My daughter is now 4 weeks old and she will not sleep on her back. After many, many nights of relentless crying, dozing, then waking up again screaming, I flipped her onto her stomach and ***ZONK*** lights out! She slept like a log for 3 hours straight. I have researched and understand the risk of SIDS with belly sleeping infants, but I need to know if I'm the only one who has experienced this!!! I don't want to be called a "bad mom" because I am putting her on her tummy, but I don't know what else to do. Every day I try her on her back, even after when she falls asleep in my arms, and she may sleep for at the most 10 minutes before waking up screaming. Swaddling, rocking, music, you name it, nothing can keep her in asleep on her back. Forget me even putting her in her crib on her back while she's awake! Even when she falls asleep on her tummy and I roll her to her back, she always wakes up. My fear of SIDS has been overridden at this point by us, and her, needing sleep. Has anyone else experienced this? I don't know what to do, I obviously don't want to jeopardize her health, but regardless of the sleep position, there is still a risk of SIDS. What do I do?
Thank you all so much for your honest advice. Being a first time mother is not easy, especially when you have so many opinions on what the best way is to raise your child! Yet I am realizing that being a mother does not mean that I have to “go by the book” in everything that I do with taking care of my daughter. After discussing this issue extensively with my husband, we both agreed that we would let her sleep on her tummy if that’s what she wants to do. She sleeps in a crib in the room with us (with no blankets or stuffed animals, just a crib sheet) and we feel like between the two of us, she is pretty well monitored throughout the night. Since last week, we have been letting her sleep on her tummy and she is sleeping so much better, it’s actually still hard for us to believe. We thought at one point we had a colic-y baby, but I think it was her sleep position that was causing her so much distress! At her next ped appointment we are going to talk to our doctor about this and get his opinion on the subject, but what’s most important is that I now no longer feel like a black sheep! I now realize that there are plenty of us out there that all have the same experiences and that makes me feel so much better. Thanks again!
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S.R.
answers from
Tampa
on
Marie, I also went thru this, my 1 st son pretty much required it for sleep, and my 2nd it was actually recommended by his GI dr because of his SEVERE reflux.... I cant tell you that it is the right thing to do, but I can tell you that you should do what feels right for you family. And I can give you a little advice on reducing the risk of SIDS. if she is going to be on her belly she needs to NOT have a blanket and NOTHING in the crib....just her and the crib sheet. Dress her in warmer clothes if you are worried about her being cold. And they also say that the use of a pacifier reduces the risk...so you might think about that as well. But seriously the crib needs to be empty.
Good luck
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B.S.
answers from
Lakeland
on
I had the same thing happen with my daughter. The first several nights we were home, I had a csection so I slept in the recliner and she slept on my chest on her tummy. When things went back to normal She would not sleep no more than a few minutes at a time. I went almost 2 months with no sleep. I also have a son 4 years older, so finally one night I for whatever reason laid her on tummy out she was... I stayed up all night that night watching her( although when I had my son he slept on his belly & that was normal then & ok) She did fine, by the next night I was so tired I was out right along with her. She never had a problem sleeping again. I kept her basinet right next to my bed so I could roll over and feel her breath and then when she went into a crib I did the same. I would never think anyone was a bad parent for letting their baby sleep on their tummy. My personal opinion on that subject is the that the it is the opinion of the researchers who do these studies. They now say that it is a chemical imbalance that causes SIDS. I would lay her on her belly, watch her closly through the nights and get some sleep...Hope this helps.
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N.R.
answers from
Lakeland
on
Maybe you can try one of those wedges that have two wedges connected with a small piece of fabric that velcros to the underside of the wedges - so that you can position the wedges for the most comfort - and it holds the baby on their side. They also have a wedge that you can put under the fitted sheet, so that when the baby is on their back, they are ever so slightly elevated -the wedges worked for my daughter when she was in the basinett, and the big wedge in her crib. Good luck!
