Bedtimes

We have a 2.5 and 4 year, they go to bed no later than 8:30 and have to get up at 6:30. On the occasion that they stay up later they are miserable when they get up. They also take naps. Good Luck!

Well...I like to always resort to the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, as he is a pediatrician who specializes in infant/child sleep with over 3 decades of research, testing, and practice.

7:30 and 8:30 do not sound unreasonable at all. For children of the ages that you mention, Dr. Weissbluth recommends a bedtime between 6:00 - 8:00.

If he won't listen to you, maybe he'll listen to a nationally known expert with credentialing and work with tens of thousands of children.

My 11 month old goes to bed at 7:30-8pm. I have a friend with a 1 year old that goes to bed at 6pm. Most small children I know are in bed by 8-8:30 at the latest.

I saw someone already mentioned the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" which is what I was going to suggest. I've had that book for 8 years and it's a good one!!! My kids have always been "early risers" (6:30-7) so, we've had to do an early bedtime to get in enough sleep and not have the crabbies. My 5 year old still goes to bed by 7:30 to get in his 11 hours and my 9 year old reads in bed until she's ready to sleep but, usually between 8-9 and she's out. And after the days activities... I'm ready for some time to myself by 8:00!!! You'd think your husband would see that's it's easier to get them to bed early. Best of luck to you!!

Hi K.,
I have five children, ages 6, 4, 2, & 6 month old twins. On a typical night, we start our nightly routine at 6:45, and they are all read to and in bed by 8:00 at the latest. My two year old takes a two hour nap, and of course the babies nap at least twice during the day, but they are all ready for bed by 8. They all usually get up sometime between 6-7:30. You are not being unreasonable at all...young children need their sleep! Especially when they have busy schedules. After a full-day of first grade, I often think my 6 year old could go to bed at 7, we just can't get everything done in a night to get her to bed that early. Good luck to you!
S.

I know you have probably already seen this answer......but here is my 2 cents to pass along: the younger the child the more sleep they need. It is recommended for infants and toddlers to get 12 hours of sleep each night plus naps as needed. I have 4 children ages 16, 10, 4, &2. When I allow the 2 youngest to sleep as much as they need it is usually close to 12 hours. The 2 oldest do best when they get around 10 hours of sleep a night. Growing bodies need lots of sleep! I am also going through a divorce...not fun but needed for me to regain my sanity :-) Best wishes to you at this difficult time. Rely on God and He will get you through!

Every family is different, but if you look at some of the writings about behavioral problems, many researchers believe that these issues stem from too little sleep. Even if your cild doesn't "seem" tired, they should have a reasonable bedtime routine.

My 3-1/2 y.o. goes to be at 8:00 PM
My 21 mo old goes at 7:30 PM
They sleep until 7:00 AM

Good luck.

Hi K.,

Very sorry to hear about your divorce. I would recommend checking out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." It's written by a physician, research-based, and broken down by age group. Has great descriptions of typical sleep patterns at each age as well as suggestions if you need to make changes to your child's routine. Good luck.

Hi K.,

Yes, God is good and you know in your mind and spirit what you need to do for your babies. Stick to your heart and listen to yourself and do what you know is right and stay strong.

My 20mo and 4.5yr go to bed at 8pm and get up at 7:15. Adjust for your wake up time so bed at 7pm.

You're right. He's wrong. Just call your pediatrician and they'll confirm it for you. If you look in any baby book you can show him that children that age need 12-14 hours sleep per night.

Hang in there sweetie. MEN!! What do they know about kids! You are putting your kids to bed at the perfect times for their ages. Don't let anyone tell you differently. It also gives you time to get some things done, get relaxed so you can get a good nights sleep, and if you ex didn't realize it, it also gave you time alone with him. Too bad he didn't appreciate what a good mom you are.
Believe me, your life will be happy again, with or without him.

do they nap??? because if they take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon they are getting enough rest... are they exhausted? Only you can answer that question... if they are put them to bed earlier... youknow what though.... having a child who goes between two homes this is what I can tell you.... your home, your rules, his home , his rules... the closer you two get to a comprimise the better for the children....good luck

Hi, K. -

I am so sorry to hear about your impending divorce. Relationships are such a moving target -- we always believe they're going to be stable and solid, and it's so devastating to learn that what we hoped and believed won't get to become reality. I'm really sorry for your loss in this way.

