Birthday Party on Mother's Day

Updated on May 06, 2013
S.H. asks from Nashua, NH
18 answers

I am wondering what others think when a person schedules a child's birthday party on Mother's Day? This is not a family member. My feeling is that it is being a bit inconsiderate to expect people to respond positively on a day that is meant for families to be together. Maybe things have changed since my children were little because we always spent Mother and Fathers Day without outside interferences.

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K.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Huh, my sons 2nd birthday is on My 8, Mothers Day this year. We have scheduled his party for the 7th. I dont think its a big deal to move the party one day, especially since its a special holiday for many people. I would never expect people to accommodate us for a birthday party when they should be with their mothers, wives, sisters, whomever, on Mothers Day. I have actually had people thank me for having his party on the 7th rather than on his actual birthday.

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

My child would probably have to bow out of attending a child's b-day party if it was being held on Mother's Day or Father's Day...sorry, those are 'family days' IMHO.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

On one hand that day should be spent with the one being honored. On the other, it a 2 hr party, and a friends feelings might be hurt.

Around here, I get a nice breakfast and a nice dinner. The afternoon is just everyone hanging out doing their thing.
I would let my kid go. What better gift could a mom want than to be fed free food, some cake and someone else watching your kid?

M.

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Never heard of this before but I actually like that idea now that I think about it .Maybe the person thinks moms will actually get a break on Mother's Day. The kids will be occupied w/ party activities while moms can sit relax, chat and enjoy food and drink. Or maybe mom can enjoy me time while the kid is @ the party. Now this depends on the age of the children of course. I have an 8 yr old I would likely drop off if the party is @ a venue and not a person's home. I'm not understanding the fuss over families being together. I'm always with my family so time for myself would be a nice change. Besides I think its tacky to ignore mom all year and think taking her out to brunch once a year makes you a *loving* *close* family. Plus I'm thinking the birthday party might only take a couple of hours while the rest of the day can be devoted to local Mother's Day celebrations.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Well, what if the child's birthday IS on that day? Is something more generic more important than something very personal? That mother must have known, but chosen to share 'her' day with her child. Just wondering...

I don't think it would diminish the day for me, personally. I wouldn't keep my son from attending for that reason. (so many others, but not that). In our home, we might do a little something in the morning, and make a few calls to moms/stepmoms, but I think the Observance of Mothers doesn't trump a child's true birthday.

Is it inconsiderate? Not really. Some families might take them up on it. I wouldn't take it as an affront, just send a card and a 'sorry, we already had plans for the day'. You don't have to respond negatively, right? Just courteously. Likely, the child's birthday won't fall on Mother's Day next year.:)

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I wouldn't think anything of it at all. If you have something planned, decline the invitation. But around here, mothers day is maybe breakfast in bed and a card, father's day same thing. Sometimes I wish it was something more, but in 6 years it hasn't happened, so it's probably not going to happen this year either. I'd be totally fine sending my kids.

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J.W.

answers from Boston on

I am with you. I think it one thing for a mom to give up her special day to share it with her own kid on his birthday, but to ask other moms to make Mother's Day about someone else's kid seems a bit much. In my house, Mother's Day is special, and we do something together as a family on the whole day. Can you plan a birthday play-date with the other child sometime instead of attending the party?

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I know you already have several responses to this but it hits so close to home for two reasons. I think it is very inconsiderate to ask other people to give up that special day.
1st- my son was born on Father's Day so every few years his birthday falls on Father's Day. We NEVER have his party on that day with friends. We have my son and husband pick out our special thing to do that day and then have a BBQ and birthday cake and gifts from us. We have my in-laws join us for the day.
2nd - My sister and her husband have held two of their three childrens baptisms on Mother's Day followed by a cookout at their house. To be honest it drives me crazy! They get to be with all their family they want on that day but did they consider the rest of us can't be? It bothers my husband that I don't get to do what I want for Mother's Day and that he doesn't get to see his mom.

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M.G.

answers from Pittsfield on

maybe they were hoping to keep it simple and counting on lots of "no" responses? lol.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

It seems to me that very few families spend enough time together these days - everyone's working or scheduled in activities or sitting in front of something electronic. If Mother's Day and Father's Day are important in your family, as they are in mine, then you should keep to that tradition! If someone schedules a party on a day that is commonly spent in other activities by the majority of people, then they either are not at all aware of those traditions, or they simply didn't look at a calendar (since the dates vary every year based on when the Sundays fall), or they purposely chose that day knowing that many people could not attend! Simply decline the invitation and say, "So sorry, but we have Mother's Day plans and cannot attend your festivities. Thanks for inviting us and have a wonderful time." If it was an oversight, they might reschedule. If not, stick to your plans and they will stick to theirs. I don't think you need to change because you think "things have changed" over the years. Nobody in my family does anything on Mother's Day except what my mother and I have planned. It's our one day a year.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'm so glad my silly men make a big fuss of me on mother's day. for me it's so much more important than my birthday. no way would i plan or attend anything on mother's day or father's day. those are family days.
khairete
S.

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

I'm not sure the host was being inconsiderate. He/she might not have even made the connection to it being Mother's Day. I know I love to do something fun with my immediate family on Mother's Day, but my family doesn't typically make a huge deal out of Mother's Day/Father's Day. I know growing up, high school graduation or dance recitals almost always fell on Father's Day and my dad didn't seem to mind. In this case, I would just RSVP "no" to the party since the date doesn't work for your family.

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

That is a little odd.

My guess she wasn't paying attention to the date?

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

Perhaps she is so busy/distracted that she didn't know (I had to check the calendar myself). RSVP "no" without malice.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

yeah thats weird. I wouldn't plan a birthday party on mother's day nor would I go to ANY party on mothers day.

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R.M.

answers from Boston on

I am a mom having my sons birthday party on Mothers day. WHY? well i work on saturday. and His happiness is what having a great mothers day is about ot me. to see my son happy because of the things i do for him.
Dont feel bad to say no. dont think the party revolves around you coming. its about the kids. the party will go on with or with out you and the mom (well at least I) will understand there will be many NO's for that day.
Everyday a mother or father should be appreciated. you can also move mothers day and spend the day with the family any day you want. you dont have to wait for 1 day out of the year to enjoy your family. Im doing this for my son to let him have his party on his birthday weekend and just cause i work saturday leaving sunday the only option i wont make him wait an extra week for his party. what kind of mom would i be? selfish i would say.

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Mother's Day and Father's Day should be spent with family. If it were your nephews bday and there was a Mother's Day/Family Bday party, then that'd be fine. To have a friend bday party on Mother's day is a bit inconsiderate - but ya know, you don't have to go. Maybe they didn't realize it was Mother's day when they picked that date.

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I personally wouldn't do it for my own children and I would never expect anyone to attend that party if I did schedule it on Mother's Day.

Last year one of my SIL's scheduled a baptism on Mother's Day and I was ripped because it took away from time I was able to spend with my mother, my grandmother, and even my MIL. But my girls and husband and I didn't get to do anything at all for me. Nothing. Everyone else was honored except for me. Maybe that sounds selfish, but Mother's Days have a long history of me not being acknowledged. I couldn't even be mad at my SIL in reality because the church screwed her over on dates and she couldn't choose anything else unless she wanted to wait six months. And she didn't.

Ahem. Bitterness, I has it.

Yes, it's inconsiderate to have a birthday party (especially for non-family members that you would not otherwise already be seeing on Mother's Day) on Mother's Day. But you don't have to accept the invitation either.

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