Bungled by a Bedtime Banshee

Maybe try moving her bedtime back to the early one? I have found that travel and the intensive periods of activity that it brings can propel a child in development (we would always come back from family vacations with an increased vocabulary and new ways of playing). She might have even more going on in her little brain these days and therefore be more tired. She may be freaking out because she's way way overtired and can't easily settle herself down. But if you get her down earlier, when she's still in a decent mood and hasn't drifted into cranky yet, she'll have an easier time. No matter what you try, be prepared for a slow adjustment... changes can take a few days to make a difference. Good luck!

You might just need to take her by the arms look her in the eye and tell her to stop. Tell her that it is bedtime and she will go to bed quietly. She should be old enough now to understand a few words and if you say it with your "I mean it" face she'll know you aren't pleased and you mean it.

That's funny because my 29 month old is just finishing up (I think!) and similar phase. He didn't cry and scream but he kept telling me he doesn't want to go the bed and he wants to "stay up all night"...Anyways, the other night he was so tired from a recent weekend trip that he actually fell asleep in my lap as we were reading books in bed. Since then, he's gotten a little better. I don't think I'd want to push the bedtime too late because while my son was going through the phase it took at least an extra half hour to get him to bed so we needed to start earlier so he could settle down enough to sleep. If he went to bed too late he would actually get up earlier the next day. The book we were reading when he fell asleep in my lap was "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch :-)

If she's only screaming for 5 minutes (which, trust me, I know feels like an eternity when it is happening), just continue what you've been doing and stay consistent. The last thing you want to do is reinforce the screaming behavior by running to her and appeasing her desire to not go to bed. You're the mother and you understand how important sleep is to her growth and development. Maintain that expectation.

You might want to try shifting the bedtime a little earlier if you think the meltdown is happening due to being overtired.

It's definitely hard, but you are doing the right thing. CONSISTENCY is the key, and it and sounds like you have a good handle on that.

Often when kids don't want to go to bed, it's because they perceive the circus (i.e., the fun stuff) is still going on without them. It sounds to me as if she wants to be downstairs where the fun is. What you want to do is remove any suggestion of the circus. Turn as many lights down or off as possible; make sure other people in the house are engaged in quiet pursuits, turn off the TV if possible - even if temporarily - or turn it to something boring for a kid; turn music down or off; even speak lower. You might try sitting with her for a few minutes, upstairs in her room, in the dark.

"Winding down" is important to kids as well as to adults. Think about it - you don't just fall into bed and immediately go to sleep after a busy day, right? Kids will find their own sleep patterns and get what they need (I never paid any attention to how many hours they were getting, just looked at their behavior and whether they were tired the next day, and I've raised 5 healthy kids and 2 steps!). One of the main things a parent teaches a child is how to listen to his/her body and give it what it needs. A regular, calming night-time ritual is a good habit for anyone of any age to have. It's more important than hour many hours of sleep they are getting.

She sleeps for 12-15 hours straight?!? That part of your question struck me when i read it! Does your daughter nap during the day as well, or not? A child should get 8-12 hours of sleep at a stretch. Can she have low blood iron? Does anemia run in your family? Just something to be aware of. I have 4 children, ranging from 14 yrs. to 6 mo. old, and sleeping that long just doesn't seem normal!

Anyways, to answer your original question: Maybe your daughter has some night-time fears like most young children...monsters! :) Or, perhaps she is too worried she might be missing out on something exciting going on in the house while she is asleep. Children do go through various phases like those. Try talking to her and asking her why she doesn't want to go to bed. Sometimes a heart-to-heart is all it takes. Even young kids love to know that Mommy or daddy care enough to talk to them about an issue...they just can't verbalize it, but they'll fel the love and care and concern. Good luck!