But, the bright side is your two wonderful children!!

Yes, I 1000% agree with you about bedtimes! My daughter has had a bedtime of 7:30 PM since very early on in her life. She lives hard and sleeps hard, and that, to me, is healthy. Every now and then "life intrudes" with a special event and we let her stay up late. She'll be 4 in a few weeks, and this has been the first year where she's gotten to be awake for ANY reason after 9:30 PM. If she doesn't get enough sleep, we ALL have hell to pay.

Regularity of this sort is crucial for children, I am convinced -- sleep is an essential part of health and growth. Kids need the opportunity to turn off their minds and rest their bodies, and if their sleep pattern is messed up, it has bad consequences for their daytime lives.

For children as young as yours, I think the times you've established for bed are absolutely appropriate AND integral for protecting them from winter flu susceptibility and for better learning and play during the day. I have friends who refused to set a fixed sleep schedule for their children, and they've not only been sicker more often than we have but they have all sorts of issues when it comes to the kids' behavior during the day. The kids are exhausted - it's obvious - but they don't want to impose earlier bedtimes.

So, anyway, K., I'm staunchly in your corner.

I hope this helps!

H.

Bedtimes are a family issue and each family is different. Our family rarely has dinner before 8:00. We don't even arrive home until 6:00 at the earliest and that's if we have no evening activities. There are some nights that we don't get home until 9:00. My older two (8 & 6)get ready for bed at 9:15; to be in bed asleep by 10:00. The youngest (22 mos.) goes to bed when I get her there usually around 10:15. The older girls wake up at 6:40 and the youngest gets out of bed when she's ready usually around 7:30. We all leave the house at 8:00 for work and school. The littlest still naps for a couple of hours in the afternoon, which is great for our sitter. They are all healthy and well, no one is overly cranky. Kids will adjust to the schedule that you put them on, as long as they are having their needs met. The key is consistency so that their bodies know what to expect at each time in the day. Early bed times don't work for every family. Maybe if your husband needs to put the kids to bed later when he has them, he just needs to make sure they get an afternoon nap. He has the rite to run his family time as he sees fit as long as the children are not in any danger. I don't mean to be rude, but it sounds to me like you are trying to contol him and punish him for the divorce. You will only make it harder on you and the children. You would not want him to tell you how to run your household, and you need to afford him that same priveldge.

I think your bedtimes are pretty reasonable, especially when you are only trying to get each child enough sleep, which they need. I hope you are able to inform him how important sleep is to young children, to their ability to learn new things as well as physically grow! I would even think about getting a note from your pediatrician stating how much an "average" child needs, for each child. That way, if you need it, you have it in writing. Good luck!!!

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. You are a good momma and you are doing the right thing. As a mom you know sleep is sooo important for our little ones! I think your timing is right on target and I back you 100%!

God IS a good God and he WILL get you through this! GOD BLESS!

Those times sound just about right for your kids. Good luck with everything!

K.:

While I agree with you on the bedtimes, being a mom of two (age 15 and 6)I can not stress the importance of a routine to aide in the development of your children; however, if your husband is like most he is not going to take the advice of moms no matter how many might support your decision. I would suggest talking to your children's doctor as I know they too will support the amount of hours needed for your children to support good development and it will be difficult for your husband to argue with a Phd. Good luck.

Children that young do need about 12 hours sleep and usually a nap or two to keep from becoming cranky. Thier little bodies and minds are still growing rapidly which they need rest for.
Good luck going it on your own and if he doesn't want to follow your schedule he can just not see his beautiful babies.Kids need schedules and they expect certain things at certain times, broken schedules cause upset.
Blessings, Debbie

My 11 month old daughter and 9 yr. old son both go to bed between 8:30 and 9. They get up around 7 or so but neither of them has ever been a child that slept the recommended 12 hours. I think you have set very reasonable bedtimes for your kids but that is not all I wanted to say.