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L.K.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hello Marie,
I got three kids 15 mos, almost 3 and an 8yr old. They all slept better on their stomachs. With my first child I forced him to sleep on his side and back for the first six months and my husband and I were a wreck from lack of sleep and I was still working with my first. It wasn't until he was about eight months old that I stopped fighting against it and just let him sleep on his stomach( he began sleeping through the night). Five years later I had our second and I fought her from not sleeping on her stomach but I learn a lot sooner just to let her be and sleep came much easier for us all. Then, with our third the first night we were home she cried and couldn't get comfortable until I laid her on her stomach..... I know, I know, THEY SAY "you shouldn't do this with a baby and you shouldn't do that with your baby, but I say follow your mommy sense and do what's best for you and your baby. My husband and I have a saying, "Whatever works best for your address." That could be allowing your baby to sleep in the bed with you until he or she is five, breastfeeding until three, potty training at four, whatever it may be just as long as your child(ren) is happy, healthy and thriving.
I hope this helps!
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T.A.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
My oldest daughter suffered with the colics. After a whole 4 months, I noticed that when I put her on her belly on my lap that she's stop crying and go to sleep. However, as soon as I put her in the crib on her back or sides, she'd wake up and scream at the top of her lungs. My decision was to allow her to sleep on her belly.
When my 2nd daughter was born, the same pattern seemed to be repeating but I allowed her to sleep on her belly within the first month, against researchers advices. All signs of colics went away when I did that. I did make sure that her crib had nothing that could cause her harm such as blankets, pillows, even the bumper for the crib.
Good luck with your little one. It will work out!
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A.G.
answers from
Tampa
on
Yes I did. There wasn't much sleeping going on by either my husband or me that first year. If only I knew then what I know now (and that doctors won't tell you). SIDS is not a worldwide problem, and wasn't always a problem here. It has been normal practice for generations to place babies to sleep on their stomachs. It's how I was put to bed, and probably how you were put to bed. Paren't in older generations didn't have to worry about their babies getting "flat heads" either, since what they were doing with us was both natural and appropriate. Think about it, why would sleeping on backs be best, if it can lead to a mis-shapen head?
It is my understanding that SIDS is far more prevalent in countries (such as ours) where it is now popular to put babies to bed on vinyl, or other impermiable barrier (as a convenience to the parent). In countries that don't do this, SIDS is virtually unheard of.
When a young infant sleeps on vinyl, it can be deadly when they are on their stomachs because it does not allow them to get sufficient oxygen. This is especially dangerous when they are just getting the strength to roll over on their tummies, but can't role back, so at some point, it is a danger for all babies who sleep on such surfaces. So much for convenience and cost savings.
There are options that are healthier, such as organic mattresses, with wool padding for a barrier (works fantastically). It's certainly better for babies to breathe through these natural fabrics versus inhaling toxic plastic fumes all night anyway.
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K.S.
answers from
Tampa
on
After my son's 2 month appointment he would have nothing to do with being swaddled and would only sleep on his belly. He begin to sleep in 7-8 hour stretches on his belly. I bought an Angel Care monitor that monitors breathing becuase I too was concerned about him sleeping on his tummy. With this monitor,an alarm goes off if movement is not detected for 10 seconds. My son is now 2 and he still sleeps on his belly. Good luck in making this decision.
K.
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S.A.
answers from
Naples
on
Hi Marie! Put your daughter on her tummy! I went through the same thing with my youngest son, talked to my DR and her said 'PUT HIM ON HIS TUMMY!' It is the only way he would sleep. My DR said not to worry about SIDS, if it is going to happen it will happen. Sounds harsh but he explained that there are cases of SIDS on tummy and back sleepers. Before they started doing all the research parents just put their babies to sleep how ever they would sleep. DON"T feel bad or guilty about it, I did at first too but after a couple nights of sleep i got over it! My son is now 5 and sleeps on his back..go figure! And as a tummy sleeper myself, well I understand the babies, there is NO way I could fall asleep on my back...unfortunatly they can't tell us this..they just wake up and cry!
Let both of you rest peacefully and let her sleep tummy style!
Good luck with everything!
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B.G.
answers from
Tampa
on
Both my girls were the exact same way from birth!! They are now 3 yrs old and 16 mos old...they still sleep on their tummies:) How strong is her neck? That is where the SIDS worry comes in. It is feared that they would not be strong enought to lift there head if they were face down. My girls had strong necks. They came out of the womb trying to lift their heads....not joking. My pediatrician said it was ok because their necks were so strong. He said it really was not a worry for me, him, or them. I have heard this from a lot of people, that their babies sleep best on their tummies.
