Question: How would you handle this familial relationship?
Background:
About two years ago, I began working with a woman who had created a food product and was just starting up. About a year ago, I introduced her to my husband's brother-in-law (BIL), as he is in the food industry and might be of some help to her. He told me separately he thought her product was good, but the space she was going into was crowded and she probably wouldn't do very well. She really liked my BIL and his company and agreed verbally to work with him and his company. His company debuted her product at a major trade show and everyone loved it and orders started flowing in like crazy. Suddenly, his company started asking her for a larger piece of her business (which she was unwilling to give), then eventually they stopped paying her (as if to put her out of business) and now his company has made a knock-off product just like hers. His company is small - about 10 employees and he's one of the partners, so he's definitely a key decision-maker. I'm not an employee of this woman's company, but I am a consultant. Her business is too small to add me on the payroll and now that my BIL's company owes her so much, she couldn't pay me more if she wanted to do so. Her company is in a lawsuit with his, and I am personally baffled and furious that all of this has happened. I'll let the attorneys deal with the legal side of this (which is no small matter), but now I have to deal with this family member at varying family functions.
Don't talk business around him and keep the interactions brief and as cordail as possible. One reason why I don't do business with family...
I'm so glad you mentioned attorneys are involved because that's what I was going to suggest.
I differ, probably, from some of the other opinions. He would no longer be treated like family by me. Where was his familial regard for you and your friendship? It's one thing if I wasn't that involved, and perhaps was just hearing my friend's side of it. To the contrary, it sounds like you were directly connected to the whole issue.
I would be civil, and I wouldn't make life difficult for my other family members. But I wouldn't treat him or feel the same about him either.
If he acknowledged what happened and apologized for his role in it, then I would feel differently and I would forgive. If he does not seek forgiveness I wouldn't give it, but I would let it go (keeping him at arms' length from now on) for my own sake .
That's just me.
I second Angela's post. You were also involve, if you haven't introduce them most chances are they wouldn't have meet. No saying, at all, that is your fault, unless he had a record on doing this to that you were aware, so in my opinion he did bring this cloud to the family not you and I would not be treating him like nothing happened. I wouldn't start a fight but totally no treat him like "it is ok, we are family"
Hopefully this women is not loosing everything for this business.
Just let the attorneys deal with it. Family is family, business is business. The easiest way to tell where you are, if you are at home or the home of a family member you are with family, leave business out of it. If you are at work or meeting with people from work with the purpose of work then it is business, leave family out of it.
This advice comes from a woman who was married for 18 years to someone who was part of a family business!
Let the attorneys handle the legal stuff. If you are called to give a deposition, tell the truth. In the meantime, if you have to be around this family member, definitely refuse to discuss the subject with him. Period. He could take anything you say and twist it. I hate to say that, but keep your involvement exactly where it's been. You are a consultant. I might continue consulting as far as the business itself goes, but I would be reticent to discuss the law suit with your colleague either. It will make you more credible if you present yourself as professionally as possible until called on to answer any questions.
It's a mess, for sure. At least you know, and the woman whose business you are involved in know that you weren't the ones being shady.
It will be interesting to see how it works out.
Keep us posted.
Speak the truth.
Hold your allegiance to your friend.
He's the O. that's gotta look at himself in the mirror every day. Can he?
Well that can get really touchy. I'd just steer clear of him if you can, and really not talk to him much. And if he starts talking about it, or anyone else, just say "I don't want to be involved in this conversation" and walk away. I mean, he has to be a sleeze bag to do that to her no matter who she is, but it is worse to me, since she is your friend. I hope she wins the case against him.
N., if you are called into court, I hope you will be on her side. What he did is worse than back-stabbing.
Dawn
All you can say from a family standpoint is that "I can't believe he would do something like that". From a legal standpoint, let the courts decide and stay away from taking sides.
