Coping with Going Back to Working Full Time

I am a teacher and will have to return after the holidays...so I feel your pain. If you ever want to talk...we can cry to eachother...###-###-####.

Now that you know what your heart's desire is -- to stay home. Make that your plan -- your goal. Start saving. Start trimming your family finances. There are SO many things we can do without -- sacrifice... or get a smaller/less expensive version of (home, car) -- in order to stay home.

When I found out I was pregnant with baby #1, we trimmed our budget dramatically and pretended to live on my husband's income alone to see if we could do it. We banked my paycheck for 9 months in savings. It was hard -- we had to say no to lots of fun stuff to buy - fun places to go... but we did it! and we had lots in savings to helps us! And it proved to us that we CAN live on my husband's income. So I know then, that staying at home was possible.

I remember growing up, and begging my mom to stay home with me... but she would say she couldn't afford to do it - that she had to work. It didn't make sense to me because I had friends who were worse off than us (they didn't go on vacations; didn't get all the expensive toys I got).... yet, their mothers stayed home with them. Now, I know how that happened. Their families had rearranged their budgets to make staying at home a priority for the family.
Their spending was WAY different from my mom/dad's - but they were happy!

That's how I live my life now. We don't have a big, new home, but it's a home that I love and we have no worries about making the mortgage on my husband's income alone. Now after staying home for 5 yrs with my son (and expecting our 2nd now), God has blessed my husband even more with more raises/promotions and now we have extra in the budget to do fun things/buy fun things.

SAHM is a sacrifice for most and it takes discipline not to spend and go overboard. But both husband and wife must be on board for that. My husband is very supportive of this decision. In fact, he's told me that he would work 2 jobs, give up one family car (only have one) before I had to go back to work. It means that much to us -- so our kids won't have to be raised by strangers.

So if it's truly your heart's desire to stay home and you and your family are willing to make the sacrifices necessary -- it can be done!! You can do it! It may just take a few months to get things in order for it to happen for you .... get less expensive cars.... perhaps sell your home to buy a smaller mortgage home or rent (remember this is just temporary until hubby's income improves a little - which it will - raises/promotions will happen more if he doesn't have to take off work all the time to care for sick kids at home - you'll be home to do that).... trim the cable bill/ cellphone bills/ -- perhaps you don't need a cellphone or you don't need cable.
I don't know your budget or your circumstances.... but unless you're a single mom... or if your husband doesn't approve.... you can do this. I know many SAHMs on many different incomes/family budgets. Anyone can make it happen.
There are many books on this subject to help you get your finances in order.... search on amazon for some.
Don't let money be the only thing to stand in the way of having your heart's desire to be home with your baby.

I know how you feel. I didn't think I could bear leaving my baby. It was hard, but at the end of each day it was so great when her little face lit up when she saw me. If you have a good childcare situation it always makes things better. We have simply had to be very intentional about how we spend our time to make sure that the few hours we have with the kids are good hours. It means we've had to say "no" to some social engagements and back out of certain responsibilities, but in the end it's been best for our family that we weren't over-committed. I won't lie and say you just get over it. There are always times when you'll feel torn. You just have to take those as they come, and assess each one individually to decide where your time needs to be spent.

I know exactly how you feel K.. I have three children, 13, 11 and 2. With my first two, besides being so young, I had to work and had no time built up. I was still going to college. I took off a little over a month with my daughter and barely 3 weeks with my son. I just had to support my family. I am in my 30's when I had my youngest son, I had been on the job for almost 5 years and had over 2 months saved up in paid leave. I took 2 1/2 months off and I was like you and didn't want to go back. I have to work too, but it broke my heart to leave my son. I enjoyed so much staying and watching him grow those first couple of months that I didn't do with my older two. The good thing is you know that he's in good hands. Maybe your situation will change that you will be able to stay at home with him. I'll tell you something, it will make the moments you are together that much more special. Just think you have the summers off too, that has to be great.
God Bless You!
You are in my prayers.

K.,
I just did the same thing TWICE!! I stayed home w/my little girl until she was 8 months, and then I had my 2nd baby this past June(they are 18 months apart), and I stayed home w/him for 13 weeks! My husband is a teacher, and w/out my income we could not make it! I know how you feel, but it does get better! I think constantly about things I could cut out of our lives so that I could stay home, but it never pans out!! You do have several benefits from being a teacher too....you get out earlier than most 8 to 5ers and you get longer vacations...there is a bright side, but I do know how you feel...nobody can take care of your baby like you do, but hopefully you have found somebody that you trust and that will love your baby! Good luck!! Summer's right around the corner... =)

K.,

I know your desire is to stay at home with your baby.

What if I was able to offer you an opportunity to work something along side your regular job and eventually replace your income so you can go back to staying at home full time? Would it at least be worth hearing about? What if it was able to bring you home?

I'd love to sit down for about 20 to 30 minutes and talk with you about it sometime.

Take care and God bless!

M.

I don't have any advice, but I know how you feel. I was a teacher like you, and it was so hard to go back. I had to work for 3 years, and although I liked my job and my child care arrangement, I hated having to go to work if that makes any sense at all. IT will get easier as you go. Those long periods were always hard to return. Just remember, you're a teacher, so you'll still have your breaks!

My heart is with you! I am able to stay home now, but when my first was born, I was only 18! I was still in high school and working overnight at waffle house to survive. She was only 6 weeks old when I had to take her daycare so that I could get my high school diploma, and I hated every minute of it! Thankfully, after a few weeks, I knew she was in a good place and I knew that I was doing the best for my baby by graduating high school.
She is now an 8 year old, happy, healthy, straight A student who loves her little baby sister!
I know it's hard, but if you find the right people/person to take care of your baby boy, it'll be a good thing.

I know how hard it is. My son is 3 1/2 and I have a hard time leaving my son at home and not being there at 11 when he gets home.
Have you thought of taking care of kids in your own home so you can be home w/your baby. That way your'll be home w/baby and saving on daycare.
Hope this helps.
M.