When I was out and about the girls would sleep on their tummies in the strollers. Yes, lots of people would comment about how bad that was. I would smile and simply say thanks for the advice! You will run into lots of people that don't agree with your parenting, but as long as you believe you are right that is all that matters:)
Good luck to you and your precious little girl!
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T.O.
answers from
Sarasota
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Marie,
My boys are almost 4 and 6 now. I remember the worrying, the checking every five minutes, the lack of sleep. I empathize with you and the back-sleep issue. Neither of my boys would sleep more than 1/2 hour on their back unless they were sleeping literally on top of me or my husband. We used the pillow back positioners that held them in place and made them feel more like they were being held. That did help, but not for very long. Then they would sleep up to 3 hours. After they were several months old and rolled over on their own, they would roll onto their stomachs anyway. The 'back positioners' then became a smothering hazard on their own. So we had to stop using them.
I wish I could tell you YES you must or NO you can't. Unfortunately, as you will learn, there is little about being a parent that is really that black and white. There are risks in everything including allowing the baby to sleep on her belly. That being said, there are a lot of risks involved in being a parent that gets no sleep and is constantly frustrated and upset because things aren't working 'by the book.' You just have to learn, and believe, the mantra "I am doing the absolute best I can for myself and for this baby."
Your mommy instinct will tell you what works and what doesn't. No two babies are the same, so you just have to find out what works best for yours.
I wish you luck and lots of love from your wonderful new daughter!
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J.G.
answers from
Lakeland
on
Hi Marie,
I to was paranoid of SIDS. My son (now almost 4)was also a belly sleeper. Still is. There is so many opinions about what positions correct. I just made sure he was on a flat firm crib mattress and nothing in his crib with him he could put his face in. It is important for you and your daughter to rest. Hope this is somewhat comforting. Good Luck
J.
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K.H.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
my daughtesr are 8 and 10 and would NEVER sleep on their backs. i just made sure i didnt put ANYTHING else in the crib, and stayed clse by her for several weeks, after she could lift her head, i relaxed a little.
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C.M.
answers from
Tampa
on
You are not alone! When my 1st was born it was never put them to sleep on their back and he was just fine. With both my second and my third I had the same issue you are having. After nights without sleep I tried the stomach and they slept for 4 whole hours. I did make sure that I checked on them often.
I agree with the information below. I went to college for Child Development and they really don't know what causes SIDS but many countries have a much lower rate and they don't change their babies sleeping possition.
Sometimes being a sane and alert mom outways the stress for both you and baby.
Doctor's will give you lots of advice that you will find works or doesn't work. Figure out what works best for you. You will know your baby better than anyone else out there.
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E.N.
answers from
Chicago
on
Have you tried getting her to sleep on her left side? My son had an infant sleeper thing (from Babies-R-Us) that had bumpers on the sides to support him sleeping on his side without rolling to his front or his back. I've had several people say left side is best, as it allows gas to leave easily as well. My son loves sleeping on his side still at 5 months, whereas he will roll to his back and wake up almost instantly.
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B.L.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
I would go online to Walmart or Target and buy a Bebe Sounds monitor. It isn't super cheap but, it's worth every penny. I measures the breathing pattern of the infant and if at any time doesn't pick up the breathing pattern a very loud alarm will sound. I used it for my son who was a premee and was in the NICU for the first 2 wks of his life. He would literally forget to stop breathing which is one of the reasons he was in the NICU... when we brought him home I was terrified and couldn't sleep. This monitor gave me such piece of mind. It actually went off a few time at first and we took him back in to the hospital. I would invest in this... My son is 15months old now and I STILL use it. You WILL get your moneys worth!
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S.V.
answers from
Tampa
on
Marie -
I may get slammed here - but I am the mom of 3 with #4 on the way, my oldest is 14 years, my youngest (until Oct) is 3 years. All of my children were belly sleepers as babies. It was the only way they would sleep. With my oldest it wasn't made into a big deal - in fact then they only wanted them to sleep on their sides, not their back.
