Breastfeeding Question - Seattle,WA

You might be breastfeeding all the time, I sure did at first too. I also had a very busy little boy, and I could tell he wanted my attention. So I can totally relate, and I am here to tell you that it will get better! Hang in there! I'm thinking around 2 1/2 - 3 moths we really got the hang of it, and it was so much easier. You can do it, stick with it. Your little boy will be just fine too. Maybe try to make some extra special time for the two of you when baby is sleeping.

First of all, cut yourself some slack. You have TWO babies right now. :) Your toddler isn't in Little League yet (is he?) -- but a second baby can make us feel awful about not being there for the first.

1. Stopping nursing will not give you more time with either child, because you'll have to spend time getting bottles, making bottles, washing bottles.

2. Good for you that you're nursing all the time -- your baby is right on target for a growth spurt, so he's going to be voracious for another week of so. Go with it baby.

3. Don't be tied down -- get a sling. Come over to onehotmama to find several options. I have 4 kids, the last two twins, and I left the house starting at three weeks with my first baby and never looked back (okay, leaving the bed was tricky with 2, but I finally put them in 2 slings and was on the move again.) If you don't have to sit in a special chair to nurse, and you get a couple items of nursing clothing or cull your wardrobe of nursing-unfriendly clothes, you'll be able to go everywhere your toddler does without even remembering that baby is noshing away in the sling. Better yet, no one will see what you're doing! (Please, do not get a goofy nursing cover!)

4. Where in Wyoming? We go to Dubois every summer!!

5. You are so early in your baby girl's life. Remember that things settle down and get easier in a few weeks. But she's an infant. I repeat the very first thing I said above -- cut yourself some slack!

6. I almost forgot my fave new baby trick!! Every once in a while, be sure to say out loud to the baby, in earshot of your son, "Sorry, sweetie, I can't nurse/change you/come right now. I'm reading to/playing with/helping Johnny. That way, your toddler will hear that both sibs are sacrificing.

Email me any time! I have a blog and a site at onehotmama! Good luck!

First, give yourself permission to nurse anywhere and everywhere you and your family may want to go. There is nowhere that is off limits. Don't feel like you have to find a private place or that you have to nurse in a bathroom. Just buy a cover-up and practice nursing discreetly. I know people have horror stories about people berating them for this, but in the 2 years I nursed (2 kids), I never got anything but compliments about what a gift I am giving my kids. The only place I did not nurse was the church pews (I went to the nursery). If anyone does make snide comments, and you don't feel up to the confrontation, then just ignore them... they will go away.

As for nursing at home, I found a couple things helpful.

*First, nurse when you get the chance even if baby isn't asking. If your older one is occupied eating lunch, nurse. If your older one is entranced by a tv show, take advantage of the time.

*The second thing is to make a basket of toys that is ONLY for while you are nursing.

*Third, let him help. While you are feeding, ask him to go fetch a diaper, wipes, a blanket, a drink for you, whatever. Older siblings love to feel like they are invaluable to you. I sometimes acted like I didn't know why my baby was crying. My daughter would tell me she is probably hungry. I would feed her, and my daughter would be so proud that I needed her and she allowed me to nurse in peace because it was her idea.

*Be sure to tell your baby sometimes "mommy is busy with your older brother right now and you will have to wait your turn". No baby has suffered any harm from crying for a minute or two, but saying this in front of your son will make him feel like it is more fair when you repeat that line to him while you nurse.

*Buy a ton of little surprises and wrap them all separately. Put them all in a basket. When you are nursing and he is getting restless, send him to get one and it will keep him busy for at least 10 minutes. (ie dollar tree toys, books, coloring pages, snacks)

*Last, before you plan to sit down to nurse, tell him that his sister is hungry and you need to feed her. Ask him if there is anything he needs from you before you sit down.

Eventually, nursing will get less frequent and your son will get used to it.

