Breastfed Baby Not Sleeping Through the Night at Nine Months Old

I know your frustration...and yes it will get better. Hang in there.

Two of my breastfed babies slept through the night very early on so I think it really depends on he baby, not necessarily the food.

What immediately came to mind was 2 things...reflux and teething. My middle child had such severe reflux while I breastfed him that I had to stop. Formula, rice cereal, zantac and sleeping propped up all helped significantly.

As far as teething is concerned there are many things you can try and do; teething tablets, oragel, tykenol, wet washcloth etc. But really just patience is best.

Another thing to keep in mind is that developmentally there are things happening that could be a culprit. Yes separation anxiety is one of them and it usually occurs around this time. Also when infants learn a new skill, such a s standing, they tend to sleep less. But these stages shall pass.

What I did with my 1st during this time was I gave her a fischer price aqarium that was attached to her crib. I'd stay with her rubbing, reassuring & holding her hand until she fell asleep. Yes, even in the middle of the night. She was (and still is) a very high maintainence baby/child and CIO took a long time but eventually worked when she was not experiencing any of the above mentioned issues or sick.

Good luck and hang in there. It will get better, soon, I promise.

When he is up at night where to you feed him? Make sure you never feed him in the bedroom.

Hi A.! I had the same problem early on with my daughter. I quickly realized that she was not hungry, just wanted mom. I tried the cry it out thing but I didn't like the way it felt. (I am not saying the people that do it are wrong, it just wasn't for us). I ended up giving in and letting her sleep with us. She immediately started sleeping through the night! I just think she doesn't like being alone. I'm sure this method is not for everyone either, but my husband doesn't mind and it allows our family to all get a good night's sleep. I figure I will take advantage of the closeness while it lasts! Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

You sound just like me! My son did not sleep through the night, and nursed all night, til he was about ten months old. But, up til then, he would sleep in our bed, so I also had to try to get that separation so that he would nurse less. I don't know if it's the method we used, or if he was just ready, or if it was a combination of both. I read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" and adapted it so that I was comfortable with it (because I didn't like the idea of letting him cry too much). You don't have to read the whole book--just the sections that describe the program/idea, and then the section pertaining to your child's age. I was able to borrow the book from the library, but you can also check out the author's website...www.sleeplady.com

Good luck. I know how rough that is, and I know how frustrating and exhausting it is. It will end, try to keep that in mind. Now, my son is a really good sleeper at age 2. Also remember that "sleep begets sleep" as they say. Once your son starts sleeping better at night, his naps will improve. Sounds weird, but it's amazingly true! And if you get overwhelmed by all the advice and ideas, do what I did and just start somewhere. You can always change things if they aren't working, and try something new.

A.,

My son was much the same way at your baby's age. He is now 20 months old, still b'feeding and wakes up some at nighttime, but not as much as before! For me, we weren't really able to get into a good nap routine at home (he napped well at daycare!) until he was about a year old or so. He usually wakes up once to nurse at night, at which time I bring him into bed with me for the rest of the night. When he has a cold or is teething, the night waking is more frequent. Have you tried bed-sharing at night? Or napping with him in the daytime so you can both get some rest? It sounds to me like he simply needs you and wants to be close to you. I totally understand how frustrating and exhausting this can be! Rest assured (no pun intended) that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it isn't a train! I just keep reminding myself that before I know it, my little guy will be running off to play and won't want mama anymore. Hang in there.

Good morning A.

I know exactly how you feel and I will say that I had the same thing with my son so no matter what anyone thought I took it into my hands and put him in the bed with us and that is exactly where he stayed until he was 18 months old. I finally got some sleep and he finally got some sleep. When it was time to get him into his own situation I had 3 nights of 3 hour crying but I just held him and talked to him and then it was okay. He is as stubborn as the day is long so crying it out at 9 months was just not an option for me....... he wanted to be near mommy and that is what worked. Just remember this too shall pass. Good luck!!!

I highly recommend the book The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears. It is by far the most comprehensive book at how infants sleep and how to help them sleep. Babies come how they come. Some are good sleepers who have no problem sleeping in a crib by themselves. Others, because of their temperament need to see and feel mama to feel safe. If that is the case with your baby there is very little you can do to change that. My daughter needed constant physical contact as an infant and my husband and I choose to co-sleep. I know that many people think that is the ultimate no-no but we have found it be the easiest way for us all to sleep and for the most part it has been a joy. I remember months 9-13 being very difficult because of separation anxiety but that stage does pass. Co-sleeping can be just putting his crib in your room. Maybe if he wakes up and sees and hears you he will settle down. What we do is we have our daughter's crib set up like a sidecar co-sleeper, with one side of the crib removed and pushed up against our bed. She crawls in with me to nurse and then I put her back afterward. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I am curious to see responses b/c my son is 1 year and still not sleeping through the night. I too have tried all the tricks you mentioned. He gives me stretched of 1-4 hours each night. The only thing I keep in mind is that my older son was almost the same and suddenly he slept though just over a year and I will say he is the BEST at sleeping at night now (neither of my boys nap) I also try to tell my self it CANNOT last forever and is a few years I will miss our middle of the night snuggles...