The main thing is to make sure their mattress is not too soft, as well as their pad. I would not let her sleep on her tummy on your bed - as most of our beds now have "pillow tops" and extra padding. Make sure you are not using the crib comforter or any pillows in the crib or even stuffed animals. she is not moving around too much now, but she will. some people even say to remove the bumper in the crib, incase they get stuck close to that.
I never used a swing with any of my babies - but I saw one that rocks side to side and added it to my registry this time - If you are so worried that you are not sleeping - I know many babies that take their naps and even sleep all night in their swing or the papoose one too. I guess that would be an option?
I look forward to seeing what responses you get and the best of luck!
S.
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N.B.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
Marie, my son would not sleep on his back either. I would place in in his crib on his back and in twenty min he was on his tummy. Yes it is scary the possibility of SIDS! but no matter what I did he would roll to his tummy. I figured if he could roll he would be ok. good luck
N.
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B.H.
answers from
Orlando
on
Marie..I have a 41/2 month baby girl and am having the same problem..I have also tryed everything..during the day i have her on her belly but am always watching her.I am so scared sometimes but dont know what else to do..she will sleep in her swing maybe 30 mins but forget the back at night..I have ended up sleeping with her sometimes on my belly which gives me no sleep and i know thats not safe either..The doctors say ** on the back tell one** so does that mean no one sleeps tell then?not healthy for the baby or us..My grandma says when all hers were born was always NEVER put them on there backs..I just dont know.thought was just my baby...Am a single mom living with mother..HELP..
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S.S.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
Advice is, if it works then let your daughter sleep. My son has been sleeping on his stomach since he was 3 days old. Our ped said that the studies that they did with SIDS were done in colder climates where the cribs has blankets, etc. in them. He said in FLA you need not worry. Just keep checking on her if you are worried. My son is now 21 months old and still sleeps best on his stomach.
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J.C.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
I did not experience this with my three children, however my daughter was almost a SIDS baby. Luckily she stopped breathing while sleeping in the hospital and not at home. We had her on an apnea monitor for 6 months to ensure that we would know if she stopped breathing again. My point in telling you this, is that after paying thousands of dollars to rent this monitor I found a far less expensive solution at Babies R Us. There is a monitor that you can put under your babies mattress in the crib that will alarm if the baby is motionless (stops breathing, moving, etc. ) for longer than 30 seconds I believe. The cost is about $100. This might give you peace of mind and allow you to sleep while the baby is sleeping.
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K.C.
answers from
Tampa
on
I agree with all the other things that you should try.....My son had a really hard time sleeping the "right" way when he was an infant as well. I talked to his pediatrican and he suggested several solutions....including many that have already been listed, but in the end, we found that he also slept best in his CARSEAT! So to get him to fall asleep, I would drive around the neighborhood, circling, until he fell asleep. When he did fall asleep, we would leave him in the carseat. I realize NOW that seems silly, but at the time, being sleep deprived, it seemed genious:)
What I am getting at, is that there are other options, but remeber one thing: Our parents put US to sleep on our bellies b/c back then THAT was the right way to sleep....and maybe in another 15 years they will find a different right way to sleep.....
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S.Y.
answers from
Tampa
on
Both my kids would not sleep on their backs. I tried the pillows to prop them on their sides, nothing worked so I just gave in. They are now 12 and 7 and have had no ill effects from getting the sleep they would not have gotten had I forced them to sleep on their backs. I also nursed so they would wake up every two or three hours anyway. Good luck with what ever you do.
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J.O.
answers from
Tampa
on
Who really knows the real cause of SIDS but people didn't start putting babies on their backs until recently. Ask your doctor but if she's not sleeping any other way...If worried you can try letting her sleep in one of those table top bouncy chairs that cradle her body. My son slept in that his first four mos. of life and that worked great.
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M.P.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi. I had this same issue. My first daughter was the same way but I insisted she sleep on her back b/c I was a first time mom and b/c that was what I was supposed to do. I had MANY sleepless nights. Then, daughter #2 came along and I was more relaxed. She was the same way and I just let her be. I put her down on her belly. I made sure she wasn't overheated etc and that no blankets or anything else was in her crib. She slept through the night so much earlier. Hard call.... I know how you feel. Good luck making your decision.
