Baby's Refusal to Nurse

Updated on October 16, 2008
S.H. asks from Torrance, CA
21 answers

My baby is 14 months old and all of a sudden the other day he completely refused to nurse in the morning . He was crying an moving his head away from my chest, but at the same time wanting me to hold him . I just thought maybe he was fussy since he has a cold .I did try again that night and the next morning but he still refused. At the same time I have been trying to wean him a little at a time. I was down to 2 times a day . He is a great eater for solids and so so for milk and water . I should also mention that he really started walking all over now.
My question is , has that happened to anyone else ? Is that his way to tell me he is done ? For my daughter I chose when to stop . Of course i am very engorged also , any tips for that too ?
Thanks for all of your answers to come . :-)

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S.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sounds like he might have an ear infection and doesn't want to lay down. Is he drinking or eating other things?

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J.R.

answers from Las Vegas on

My son just did the same thing not too long ago! I finally tried to pump to see if he would take it that way, and that's when I realized I had nothing to pump! I had dried up and he didn't want to work that hard for the milk! :) Maybe it's the same for you!

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T.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

As I understand it it can be painful to nurse for a baby who has a cold or may be teething maybe pump a little for relief and see if your son will take it from a cup? Good luck

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

Great job nursing so long! Pump so when he wants to nurse today or tomorrow you have it. Sometimes when their teeth come in the suction hurts or when they learn a new skill, walking, they just want to try out their independence for a bit. My son is 18m now, but twice so far, he's gone 1 or 2 days on a nursing 'strike' then it passed.

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J.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son did the same thing at 15 months. He ended up being done nursing. There is a lot going on in his little world right now! Give it a few days and see if it continues. It could just be a nursing strike and he will be back on. If you are ready to start weaning, go with it. If he is a great eater, he is getting enough to eat. As for the Hustler boobies...Pump, but just enough to relieve yourself. Crazy as it sounds, when I weaned my daughter I did run around with cabbage leaves in my bra and it worked. (But, I was trying to totally dry up at that point.)

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

it sounds to me like he's weaning himself!
It has happened to 2 friends of mine, around the same age and it sounds the same. It doesn't happen often, but once in a whille it does, and then at lest you know that he wanted to stop, and won't suffer from the weaning.
Try pumping a little, just enough to get relief.
congratulations!

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D.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son did this at 10 months. I had been weaning him from his midday nursings and was just nursing in the morning and evening before bed. He then started refusing my breast in the morning and he did it a few days in a row. I figured that was his way of telling me he was ready to wean completely. Sounds like your little guy is doing the same thing. As for the engorgement, I would suggest pumping a little bit to releive some of the pressure and then gradually stop and your milk should dry up. Good luck!

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E.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

May be teething, or a sore throat keeping him from wanting to nurse.

Pump when you need too, he'll nurse again in a couple of days if you want him too - just keep offering the breast.

He isn't "self-weaning" at 14 months - this is unheard of.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh my goodness, S., the same thing happened to me. Exactly one week before my daughter's 1 year old birthday she weaned herself. I know some people don't believe babies wean themselves, but they do.... especially the strong willed ones. I am a stay-at-home mom but I freelance a few days a month. By her 11th month, I was down to just nursing in the morning and evening before bed. I loved it! I worked a few days this particular week and one night came home and tried to nurse her and she bit me hard and signed "all done". I've been teaching her sign language since she was 6 months. I couldn't believe it so I kept trying. Every single time over the next few days, she'd bit me or just sign "all done". I too thought this was a nursing strike, maybe since I worked 3 days that week. I kept offering my breast to her over the next few weeks but she wouldn't even entertain the fact. I continued pumping just in case she changed her mind. She never did. That was it. My wonderful year of nursing had come to an end on her decision. I was a bit heart broken at first but it turned out to be a blessing as I picked up 23 days in July and August (only have worked 2 days since though). To relieve discomfort I just wore a snug sports bra each day and the first week only pumped once a day and the second week didn't pump at all. I just dried up naturally and the discomfort was never too bad. Just keep something snug on.
My kid never ever took a bottle either so I just gave her organic milk in her cereal feedings 2X a day and that way I knew she was getting calcium from milk and iron from the Earth's Best cereal.

Hang in there. It's hard at first but now with all those teeth in her head, I'm glad it's over. She's a big girl now. Best, M.

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L.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi,
here are 2 questions to consider. . .
1. did you work out close to the time you tried to nurse? babies can sense/taste lactic acid build up.
2. could you be pregnant? they also seem to sense that.

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

my 5 month old daughter did this to me last weekend. i'm not sure what caused it but she would NOT nurse. i ended up pumping and feeding her with a bottle, which she took readily! after a few days she was nursing again...
hang in there...
C.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! S.,

Yes, I would say he is saying that he is done. I would offer the breast for the next serveral days and if he could continues to refuse then you are done. For the engorgement, hot showers and let it drip. Also you might want to contact your doctor as there is meds that will help dry up your milk.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Major milestones will cause baby to cut down on nursing to go 'practice' their new skill. For engorgement express in the shower and just let the run off go down the drain. Express enough so your comfortable. Your breasts will adjust after a few days. Good luck!