I have never been divorced and I am sure it is very hard. I have been a single mom. However, I just wanted to encourage you in your relationship with the Lord. It is such a great thing to hear a that you are clinging to Him steadfastly. It doesn't always seem like it but He is always there for us. He knows what it feels like to have a broken heart. I would just encourage you to gird yourself up with scripture and draw close to the Lord every day. He truly is the lover of your soul. My He grant you and family the peace that passes all understanding as you go through this time. God bless.

I think you are right on. I have 3 kids. Their ages are 4, 2 and a half, and 8 mo. Bedtime is 7 for the baby and 7:30 for the 4 and 2 year old. It could even be 7 for the 4 year old, because she doesn't take a nap and is really tired at 7. She won't go to sleep knowing her brother is still awake though. Bedtime at your house could easily be 7, esp. since they wake at 6:30. Kids need a lot more sleep than we think (and so do we, but that is another thing!). I taught K-2 grades and always had kids falling asleep in class. The ones who were tired were the ones who performed poorly in school. Those kids were the ones going to bed at 9 and 10 and even 11! They were also sick more. Sleep is good and it should be about 12 hours. Hope that helps. Good luck to you.

I'm sorry about your divorce, may I suggest that you attend a DivorceCare session at a church near you? It helped me immensely! As for bedtimes, you know your children best! If they are awake at such an early hour they need an early bedtime! They are growing, and need their sleep!

Dear K.,
Bless you. I too am a single Mom I have a boy who just turned 5, a boy who is 3 and a daughter who is 2. Bed time is very important. Research shows that they do need about 12 hours sleep a night. If the child takes a nap during the day it may make a small difference. My daughter goes to bed at 7 p.m. any later and she is fussy and too tired. The 3 year old goes to bed at 8 and the 5yr old goes to bed around 8:30. They all have to be up by 6:30 am so any latter and they don't want to get up. My problem is getting everyone in their own bed and getting and keeping them there. I'm failing. I will pray for you and you keep making the decisions that you know are right for your children.

H.

You are absolutely right that kids need about 12 hours of sleep. I used to get my kids to bed by 8pm every night and they would wake up at 8am. It was so nice because then I could have time to myself and they got what they needed. When school started this year for my kindergartener we had to get up at 7am and it was harder but she gets to take a nap at school when she normally didn't take one at home. Sometimes we get them in bed by 7:30pm because we are so tired after getting up so early. I'm waking up around 5:50 to 6:45 every morning depending on if I exercize. Now I go to bed at 10pm instead of 12am!
I think it is healthy for everyone to make sure they get enough sleep.
What is his concern though? Does he feel like they don't get the quality time with parents since they are away from you guys during the day?

If your kids aren't getting up really early then i think those bedtimes are just fine. its really on a kid to kid need. we put our 5 mo old to bed around 8 to 9 but if we don't go that late then he is up at 3am. we are still trying to get a routin. my daughter made the mistake (despite me telling her not to do it)of getting the baby use to sleeping with her. we are trying to break him of that now. good luck to you. from the sounds of it you soon to be husband is going to nick pick you to death. keep a chin up. it WILL get better!

Sorry to hear of your divorce, K.. I don't know you, but I am proud of your courage, strength and faith! I would love to know how you got your toddler to sleep so much earlier. My 4-year-old is tough to get to sleep and often it is more like 10:00 to 11:00 before she is asleep, even though I aim for 9:00 to 9:30. We don't have to get up early, but I would like to get up earlier than we do. Anyway, yes, you are right about needing the 12 hours of sleep at that age (although mine only ever needed 11 at night, but she's unusual!). And yes, those are perfectly normal, reasonable bedtimes, and absolutely necessary considering how early they awaken. You are 100% right--you go, girl!!

i'm so sorry for all that you are going through. i applaud you for working to do what is best for the kids in a time that is so hard for yourself.

i have two kids. an almost 4yrold son and a 14 month old daughter. they both have ALWAYS gone to bed between 7 and 7:30pm.

even as infants. we opted to make 7pm bedtime, let them sleep through the 10pm feeding and get up at 3am a little while longer so we could have an evening together.

they go to be at 7pm and wake up between 6:30 and 7am.
my son is allowed to have 1 hour of quiet book time in his room after we put him to bed. at 8pm one of us goes in for lights out. often he has already put his books down and gone to bed, or fallen asleep in his reading chair.

nap time at 1 or 1:30pm

i hope that helps.

i agree with you that it is important for everyone in the family for kids to get enough sleep. and especially if they have to get up early, they need to be getting to be early.
if they were 9 that would be one thing. but babies and toddlers need to sleep earlier.

best of luck!
:)

S.