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P.N.
answers from
Tampa
on
My son slept on his back and he is fine. He had to starting out, because he had jaundice really bad and was in one of those biliruben light suitcases where the light had to hit him on his back. Transitioning afterwards was a) to hard and b) not safe. The risk of SIDS actually increases when you switch the position. Pick one and stick to it. What you can do is decrease other risk factor such as No Smoking, don't let anyone who holds you child wear a shirt that was worn while smoking.
Something to think about, they keep switching the "safe" position. Sure there is an increased risk of SIDS while sleeping on their bellies, but on their backs their is an increased risk of aspiration. Aspiration can occur is an infant on their back spits up and swallows it.
Studies keep popping up trying to explain SIDS. One highlights higher level of Serotonin in children who die of SIDS (serotonin (sp) has something to do with brain activitiy level). Others are showing that it could possibly be a viral strand that is causing it. The researchers just don't know. While the numbers have decreased with Back to Sleep, they have not stopped.
You have to do what you feel is right for your baby. You might consider letting her sleep in her swing or carrier.
Get some sleep
P.
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C.B.
answers from
Tampa
on
Good Morning Marie,
I am a stay at home mom of 4 little ones, My first daughter had no problem with the whold back sleeping etc.. When my son came along, I found myslef in the same position as you... He could be asleeep with my girl freind holding him ( they had a special bond) then whenever I would go put him in his crib he would wake up almost instantly I spent a lot of long nights with him sleeping in his swing.. One night I put him on his belly and its been history since, I say let her be she has found what is comfortable for her you are aware of sids, I don't think you have a lot to worry about, be causious and check on her but I think you are fine and will find some peace in being able to get a few uninterupted hours (if possible;) ).... Also my twin boys just turned 1 but almost since they came home from the NICU they have been on their belly... Thats what they like and they sleep best... Keep your eyes and ears open but I say let her be... And NO You are not the only one, I know sooo many,
Best of luck to you I hope that helps a little ;)
~Blessings
C.
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A.G.
answers from
Punta Gorda
on
My girls are 10 & 12 and both slept on there stomach. My pediatrician said turn the volume up on the monitor and be aware that she is breathing.
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M.L.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi Marie,
I went through the first thing with my first born son two years ago. At about 5 weeks was when we went to him sleeping on his belly. We started at nap times (so I could check on him repeatedly) and then overnight and by 6 1/2 weeks he was sleeping 8 hours instead of 1 1/2 hours at a time. In the beginning I was totally freaked out as well due to the risk of SIDS, but he is 2 now and totally fine. Also, by the time they start rolling they will roll to whatever side they prefer. I am the oldest of six and my mom had us all sleep on our bellies and we are fine. Just make sure to keep no stuffed animals or such in the bed with her.
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C.F.
answers from
Tampa
on
An article in the Tampa Tribune several weeks ago stated the newest studies of infants that have died from SIDs have too much Serotonin in their systems. If a child has too much Serotonin, it really doesn't matter HOW they are sleeping.... they will stop breathing regardless, as it sort of shuts down their systems and puts them into a coma-like state. But I know how this goes. I was a paranoid first time mom once too. I would stare at my son sleeping for the first two months of his life. I also work in a daycare, and although the policy is "back sleeping is best" with the State of Fl Childcare Licensing, we've had several tummy sleepers, and babies who become tummy sleepers all on their own once they learn to flip/roll. I think the major worry is that newborns don't have the strength to roll or even lift their heads, and that is why they are thought to suffocate.
I wouldn't worry too much in the early months--my son took his naps in his swing for the first 3 months, cause he wouldn't sleep during the day unless being held. As he got older, I got him sleeping in his crib, so they outgrow the things they do early in life. Babies are good about picking up new habits, if we have the patience to teach them. Enjoy your little tummy sleeper. :)
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A.T.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
Marie ~
Take a DEEP breath! My children refused to sleep on their backs. They slept on their little bellies throughout.
Making sure that your little one has eaten and been properly burped before you allow for her to fall asleep will help ensure that she is comfortable.
Make sure there are NO stuffed animals, including 'cute little blankets' with things attached to them. No crocheted blankets. A sheet should be suffice enough for covering, especially if you are clothing her in warm pj's.
Covering her up to the waist, instead of all the way up to her neck and/or shoulders could also help in making sure her blanket gets no where near her face.
