her to replace poor mom's head of hair! :)

Mommy hair is almost universally shorter than single gal hair.

This is the secret reason why...

I almost forgot why my hair is so much shorter these days until I read this and it reminded me of my early nursing and cosleeping! Hair pulling.

Now she just points out every mole, whisker and age spot.

Hi Stephanie!

My nephew does this same thing!!!! It almost hurts :o)He began doing this very early on, and now, at the age of 4, will still do it. My mom and I are neighbors and take care of my nephews 2 days every week. There are only a "lucky few" who get the attention of my nephew when he's tired :o) You'll know how special you were to him that day when you're the one "he pulls the hair on" to soothe himself :o) It's usually the armhair or leghair :o) But, it definitley cracks me up. We let him :o) It reminds me of a kitten "making his bed", it hurts so bad but out of love you allow it to happen :o)

It's a security thing, so I'm sure what you want to do about it, I just thought I'd let you know that another little person out there does this :o)

My almost 3 year old son has always been a hair guy too, but when I first let him 'cry it out' he discovered his own hair! He'll take mine if it's there but if not he'll happily stroke his own hair!

I am in the same situation and it is awful! when my son is going to sleep, I just want to let him do it, and after 40 minutes of it I go out of my mind! He is now 3years and 4months old and he STILL does it. It hurts when he twists it around his finger and pulls the roots. I had long hair and in desperation I cut it short. In victorian days they would give lockets of hair... so I had the hairdresser give me a long locket of hair to glue with a ribbon around it, (I regret never did glue it)as a substitute, I don't know if it will work. I do know, that you should try to quell this behaviour now! best of luck, M.

myy baby likes to touch my skin. for me, its best we stay together when we sleep so that more moments are spent together. i think its so sweet she likes to play w your hair. at least she doesnt pull em out. smile.

my baby was born on aug 19!!!!

My 8yr old son did this when he was a baby. I never tried to stop it as I thought it was adorable... lol (I also have a hard head though and it didn't hurt) He would just hold my hair for the most part. But everytime I would feed him he would grab my hair and hold it until he fell asleep and then he was fine. One day he was asleep on the couch and our cat was laying next to him, I noticed that he had ahold of the cats tail and had fallen asleep with it in his hand... I had to get a picture of it, It was the funniest/cutest thing. I'm sorry I don't have any advice and how to stop it, I can tell you that my son grew out of it by the age of 3. Good Luck.

Hi Stephanie,

My 2yo son has always and continues to play with my hair. He even plays with Grandma's hair! I've talked to some friends about this and was assured that he'd grow out of it as their children did. For now I just enjoy it - I think it's really sweet. If you really don't like it, I'd try different material blankies and see which one your child likes (fuzzy, satin, linen, flannel, etc). My 4mo son likes to snuggle with blankies and burp rags and any little piece of cloth (which I now call "snugglies")...not into the hair...Good Luck!

Oh my gosh, this happens to me too! It drives me nuts. My 2 year old still sleeps in our bed and will go to sleep willingly as long as we lie next to him. He seems to fall asleep faster when dad is lying next to him but with me, he twists and twirls and tugs at my hair until he falls asleep. In the morning, when he is slowing starting to wake, his hand searches for my hair and twists/tugs/twirls all over again. I would usually say "Jake stop pulling Mama's hair" and pull away but he starts to cry. I'm going to try the fake hair idea. I'm going to be bald pretty soon if this doesn't stop! (My husband says I'm going to miss it when he gets older. I know I will, its just hard now. Hang in there!).

Each of my 4 kids had a different comfort thing they did while nursing. My now-13-yr-old did the hair thing, especially liking to gently rub it under his nose after he had weaned himself. Sometimes it bugged me and we'd negotiate about it (maybe he was 3 then), but also sometimes it was a useful clue to me that he was feeling overwhelmed or nervous in social situations, since he's never been one to want to talk through emotional processing. In retrospect it was sweet, and often the cuddling was nice, but I know it wasn't every minute!
He did sometimes like other nice feeling things (like my old silky underwear, washed and cut up!)
We also co-slept and found it to be an overall good thing. Definitely more restful than getting up in the middle of the night for a crying baby, and just felt more right to me--though there were downsides too. Now my kids are all big, and still they prefer sleeping near someone(--it's not usually me anymore!). It's nice to have siblings that like each other.

Oh thank goodness....I thought there was no one out there going through what I'm going through. My 1 year old uses hair as a soother. He twirls my hair so much that I had cut it short so maybe he would stop. Nope, didn't happen. It just made him sleep closer to me and breathe in my scalp. He twists my hair so much that he pulls it out. He will go for anyones hair. Keep your daughters close to you, Lol. So I gave him a synthetic wig or hair piece to use instead. Now he carries this ball of hair around everywhere. It's kind of embarrassing. It looks like a matted hairball, rat looking thing now. I don't know what else to do. At least it's gotten him from pulling my hair. He stills go back and forth from using the wig and my hair but, when he tries to grab my hair, I quickly locate the synthetic hair. But, I have to pack this ball of hair to the babysitters and on vacation. Weird.