I think you have to do what is right for your kids. Infants are on different schedules because they usually take multiple naps. If you are the primary parent to be with your children then you would know better than him. When my children were young they were in bed between 8 and 9 but closer to 8. I push my 10 and 13 year old to get to bed at 9 still today. My 15 year old I do nag him to get to bed but it usually is around 10. When you have an early schedule you really need to get to bed early. Even us adults need to get our rest. SOunds like your husband may have other issues going on. (control issues) Good luck to you.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I have a 28 month old daughter and almost 9 month old son. My son goes to bed between 7-7:30pm. My daughter is in bed by 8pm, 8:30pm at the latest. They don't usually get up until after 7-7:30am the next day, sometimes sleeping in as much as 8:30am. My daughter naps for 2 hours in the day, and my son naps from 2-3 hours in the day (combining his morning and afternoon naps).
I hope this helps. Good luck with everything.

My 10 month old son goes to bed between 8 & 8:30 PM on most nights.

You are 100% right and don't let anyone tell you different. Kids need approx 12 hours of sleep per night at those ages and that is even with a nap during the day. You are doing them a huge diservice if they are up past and then have to get up at 6:30 am. I know I would be cranky and not as productive!! Keep on keepin on....

Those sound like perfectly normal bedtimes for those ages. My dd is 3 1/2 and goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 (depending on whether or not she takes a nap) and my ds is 6 1/2 and goes to bed by 8:30 on school nights. My kids are usually up by 7 or so (not by my choice though). What does your husband thing are reasonable bedtimes? 10pm? That's pretty outrageous for a regular bedtime - I'm not saying my kids don't stay up late sometimes, but I think you're on the right track for a regular bedtime.

I agree with the gal that responded before me. Bedtimes are really a personal choice within the family. I personally think 7:30 is awfully early for bedtime. I am sorry to hear about your pending divorce, but I am also glad to hear that you are taking the bull by it's horns! It will not be an easy road, but I would like to share some divorcee co-parenting advice. My ex and I divorced when my oldest was 4. My son lives with my ex. The first few years were filled with bitterness, hate, on and on. We have become "friends" again, and have joined a united front when it comes to raising our son. It became very apparent that our son had learned how to manipulate us my playing us against each other. Daddy's girlfriend was mean, Mommy's husband was mean, grandma save me! I was finally able to convince my ex he was using it to his advantage. Now, we tackle all issues with our son together. That way we both know exactly what is going on. His happiness and attitude changed greatly. There are still times when we disagree, and we do not have the same parenting ideas by any means, but co-parenting definitely runs smoother when we are friends.

My kids get up at 7am every morning. My son (18 months old) goes to bed between 8:15 - 8:30pm. When he was younger, it was between 7:45 - 8:00pm. My daughter (3 years old) and goes to bed between 8:45 - 9:00pm. They both still gets naps. And every child is different. Most kids need at least 10 hours of sleep every night. Even if they get a nap in the afternoon. Do your kids seem very tired and cranky in the mornings? (I am very sorry to hear about the divorce...I hope for the best!)

You are right. Kids need around 12 hours of sleep. Period.

On weekends I let them stay up a little later, but they also get to sleep in a little later, so they are still getting their needed sleep. As they get older, the bedtime will naturally get later as their schedules get more hectic & homework becomes more of an issue.

God bless you and give you strength!

My 4 & 6 yr old start getting ready for bed around 8.

you're right. And, really any bedtime is reasonable when you look at when they have to get up & knowing that they need 12 hours of sleep that young. I have friends that work late, so their kids go to bed later, but also can sleep later.

Good luck, C.

