Big Sister with a Baby Brother On-the-way!

My daughter and son are almost exactly 2 years apart. Even at age 2, she was very helpful... fetching diapers, bottles, virtually anything I asked her to help with. Baby brother was the entertainment my daughter had needed for months. They slept in the same bedroom until they were 7 and 5 and truly missed each other when we moved to a larger home where each had their own bedroom. The middle and high school years weren't so harmonious, but now that they're both in their late 20s, they've grown to appreciate and respect each other again.

Flat-out truth: no matter what you want, what you expect... your children will do what is in their nature to do....regardless of your wishes, prayers, & desires.

That said, the best way to foster sibling relationships is thru fairness & equality...not just from you, but from all involved. It does not matter whether the children are 16 months apart, 4 years apart, or 10 years in between. What matters is how you approach life & them. If you model the desired behavior, you may get what you want. BUT, not always. & you have to figure in the developmental differences thru the phases of life (teen years!). Peace!

Since my kids run girl, boy, girl,boy, I've got 2 pairs in that situation. Just involve your daughter as much as possible. My oldest could make bottles and change diapers before she was 4(that REALLY helped once the others came along!)My younger pair is closer age wise to your spacing, and they are joined at the hip,while to older two have more distance. I don't think you can really predict how their personalities will mesh yet. Congrats and good luck!

Congratulations! That is very exciting that your daughter is excited to have a little brother. I have a daughter and son with the daughter being the older one. My daughter was 3 in Feb and my son will be 2 in August so they are right around 19mths apart. When he was first born all she wanted to do is help with everything with him. I found it really helpful to get her a baby that you can change the diaper on and feed with a bottle because that worked out perfect. She felt like she was helping when I was doing anything with her brother. Now that they are older (I know not much older but their own people now) there are fights of course. All siblings have them. Mainly they like to play together. He wants to do everything she is doing. Sometimes that gets on her nerves but for the most part it works out well. He is in the "mine and no" phase so that gets to her as well because he tried to take things from her but all in all they are very close. They like to read/look at books together and do building blocks together. So far very close. He of course wants to do EVERYTHING his sissy is doing which makes it quite cute. I don't know if it is the boy/girl thing more than the age difference that makes things different with siblings. My brother and I are 5 years apart and we weren't THAT close growing up. I mean we were close but not best friend type close. Now, my husband has 4 brothers and the one that is 5 years older than him isn't nearly as close as the one that is 13mths apart from him. I guess only time with tell with your kiddos but so far with mine they are doing great! There is fighting and jealous moments but all in all they are GREAT FRIENDS! Good Luck to you and your family!

A.,
Congratulations! We were blessed with a little girl and my husband fully expected we would be blessed with soley girls, I think he almost fainted when we found out that a little boy would join our family! :-)
Mine are almost 3 years apart, now 5 and 2. They have a fabulous relationship, obviously they are not in their teens and time is still to come, but I truly don't think their dynamic will change much. Don't get me wrong, they have disagreements, but not many. One of the greatest pieces of advice I got when I became pregnant with my little guy...Don't make her a Mommy. Another words, don't ask her to fetch every little thing for him or for you for him. The approach I took was if she directly asked to pick out his clothes, I allowed her too. But I never asked her to get anything, even as simple as a diaper for him. I had complete buy in to this advice as I am the oldest and what I was told made since...If you make her feel like a Mommy now, she will always consider herself in charge of what he is doing, etc. UGH, that hit home! ;-)
I wish you well and trust yourself, allow your kids to be who they are and they will do great! Oh, maybe check into the book Siblings Without Rivalery. Awesome book! Hard to implement concepts with an infant, but great knowledge!
Wishing you the best, J.

I have a five year old girl and her little brother is 10 months younger. She watches out for him and although they may fight she does not let anyone else yell at him. Anytime he gets in trouble she waits and watches to comfort him and make sure everyone else is nice to him. My biggest problem is actually getting them to seperate from each other. Good Luck and Congrats!!!

my kids all get along great. They hardly ever fight and my daughter has always adored her little brother. I have boy 16, girl 14, and boy 9. When the youngest was born she loved to play with him and do anything she could to take care of him. They still have a very close bond even now and she pretty much protects him even when he feels he is old enough to take care of himself. I never really let the kids argue, if they start bickering at each other then they need to go to seperate rooms and take a break from each other. That works well even when they are little and they learn to get along. My mom was the same way and our family is still very close. In my family, was boy, girl, boy, My older brother is 4 yrs older then me and my younger brother is 22 months younger, I was in the middle. We always got along well and me and my little bro are very close but still had a close bond with my older brother as well but is different. My mom said I always took care of my little bro like he was my baby. She likes to tell the story of us when he was about 4 and I was coddling over him and trying to help him get dressed. He stood up and said "I am not a baby and can do it myself." We hardly ever argue even as adults. My older bro and younger bro are close too and talk about everything and get ideas and each others opinions.
If you don't let your kids argue when they are young then they usually get along well when they are older. Usually they just need some time alone to themselves when they start fussing at each other, the same way with best friends that are together too much.

You will be amazed at how much your daughter will want to help with the baby and how much she can actually do when she wants to. Take advantage of that help and don't push her away from it because in her mind if it is for the baby she will do a lot and feel good about it and will teach her responsibility early. Let her get the diaper and wipes for you, help pick up toys, pick out outfits (with this you could have 2-4 choices and say "hmm what do you think? I am not sure which one I want him to wear today." Let her choose from those choices and she will feel like she had a part in taking care of him.

Hi A.!
Me again! I have a girl and a baby boy. As far as them growing up together, my current experience is pretty fresh so Im not sure about the long run yet. But my daughter was very disappointed when she found out a baby boy was on the way, she wanted a girl. But once he got here, she softened up. The only advice is to have your daughter involved in everything, sometimes its kind of annoying when your trying to do things, but you have to let them in and let them be close. Let her hold him, kiss him, take care of him with you. My daughter helps him all the time, even when I dont ask. She is my little helper, and she will fall in love with him too. We do have jealously issues, she doesnt get mad at the baby though, just at me! Which I guess is better than the baby! But I do hope they grow up and are close and loving. I mean they are both great, I dont see why they wouldnt be in love with each other. Its also a new love you dont know about when you have more than one kid, seeing them love each other is absolutely amazing!!! Good luck!
Btw....Congrats on baby boy!! He will have you wrapped around his little finger. I bet you all cannot wait for him to "POP OUT".....lol Too cute!

In my home we have both combo's my middle child is a girl. Her and her big brother and her and her little brother are very close. There are 2 years between her big brother and her and 2 1/2 years between her and her little brother. They go through phases of competitiveness, but they play great together. The younger one will play dress up with her and play with her barbies with her and she with in turn play monster trucks with him. My oldest will also play with both of them, most of the time. We have arguments and such but they are not long lived. I love the spacing we have and only wish I had, had one more in time to continue the spacing.

What a fun time! My girl is now 12 and son is 10 - they're 2 years 3 months apart. I'm personally 19 months older than my brother. I can say that anything can happen! I've been delighted (and dismayed) to see my kids act just like my brother & I did - best buddies and tickle wars juxtaposed to fighting for couch space, yelling at each other and the always popular - "not fair" squabbles. They are competitive AND quite protective of each other. Encourage them to help each other as they grow and spend time together. At one point, our son had his own Barbie (Tammy) so he could play dolls with his sister & the neighbor girls. Now he teaches her the ins & outs of some video games! I'm very close with my brother now.
good luck!
K.