Baby Wise???? - New Carlisle,IN

This book was written by a man posing as a doctor. While some of it may be practical advice, my pediatrician said some of it is downright dangerous. I did buy it and read it many years ago and thought the author must be nuts. He looks at kids as problems to be dealt with -- not enjoyed for the individual each one is.

My kids didn't come with a manual. And if they had come with this one, I'd have tossed it in the garbage where it belonged.

I read it and did not agree with most, what I did agree with is finding a schedule and working to stick to it.

I recommend using the Baby Whisperer over Baby Wise, but I incorporated both in my early parenting with my daughter.

The principles are whacked out beyond belief and the book was written by someone who is not a doctor or even a medical professional!

It states that you, the parent, should dictate when baby eats, sleeps, etc. Forget the fact that baby might be hungry at other times, might need sleep at other times. I do understand that some parents have been able to glean info from the book but no thanks. Please know that this book has led to cases of failure to thrive.

http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

I'll stick with Dr. Sears, Dr. Harvey Karp, Tracy Hoagg (The baby whisperer). The offer solid advice and solutions for a kinder, gentler way of helping baby navigate thru this great, big, new world. I highly recommend looking into The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears, The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Karp and The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hoagg.

Baby needs a routine. This is something they come to depend on. This is how an infant learns what to expect and what is expected of them. The 3 books that I noted above will teach you amazing things about how to soothe baby, how to teach baby to sleep, and how to ensure that baby feels secure and comforted all while following baby's lead.

I read this book after hearing a great deal of controversy about it. Some of it seemed fairly straight-forward, and some of it was horrifying. The baby is treated as a little robot that can be programmed for the parents' convenience. I was shocked – it goes against every maternal instinct I've ever had. It also puts the mom on a schedule that might not work at all for the particular baby, which can lead to an early sense of failure.

Here are some reviews on this book that you might want to peruse. Please read the lowest ratings, in addition to the highest. There are some compelling reasons not to take this route, given by parents who have tried it: http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Reference-Worldw...

I recently met a friend of a friend whose baby, now over a year, has failed to bond with his mother. and the situation is terribly sad. She deeply regrets using the Babywise approach, believing it to be the basis of the problem. Yet her son seemed "content" to start sleeping through the night at about 4 weeks old.

Parents, when contemplating children, don't always realize that the kids' needs will ideally come first for the first few years. It's part of the package, and the grownups are the only ones who get to sign on that dotted line before conception. Of course it's hard, when experienced parents warn how very demanding and exhausting it will be, to understand the reality of that. Wouldn't it be great if there were a way to "test drive" all the demands, so we can decide if we're up to it?

I've known so many young parents over my 45 years as an adult, and a lucky few have babies that sleep well, but most don't. I've watched all sorts of approaches to sleep techniques / training over the years, and honestly, the babies I've known who were attended to more ungrudgingly in their first year or so, even when it made extraordinary demands on the parents, really have seemed to settle into a more secure and happy childhood. Perhaps it is only that those parents were the most willing to answer all the exhausting demands of parenting, but It seems to me that those children who know they will have their needs met they tend to be less needy, anxious, or even angry, than kids whose parents had expectations that they "should" sleep earlier, control their impulses sooner, or behave more conveniently.

Ditto the ezzo info sites.

To know... this book was *required* reading in both my nursing and psych programs (we were also required NOT to buy it, but to borrow it or buy a used copy). Nursing, med, & psych schools around the country require it so that new doctors, nurses, and psychologists are adequately prepared to explain to patients why NOT to UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES use this book.

It's so very dangerous that the christian publishers dropped the book entirely (too many wrongful death suits). The practices advocated in this book lead to failure to thrive (which includes brain damage, organ damage, seizure, and death), inability of a child to bond with it parents or any other individual (look up the studies on russian orphanages, and the long term effects of the poor babies and kids in them... this book, in a lot of ways, mimicks how children are raised in russian orphanages).

It's a very, very dangerous book. In large part because it's written in an engaging tone and mixed in with all of the HORRIFYING advice are common sense practical gems (but nothing original, the exact same gems can be found in ANY baby book). If you own it. Burn it.

Hi A. - Baby Wise is all about getting your baby on a schedule - your schedule, not necessarily your baby's. I know that you are tired and it sounds appealing but it has lots and lots of drawbacks in my opinion. I read the book and I thought it was just whacky. I didnt feel like it was a system that responded to every baby's little personalities and individual needs. Also the author represents himself as a doctor but he really isnt one.