I totally agree with you and I'm sure your pediatrician does too. Would your soon to be ex be willing to talk to your pediatrician and listen to their advice? As a mother of three an educator I believe it is important to have children on routine bedtime (and daytime) schedules. It benefits them in so many ways. Children are more secure and tend to do better in school with more sleep and security at home. If you get them into a good sleep routine now, it will be a snap when your children reach school age. Good luck and stick to your guns! Debbie

Since Daylight Savings things have been a little wonky here, but usually I'll would get my 2 year old into bed by 8 and she would wake at at 6:30 to 7 (she wakes on her own). She usually gets 11 to 12 hours a night. At the moment we're trying to find the right times again. If I put her to bed too early she wakes too early for me and if I put her down too late then she wakes too late and messes up nap time.

All in all, shes needs at least 11 hours.

You are definately on the right track. And, if your children seem better rested in the morning after getting to bed earlier, then you know that they are getting the sleep they need. As they get older, you will notice the one child may need more or less sleep than the others, but still, you aren't hurting them any by getting them to bed early. It could be that your husband is one of those who doesn't require a lot of sleep and so he sees it as just a waste of time or being lazy. But, you are correct; children do need a lot more sleep than we usually allow them to get!

Sorry about your divorce. My prayers are with you!

Hi K.,

First off, so sorry about the divorce. Hope you are hanging in there!
As for bedtimes, I have a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old. They both go to bed between 7:30 and 8:00. I think you are absolutely right about that being reasonable!!!
Good luck with everything!

K.,

You are there mother and mother's (not to mention experts) know when it is there bedtime. I have a 3 month old and she takes her bath at 7 eats gets a clean diaper, eats again (we are breast feeding and it calms her down to eat right before bed) and her bedtime is 8:00. Your husband is wrong on that one (and probably many other things if he is anything like my ex) You are doing the right thing. Have faith in your decisions and trust yourself, and stick to your guns. Mommie's always know. (We have to teach the father's)

Good luck,

M.

So sorry to hear of your situation with the divorce.

Regarding bedtimes, I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. They get up around 6:30 a.m. (a little earlier than that is better, but need to be up by then to go next door to sitter's at 7:00.

That being said - and now that daylight savings time isn't in effect, we shoot for 8:00-8:30 with the 5 year old, and the 2 year old about 8:00. Seems like anything less than that, they're cranky the next day.

Sounds like we're in agreement on time frames!

For what it's worth - and GOOD LUCK! (and many prayers to you too!!)

My son is 8 and goes to bed at 8:15, is asleep by 8:45 or 9:00. As an infant he went to sleep at 6:30 or 7:00, same as when he was a toddler. Every kid is different, but why not ask your dr.? 10:00 seems way too late for any of the kids, unless they get up every day at 9:00 am. How hard is it to wke them up after a week of staying up like that? If it's a big struggle, then they're not sleeping enough.

hello, glad to let you know that i have a 26 month old & an 11 week old. our toddler goes to bed at 8 p.m. & sleeps until 7 a.m. & our baby goes to bed at 8 p.m. & wakes up to be fed once or twice a night, but sleeps until 8 a.m. we start bath time around 7:20. i actually have a friend who puts her 3 kids down even earlier (they are 5, 3, & 1 yo).
i'm sorry to hear about your divorce. i can't imagine what you're going through...but glad that you are leaning on god; he will see you through for sure.
-H.

Sleep experts all agree that until age 5, the best bedtime is between 6:30 and 8:00. Good Luck:)

K., So sorry to hear of your situation, but you're right...God is good and he will get you through!

7:30 - 8:30 is a PERFECT bed time for your children. I have a three year old and her bed time has been 7:30-8:30 ever since we got her on a routine sleep schedule which was at about four months old. She gets up at 7:00am just about every day! Plus another benefit of putting your children to bed so early is that you get a little down time for yourself...which you need!! Hope that helps. Good Luck!
D.

I am sorry to hear about your divorce but it sounds like you are gong to come out on top! As for bedtimes, i have a 10 month old son and a 3 year old daughter My son goes to bed by 8 (at the latest) and my daughter is in bed between 830-9 everynight. I too work full time and understand that the little people need a little extra sleep when their schedules are so set. best of luck to you;)

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce but it sounds like you have it together and that you are a very strong woman so good luck to you and you definetly doing the right thing about getting your kids to bed on time so they get their rest as well as you.