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D.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,
If he has a cold, maybe he is having trouble breathing while trying to nurse? I've read that it's easier for them to drink from a bottle/cup when they are congested, since they can't breathe through their nose.

If you are engorged and want to maintain your milk supply, you should pump. He might start nursing again once his cold clears up. If you are ready to wean him, now might be a good time.

Good luck to you and I hope your son feels better.

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A.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Stacy,
Does he have a stuffy nose? Because my son had asthma as an infant and when he would get a stuffy nose he couldn't breathe, so he wouldn't nurse. But if he is weaning himself off, thats even better!! It was sooo hard to wean my daughter off. Well good luck with your little man.

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A.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son did that at 11mos and quit cold turkey. I had to pump for about 2 weeks, and he would drink from the bottle, but not from my breast. He was teething and bit me a couple times, and I think he didn't like my shock reaction. It was hard for me emotionnally, the fact that he was done with me so quickly. But I'm glad I didn't have to go through the weaning. My milk supply slowly decreased, pumping wasn't stimulating as much production as nursing, so it all dwindled naturally.

Let your baby quit, he is 14 mos old, it seems like a good time to let go of nursing, especially if he is telling you he's done

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A.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,
My first intuitive feeling was allergies, would explain congestion, possibly to milk. Also how is your stress level? Our dear little ones pick up & feel that. Good luck & blessings to you. Also I would consult babies pediatrician.

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D.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

He is probably getting in his eye teeth or other teeth that are really painful. The wanting/refusal thing is classic symptomology for the homeopathic remedy Camomilla. It is found at any good health food store. A 30x strength is what we used. Get the kind that dissolve in the mouth easily, not the harder pellets at that age.....

Do your research. i'm not a doc but I am a mom that used it and saw it used with GREAT success.

Also, I have seen that kids grow in cycles. When they are growing and changing a lot their behavior is more intense and erratic. When they have gained a plateau...a new skill..feeling good about their recent achievements in life they tend to be more mellow and go with the flow more easily because they are self assured.

Think of yourself...when you are stressed out you are more irritable, right? When you feel good about yourself, your life or work you are more generous with your time, more patient....Kids are just small people like us. Their stress is learning new skills and going through new experiences.....WALKING IS HUGE!!!!!

Maybe hold off for a bit on the weaning? Maybe just for a teeny bit to give your kid a minute to feel like he's got some ground under his feet...

What your beautiful daughter did has little to do with what your beautiful son will do.....

You can make other options more desirable at "nummies" time but, since you are asking for advice here, I'd let him make the call if he needs to hold off for a minute.

Life goes by fast even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Try to treasure the sweet moments you have with him. When he stops you will be relieved....definitely...but a part of you will mourn the loss.

Being a mom is all about letting go though....from the minute they cut the cord....

Thanks for being a sweet and loving mom.

Deb

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L.T.

answers from San Diego on

Yes!!! This happened to me too when my son was 16 months old. He weaned himself...cold turkey! One day he just thought it was hysterical to nurse...he would latch on for about 2 seconds and bust up laughing, switch sides and do it again...then he was "done"...and would settle into "cuddle" position. He did this for about a week total, I thought it was a nursing strike...but no...it was more, he was done and moving on. It was painless for him...though I felt a little sad for a while...sort of rejected, but then I realized he was growing and developing so rapidly. He just no longer needed me in that way. He is a happy well adjusted 9 year old now!

As far as the engorgement...if he has weaned himself and you are both definately done, then pump some out for relief but not fully, do this over time (1-2 weeks), save the milk for his sippy, reduce your pumpings as much as possible and you will dry up eventually.

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had been weaning my daughter, and one evening the week before she turned one, she was not longer interested in nursing. My son lost interest at 14mos. I think it's wonderful you've nursed this long, and I think your son is letting you know that he's done. You've given him a wonderful start. As for the engorgement - do you have a pump to relieve the pressure? I would pump only when engorged, and eventually you'll lose your milk supply. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He's sick... and this often creates a nursing problem... is he stuffed up? A stuffed up and congested baby has a hard time sucking at the same time because they can't breathe through their nose, because they are stuffed up.
Also, you said you are engorged... so, this often will cause nipples to spurt out and have a strong let down... (think about a full water balloon, as soon as you poke a hole it in it comes gushing out). Fast. This can also affect a child's nursing comfort.

Usually, when a baby is sick, they like to cuddle and nurse, because it is a comfort. BUT, you are also weaning him now...so, he has many things in his life that is changing, plus he is sick. So, this does make for a difficulty in their usual routines.

Ask your Pediatrician, and since he is still sick. Just make sure he stays hydrated.

take care,
Susan

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