Another precaution you should consider would be that of the bed crib sheet and crib covering under neath - make sure they are tightly secured around each corner and each of the four sides of the mattress. Always going in and making sure the bumper is securely tied to the crib and the sheets are flat and un-wrinkled before lying her down is a really good idea.
I hope this has helped you! I understand the fear you are feeling; being a new mother can bring several fears of the unknown right to the fore front of your mind each and every day. Have faith that you are doing what is best for your daughter, in all aspects, and you will begin to find peace in your heart, knowing that she is comfortable and safe.
Take care & God Bless you and your family!
~ A. T. ~ =)
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K.S.
answers from
Tampa
on
HI-
We ewnt through the same thing, although my son was a bit older when he was wanting to sleep on his stomach. I didn't do it, but have seen a sleep motion monitor/detector for sale, which seems to detect even the slightest movements they make, like their breathing & it will alarm when you there isn't any movements for like 20 seconds. Here is a link to it for a relatively inexpensive price. Your piece of mind & good rest are priceless, so check it out. I know of a friend who ordered it after having a preemie who had to be on ll kinds of monitors once at home & this gave them a lot of peace!
My pediatrician actually told me to sleep her on her stomach. There is a lot of mixed emotion on the whole topic. Back sleepers can choke on spit-up in their sleep. Belly sleepers can suffocate. Side sleepers can roll and get caught under this or that. My feelings... if it allows my baby to sleep, she wakes up on a regular feeding schedule, and I monitor her as best as possible... it's fine.
Relax. Just keep an eye on her. My belly sleeper is a happy, healthy 2.5 year old who sleeps on her side now. Good luck.
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B.H.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi. I have not experienced this but my cousin has. Her second child (born earlier this yr) would not sleep on her back either. My cousin had to bring the baby to the hospital for an infection at a month or two old. The hospital made my cousin sign a liability release form due to the fact that Brianna was sleeping on her stomach. Otherwise, Brianna has been very happy since stomach sleeping began. Hope this helps.
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S.D.
answers from
Lakeland
on
I am a Grandma but have some experience in what you are talking about.
My 2 girls both were like that. I laih tnem on their stomach making sire there was nothing aroind the coild cuddle ip to & suffacate. They are both grown, have families of their own and are smart well adjusted people. I, myself, was always like that & there were no problems. Ince I had neck injuries I had to learn to sleep on my back. It was horrible and I haven't had a good secire and deep sleep since.
S.
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J.W.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
Marie, my daughter is 11 months old now, and has only slept on her belly. She did the same exact thing as your daughter. We would try everything to get her to sleep on her back, and at first it worked with her on her side, but the belly is what did the trick. You are not a bad mom for letting her sleep that way. I felt a lot better when I watched my daughter pick up her head and turn it from side to side. That way you knew that she could move it if she had to, and never once did she bury her face down. Good luck and congratulations!!
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P.C.
answers from
Tampa
on
Try swaddling. Mine were very much like yours and the only way I could get them to sleep on their back (I have twins) was to swaddle them. The problem is they feel like they are falling when they are on their back and when on their tummy they done feel that way. If you watch them sleep on their backs you can see them jerk and usually wake up because of it. Their nervous systems are immature. On their tummies it doesn't happen.
I used the miracle blanket but I did not use the arm holders. Just google miracle blanket and there is a video of how it works and you will know what I mean about the arm holders.
However once mine had good neck muscles build I napped them on their tummies (so I could check on them often) then when they were able to roll on their own I started putting them down on their tummy whenever they went down.
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P.V.
answers from
Tampa
on
Personally, I would say just keep trying. I know consistency can be a problem and you just may have to wear her down. I would not risk the SIDS issue. Time will allow this to work.
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S.B.
answers from
Tampa
on
My son did the same & I was so scared Ihad him sleep on my chest or sitting upright (sort of) in a papasan or in a sling... he also had reflux & colic (so he/we needed sleep :) He slept on me & the chair for the first 5 or so months & is now 13 months & now is fine! Now he'll even sleep on his back!
