Child Custody - Las Vegas,NV

I agree with Jennifer. As you said, you both want what's best for his boys. There is no question. The boys need their father. Trust me, no matter what custody/visitation arrangement you work out in which their mother has physical custody, if you move out of state those boys will feel abandoned and like their father chose his "new" family over them. It will stay with them the rest of their lives. You're a mother, you understand as well as anyone how quickly they grow up. Stay put for a few years and make his children a priority.

Dear friend,
I am going to give you some tough love right now and tell you to STOP! right now, just stop. You do not know how many second wives and third and fourth wives I have seen complaining about the step childrens mother, how they just let the kids run around hog wild and that their house has structure seriously they use the exact same wording you just did. You are not helping the situation at all with this attitude and if you tell me that the kids have no idea that you feel this way you are wrong Kids are very perceptive and I know that they can sense that you feel their mothers way of doing things is subpar compared to yours. You will not get anywhere with this attitude. You married this man KNOWING that this woman was always going to be a part of his life, and she is the childrens MOTHER you need to show absolute respect to this woman no matter what, and if there are serious issues with her parenting, which it does NOT sound like there is based on what you have said, then let your husband and the kids mom hash it out. Trust me right now you sound like you are somehow trying to make yourself feel like the more responsible "FIT" parent, and it does not make you look good. I know it's hard but maybe try to put yourself in her shoes just for a minute and see if maybe you can understand where she is coming from. It will be good for all of you , if your attitude toward this woman changes. I wish you luck and happiness for your entire family.

V.,

Unfortunately, no matter what kind of visiation order is in place you can't dictate what happens in her house. Her house is her house and as long as she is not putting them in any physical danger or abusing them, then there's nothing you can do. I know this from experience.

It's good that you care SO much, but you have to take a step back and look at what is best for the ENTIRE family as far as moving and visitation.

Do your husbands kids need the structure and support your side of their family provides them? I'm sure it is probably the best thing that they have at least one side that is based on a structure and rules. Since these are your husbands kids, what does he want to do? How does he feel about their living situation? These are things you really need to think about before you go back to court. Do you have an attorney to represent and speak for your side?

I've been to court now a few times, and it's so hard to wade through all the choices and paperwork, so I'd recommend getting legal advice of some kind before. My best money spent was getting a lawyer to help me with the language and what things were...it's so frustrating to figure out on your own.

As far as moving, I think you and your husband should sit down and think about a game plan. How will this affect everyone? What are the long term gains and losses? I think you are trying to do what's best for your family, but just make sure that in the long run your husband has no regrets about choices either way.

Good Luck!

V., i am in a very similar situation reguarding the kids, custody/court issues, difference in household structure, & employment...... I think if your husband is serious about working in cali, he should 1st look for employment giving the boys mom "temporary" full custody just in case nothing comes through. That (temporary custody) should be agreed upon in court during mediation or by the judge & be revisited in however many months (ask for another court date) u guys think it may take for him 2 secure emplopyment. If he does find employment in cali, then u guys can see if the boys can go with u or get them every holiday weekend, thanksgiving, xmas, spring, & summer vacation giving the mom support based on the time shared & money earned. Although u may feel that the boys r better off in your household because of the structure, that doesn't mean the boys mom is unfit in the courts eyes & will grant u guys full custody. Also, there is a great possibility that since they are boys & mom is the way she is, eventually they may end up being with their dad full time as they get older. That should help u be positive about the possible change in custody. I think your husband securing a stable job that will allow him 2 take care of his family is important, so ultimately u guys should do what's best for the entire family not just his boys. U can not stop your family's progress because of where the boys live or because their mom doesn't want to make things easy by being a coparent & cooperating. U gotta look at the big picture. Anyways, good luck & feel free 2 contact me if u wanna talk.

What a crappy situation to be in. You obviously need to whats best for the kids. Well, I live in California, and I can tell you that the unemployment rate here is through the roof. I can't exactly tell you what is going on in that line of work, but it doesn't look good.
There are thousands and thousands of homes going through foreclosure and short sales in the San Fernando Valley alone. So many people have lost their homes due to being laid off from their job. It's so sad! Is it possible to find out if the county you want to move to is hiring cops??
Otherwise, it sounds like it is in the best interest of the kids to try to get joint custody again. I wouldn't count of the move.
I wish you all the luck!

Absolutely do what you can do be with his children! As a parent, he must do what is best for the children, not a career or something out of convenience. His children need their dad, period. Especially if things at the mom's house aren't so great. Do not move out of state-then he loses what little control he has in the situation.It's bad enough they only get to visit him a few days a week. Imagine only seeing their dad only a few times a year. And how would they feel knowing their dad picked up and moved with four other kids, leaving them behind? If he is worried about her raising them due to neglect, he must/needs to go after sole physical custody. It will not be an easy road but it is the right thing to do for his boys.

I have several friends who grew up splitting school years and summers with parents who lived out of state.

School year + 2 breaks with one parent. (Thanksgiving, winter, or springbreak)
Summer + 1 school year break with the other parent. (Thanksgiving, winter, or springbreak)

Obviously the parent with the school year custody has more "control" over what's going on structure-wise...and the "summer parent" gets to do more of the "fun" stuff.

Do what is best for the kids. They need to be guided towards the right things. This will affect how they are when they become adults. Please think of them first.
Sue
Good luck with the job hunting.

How about just asking the kids what THEY want?