Babywise Advice Needed

I know many people are hard core babywise, but as you said each child is different. My son would have never worked on that shedule, but I did work with him on his schedule and he was by far one of the happiest babies I knew/know. Some babies need to eat more, and with their bellies being so very small they can't take in anymore in a single sitting. You might find her happier between feedings and sleeping better if you feed and let her sleep on her schedule which is best for her verses any other. I wish you the best of luck! ENJOY

I find it funny how if the topic was breastfeeding, then no one would say don't look at the kellymom or LLL websites and definitely don't consult an expert, yet when it comes to sleeping and scheduling everyone should throw out the books, ignore those who have conducted actual research, and go willy-nilly.

Edit - Beth, I wrote my post before you did. I do not know your approach, therefore how could I consider your approach "willy-nilly". I'm referring to the people who say "throw out the books" and do whatever you want.

Just because you disagree with the approach does NOT invalidate it, nor should it give people the opportunity to make a mother feel badly about a technique that you oppose or do not use.

Sure the baby doesn't know how to read the books. But babies need to be taught to eat (some need help learning how to latching on, feeding from a spoon, drinking from a cup) as well as learning how to walk, talk, read just like they should be taught good sleep habits and patterns. Would you just let your child how to figure out how to walk unsupervised or would you encourage that behavior? Do you just throw your child a book to let him or her figure out how to read, or do you provide assistance? I feel sleeping is the same way. Routine is exceptionally helpful, but be respectful of the cues and clues you see in each child because, yes, they're all different.

Personally, I never used Babywise but I did use Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. Two months might be a little early, you might get better results around four months, but if you have had success previously with your methods (no one knows your situation and household better than you), be patient and consistent. You might find that you need to tweak your schedule a little bit. If she can't make it the full three hours, scale back by half an hour or so. If you haven't already, start routines that you follow each time upon waking, eating, playing, then preparing for nap. Your child will begin to understand that, perhaps, when mommy is rocking me in the chair with the lights down low it is time for napping (AGAIN LEADING BY EXAMPLE). The comfort and security of a schedule that is flexible yet predictable helps to lessen anxiety in a child and begins to build trust - the cause and effect of what happens can be very soothing to a child. Another example is a nighttime routine - bath, massage, pajamas, bottle, bed - the baby knows what is coming and knows that it is time for sleep.

You will note that in my suggestion, in no way do I say throw the baby in the crib and let him or her figure it out.

Sad as this might be, we do our bedtime routine at our home now and my 12 month old is to the point where he knows that when the bottle is done it is time to be in the crib - he doesn't want to snuggle anymore, he wants to go to bed. Now, if I wanted to fulfill my selfish (not others...MY) need to force him to cuddle with me I suppose I could, but he wants to go to sleep and knows that we will be there when he wakes in the morning because we have gained his trust. And...it is healthy for him to get the appropriate sleep he needs for proper physical, emotional, and social development, so we put him down.

I'm don't just throw my child in the crib and slam shut the door. I would LOVE to cuddle him, but he WANTS to go to sleep. If it were all about me (like it is for some mothers), I'd force my child to stay awake JUST so I could cuddle him.

Good luck to you and if you (not to mention your older daughter) experienced success with your previous techniques/Babywise, don't let other naysayers make you feel like a terrible mommy because that's how you choose to raise your child.

T.,

I am sorry but I just had to post. Don't give up on your ideas of a schedule and trying to follow the Babywise book. I have 4 kids and I used the advise from the book as a great guideline. You are right...every child is different, and just because you are formula feeding your child and not breastfeeding does not change the dynamics of the situation. I breastfeed 3 of my 4 kids and I have a great relationship with each of them.