Hi K.,

Great job breast feeding. It is hard work. I'm not sure how breast feeding-friendly Wyoming is but I would recommend purchasing a Hooter Hiders nursing cover. Also, if you're keeping track of your feedings, you can get a feel for the times of the day your newborn is likely to need to eat and when it might be a good time for a quick trip to a park. Also, I know other moms who have carried their little ones in slings and were able to figure out a way to nurse their babies while wearing them. (I didn't learn this trick myself because I didn't mind whipping out the Hooter Hiders - they are really handy.) Yes, it does get easier. Probably feels like you are nursing all the time because you are nursing all the time. These first few months are packed with growth spurt after growth spurt and usually that means an increase in the frequency of feedings. Keep up the good work, you're being a fantastic mom.

Hi K.,
You don't say how long you're breastfeeding for at a time or if you're feeding on demand, but I would suggest that you feed for no more than 15 minutes a side and try and put your baby on a loose schedule - say feed every two hours, more or less... I had to schedule with my first as he would otherwise stay on all day so the doctor told me to time him. Hope this helps.

You're in the home stretch! It takes 6 weeks to build up your supply, so you're almost there. No don't tell the Mommy Police, but here's what I did with my also VERY active toddler boy who felt the need to climb all over me while I tried to nurse the baby: 1. TV, 2. Lollipops, 3. New toys. Once my baby was three months I stopped doing these things, as we'd settled in a bit better. But man, there were times when I wanted to take a blow dart tranquilizer to that toddler so I could nurse and enjoy my new baby. Again, shhhh, don't tell the Mommy Police!

AMD

A sling sounds like a great option. My daughter wanted to nurse constantly and the only option was to walk around with her and nurse or I would have become one with my chair :) It took a little practice but after you get the hang of it it gets easier. You will do great and your son will make it this summer.

It'll get easier! Give your little guy some crayons and paper and maybe have him pick a cd or show that will help him keep track of time. Tell him that after 2 songs (or however long your baby nurses) that you'll be able to play but that it would be really helpful if he could play independently for that long while you feed the baby. It won't always work, but if it works for one feeding a day, that's progress right?! :)

It does get easier. With a baby that young you are still establishing a milk supply and the are growing so much so they eat frequently. I just went throught the same thing with my busy 2 year old and now 4 month old. I would say by 2 1/2 months or so my youngest had really gotten the hang of nursing and got milk quicker from the breast so he wasnt latched on as long and was eating less frequently. Someone had suggested to me to have a special box of toys set aside that your older boy gets to play with only when you are nursing to keep him distracted. That may get you through the nest few weeks till things get easier. Keep it up. Its worth it!

HI K. -

It does get easier! Over time, your baby will be able to nurse more efficiently and and your son will get used to waiting. This is good practice for him, learning in a natural way about patience. That doesn't mean you expect him to be mature about it--he is so little. Put together an activity basket with little things and maybe a couple of special DVDs in it that are just for nursing times. You pull it out and let your little guy choose something from the basket each time you nurse (or at least during a few feedings a day). You can also set up a station with books the two of your like to read together and have him sit next to you and read to him once you get baby latched on and settled. Go sit in your backyard and nurse the baby while your toddler plays in the dirt. Invite another mom over who has a little boy your boy's age and let the two of them entertain each other. Get a nursing poncho and take your kids to a nearby park that is safe for toddlers (wear your baby in a wrap so she can sleep and nurse easily and you can have your hands free to help your little boy on the toys). Go spend time at a family member's house to give your little boy (and yourself) a break from your house (a change of scenery helps everyone feel refreshed once in a while). You'll get a chance to visit with family and your boy will have new and different things to look at and play with, which takes some of the "entertainment" pressure off you for a while.

Don't give up breastfeeding. It actually makes life more convenient in the long-run (having to spend $ on formula, stop and prepare bottles all day and night, and still having to sit and feed your baby doen't sound like it would free you up much) and it's worth the few sacrifices you may have to make in the short term, such as being home a bit more and taking life at a little slower pace.

Blessings to you,
J. (mom of 5)

I just went through this. Get your son a special toy that he can only play with when you nurse. He will be occupied and also will help with any jealousy for attention he may be having. You can nurse anywhere. I take my daughter to the park and nurse the little one on the bench. If you have a nursing cover it may help you to feel more comfortable nursing in public. And, yes, it is the right thing to do. A.