I would recommend "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp and "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg who is an RN. I really liked Tracy Hoggs book. She teaches you how to stop and listen and "read" your baby and understand his signals and his language. (Before Tracy I never knew there was a difference between a pain cry and a hunger cry etc or that when a baby has had "too much", they turn their heads away) She teaches how to treat your child with respect like the individual they are and to get to know there inborn personality traits. She even has a little personality test for babies - and wow was it accurate. She also teaches alot about breast feeding, getting them to sleep and the right way to put babies on a schedule. The book is easy to read and also to use as a reference guide for questions.

You will hear that Babywise works for some. I think this is because of the baby's personality more than a it's some supersystem.

I say steer clear of Babywise.

Also - your wee little one is only a week old and should be fed on demand and no less than every 2-3 hours. You will notice times of day where he seems especially hungry and want to nurse more often - that's called "cluster feeding" and is normal and will continue for at least the first 6 months.

Congratulations on your new baby!!

btw - LOVED Peg's post. Please be sure to read it. She is right on target. My boys couldnt have more divergent personalities and they slept better at some times than others but they both knew that we were always there for them and could be secure in that.

That book is one of the most dangerous books written for new parents.
It has shown to have bad results, failure to thrive and many other problems. the AAP has warned against using this book.
infants have no wants they have only needs and those include feeding on demand, which is essential. She will sleep better as she gets older.
http://aapnews.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/1...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_Becoming_Babywise
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm
http://www.ezzo.info/feeding.htm

I completely agree with most of the other moms that this book was written by a QUACK!! I read it and was like "What????" My baby used to fall asleep at the boob (fine by me!) and this is completely against what the book tells you to do. A baby will eventually begin to regulate their habits and don't need a schedule! Go with your gut and what's best for your baby, not what some book tells ya! Congrats on the new one! It WILL get easier! I promise.

Dear A.,
Babywise is a controversial program which has been shown to be dangerous at times.
A one week old baby does not need to sleep better. Parents need to adjust. This is different than an 18 month old who still does not sleep through the night. Newborns have a 24 hour schedule, they don't shut off for 8 hours at night. They need to eat and sleep around the clock for their growth and development. It doesn't benefit the baby to sleep better. I know we think we have to do everything for our babies but they don't need us to decide when they need to eat or sleep - they know this best even though they are tiny!

I am against it. I haven't read the whole thing so I'm sure there is some good advise in there but for the most part I think it's wrong. My sister in law did it with her first baby and it was so sad to watch. In the book it states that even breast fed babies can be put on a 3 hour feeding schedule which anyone who has breastfed a baby knows that this just isn't true. You never know how much your baby is getting so you need to feed on demand. I mean yes my babies did go 3 hours sometimes between feedings but not every time. Her baby was so hungry and would cry but she said the book said that he will get in a routine and then he will be fine. It just broke my heart to watch this. Also the book said to always lay them down awake and never feed them to sleep which again is what newborns do. They love to fall asleep while eating. So if her baby started to fall asleep she would stop feeding him and lay him on the floor to upset him into waking up. I just felt like the book is teaching the parents to not be loving and is teaching parents to put their needs ahead of their babies. So if I were you the best thing is just listen to your baby. It takes time to get a routine down so don't worry about that right now. Just love, snuggle and feed your baby.

Hi A.,

A wise woman once told me "Read your baby, not a book."

If someone told me, one week after I had given birth, that I should read a book, I'd ask "when!?" Between diaper changes, endless snuggly, cuddly feedings, or the immense amounts of rest new moms and babies require? At that point, I couldn't even focus on reading a magazine! Babies aren't great sleepers immediately out the gate, and there's nothing that needs to be corrected at this very young age. I'd be wary of this sort of advice so early. Staying in touch and connected with your sweet new little boy will be the best thing you can do right now.

Use the time you would be reading this ill-advised book and take a nap instead. You and baby will be happier for it. *That's* baby wise!

basically it is getting your child on a schedule that will help to regulate their metabolism as their bodies are too young to do it automatically. You also want to have a schedule that is in this order Sleep time, then eat, then wake time, then start over. This helps your baby to not be dependant on eating in order to fall asleep. also, during wake time, the baby is usually happier as he/she has a full tummy. The length of the schedule varies with the childs age. At one week it should be about at 2 1/2 to 3 hours between each feeding. That would be fromt he START of one feeding to the START of the next feeding. Wake time would not be for very long if at all during this stage, but will progressively get longer as the baby gets older. I have used this system and it works like a charm. I would encourage you to get the book and read the whole thing if you are going to try this method so that you can understand why you do the things you do.....I found it to be very useful! Good Luck and CONGRATULATIONS!!

