Birthday Party...rsvp?

DON'T CANCEL!! Don't make changes to the party plans....even without those all-important rsvps! & in the end, I believe you will have more girls show up.

We have consistently not received rsvps for years now! My son has an annual Halloween party, & this year he handed out 25 invites. We had verbal responses (at school) from 5 of his friends, with another 3 "maybes". We ended up with 10 kids & not a single phone call from a parent! It sucks.....so I just plan my party & make the basics....what I want to do & not what I think I should do.....& it always works out in the end. I've learned to go with the flow & not get upset or dwell on it. I do my thing & that's all that needs to be done....as long as my son is happy - then it's a.o.k!!!

It's amazing in a world with cell phones how rude people can be. We've had the same problem, but usually not many show up. Call the girls that said they would come. Good luck.

Trust me..........call! I can't tell you how many parties we've had where children just seem to show up! We had several RSVP's to my daughers Harvest Festival & ended up w/many more kids! Thankfully it was at our house & we planned for extra! Enjoy!

Too many people either don't RSVP and then show up or do RSVP and don't come anyway. Nothing you can do to control other people's rudeness.

But you can and should call those you have not heard from; starting with those your daughter says told her they are coming.

You do not mention how old your daughter is or what the party plans were but I have read posts from other mamas here about WHY they do not go to parties:

They do not know the parents. Which is perplexing to me. How will you get to know them unless you say yes to parties, etc.?

The invite doesn't clearly spell out what the party will entail. Some parents like to know that the activities, food, etc. planned will be appropriate for their child. Again, this is a bit perplexing to me because really, I do not think your average birthday party agenda is very adventurous.

The weekend picked is a very busy one (for example...Almost any weekend in December) and they are unsure if they can squeeze anything else into their family's schedule.

The invite never made it home. I cannot tell you how many times my son has told me the day of a party that he was invited but left the invite in his school cubby.

This is a major pet peeve of mine.

We have parties and they are not cheap. Some of our events are $25pp so I call the parents and ask. I just say, is _____coming to the party? I have to lock in my number and would like to know, thank you.

Most of the time the parent is embarrassed and I just tell them that I have to payn for so many and if they can't, that's fine, just let me know.
GOod luck.

I would call or send another note reminding that RSVP's are needed to plan accordingly.

I just got a reminder note with more information about a birthday party and this is what prompted me to RSVP. I had forgotten all about it with everything going on. I left a message with an apology for the birthday girl's mother.

With the holidays being so busy, people overlook little things they can put off. I know it is rude but I guess I was one of "those moms" this past week so I can sympathize with all those mother's who didn't respond. I would give them another chance as it will be easier to plan if you have a correct count.

Have fun and Happy Birthday to your daughter!

You don't say how old your daughter is, but trust me, I have two kids and I know from experience that this happens when you invite all the classmates.
I always asked the teacher for permission to let my kids get other phone numbers (without disrupting class of course). That way, I had contact information for the parents of the kids I didn't know closely.
You can't always blame the parents in these situations. You'd be surprised how many invitations never even made it home or finally did at the last minute. That's why I tried to be at the school in the morning or after school to see parents in person or have the kids give me their numbers.
People that say they will attend have things that come up and people who don't say they will come show up. It's so hard to tell and yes, it's frustrating.
We always just planned as if all the kids would come to be on the safe side.
I also know from experience that this is a really hard time of year to have birthday parties. My sister and I are both December babies and we figured out early on our parties never really worked out. People are so busy with the holidays or going out of town.
After sending out invitations, you can't cancel the party. Talk with the parents you know are coming and see if a Plan B will be okay with them just in case. If you can, send out a reminder or be at the school when class lets out to hand them out and make sure they get in backpacks, etc.
The main thing is that you can be sure your daughter has a great time regardless of how many kids show up.

I hope she has a great time!

you would not believe how tempted I am every year to only make up goody bags for the kids that I know our coming. This is the biggest reason I will not have a party outside of my home because people do not rsvp. I would hate to have 5 rsvp so I'd pay for 7 (includes my 2) then have 10 kids show or pay for 15 kids and only have 3! We always rsvp. How hard is it to pick up a phone and call someone.
This year I sent fb invites to the parents I am friendly with and all of them responded already but the invites that my son took school we have not heard from anyone yet so maybe we will have 30 kids or maybe we will have 8 who knows. I wouldn't cancel the party because then you will have people that did not rsvp showing up at your house at the time of the party if does in fact end up only being 3 kids have your cake at home then take the 3 girls out some place fun.

Hi Kate :)

It is a "sign of the times" with people so busy these days and the art of communication becoming less apparent... how about EVERY time we phone a company we get a ROBOT now instead of a human.. LOL!