My 2 1/2 year old daughter goes to bed at 8 pm. This is a recent change from 7 pm. She's up at 6 am and takes a 2-3 hour nap daily. She took two 2 hour naps daily until well after her 2nd birthday. I backup the opinions that toddlers need 12-14 hours sleep daily.

My son will be 3 in January. He goes to bed between 8 and 8:15 each night. My daughter will be 1 in January. She goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00. The children get up between 7 and 7:30. My daughter takes two one hour naps each day and my son takes one hour to hour and a half nap each afternoon.

You are right on this one!!!! I have two girls that are 4 and 9 and they go to bed at 8. Though my brothers kids that are younger then my girls go to bed at 7:30 and 8 being the latest. If my kids do not get that sleep then they are cranky and hard to deal with the next day. Kids sleep is very important. I also have this same problem when my daughter goes and stay and her dads house. Keep up the good work!!!! I admire you. I have been in your shoes before!!!

My 2 yr old goes down between 7:30 and 8 and my 9yr old goes down around 9. We have to get up at 7. I believe what you are doing is right, but what is important that you believe it is right! A mother's instinct is the best! Good luck sticking to your guns! Sorry to hear about the divorce, but it sounds like you are doing well for yourself! Keep you head held high!

Way to go, K.! I'm glad that you are hanging onto God and that He is a real power in your life. I'm sorry about the divorce.

Our first baby was a night owl when he was little (9-15mo old) and often went to bed around 10 PM. I was a stay at home mom and he could sleep in until he was ready to get up. When my guys started school, their bedtime was 7 PM sharp ok, sometimes they wouldn't go to sleep right away and had to be reminded for 30 min or so to go to sleep. If our boys had to be up and ready to go when your little one does, they would have been in bed much earlier. Yes, by 7 or 8 at the latest. They do need about 10-12 hrs of sleep a night when they are little. Stick to your guns, K.. I'm glad that you have custody of the kids. Stay close to Jesus and don't get too busy to spend time with God every day. You need it for the power and strength that He gives. God bless you and your babies.

Carol B

Hi K.,

I am sorry to hear about your divorce. You and the kids are in my prayers.

I just wanted to respond to you about the bedtime issue. I think you are completely correct. Kids that small definitely need their sleep. I think the time you are putting them to bed is very sensible. Studies actually show babies need 9-12 hours and toddlers can sleep between 8 to 16 hrs (with 12 being average).

I have 4 kids; 2 boys now 16 & 15, and 2 girls 8 & 7. I have kept them on a schedule since day one. It's good for them, and for you. I work full time too, so it helps to have things in order. It also helps me to have some down time for myself before I pass out and we start over the next day. I have been married for 17 years, so I had our first really quickly. I actually learned about keeping the kids on a schedule from my mother, because she kept us (I'm 36 and my mom had 5 girls) on one when we were growing up.

When my boys were little, the very lastest the would go to bed was 8pm. As they got older approx. 13 it changed to 8:30.
During school, even now with the boys being 16 & 15, their bedtime is 9:30 due to they have to be at school so early. The are up at 6am getting ready to leave for school. I notice a big difference when they don't get their rest. Now in the summer time since they are older, I allow them to go to bed whenever unless we have something planned early the next day.

With the girls who are still only 8&7, their bedtime is 8pm no later than 8:30. In the summer I will allow 9:30 maybe 10:00, but that is only because they don't have anywhere to go. If they were in daycare, (like my boys were when they were that age) then summer or not it would be 8pm.

All that to say, I think you are doing a wonderful job. Sometimes, MOM doesn't always knows best, but in this case. "YES YOU DO"!! smile

Stay encouraged and keep up the good work!!