Hi A.,
My son is 10 mths old and we have the same issue. We posted as well, and got fairly similar responses--try harder, cry it out vs. have them sleep in your bed, etc. My depressing conclusion right now is that there isn't an exact solution, only what you are willing to live with. I wish I had brilliant advice, but as i do not, you have my full sympathy and understanding, for what it is worth. As for what we are doing about it, we basically gave up and let him sleep with us, and we all get decent sleep, though he does get restless sometimes and certainly has a few nips at the breast. Honestly though, I never remember how many times anymore, as I am usually asleep or half asleep. He was actually doing ok for a while on his own, and we had some success with the 'no cry sleep solution', but it took a long time and my husband had to do all the work due to the almighty boob issue, which was hard with both of us working. Then he got sick, and then 8 or 9 mths it got WAY worse, as you describe, and we just haven't had the energy to do battle with him. Plus, though I am of course annoyed that he isn't the perfect sleeper, we do really love being able to cuddle him and I miss him while at work, and as he is super active, distractable, and a serious grazer during the day, I at least know he is getting much needed milk at night. If society supported co-sleeping more, and there was not so much pressure on having your baby sleep through the night perfectly in his/her own bed own crib, I wonder if i would just feel better about it. If you know you don't want him in your bed though, i would give that book a try, just know it takes a while and a lot of effort. Rest assured though, you are not alone! I promise you he won't want to breastfeed all night when he is 10, and this will all be a distant memory. At least, that is what I am telling myself!

A.,
I'll try to be as gentle as possible with this: Remember all babies are different. They come with no manual and no guarantees. Your little one might be stubborn, but he also might wind up needing very little sleep at night.

He's only 9 months. My son was still waking 4x a night at that age. He still wakes 1-3 times, although it is getting to be 1-2 more often when he is not teething. Some moms have luck with crying it out. Some have luck with co-sleeping. Some with swings, or even hammocks.

Be patient, call in the relief crew, and get a nap - even during the day this can help a lot. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed. Maybe you'll find something that works? My idea for you is to stick to the contingency: get SOME rest and start coping so you can be less frazzled for the guy, and maybe when he sees Mom is more relaxed (being overtired makes ME wired, and it's hard to do your night time routine in Noon-time voice :D, he will follow suit. Calming things like baths might help, but a routine that starts an hour before bedtime (or whatever works) can be very helpful on the wind-down too. I recommend going to bed at the same time he does - even if it is just a nap to get up and do dishes afterwards (or whatever chores are quiet).

Good luck, congratulations on your little guy, and wish you the best on getting some sleep.

M.

A., i'm not sure you are using the right method. before you try the "cry it out" method, get the book and read it. there are some other ones by Dr. Weisbluth and something called the baby wisperer (i did not try this one). if you are really ready to use a sleep training method, then you have to stick with it for more than 1 day. i had a son that was a difficult sleeper and still occasionally is, but for the most part he is a good sleeper. i had to "train" him multiple times at different stages of his development. i had a couple of nights when i sat on the steps outside his bedroom from about 2:30 am to 5 or 6am when everyone got up for the day. i had to do this for about 3 nights and then it got much better. your son knows that if he cries long enough or hard enough, you will come in and he gets what he wants. just be sure you are comfortable with the method you choose and stick to it! good luck.

Hi A., I am currently reading "The Baby Sleep Book", by Dr. Sears, which contains a lot of great and very pertinent advice for your questions/issues. In particular, it addresses why the "cry it out" method does not work, and offers more psychologically sound methods for helping baby and you sleep sleep sleep! Hope this helps, J.

When my daughter had trouble sleeping at this age and I wanted to cut down on nursing I sent my husband in when she woke up. She was not happy because she wanted to nurse and she would cry hard for a few minutes but that would tire her out and he would rock her back to sleep. After just a few nights she went down to waking up just once a night to nurse then I night weaned at 13 months again by sending in Daddy. I also read the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth at the same time, and that really helped our daughter tremendously. She woke up every hour until we reallized that 7:30 was too late a bed time for her. Once we moved it up to 6:30 she started only waking up once to nurse and would go immediately back to sleep. Try the book and try sending in Daddy... I hope this helps!