So... no worries on the lack of RSVP.. many are busy and are "thinking" in their mind "Oh, ok, the party is this date and my daughter will be attending".. but the information may not get passed that point :-)

I would phone each mom you sent the invite to and let them know you are following up on the mailed invite. Probably many will be happy for this contact. Have a wonderful party ... 3 girls is plenty, with you that makes 4.. lots of bubbly excited energy to play in!
hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner

I would not cancel the party...it is for your daughter. Have the party and enjoy it regardless of how many come.

I just had my daughter's birthday party. Only one person replied from her preschool. She also had her cousins and one child from church and one from her old preschool but they had a ball.

The lack of RSVP is ridiculous. Some figure "I don't have to reply if I am not coming" while others think "I don't have to reply, they KNOW I am coming". It results in the hosts thinking "I have 100 people invited. I know 20 is coming...how many of the other 80 are or aren't coming?". Planning to have enought but not too much (food, party favors, etc.) becomes quite difficult. It is quite rude too. On our invitations I include a phone number and my email address too so all they really have to do is send an email "yes, we'll be there" or "sorry we can't make it" at any hour that suits them.

I agree to just call them. I also agree that this non RSVP business is rude and ridiculous but it's better to call and know for sure (at least mostly for sure, b/c even then it will change) than to be left wondering.

Don't cancel even if its only 3 people. Its ok to call the other Moms, just make sure the invite got to them and ask if the daughter can attend. My mom used to take the kids to a McDonalds with a play area and let them have a happy meal and play, she would take a cake or cupcakes. It was a real treat. Have fun.

People don't even look at RSVP's, they just show up. If you cancel the party the only one you teach anything to is your daughter. Plan the party and don't even do RSVP's in the future, just plan on them coming and if they don't then you have extra treat bags or party favors to have at home or give to some other kids.

It takes all of one minute to call and RSVP and it drives me crazy that so many folks don't have the proper manners to call and do so. I am on the planning end of many events both at home and work and more than not, half of the people that show up, don't respond. In your case, I would call the parent(s) and you may end up leaving messages at most, but let them know that you are thinking about changing the party plans and if their daughter is planning on attending, please let you know by tomorrow at noon. I wouldn't give them much time to respond because it won't matter if you give them one hour or one week. Maybe this will make them pick up the phone and call. Good luck and sorry for the bit of fussing. Everyone needs to RSVP when requested and teach your kids to do the same as they grow up and are asked to do so.

I hate to tell you that it probably won't get any better as they get older. We recently had our daughter's Sweet 16 Party and I had to start making calls to the mothers I knew and still I bet 6-7 showed who we hadn't heard anything from. As I told one mom, nicely, it's not like we were having pizza's in the basement, I had to order and buy the food for X amount at a country club!
Now I know that sounds snooty, really we are not. It honestly is the ONLY party she has had since she was 2 and my dear husband told her this was it until she gets married!

Ugh, I know people are so self centered,.. they assume you can read their minds..
Wait till you hear all of the excuses.. and yet they are happy to plop and drop their kids off at the party. without letting you know they were coming..

I would call each of them or email them..

In the future be sure to use evite.. for some reason, people will respond by email that has actually been sent to them, before they will call.. Go figure.

My advice is to plan for everyone you invited. Sadly, most people don't RSVP these days even though it puts a burden on the party planner. Same thing happens at my sons birthdays and most kids always show up. Good luck.

This is why I switched to putting an eVite website address on paper invitations. It's AMAZING how many more RSVPs I get now. Also, I get to add a lot of extra info on the site.

I think if you invite 10 girls you should plan for 10 as well. Someone mentioned below about finding invites in cubbies on the day of the party. I guess that is my pet peeve about the whole party thing...I wish that the parents of the children would also take the time to introduce themselves to me and hand me the invite! Etiquette goes both ways:)

I also think a lot gets lost in communication. I was invited to a party recently(an invite was left in the cubby). A few days after I found it the dad in the family saw me and asked if I got it. I told him yes, and that we would be there. So I didn't "rsvp" any further. When we showed up at the party the mom in the family opened the door and was completely stunned that we showed up and mentioned that she wasn't sure if we would be there because we didn't rsvp!

Times are changing...the blanket invites aren't appropriate in my opinion. When I threw a party for my daughter last year I took the time to meet the parents I didn't already know and introduced myself, and I called them first to ask about coming to a party before sending an invite. And I also like the e-vites too...they are easier for people to respond to on their own time, and leave lots of room for changes of plans. Parents get inundated with papers at school and paper invites simply get forgotten about sometimes.