Now about your situation...just because she isn't on the exact schedule on the exact timeline that the book says...it's OK. Just work with what she is giving you. If you have to feed her every 2 3/4 hours then feed her then. I know that my kids may have gone sometimes every 2 1/2 hours one time and then every 3 1/4 hours the next time. One thing that I liked about the book is that it was a guideline...not something that was set in stone. You have to look at the book and apply it to your situation and if something in it doesn't work than try to stay with it but just taylor it to your life. In the end...it will still work out. I know that one of my children wasn't on the exact schedule but within 12 weeks they were still sleeping through the night and a very happy baby on the schedule. I was also happy. Just remember that at 8 weeks they should only be able to sleep up to around 8 hours a night as a formula feed baby.

Don't give up on what you want and work with your daughter...don't fight against her. Obviously if she is crying 1 1/2 hours after the last time you feed her, she is probably not hungry...but if she is getting close to her feeding and she is crying then she is probable getting hungry.

I just wanted to write you and let you know that you have someone in your corner when if comes to raising your child on the Babywise plan. If you ever need to ask any questions or you just want some support...please don't hesitate to contact me. Congratulations on your newest little one.

I agree with the other posters--throw away the books and allow your baby to be a baby--babies need to eat at least every 2 1/2 hours for the first few months and it is not natural or healthy for them to sleep all night. My daughters are all grown now and I have grand kids--the best advice I can give any new parent is that before you know it they will be grown up so enjoy them as babies and then children and then teens--don't try to rush the process. No baby was ever spoiled by too much holding or loving or nursing. CHildren are spoiled by junk food, junk toys and TV not by love and attention. At 8 weeks it is not too late to go back to nursing your baby--you can get your milk supply going again and your babe may be happier with your milk-(but will need to feed every 2-2 1/2 hours). If a mother does feed formula she needs to mimic nursing as closesly as possible for her babies health and security--that means feeding as a breast fed baby--more frequently wiht smaller amounts and holding in your arms.

I'm not too familiar with babywise but I have been told by my doctor that babies don't truly get on a schedule until about 4 months. My boys ate every 2 hours and it was very hard at first, but at about 4 months they were pretty independant and kept to a schedule.

I did babywise with all 3 of my kids and each needed a little tweaking as babies as you know are not all alike.
My best advice is that your baby is not waking up hungry, she is not sleeping well b/c she is overstimulated. Staying up for 1 -1 1/2 hours after a feeding never worked for any of ours at that young of an age. It is true that babies do not sleep well if they are overtired. They always sleep much better and more restful if put down before overtired. There was a time with our 1st child that we put her down after only being awake for 15 minutes after a feeding. This actually went on till she was about 3 months old. I know, not a lot of awake time, but that was the only way she would sleep. So my advice is don't keep her up longer hoping she will sleep longer. Put her down for a nap much earlier than what you are. Start with 45min of awake time and see what happens, plus swaddling worked the best but only for our 3rd one, like I said they are all different.

I read the Babywise book, and used *some* of the techniques in it. It worked really well with my first baby, and I never needed to employ most of the controversial tactics, because he did like the book said-- he started stretching out his feeding times on his own, sleeping through the night, etc, all by himself (with my guidance of course).

Then, I had my second one. As we speak, he's jumping up and down in his crib.

If it were me, I would try 2 hours 35 mins, then 2h 40 mins, etc. Just keep stretching it out a couple mins before you go on in to get her up, let the baby get used to it, and then do another 5 mins. Either way, as soon as the baby wakes (or as soon as you get her up and change her), I'd go ahead and feed her, whether it's been 3 hours or not. IMO, the *routine* is more important than the amount of *time* between feedings at this young age. The feedings will stretch out on their own as long as you're getting a full feeding at each time, and as long as you're not letting her "snack" 100 times a day, and as long as you continue with the eat, play, sleep routine. HTH

As you said, each baby is different. I had great success with letting my daughter dictate her own schedule when she was that young. Granted, I was up every two hours in the beginning, but I slept when she did and I survived. To this day (18 months) she still pretty much dictates the schedule (5 hours up, three hour nap, five hours up, bed time) and it works out fine. She's just recently changed from two two hour naps a day to just one three hour nap.

