Getting My 2.5 Year Old to Bed Peacefully!!

I read somewhere that if a child fusses for more than ten minutes at bedtime, their bedtime is too late. I agree with the other posters.
I also read somewhere that, "sleep begets sleep". That is soo true!

My daughter is 2.5 also. I was having the same issues. I knew that my daughter was trying to fight her sleep. Not only was she crying but then there was a laundry list of things that she needed before she went to bed (juice, milk, her book, ......) With the suggestion of a friend, I started playing soft music and I put nightlights in her room. This has helped. Although we do have those nights of crying they are far and few between. I hope this helps.

YOur child is going to bed too late and is over-tired by the time you're trying, so resisting bedtime. Call Dr. Weissbluth ###-###-####) He is a genius and a miracle worker -- tell him M. Graham Norwich sent you :))

My first reaction is that your child is overtired and needs to go to bed earlier. Give it a try! You'll want to get a handle on the bedtime routine as best as possible before your second child arrives in March. Consult the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth if you haven't already for some ideas, techniques, norms etc. Good Luck!

S.,

I answered lots of moms about sleep issues. I always suggest putting your child down when you are sure they are sleepy. Many children this age don't want to give up and go to bed or separate from their parents. I would go in to my kids every five minutes and calm them down. They can cry so long that they are unable to calm themselves down. I would hold them, not talk, and calm them. Then put them down again and leave and watch the clock! Just keep doing that same routine every night and I think she will get the idea that it is time to sleep but you are still there. Good luck. A.

I see that your other 2 posts say to put your daughter to bed earlier. My daughter whe will be 2.5 in March, gets into bed at 8 every night, I do a story, a song and prayers with her and generally leave her room by 8:15 and she is usually asleep by 8:30. There is no crying involved. My daughter has not been a great sleeper and we tried letting her cry it out a few times at different ages and it never worked for us. Our bedtime is all about routine. We do a bath at 7, and she gets to stay in the bath as long as she wants, which is sometimes 3 minutes and sometimes 45 minutes. But she always gets in the bathtub, even if it is a bit difficult some nights. After the bath we do teeth-brushing, and vitamins. Then she gets to pick out her pajamas for the night and she gets free time. The only rule with free time is that she stay upstairs in her room. Sometimes we spill into the hallway for a tea party. If she stays in the bathtub past 7:30 or so I mention that if she stays in much longer she won't have much time for playing before bedtime, so there are no surprises for her if she gets out of the bath and it is immediately bed time. At about 7:40 or 7:45 I tell her that it is almost time for bed and that if she wants to read any books we need to do so. Usually she sits with me in the rocking chair and we read a couple of books. At about 7:55 I tell her it is time for her to turn on her music. We have a clock with a CD player in her room and she likes to turn on her lullabyes. Then she climbs into bed. We used to do lights out at that time, but now she likes to read one more book in bed before the lights go out. We only allow some of the shorter board books for this, but that was when we moved music time forward 5 minutes to compensate for an extra book in bed. Once that story is over, usually right about 8, she turns the light off (her light is in the ceiling fan and has a remote so she can do it herself from bed). My daughter loves baby dolls and has 7. She is allowed to sleep with 2 and her stuffed cat, so she picks who she wants to sleep with her as well. Then she gets to choose one story for us to tell her, then one song, then we say prayers and then I give her a hug and kiss and say good night and leave. I am almost always out the door between 8:10 and 8:15. Sometimes she tries different tactics to get out of bed and to get Mom back in the room, depending on how tired she is. We let her use the potty whenever she asks, and we allow one drink of water. Other than that, if she gets out of bed we tell her it is bedtime and she must get back in bed. There has been crying and arguing over this, but now she knows and she gets back in bed even if she still wants to protest. I try to just give her a hug and kiss and say goodnight again and leave. It usually works. The only time lately I have had any problem is when she had a cold and was really stuffed up. We have a similar process in the morning. My daughter is an early riser, but wake-up time in our house is 6 am. So if she wakes up before that, I tell her it is not wake-up time and I will be back to get her when it is. She is just now getting good at being awake and staying in bed if she wakes up before 6 am. It doesn't seem that you have this problem though.

So this was a really long description of our routine. I really think that if you get a good routine going and your daughter gets used to it, there will be no more crying. However, we have had our struggles and tried many different pieces of advice before we found what worked for us with sleeping. I am sure you will figure out something that works for you and your daughter.

Good Luck,
D.

Agree with the earlier bedtime suggestion. My 2 and 5 year olds are up at 7-7:30, but go down between 7-8. Also make sure you encourage a healthy nap. My 2 year old (3 in March) naps for about two hours most days, somewhere between 1-4. I wake him up by 4-4:30 so he can get to be in time. If he doesn't nap, it's best to try an earlier bedtime. This is hard stuff. Good luck!

My first thought when reading your post was that you need to put her to bed earlier- just like the other responses. She is probably crying because she is overtired. She needs at least 11 hours of nighttime sleep. My daughter goes to bed between 7 and 7:30- sometimes she talks for an hour, but she is in bed and wakes up around 7am. She takes a nap around 12:30/1:00 until 3:00 or 3:30 at the latest.
Hope this helps and good luck :)

get her a wind up mobile to keep her mind busy on watching and music to sooth her. of course leave a dim light on to slightly illuminate the room but gentle on her eyes so she gets sleepy. maybe you have a hallway by her room for the nightlight. Remember that being a mom is like being a doctor; trial and error until you get it figured out. come to think of it, it's harder to be a mom.