My daughter did that! When I would rock her she would put my hair between her fingers and twirl the end with her thumb. She latched on to a blanket made of cotton and something synthetic with a soft thick fringe all the way around and she would do the same thing in her fingers with the fringe. She still does it occasionally and she's 5 and you should see "blankie". Maybe that will work for you.

K.

my daughter is turning 5 in September and STILL sooths herself with my hair! She is obsessed with my hair...smelling it and grasping it while she sucks on her thumb! If she gets upset it calms her down, or if she can't sleep, she wants mommy's hair! I try to wash her hair with my shampoo, but she says it's not the same. I just may cut some of my hair off and give it to her! It is really anoying when I am ready to go out and she wants to grab and smell it...OR when I am out with my hair up and she takes out my clip to smell my hair. When she was an infant, it was hard, because she only wanted me. And, it took a long time to sooth her. Now she is soothed in a minute with my hair. I have to say it is very nice that we get a lot of cuddle time! I'm sure this hasn't helped you, but your not alone...or at least I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone! Try washing her cuddle blanket in your shampoo...as my daughter got older we found out that it was the smell of my hair she loves. She will also now sleep on my pillow after I have for several days! Good luck...I will read other advice you get to see if some may help me too!

hey

i have the same problem with my one and half years old baby girl ...any help ??please !!!

HI S.,
My best friend's little girl did the same thing, so what my friend did was buy one of those fake hair pieces at the mall (you know the ones that have different hair colors and some women wear around their hair in a bun). It looks kind of funny, but her little girl always asks for it when she is sleepy. Every couple of months she has to buy a new one though since they start looking like dreadslocks.
Good Luck!
S. A.

In our house we call this twiddeling!!! My 4y/o loves to twiddle my hair, but when he was very young I'd put his hand on his own head, now whenever he gets tired, his had goes directly to the top of his head and twiddles away. It's great we never have to worry he/we forgot his lovey! Encourage your little one to find her own soothing sources. Since you co-slept it's going to be hard for her to not have YOU, it's probably much more than the hair that she wants! Try sleeping in a shirt for a few days (get it smelly) or even with those lovey's you mentioned and wrap it around your baby, or lay it under her head in her crib. Most importantly...it's a phase, and in my great grandmothers words..."This too shall pass"....and I like to add "followed by something else." Good luck!

My son, now 2 years old still uses my hair to soothe himself. He too was very difficult to put to bed and would wake after only an hour. We got desperate and put him in his swing at night when he was 4 months old. I think he slept there until he his feet were hanging over the edge when he was 6 months old. He would never use a blanket or stuffed animal to help soothe himself until he became attached to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Now he a will at least go to bed with his stuffed Mickey, but when he's tired or has hurt himself he goes straight for my hair. I have tried all different lengths and the shorter my hair got the worse because I just ended up with knots in my back from tilting my head so he could reach it while he was nursing as an infant. My son has recently had an OT evaluation for more reasons than the hair thing and was labeled as having a sensory dysfunction in 3 different areas: general, auditory and vestibular. We haven't received the detailed report yet but am certainly curious to find out what it all means.

Dear Stephanie,
I think you'll just have to try to find a substitute snuggy.
I breast fed and co-slept as well. My daughter rubbed her own head. A friend's little boy holds his own ear. My son was so used to the smell of my bed and pillow, that what I did was take off my pillow case and let him have it. He called it his nigh-nigh and it went everywhere with him. (Which was actually alot easier than dragging a blanket everywhere). He still, to this day, has a thing for my pillow. He's 12, and everytime he gets hurt or has a headache, he wants Mommy's "magic". He is convinced it makes him feel better.
My nephew had a "fubby". It was a piece of feaux fur that my sister got somewhere. I think you can purchase it at fabric stores. Just make sure that the edges are well bound and the fur can't be easily pulled out. Again, it was small enough to fit easily in the diaper bag or for him to have in his stroller, etc.
When you hold your daughter, it's likely she will always want to fiddle with your hair. You can try pulling it up and introducing something else that she can "knead" or you can try rubbing it gently on her cheek.
I'm sure you will find something that she likes and identifies with comfort.
Congratualations on your baby!

My brother in law used to do this, pulling her hair through his fingers. It drove my sister crazy, it was a habit that he would not or could not stop. He never got over it. He came from a VERY nustable home, except that his grandparents loved him and more or less raised him. I am not sure if it is an insecurity thing or not, but I have seen it with my own eyes.