I didn't read this book in preparation because I heard a lot of negative things about it and I was pretty happy with waiting to see what happened. I was VERY lucky and got two pretty good sleepers -my first was better than my second. However, in the newborn stage, they ALL wake up A LOT! It takes a little while to figure out what they're waking up for -is it always food or maybe they're very sensitive to a dirty diaper, etc. but ultimately you need to let your baby regulate to living outside your womb for that first month or two. You'll notice as the baby grows that usually a pattern emerges. It may involve a lot more getting up than you like, but usually the constant (seeming) waking only lasts a little while. After your baby is several months old, if he/she is still getting up all the time -every hour or two -and NEVER going for any longer stretches, then check out "The Happiest Baby on the Block." It's a great book that takes a soothing approach. Ultimately though, when your baby is hungry, you or your husband or someone is going to have to get up and feed him/her! If what the other posts say is true about Baby Wise, I would stay away from it. Those first few weeks and months are crucial for bonding with your new child -you and your partner/spouse. If you have a baby who is waking up every 2 hours like clockwork, enlist Dad to help out. Pump and put into a bottle or supplement with formula -or you may be using all formula. You DO need some rest, but not at the expense of how your baby feels his first few months of life.

I have never read the book, so take this for what it is worth, but basically it advocates a parent-directed routine, including:
1. Feeding approximately every three hours.
2. Trying to keep the baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards.
3. Putting the baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping the baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overly dependent for sleep on any one prop such as: rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, and so on.
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into your or the family's routine, rather than arranging your or the family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).

There is a concern among pediatricians that this method outlines an infant feeding program that has been associated with failure to thrive (FTT), poor weight gain, dehydration, breast milk supply failure, and involuntary early weaning. Here is a link to an article explaining the concern:
http://www.ezzo.info/Aney/aneyaap.htm

I haven't used the method myself, as I believe strongly that babies should be fed on-demand, especially early on. I do know moms who swear by it, but it wasn't for me. I did find Dr. Harvey Karp's book The Happiest Baby on the Block very helpful in getting my son to sleep well. Have you tried swaddling your baby? It made all the difference in the world for us.

Best of luck with your new baby!

Baby Wise is about helping your infant develop his or her own schedule and sleeping habits so that they are better sleepers. I used it on my now three year old, and I just began to use it with my 6 week old. She's now starting to sleep about 8 hours at night. My three year old is a wonderful sleeper, and always has been. It could just be her, but I'm glad to give Baby Wise at least a little credit. ;-) If you're curious, just go peruse the bookstore. You can look through the book there.

Lots of moms, by the way, have been told that Baby Wise is horrible and that you can't feed your child when they're hungry if it's not on the schedule, etc. That is ridiculous. It isn't like that at all. Every method is to be used with common sense, of course (like... feed your baby when he's hungry... DUH!), but that's not even what the author recommends, so I'm not sure how it got that reputation. I have found it to be very helpful and compatible with loving and compassionate parenting. Give it a try. If you don't like it, then don't use it. It's only $10 (cheaper if you can find it used).

I found this to be a super interesting article, written by someone who worked for Gary Ezzo: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/adventure-in-ezzoland.html
HTH!

I am a huge fan of Baby Wise as well. I used the philosophy with both of my children. I, however, did not start using it until they were probably 6-8 weeks old. They not only were sleeping through the night at 10-14 weeks but they developed great sleeping habits. The book emphasizes a routine but also the order of the routine (sleep, eat, awake). The order of the routine is key. Putting a child down to sleep awake teaches them to put themselves to sleep, which not only helps when they initially go to sleep but also if they wake up in the middle of the night. Both of my kids were/are great nappers. They both took two 2-3 naps a day (and slept all night) until they were 22-23 months old. Currently at 23 months and 3 yrs 9 mos, they both take one 2-4 hour nap. I would also like to include that I breastfed both of my children and Baby Wise worked absolutely fine with both of them. When you first start, the routine is shorter so that they eat more often and then over time the span of the routine gets longer. As a few of the other posters have said, with any philosophy you have to use common sense. You have to read and know your baby, have some flexibility, etc. Routine is key for babies and children. Find one that works for you and your baby (it may take some work at first) and stick to it. Good luck!