I agree with the other 2 posters- my daughter is a year younger than yours, 18 months, but if we put her to bed past 730, she cries anytime before, no crying. She generally sleeps 7-7. Not sure if your daughter still naps, but if not, I would definitely try the earlier bedtime but be warned after the 2nd comes, it will probably take her a while to get used to the crying and it will likely wake her up and she will cry. We have a 2 month old and he cries so infrequently that when he does, our daughter thinks there must be something wrong...we just let her cry for a few minutes and she goes back to sleep...we found going in her room to reassure her made it worse. Good luck.

Try putting her to bed earlier. 8:30 - 9:00 seems really late. You can always give Dr. Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" a try to learn why 8:30 - 9:00 is too late to put your kid to bed. I agree with the other mom; sounds like she is overtired, which is why you have a struggle on your hands.

Look for sleep cues, yawning, tugging the ear, warm hands (my mother-in-law told me this one; I thought she was nuts but it is a sure sign with our kid), getting clumsy, starting to get whiny or overly tantrum-ish. Once you see these, start up that bedtime train!

Hi S.

Our daughter is about 26 months old and we went through a week of this happening just 2 weeks ago. My husband puts her to bed between 8:00 and 8:15 after stories, milk, and hugs. She has been a great sleeper since she was 4 months old and so when she started crying for 30 minutes before she would go to sleep we were mystified. Basically all we did was talk to her about it during the day, and then every night before bed, we'd emphasize how well the characters in her story books fell asleep. She started saying "cry?" and then shake her head, no.
After a few days mentioning it during the day, in a reassuring way, (when she wasn't upset) she doesn't do it anymore. Now she wakes up in the morning and proudly annouces "no cry" and I praise the heck out of her for being so good. Just a thought-we never figured out why she was doing it but I suspect she's just afraid she will be missing all the fun because she has to go to bed.

I do agree that an earlier bedtime could help as well, but at this age they are beginning to really get that what they do affects others and their own happiness, so we just reason with her whenever we can. Good luck!

C.

Dear S.: The poor dear! Does she cry while you are holding her or is she by herself for the 30-45 minutes that it takes for her to settle down to sleep? If you are holding/rocking her, I would say just keep on keepin' on...she will eventually not need to cry at bedtime. You could try singing songs or talking softly to her as well. My daughter was very similar: we paced the floor with her or lay on the floor next to her bed many a night. She is now 3yrs, and while she often needs someone to sit with her for a few minutes when the lights first go out, she is getting better and better at not fighting sleep by crying or getting up. It's time-consuming and very tiring, but ultimately (according to all the attachment parenting literature) it is supposed to help give children a strong sense of security that they will carry with them into adulthood.

S.,
I would suggest trying an earlier bedtime too but another option would be to purchase the turtles/ that light up with the stars on the ceiling. My two year old sometimes would struggle with sleeping and since we have introduced the turtle he seems to be doing a lot better. It has a timer built in and will turn off by itself after 45 minutes and they are not to expensive around $30.00. you could also try some lightly misting her bed or pillow with lavender this is a calming sent and may help her sleep better. Best of luck

ugh! sleep problems are just unbearable! You've probably tried everything, but have you tried putting her to bed earlier? 8:30/9 seems late for someone that age who wakes up at 7. Maybe try putting her down around 7:30 or 8. Sometimes they are so overtired that they have a real problem settling down at night. If that doesn't help, I'd try to take the fear out of bedtime. Perhaps lay with her, hold her until she sleeps (I know this goes against the cry it out method)... I realize you've got another one coming soon, but giving this child what she needs at bedtime is critical for her learning to be okay with sleep at night. Another option would be to try all-natural melatonin chewable tablets from Trader Joe's. They taste like mint and naturally make people calm and ready for sleep. Our bodies produce melatonin, so the body easily recognizes and processes this product. Just some thoughts. I really hope that sleep becomes easier for your daughter. Good luck!

There have only been a hand full of times that I have had a hard time putting my little girl down. Usually it is because she is over tired. Most of the time she will talk for a 1/2 hour to an hour, if she is over tired. Her usual bedtime is up between 7am-7:30am. Then down for a nap between 12:30 and 1pm. She will sleep 2-3 hours. Then she goes to bed between 8-8:30pm. I may just be one of the lucky ones too. I will find out in a few months when my second one arrives, lol.

how long is her nap? maybe cut her nap short to make sure she is tired enough or push her bedtime to 9. Every child is different and not one thing works for each one. I hope you find a solution. My daughter always talks or sings for about 20-30minutes before she passes out at around 8:45 or 9 and sleeps till 7 or 7:30. she only takes a hour and half nap. I am not sure what to tell you but maybe she is afraid of the dark?

S. - I feel your pain! My son who is also 29 months was the same way. I wondered how long it would be before he would stop crying at night. I decided to put him to bed a 1/2 hour earlier and within a week he stopped crying. He still whimpers a bit, but that's over in a couple minutes.
Good luck!