Dear A.
I m not a doctor or nurse but I have a friend that was in a similar situation. She finally found out that her baby had acid reflux that hurted her and woke her up all night. She put a pillow under the matress so her head woulb be elevated and the reflux would be less intense. It worked for her.
I hope you will find the solution and if it is just a parsonality issue, try again and again the cry it out, just check on him every 10mn so he knows you are around.Then 15 mn, then 20 etc.. That worked for us and we are using it often as we travel a lot into different time zone. It takes 2 night to put him bqck to schedule.

Hi A.,

I know there are some babies who sleep great, but others don't. Here is how I handled all of my babies (4 of them so far). My husband works and didn't want to be woken up at night by the baby, so for every one of my babies, I have slept in the living room in a recliner, would nurse the baby, and if I didn't fall asleep while the baby nursed, I would put the baby down in a pack n play. Most of the time, honestly, I just let the baby sleep in my arms all night. We all got more sleep that way. I know this isn't the advice you were looking for, but I don't think it matters where or how we all sleep, as long as we sleep! I did this until each baby weaned, and ironically had no trouble getting them into their beds in their rooms once they weaned, so I guess I would call this a highly successful "method"...one that I plan on doing again when I have my 5th baby in a couple of months.

The time that we have with them being little is so short..my boys are now 9 and 7 and they play so well together that even though I'm with them all the time, I feel like I never see them. All too soon your baby will be on to other things and you'll be missing the time when he wanted to be with you so much.

D.
mother to 5 with one more on the way

Hi A.
Is he eating cereal? My 4 1/2 month old was waking up 2 or 3 times to eat during the night for a total of 8 or 9 feedings a day - BM and formula. The doctor said she was hungry and needed more - start cereal. I started her on cereal - 1 tablespoon in the am - 10am feeding - and 1 in the pm - 6pm feeding. She slept 9 hours the first night! and has continued with 9 or 10 hours every night for a week now. I'm soooo excited and rested it is fabulous. I do dream feed her at 11pm.
Good Luck!
D.

A.,

I know you said you have tried crying it out but how many nights did you try and for how long did the baby cry? Maybe you should try it again and this time go in every five minutes or so and lay him back down say night night and leave the room. Continue doing this until he gives up and realizes that you are not going to take him out. In order for him to learn to self soothe you cannot take him out no matter how hard he cries. I do not suggest that you leave him there to cry make sure you go in frequently and check him lay him down so he knows you are there but you are not going to pick him up. If you are not comfortable leaving him you can stay and rub him but try not to pick him up. How do you put him to sleep now? Nursing or rocking? If he is not used to putting himself to sleep that is a part of the problem he is looking for you in the middle of the night to help him. Doing the cry it out method is not for everyone and it is very difficult to listen to but it does work if done properly and if you do not give in. I waited until my daughter was 1 and it was terrible she cried for one hour the first night.But I was so sleep deprived that I felt I had no choice. Just think of it as giving your child the gift of sleep independence, you will be happier and he will be happier because he will be well rested. Some people are against this method and like I said it is personal choice, but you sound exhausted, and at your wits end. I would try it again this weekend so you can rest during the day if you have a bad night. Do it at nap time as well so you are consistent with putting him to sleep. I also used a music box. I would have the same routine. If you nurse make sure to lay him down awake, put music on and leave the room. He will cry and eventually by night four you should have a sleeping baby. I find if you do it at nap time as well it makes the process quicker and also creates sleep consistency. Stay strong, and if you feel you are ready do not give in, once you pick him up you will have to start all over again and in most cases he will cry longer and harder waiting for you to pick him up. Good luck, if you need emotional support just reach out. I know it is hard but I have found it does work. Take care!!

How long did you attempt to let him cry it out? With both of my sons (now 3 & 2) it took 4 nights of crying for them to go to sleep on their own (the 2nd night was the worst of the 4). At first they woke in the middle of the night often, but we ignored it unless it was 5 hours after their last feeding in case they really were hungry. They were both breastfed and woke up once a night until about 10 months. It sounds like your baby wants you more than the feeding - it was hardest for us when I returned to work at 3 months old (they seemed to wake up just to visit). You may want to try having your husband do the nightly feedings (I'll bet he's only taking an ounce or so at those late feedings so it wouldn't take too much to pump, and once your son realizes you're not coming he'll likely stop waking).
Also, my 3rd baby is 3 months old and totally breastfed. She's slept through the night since she was 6 weeks old (God bless her!) so the waking up every hour probably isn't related to breast milk - plus you son's 9 months old and eating solids too.
My vote is to try crying it out again, and to have your husband do the nightly feedings.
Good luck to you!