Circumcision- Another ?

Next time someone asks... Ask them if they are or significant other is and why?

No one really wants to tell someone else about themself or their significant others penises.

I am the grandmother of 2 precious little boys who's parents decided to leave intact. When I was having my children ( all 3 girls...so no decisions to make)there was NEVER any discussion...if you had a boy you just had him circumcised. Now...not so much...because NOW Moms and Dads are studying and asking questions and wondering WHY you need to get your little boy circumcised.
If you don't want to discuss this with your inlaws...or anyone else...it is your right to say "that is a decision that my husband and I will be making between the two of us and we would really be more comfortable if we didn't need to discuss it". And the rest of the world should respect your wishes. I will tell you that my daughters are VERY much against circumcision...(they are called "intactivists"...the folks that feel so strongly about it ). I don't know what your decision is...it's none of my business...but I hope that you have studied all aspects of it and made an informed decision for your little boy.

This really crazy thing happens when you get pregnant. People, be it family or complete strangers, think it is perfectly acceptable to ask the most personal questions.

Try to come up with some witty responses ahead of time.

I swear everyone and their brother was asking me if I was going to breastfeed, and it was really getting me mad. Finally, someone in our family asked me AGAIN and my husband said "Hey, when was the last time you had sex". They stopped dead in their tracks and he said "Yeah, inappropriate huh" ;-)

No one ever asked me but I agree, it is only you & your dh business!

Exactly! It's nobodys business but you and your husband!

Hi erika-

I actually 'avoided' answering your question earlier...so many people had 'prepped' you for RAGING opinions...lol

I have 4 sons...none circumcised...

Eldest was born in germany...emergency C...and to have him 'done' would have meant a trip to the 'army' docs NOT equipped to 'birth' him (long story)...but would have meant HIM being transported...before 'I' was released...

Any how...when stateside...had more sons...and having done the research (in a non emergent situation) I decided NOT to with other boys...seemed not necessary 'to me'.

When eldest was a teen...he asked about the procedure...(locker room issues I think)...and I took him...and next 'in line' brother to an appointment with a urologist...they BOTH decided not to pursue it...

HOWEVER...I never knew that MY father was intact til that issue arose...It came up...it was awkward... My dad was youngest of many...and he was a home birth as he was 'due' near X mas...his mom (and his nanny) declined to take him in (21 DEC birth)...

So...I never would have known all of this...had the issue never been addressed...

NOT anyone's business per se...BUT...people will 'share' given an opportunity...

Tell them to mind their own business...that it is between YOU and hubby...

And then...when 'they' share stories...be SURE to say (smile plastered ON face)..."Thank you for sharing"

And then change subject...

Works Like A Charm...for so many RUDE situations...

'Lather...rinse...repeat'

Best Luck!
Michele/cat

.

I don't know why, but it seems that when it comes to infants, people have no sense of privacy! Obviously, if your MIL will be changing his diaper, she will find out some day. Let her wait til then if you don't wish to discuss it with her ;-)

It's so interesting how everyone thinks it is their business! I think that when your son's diaper is full of poo you hand him off to one of the oh-so-curious family members so they can see for themselves whether or not he has been circumcised. They will probably decide that it's really not THAT important!
Just kidding :)
Seriously though, I have seen grown men require circumcision for medical reasons (google: paraphimosis) but the boy/man could certainly make that decision himself, and have it done with proper pain management. your infant boy will have his diaper changed so frequently that if there is a problem you will be aware of it immediately, so as others have mentioned, it's not necessary. But it is still your decision, and you have every right to maintain privacy if you wish.

Its funny how once people find out you are pregnant they are already super nosy with questions like:

Did you concieve naturally??
Are you having a boy/girl?
Your not gonna circumcise are you???
Are you breastfeeding?
Who is you ob?
When is your due date?
Are you gonna have a vaginal delivery or c-section???

I got asked all these questions and more only a few months after finding out we were pregnant. So, yes...the questions are unfortunately normal for people to ask and yes, they are private. If you don't want to answer---I just say the standard" I don't feel comfortable answering that" Or " Im not sure, we are discussing our options" OR " Excuse me, but that is really personal--why do you want to know????
It kind of puts them on the spot and they stammer and say...well, uh, I don't know...I guess....I don't ....then they get red in the face and walk away. --lol makes me laugh when I think about it--but girl, it works!!!!!