I used the Babywise principals with all 3 of my kids, and they all slept through the night by 7 weeks, and continue to b great sleepers. My youngest is 4 months old, and we put her to bed between 8 & 9, and I have to wake her up at 7 in the morning, to get her going for the day (my other two are in school, and have to be there by 8). Anyone with any intelligence can figure out how to use this book to get their baby on a schedule, and this book never tells a parent not to feed their baby - in fact, it says "remember that you are the parent - endowed with experience, wisdom, and common sense. Trust these attributes first, not an extreme of emotion or the rigidity of the clock. When special situations arise, allow context to be your guide."

I constantly get compliments on what a good baby my daughter is, and I firmly believe it is because she knows what to expect, and we understand exactly what she needs when she cries (even my boys can tell whether she is tired or hungry).

Everyone has their own beliefs as to how to feed their baby, and whether a routine will work for them or not. From my experience, this book helped us shape 3 very happy babies who are great sleepers and well adjusted kids - I recommend it to all of my friends, and everyone I know that has tried it has had the exact same result.

Best of luck to you - Congrats on your little bundle of joy & I promise it gets so much easier once everyone starts getting more sleep :)

Hugs!
~T.

I think a lot of folks who criticize Baby Wise have never actually read it themselves - they have just read the criticism. The book never says to not feed a hungry baby, and it explicitly says not to try to set a schedule during the first few weeks (perhaps earlier editions were less explicit or more restrictive, and that is how it got its reputation). I used it after several friends recommended it to me, and two years later, my son is (praise the Lord) happy and healthy, emotionally and physically. Two of the posters below seem to outline the principles well - Janine P and Bridget B. Whatever parenting books you use, just keep in mind that ultimately, you make the decisions and can "tweak" the strategies as you feel is appropriate.

First of all, 1-week-old babies do not sleep well. Neither do 2-week-old babies. If you are having trouble with day vs. night confusion, your pediatrician should be able to help you. Otherwise, your baby is not going to sleep well. I know it's hard, but you'll get through it! Things do get better!

Second, I read "On Becoming Babywise," and I found it to be very regimented and inflexible. The ONLY valuable information that I found in the book was the schedule-pattern Sleep-Eat-Play, This schedule helps you remember not to feed your baby to sleep, a habit that is difficult to break in older babies. However, even this schedule is a bit overly mature for a 1-week-old baby. I didn't start worrying about feeding my first child to sleep until he was 2-3 months old, which is plenty early enough to begin basic sleep training. My pediatrician recommended that we beginning putting our son to bed with his eyes open by the time he was 4 months old. We did, and he is wonderful about self-soothing.

My advice is to give yourself some time. Yes, you're tired and stressed! Being the mother of a newborn is hard! It gets better, I promise!

I just wanted to say we love, love, LOVE Babywise in this house!! It was highly recommended to me by several of my best mommy friends while I was pg with my first. My oldest was sleeping thru the night by 8 weeks, my second was sleeping thru by 6 weeks. This would NOT have happened without my Babywise book. The author repeatedly says in the book that it's up to the parents to use their best judgement and decide at the time what is best for their child. I think if you have good common sense you will be fine. If you don't use good judgement, your child can be harmed no matter what book you read. My children are the happiest, sweetest, most well adjusted children and people comment all the time what a pleasure they are to be around. A lot of this is due to the fact that we all get our sleep!! And they are on a schedule (also a babywise thing) so they KNOW what to expect from me, as far as meals, naps, etc. and I KNOW what to expect from them. No melt-downs, no tantrums, no trying to figure out "Is she hungry? Is she tired?" Never. I couldn't recommend it enough. I know this isn't what you asked but I think your question has already been answered a few times so I had to defend the book a little since you had so many bashers reply. Best of luck!!
P.S. I should also add that I breastfed both of my girls and they were/are happy and healthy, in the top 75-90 percentile. Never had any health or emotional issues due to this book. Just very content and well rested. =)

I read Babywise, but actually found another book to be so helpful for sleep issues with both of my boys. I would highly recommend Healthy Sleep HAbits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. He is all about getting your child on a sleep schedule which I know some parents are against but it has been such a blessing to our family b/c it actually worked! :) There are lots of good tips in that book. Get it from the library first to see if you like it but in the end I used it as a reference a lot so having your own copy would be good too.

Good luck!

baby wise is awesome. i didn't use it with my first... did with my second two and they are GREAT sleepers. sleep all night, fall asleep fast and easy, and it started around 6 weeks and was consistent from 2 months on with both of them.

i didn't follow the book to the letter, just the basic idea that they eat as soon as you wake up, (don't nurse baby to sleep) eat enough to fill up for 3 hours or so, (no snacking; this is a meal!) and let them sleep at night as long as they will!

good luck with your family!