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J.S.
answers from
Lakeland
on
I too was so afraid of SIDS but both of my children would only seep on their backs. I ended up just letting them sleep on their stomachs and all turned out fine. This is just what I did, and my experience. I am not trying to tell you which decision to make, that is something you would have to weigh on your own.
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S.M.
answers from
Sarasota
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Hi Marie,
My daughter is now 16 years old and she was a belly sleeper. At the time, we knew about SIDS, but went through what you are describing and decided we couldn't last another day without sleep. All went perfectly fine.
She also cried and cried in the car with the carseat facing backward. It got to a point where I was paralyzed to leave the house. I put the carseat in the house and thought I could get her used to the seat, but she never cried in the house. After 5 months, and again, not being able to cope, I turned her carseat around just to see if it made a difference. Well, she didn't cry. Even though she wasn't the recommended weight to forward face, we did. To this day, she gets carsick.
I say, if you tried all things, including buying the wedge to keep the baby on her side (a compromise), then let her sleep on her belly. She needs that sleep as much as you do.
S. in Sarasota, FL
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C.A.
answers from
Tampa
on
Is she spitting up alot? Restless and figgity when on her back? Or arching her back and screaming? There may be something else going on with her. I have 6 week old triplets and they have acid reflux which is very uncomfortable. The symptoms intesify when laying on their backs. My 3 year old also had it and it went undiagnosed for a couple of months. The only way she was comfortable was on her stomach. The triplets are currently sleeping in their bouncy chairs because that is the only way I can get them to sleep. They like their stomach too, but I'm too scared of SIDS to flip them yet. I hope you can get some rest! I know how hard it is without sleep as a new mom :)
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C.C.
answers from
Tampa
on
I had this problem with my son and I put him on his belly from the very beginning. He is 9 years old now and still sleeps on his belly. I understood the fear of SIDS as well, but year after year things have changed from when to start feeding them food and how to put them to sleep. I am a believer in what works for you and the child. Just make sure not to put many blankets or other things around your daughter while she sleeps, and you could always try to prop her on her side wiht a rolled up blanket behind her. Hope this helps.
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B.H.
answers from
Lakeland
on
With 2 kids, both were belly sleepers. I slept on my tummy as an infant and so did both my sisters. My husband slept on his tummy as did his brother. The experts say to put them on their back, but as a mother, you have to do what you feel is best. I put mine on their tummy's but wouldn't put anything around them such as blankets and stuffed animals, when they were too young to roll over. When they get older, and can roll over and do what they want, I used a blanket and stuffed animals, but just one animal. Just use common sense and you will be fine.
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L.C.
answers from
Tampa
on
Neither of my children would sleep on their backs. My daughter, our first child, I was the typical first time mom and everything had to be just by the book.. let me tell you, until she was 8 months old she never slept more than 45 minutes to 1 hour at a time because she was just miserable on her back. We tried her side as a compromise which worked better, but not fantastically. By the time my second child, my son, was born I was over trying to fight my children - they know what they need. We started him on his side but he'd always manage to his stomach. I was petrified because boys have a higher rate of sids and we had just lost a friend's 10 week old son to SIDS. We had a very long and frank discussion with our pediatrician, we also co-slept with both kids, and we decided that letting him sleep on his stomach was best for us. I recommend you have a candid discussion with your pediatrician who should be your trusted advisor where your children are concerned. There is a risk of SIDS regardless of whether you follow the rules. No one knows what from or why these children die, science is guessing.
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T.A.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi i saw you have 50 responses but i can def relate both my sons were belly sleepers & wouldnt sleep any other way. First id like to say go with your instinct, but i would roll a recieving blanket and wedge it under thier side so they were on their stomac (half-way) but never really flat. It works best if they have good neck muscles. Its when they cant really pick thier heads up on thier own it becomes a real concern! My boys are 1 & 6 now and my baby sleeps on a full size pillow for months, he hates being flat.
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D.T.
answers from
Tampa
on
Both of my children, a 3 1/2 year old son and my 1 year old daughter were both belly sleepers from the beginning. I can't say I slept sound through the night, I was always putting my ear next to the monitor because I too knew of the SIDS risk. That was the only way they would sleep though. I agree with most everyone here that just keep blankets and stuffed toys out of the crib, make sure there is no bumper guard and that the sheet is fitted tight. I say let them do what they are most comfortable doing!