So, use those whenever you need to. Everyone is going to be up in your buisness whenever they get the chance. Answer what you feel comfortable with and tell them to back off with the rest.

M

My oldest is, my youngest isn't (because of problems at birth we weren't able to do it before he left the hospital). After a lot of research and appointments with a urologist, we decided to leave our youngest as is. If I would have had all this information with our oldest, he too would be uncircumcised. Yes, people will have their opinions (good and bad) - my SIL said it was freakish. You're the parent - do what you feel is best for your children. Do what you can to educate people but some you just can't reach and you shouldn't worry about that. Most people in the US are clueless when it comes to this issue and they just assume.

When people ask you outlandish nosy questions, answer the way you want to.
You can either tell them of your decision or you can tell them it's really none of their business.
I'd be honest, that's just me.
Yep, we decided for/against the circ. Let them say their piece. And again I say "WHO CARES what others think about what you do"?

Bottom line is that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. I've never been 'cornered' about whether or not my kids were circumcized. They weren't. The 2 oldest were born overseas where it is only done when requested, otherwise not. My youngest...well I figured if the other 2 weren't, why should he be? It isn't a big deal unless your faith demands it and you follow the standards of that faith. (Not that the practice actually makes a difference according to conviction. ) None of them had trouble with it. Any troubles were unrelated to it. Never any UTI's.
Same with nursing. It really ISN'T anyone else's business. I heard more about it than circumcision! My choice how to feed my babies. Feeding them was more important than HOW.
But I think it's out of the ordinary to ask about circumcision. Don't recall anyone asking me.

No it's really not anyone's business but it seems like there is nothing that people won't ask nowadays. It's okay to let people know that you don't consider that information for discussion or you'll let them know when you've made up your mind. Our families didn't ask beforehand, but then we didn't announce the sex beforehand either. Afterward, a few people - my mom, one sister, MIL asked if we'd had it done. This was 12 years ago. I was impressed that they realized that this wasn't something that everyone has done and parents make an informed choice about - especially impressed that my Jewish family reailzed this. No one was looking to tell us what to do, I guess they were just curious - well except for Dh's father's girlfriend who had no idea that this was not recommended by the medical community anymore and that many parents opted not to have this surgery for their newborns.
Good luck

There are many strong opinions out there, which is why many people feel very strongly about making sure one is done for the child. But it is definitely not anyone's business!! Nor should people be arguing with you one way or another if you've made a decision.

This is a boundary issue. If people bring it up, let them know that you all have made a decision and would appreciate if they did not bring it up anymore. How you respond will make a huge impact. Keeping cool and calm will defuse the situation the best (though with some personalities - not completely). Refusing to argue and changing the subject is the best way to handle others if they don't respect your request of not bringing it up anymore. If you stay calm and change the subject enough, they will get the hint, eventually. :)

Best wishes!

My mom was very interested, and I thought it was weird. After I went on to tell her that I appreciated her opinion, but my husband and I had already talked at length about it an made our decision, she proceeded to tell me a very personal story about my step-dad having to have a circumcision in his teens. Ahhhh...!!!!Lalalalal!!! Why are you telling me this!!?? (lol!!))

Your MIL is not just some lady off the street, but is your baby's grandmother so I think she has every right to make this her business. Obviously she realizes this is not her decision but it is out of love and the wisdom she's gained through her life that she asks and perhaps offers her take on this big decision. You guys can take or leave her advice but babies are born into a family so they can have their say then the parents decide.

no, it really isn't anyone elses business, but people will still have an opinion. My son is not and I had friends tell me even when he was a year old that we should still have it done. My son did get UTI's starting at 7 weeks old. We went to see a urologist and they did a VCUG on him and everything was fine. The urologist told us that he will grow out of it by the time he is a year old. He never had a UTI ever again. He is 4 years old now. Just make the right decision for yourself. You don't even have to tell anyone or talk about it with anyone but your husband. People will ask you, but you can just say "I'm not really comfortable talking about this"

In my family, no one asks...it is assumed that it will be done. That said, it is up to you and your hubby. I would say "we haven't made that decision yet and really, don't plan to "share" our decison with anyone". Of course, anyone who changes his diaper for you will know AND could share w/ the other nosy family members.