One thing I can advise is sleep when they sleep. I only have one so it's easier, but when both are napping then you nap too, it will help. You can even choose a nap to skip and stay up to do a little house work and such.

Good luck.

Didn't Ezzo revise his previous, stricter stance on PDF -- too many babywise kids showed up with failure to thrive because the parents were following the clock too closely and ignoring baby's cues. Now he is more lax and encourages parents to feed the baby if they are hungry, right?

An 8 week old is likely in a MAJOR growth spurt. This happens again at 12 weeks. Please just take a little vacation from Ezzo for the next month and use your baby as your guide (as humans have for millenia!). You can always get back to babywise after the 12 week growth spurt has passed. You might even be able to revel in your little one's babyhood even more without worrying so much about her schedule? Just a thought.

Congrats on the birth of your baby!

I'm sure you have probably heard some of this before, but please be careful using the Babywise approach. Check out this website:
http://ezzo.info/voices.htm

I agree with the other mom. I have also heard many negative things concerning the health of babies and the babywise book. Especially considering it is against what your dr. is suggesting.

Good luck finding the right choice for your family!

I feel compeled to challenge some of the things that Mi R wrote in a previous post.

She wrote:
"I find it funny how if the topic was breastfeeding, then no one would say don't look at the kellymom or LLL websites and definitely don't consult an expert, yet when it comes to sleeping and scheduling everyone should throw out the books, ignore those who have conducted actual research, and go willy-nilly."

No one is saying to through out the books and research, we are baseing our information on different books and research, more gentle approaches. Trust me, I've done a ton of my own research and I'm going to opposite way, and it's definatly not willy-nilly!

She also wrote:
"But babies need to be taught to eat (some need help learning how to latching on, feeding from a spoon, drinking from a cup) as well as learning how to walk, talk, read just like they should be taught good sleep habits and patterns. Would you just let your child how to figure out how to walk unsupervised or would you encourage that behavior? Do you just throw your child a book to let him or her figure out how to read, or do you provide assistance? I feel sleeping is the same way. "

I agree that babies need assistance, but not in the way you are suggestion. How do babies learn to eat? Do you actually "teach" them to use a fork or do they learn from watching you and being close to you? Any baby that's been around adults when they eat already knows what to do with a fork because he has watched you. So you don't really need to "teach" that. And, by the way, both of my kids learned how to walk without me teaching them...because they see us doing it. They learn by our example...Same with sleep. When you are close to your baby they see going to sleep, and that helps them understand. How is leaving them alone in their crib "teaching" them anything?

And lastly, she ended with:
"Now, if I wanted to fulfill my selfish need to force him to cuddle with me I suppose I could, but he wants to go to sleep and knows that we will be there when he wakes in the morning because we have gained his trust."

what's wrong with cuddling? Are you suggesting that those of us who cuddle with our babies are selfishly doing it? I kind of tend to think the opposite. And, how have you gained any trust? Maybe we should think about how you really gain someones trust. Do I learn to trust my husband if I'm feeling abandoned? Why would it be any different for a baby?

With my first one I tried the scheduled approach. We struggled with it for three months she was in this cycle of sleeping 20 minutes and eating for 45 minutes, breastfeed, on each side. I finally ignored all and followed her ques. What I discovered was that she was in a major growth sprit and was truly that hungry. Once I started feeding her a little more frequently she was able to sleep longer and to have more moments of her not screaming.

With my son I decided that I was not going to follow a schedule nor was I going to wear a watch or be near a clock. It worked better because by the time he was two weeks old he was sleeping in 4 hour stents at night and awake more during the day. It was such an awesome and better experience to go that route.

I think sometimes these people that write books are in it for the money and want to feed upon people who are not experienced or who have not been around children. With that said every child is different and there is no manual, as my husband would say, for each child. Just follow what your gut and heart says and what you feel is right for your child. You are going to be fighting with her needs and for now it sounds like she is in need of food.