My soon to be 7 year old used my hair to go to sleep when she was a baby or whenever she nursed. I remember both loving that she wanted to be so close, and conversely, feeling guilty that I wanted my body back. She would curl it around her little finger and then touch her nose with it. We tried two things to get her to stop. One was that we bought her a Groovy Girl doll (known as "Dolly Moma" - actually we bought two so we could keep them clean) becuase it had curly brown hair similar to mine, that was soft and could be curled around her finger. Second, when her own hair got to be long enough to touch her nose (I remember her first hair cut where I told the woman she had to leave the hair long enough to reach her nose, I started substituting her hair for mine or hold both together until she started realizing that she got enough comfort out of her own hair. I have a picture in mind of her holding the doll with one hand, sucking her thumb, and her and my hair with the other hand touching her nose. Now, of course, she still grabs her own hair to go to sleep, so you reap what your sow! Good luck!

My youngest daughter Esther who is now 11 years old used my hair as a soother on the first day home from the hospital. I even have a picture of this. I thought is was very interesting and was concerned that she might get hair caught in her eyes or mouth. She liked holding my hair, rubbing it in her little hand and putting my hair in her mouth. I decided that if it soothed her I would let her. She was also that last child of four that we were going to have. It did become a problem when we moved her to her own crib but what I did was move the crib next to my bed and would let my hair fall into the crib for her. Maybe you can let your hair grow longer. She needed my hair while breastfeeding, to fall asleep and probably when she was tired. Then when she moved to her own bed if she woke up in the middle of the night she would sleep on the floor next to my bed and I would let my hair fall off the bed for her. For me I decided to do what I could to comfort her because I knew that the day she would grow up. Enjoy them while they are little because they grow up to fast. Spend alot of time talking to your child no matter how young about your hair and everything else as they grow older they have a larger voacabulary and can better understand when it's time to leave your hair and on to another comfort item. If you do not have long hair or her playing with your hair is a big problem you can wash a new soothing item in the hair care products you use to make the switch. Since you are a stay at home mom enjoy it while you can you may end up missing it more than she does one day.
Have a great day,
A.

My son who is 20 months has been playing with my hair since he was a small baby, but he goes one step further and stuffs my hair in his mouth then sticks his pacifier in as well. I don't even bother getting my hair done at a salon anymore because within a few hours is mangled and knotted from him. Now that he is getting stronger he is pulling it hard and pulling it out,its sore ! he just does it when he's tired or drinking his bottle so its a soothing thing for him.. but it also means I can't leave him much because I am his 'everything' ! I'm looking forward to him growing out of this.

Hi Stephanie, one of my twins was a "hair twister". He had discovered an afghan that was older and had "hairs" of fiber from the yarn. When I was unavailable, he found contentment with the afghan.
Something with the fibers yet safe to be near the childs face works well.
Best wishes,
K.

A doll with long hair

When i was a preschool teacher we had a student that did this as well to him mom's hair. she was so fed up by it she bought him fake hair like the last mom said she did. i think it kinda worked. maybe give that a try...put it on your shoulder when you are getting her to fall asleep and then transfer her into bed with it? good luck!

Use his favorite soft blanket around your head after you wash your hair. Then wear it wrapped around your head a few times during the day when your hair smells like you and not shampoo. Put it next to you when he is sleeping with you - like over your pillow or similar. After awhile, there is a good chance that he will be satisfied with the blanket that smells like you, and which he has gotten used to having next to you when he slept with you.

Try a cute little blanket callled "Taggies". They come in different sizes and they are made of a square piece of fleece and on the edges are little tag shaped ribbons of different textures and colors. Some are smooth and satiny, some have pictures and some are bumpy like grosgrain ribbon. My youngest loved her blanket (named didi) and would sleep holding it by her head with the satiny ribbon tag between her fingers. You can find them at baby stores, (the nice gift shop kind, not the giant toy stores) I found our first one a a hospital gift shop and in Hallmark I think! Best of luck!
Oh and wash the blankie with your shampoo so it smells like you!
From C., Mom of 4 beautiful girls 5-12

Stephanie,

I have gone through this same thing with my son. He is now 13 years old and still has a thing for playing with his hair or even mine when he is tired. Since he is so old I try not to allow him to do it to me.

We tried all kinds of things. We did dolls with hair, stuffed animals, live animals (dog and cat). These all helped but he still preferred my hair. The doctor told me is a very common problem. There is even a name for it...trichotilamania (I don't think I spelled that correctly). Sometimes this leads to them pulling out their own hair. It is something that relaxes them.

Your child may grow out of it or not. I am sorry that I could not have more positive help for you. Hang in there.

J.

Wear a scarf on your hair for a few days and then give that to your baby.
When my baby was little, he got a hold of my scarf and it became his comfort item.

i would wash a soothing blanit in your shampo and then every time you are putting her down for a nap or bed put this blankit on your sholder where you are holding her making sure your hair is pulled up or out of the way good luck and i hope this helps

My son still does it - he is 6 yrs old. I actually GIVE him my hair if he is being stubborn about bedtime.

He used his own hair, too.

Encourage your daughter to rub her own hair or find something with a similar texture for her to stroke - maybe a baby doll's hair?

I love it! BUT completely understand the need for self soothing.

Enjoy!