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. You will get through it - be strong and positive for your kids.
As far as bedtimes. All 3 of my kids (16 mos, 3 1/2 yrs, 6 yrs, are in bed by 7:30 the latest! My youngest is in bed by 6, 6:30 the latest and sleeps until 7AM. She only takes a 1 1/2-2 hour nap in the day, but babies need at least 14-16 hours and your toddler needs at least 12 hours. My 6 year old works best with 12 hours, but can function o.k. with 11. I'm amazed how many kids I see out after 9 and 10:00. Rule of thumb - if you have to wake them in the morning for work or school, they've gone to bed too late! When I worked, my 2 year old went to bed at 6PM and woke at 6AM, I never once had to wake her up, it's one less thing to stress about!
My philosophy - sleep would be the best gift someone could give me, why don't we give that gift to our children? And why is staying up a luxury? It should be a punishment.

Good luck with everything!!

K. - I put my kids to bed early too; b/c like you, I work full time and have to get them up early in the morning. My oldest (3) goes to bed between 8:00 and 8:30 (some rare weekends, we'll let her stay up a little later -- like 9:00 -- but that is rare and on the weekend so she can get some more sleep if needed while at home); and my youngest (15-months) goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:00. My youngest only gets one nap at the babysitter's during the week. We usually put her down for two naps on the weekend; then she goes to bed around 7:00. You're right, it is VERY important that your children get enough sleep!!! Personally, I feel you are giving your child a disadvantage if you let them stay up late and sleep in the mornings. What are they going to do when school starts and they have to get up early? Regardless, I think you have the right parenting idea (not your husband). GOOD LUCK (and I'm sorry that this was not a mutual wanting of a divorce!).

I am sorry about your recent news of your divorce. Remember His hands are in it. It is great that you have faith and I pray that you have a church body that you can go to when you get down! God has a plan much bigger than you could make for yourself and your soon-to-be-ex may have been holding you back. Just keep your eyes set high. Back to the point of your note...I have a nine month old baby boy. He takes his evening bottle at 7:30 and is asleep by 8pm. He wakes up around 7 am. He may get slightly off schedule on the weekends, but he adapts well. And he takes 2 to 3 naps during the day which add a couple more hours of sleep to his day. I see nothing wrong with your schedule. God bless you and your children!

So sorry to hear about your divorce. You are right on track with bedtime though. I wonder if you've noticed a difference in your children since you changed their bedtime.

I too work and get my daughter out of bed around 6:30 a.m. as well. She normally goes to bed around 8:30 to 9:00. She takes one to two naps a day and I think this is sufficient. I truly think this is sufficient. Of course, I am a first time mother, so I am not sure what the other mothers may thing. May your ex-husband be overly critical. We have a difficult job to do, but I find that regardless people will find things to critize. Hang in there! God bless you and your children.

Of course those are reasonable bedtimes!

K.,
Congratulations to you! Moving up bedtime is difficult but necessary. You are correct. Children need tons of sleep. Mine are now 3, 6, and 9 and they all go to bed on school nights at 7:30 as we are also up at 6:30 a.m. Keep up the good work and so sorry to hear about your divorce. God bless you! L.

You are totally in the right here sister!! Young children need about 10-12 hrs of sleep total with naps included. My own 4 1/2 and 22 month old go to bed between 8 and 8:30 and are up between 7:30 and 8. Your husband, from what it sounds, is lashing out because he is hurting, confused. Be firm and stand up for your kids. My heart and prayers go out to you.

K.-
First of all I am sorry to hear about your divorce! I am sure it is very hard for you, especially since it is not mutual. Know that you are a wonderful mother, and deserve better. It will be his loss in the end! On the bedtime issue. I have 4 year old twin boys and their bedtime is 7:30 on the days they have preschool. And 8:00-8:30 on other days. I think children, especially small children should be in bed by 8:30-9:00 at the latest! It is good to try and keep this routine as you are doing. 10:00-11:00 going to bed is way to late for a child, especially if you have to wake them up early the next morning! Children need at least 10 good hours of sleep. Us mothers know how cranky our little ones will get without much sleep! Plus we need some time to ourselves to unwind, take a shower, just take a break from the day. Being a mother is the hardest and most rewarding job there is! You are definetely in the right, keep up the good work and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!

IN my opinion that is a good time for them to be going to bed,most kids take an hour or so to settle down anyway so no it is not too early..