hi K., we will always compare our kids, just like we compare everything else about ourselves. it is so sad, but from day one we are trained to do this, especially as women. and what is there in life that we care about more than our kids? nothing, which is why it is our most vulnerable point, there is nothing we strive for more than to be the best mom we can be, and we dont always get the support and encouragement we need. its very hard to be a first time mommy, we need so much reassurance. boards like this are really very helpful for that. after i had my first baby, i spent a lot of time on a breastfeeding message board, and those women really saved me. get positive, supportive people around you, especially moms. it really is up to you. you know that you are doing a great job, your son is happy and healthy, right? so you have to realize and get in the mindset that all children are different, that is what makes each of them so special! he will take longer to do some things, and shorter for others. and if you always compare him to kids that have older siblings, he will probably be "behind" them in many areas, thats just what happens when a kid has to keep up with another sibling, like you said. its not a reflection on your son at all. the range of "normal" is sooo wide, especially as babies because they learn and change so much every single day. they are doing a lot of hard work, physically and mentally, they cant do it all at once. a baby learns more in the first 3 years than they will the whole rest of their lives. think about how hard that is. some areas have to take a back seat. next will come those milestone charts, i swear, just another tool to make us insane, for the most part. these things should be a loose guideline. keep up with your regular doc appts. are you confident in your pediatrician? do they ask development questions at your visits? if so, dont worry too much, and dont compare. (easier said than done, i know) and if there is a development issue that YOU are really concerned about, just talk to your doc. i am expecting my 3rd baby soon, and i still call the pediatrician all the time, with every stupid little question. thats what they are there for, and they should never ever make you feel stupid for asking anything. a good pediatrician is worth their weight in gold, if you dont have a great one, get one. be confident, you are doing great. and as for all those people who are always comparing, just smile like that other mom said. they mean well (mostly), and they are insecure just like the rest of us. best of luck to you, D.