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H.B.
answers from
Tampa
on
I can totally understand your frustration and how tiring it must be trying to get yor daughter to sleep, I've been there. Despite all of that, I would not choose to put my newborn at risk. The way I see it, is if she were to die of asphyxia after having been put to sleep on her belly, how would you ever forgive yourself? How could you not say that it could have been prevented? And although SIDS could happen otherwise, it would always be in your head that it was more probable due to her unsafe sleeping position. The recommendation for putting babies to bed on their backs isnt just a hunch or passing thought, it is backed by LOADS of research and documentation about safety. You could liken it to babies that hate car seats and scream when driving... do we just choose not to put them in a car seat? DO we say well, yes, the likelihood of death is greater, but I'll take my chances because it makes them happy?
She is only 4 weeks, give it some time.... her system is still developing and maturing and right now she still likes that cozy feeling of warmth and closeness (and may for a long time), but until she can roll on her own, she shouldn't be on her belly. From your post, I think you really already know that. I would continue to try other safe options, such as holding her on your chest for her daily naps, trying a swing or car seat in a reclined position so her head doesn't flop forward and her chin doesn't rest on her neck. Have her sleep closer to you in a co-sleeper or sidecar and have her feel your hand on you. Most newborns sleep far better closer to mom rather than in a crib, although there are exceptions. If you do want her to sleep on her belly, I would stay awake and watch her the entire time...take mommy/daddy shifts if necessary.....
Best wishes to finding a happy resolution for you all :-)
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A.E.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi Marie,
I had the same issue with both my kids...they both slept on their bellies and would wake up screaming if I put them on their backs (they would wake up screaming and not fall back to sleep). My kids were born big (9 pounds and more), so I felt that they were pretty sturdy. So, for my sanity and their sleep needs, I decided that I would not fight the belly preference. After all, when I was a baby, the correct way to put a baby to sleep was on the stomach. The medical advice changes constantly, and SIDS is not a very well-defined disease in the first place.
I just removed all other risks. No blankets or stuffed toys in the crib. And I would check on them every half hour during naps, and every 2 hours or so over night. They were able to roll over by themselves at like 2 or 3 months, and though I'd put them to sleep on their backs, they would immediately roll over onto their belly. They are now 4 and 1.5, walking and talking and developmentally right on. I think parents need to be flexible, follow their instincts and try to meet their baby's unique needs and preferences.
One other thing...co-sleeping is another controversial topic, but when breastfeeding it's a nice thing. In our bed, after nursing, my kids would fall asleep on their back or side, and I'd not bother putting them back in the crib.
Good luck!
A.
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A.V.
answers from
Tampa
on
Mine didn't wanted to sleep on their back either but when i put them on their side with a rolled blanket tight at their bellys so they could not roll on the belly, they did fine.
Good Luck !
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T.P.
answers from
Tampa
on
I haven't had experience with this but understand sleep deprivation. Have you tried swaddling her and sleeping her on her side, propped of course. This would seem to be middle ground between back or belly/sids risk!
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K.E.
answers from
Sarasota
on
I know that your got a lot of responses and it seems that you figured out what was best for your family. I'm a first time mom myself and my daugther is now almost 3. She was a belly sleeper from day one. She didn't like to be swaddled and when we brought her home from the hospital we didn't really know what to do because she wouldn't sleep. Our solution was for the first 4mths. she sleep either on my husbands chest or on mine. I was breastfeeding her so it was not so bad but we got to the point we could not do that any longer. I moved her to the crib and used one of those wedges after a while she got use to it but she wasn't sleeping as much as she should. At 4 1/2 mths. she learned to roll on to her stomach by herself. At that point there was nothing we could do. At night she would start out on her back and when we went to get her she was on her stomach. Her pediatrician at the time didn't really approve of her rolling to her stomach but how do you stop them. She is very healthy and till this day she always sleeps on her stomach. She did sleep with a pacifier and some reports I heard at the time thought that help with SIDS but who knows. It is all spectulation because they really don't know. I was scared as a first time mom about it but you also need to find out what works best for all of you. Only you know. Others can only advise. Just use the instincts that are given and you should be able to get through anything.
Your not alone!!! Good Luck!!!