Communion...the Dress

Personally, I would choose 3-4 styles that I could live with, and let her choose from that selection.

Middle ground seems the way to go. You pick a few princess dresses that you are okay with and then let her pick one out of those.

You can forgo the veil, right?

So long as it conforms with your particular parish's guidelines I would let her pick the dress of her liking.

I would suggest that you choose 3 dresses that meet your standards, and then let her choose her favorite of the 3. That way you both get what you want. :-)

I would let her pick the one she wants. When my daughter had her communion, I fought tooth and nail over the veil. In the end that was the one thing SHE really wanted. So I said fine.
The end result...omg she was beautiful and I am glad she picked the dress and the veil for her special moment.
Have fun with this.
Many blessings

(when my son had his, he looked darling in dress pants and a sports jacket)

I would let her make the choice. Honestly as long as it is within the Parish guidelines it is OK. Remember it is HER Communion and HER Special Day and SHE has to wear it NOT YOU.

I had 2 daughters have their FHC on the same day and their dresses were polar opposites and neither was my taste but they were in guidelines and our budget and it made them happy.

We are also looking at the tradition low frou-frou dresses and plain white mary janes. I wish that our parish would impose some guidelines other than white dresses and veils for the girls and collared shirt/tie & slacks for the boys.
That said, I think that it is possible to allow your daughter to have a dress that is both frilly and age-appropriate. Chances are that she won't have a ton of opportunities in life to fully indulge her inner gypsy without feeling self-conscious. I'd draw the line at 20 petticoats and 100 crystals tho ; ) There are many online stores that seem to specialize in really blingy First Communion dresses and if you live in a city where there are large discount malls, there is tyically at least one brick and mortar store with this style. Buy a handful that you can stand, let her try them on, twirl, and then return all but the one she loves the best.
I'm ordering 5 simple dresses and doing the same. My issue is the veil. I wanted a very simple handkerchief and headband style that I saw online and it's not happening. Sigh...Honestly, I hate the veil that my mother bought and expects Chickpea to wear this spring. It is very frou-frou. (She did the same thing with the lace & fake pearl baptismal gown. Bought it and then I had to use it or wound her feelings FOR EVAH AND EVAH). However, I am going to bite my tongue because I care less about the dress and more about the spiritual part. And when I look at the pictures, I focus on our happy faces and not the dress.
The same while happen for you whether you go plain or blingy.

Honestly I felt the same way as you and when it came around, I thought my daughter who never puts on a dress to save her life would relish the simple dress that I found (inexpensive too). NOPE she wanted this full length mini bride dress and was crushed when I didn't want to get it. I tried to talk her out of it, but she really loves going to church and religious education and so I let her pick the dress and was able to get the sample dress at a reasonable price and she was so happy and looked beautiful in the dress.

I say let her pick her dress, it is just one day.

I used to be a DRE at a Catholic Church. The spring after I got enganged one of the girls in the First Communion class was wearing my flower girl's dress. My first thought? Holy shnighkies, that dress costs $125! My flower girls wore $15 dresses I found at Sears instead (and they looked adorable!)

If you think you're going to go the flower girl route, I would shop the clearance rack.

http://www.lidachildren.com/#/home

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Communion

5526, got this for her baptism. We're not catholic but the kids wear white when they get baptized.
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Flower girl, they almost always come in white too.

804 we have this dress in lilac, blue, and pink. The white we saw might have been ivory though. It was still beautiful. She wears these to church all the time. I got them in different sizes so she will have one for several years. They are fuller than a regular A-line but not nearly as frou frou as some of the dresses for the younger set.

811 white with red bows, the bows have snaps on them and can be changed out. She was asked to wear this dress in a wedding on Valentines Day. We loved that we could change out the bows. I simply made some bows and a matching sash with satin and put a snap on the back, easy to change the whole look of the dress.

837 white and we changed out the flowers for some dark pink ones. It is truly simply but lovely.

6271 this dress is gorgeous in every color combination. We tried it on in ivory with red, white with blue, white with pink and we did love it a LOT. It was a good fit but it was slightly snug in the waist. She's thin so i would make sure to try the dress on to make sure it's a good fit. It was "my" favorite of all the Lida dresses.

7361 in the dark red, it's her favorite dress. She's worn it in one pageant and to one daddy daughter dance. She wore it to the church Christmas party this year too.
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I love the Lida brand. I have had such good luck with them. I can toss them in the washer on hand wash then hang them up to dry. Almost all of them are washable. A couple of them might be dry clean only.

We found a great little store that carried them for years. If you know anyone that has a store they can get these for you by special order. They aren't horribly priced either.

Meet her in the middle. Let her pick from several you have chosen (after she tries them on, because a dress looks different when it's on a person than when it's on a hanger). Let her have a little bling and a little big - just not overmuch. She doesn't need to look like her sister to look appropriate, so let her have a little of the fun stuff she likes. She will go to her first communion with a smile on her face, and that's priceless.

Allow her to pick her dress with a little bit of mom's discretion. Ask her to pick 5 dresses she likes. You pick 3 you like, then ask her to try the three on.

Pick the best fitting dress.

Decide what your budget is and any firm considerations that you or the church won't budge on (length, sleeveless, etc) and then let her make the decision from that. Everyone gets a little something out of it.

My daughter will be having her first communion next year. It never occurred to me to let her pick her own dress.

Two of my nieces made First Communion last year (two different states). The dress were all over the place. I, too, like little girls to look like little girls. I would narrow it down to a few you like and then let her pick the winner:) My SIL and sister said Macy's and Nordstrom's had a good selection last year.

Before you tell her "you can pick your dress" or anything else, please be sure to talk to your parish (assuming here that you are Catholic...?). I'm not Catholic but I know that from place to place there can actually be rules about these dresses. One mom told me that her priest was strict about what was permitted, and the church required that the dresses have long sleeves and the skirt had to be below the knee and the girls were required to have a certain type of veil. Others have said their churches didn't have formal requirements other than that the dress be modest, but did expect all girls to have a veil, or to cover shoulders and knees, etc. I would really ask someone at your church first. Even if there are not formally set rules, there may be unwritten expectations -- for instance, "Around here no girls really use veils" or "It's not required but every other girl will turn up in a veil and yours will feel left out if she doesn't have one" or whatever.

Ask the catechism teacher or whoever is the appropriate person who will know for certain about both rules and expectations. You wouldn't want to tell your child she gets to choose, only to find out later that "Oh, no one wears cap sleeves -- they always cover their arms" or things like that, which would disappoint or even upset her.

If there are no formal rules, do still talk to parents of some older girls who have already done this. And -- search at good consignment shops, resale shops, etc. I have seen tons of these kinds of dresses in our local huge resale shop -- worn only once and in perfect condition.

Hey, my husband didn't care for the practice of having baby boys in mini tuxedoes for their baptism, so we had our son dressed in a gown (mine from the 70's). Do what works for you collectively.

Best,
F. B.

I'd give her a choice of 2 or 3 pre-chosen (by you) contenders.
The "mini bride" look creeps me out too.

I am like you and I like my little girls to look like little girls. Because there is religious significance to this occasion I would go with a more modest dress and then let her add some bling with the crown or veil, gloves, and purse.

Can't it be a surprise gift from you to her?