Cosleeping with 9 Month Old While Pregnant

I, too, was surprised to find out I was pregnant with our third while still nursing our second who was sleeping in our king bed or in a little extension on the side of the bed. Try to imagine what life was like many years ago, before it got so complicated with options. Families slept together...nothing perverted...just wholesome sleeping and bonding. When baby was hungry, mom nursed him. It was natural and accepted.
I nursed the second baby the whole time I was pregnant and kept nursing them both for years after the birth of number three. The boys were 4 1/2 years old each when they weaned. It was not traumatic for them. They both slept in our bed until they graduated to a bigger bed that they shared with eachother before graduating to beds of their own. It was all natural and graceful. One of the benefits of nursing two at once is...it takes constant eating to provide enough nourishment for three. If you feel something is right for you and your babies and the people you know don't support your choices, find new people to associate with. You may want to call La Leche League for support. Women encouraging women, it's a good thing.

Wow!! What a handful you have...and will have! I don't really have any tips for co-sleeping since my 8 month old is very comfy in our bed, but I might have some advice for weaning the breastfeeding. It will be very hard to wean him from nursing in the middle of the night as long as he's sleeping with you. I actually just asked my son's Dr about this because he still nurses every 3 hours at night. She said the only people she knows who have been successful at getting their child to give up middle of the night feedings are people who let their child cry themselves back to sleep without feeding them. I personally think that's harsh...if my baby is waking up because he's hungry then he needs to eat. Anyway, to wean him from the breast you're supposed to eliminate one feeding a week (I think it's one feeding every 4 days to be exact). You're supposed to start with whatever feeding he cares the least about. For my son that would probably be his morning or noontime feeding. Then after he's used to getting a bottle or sippy for that feeding you do the next least favorite feeding...basically you save his favorite feeding for the last week of weaning. Unfortunately, to do this, you're gonna have to pump or use formula :( There's just no way around that. We put our son to sleep in his own room during naptime and occasionally we put him to bed in there and just bring him to our room when he wakes up...having him sleep in his own room didn't affect how frequently he woke up at night. Still every 3 hours. The only other piece of advice I have is to make sure that you are doubling up on your prenatal vitamins, folic acid, and calcium. Right now you have two little ones stealing all of your nutrients...so it's important you take extras (especially calcium!!) so there's some left for mommy!! Getting extra nutrients might also help you have more energy. Sadly, breastfeeding being a good source of birth control is somewhat of a myth :( I'm scared to death of getting pregnant anytime soon!! Good luck!!

i have 3 kids 20 months apart (all teenagers now). First one slept between us in bed. 2nd one came took off the side of the crib and pushed it up against the bed in the 2nd one's room. somehow before my 3rd was born i found myself sleeping with the 2nd on top of me going "oh my goodness waht is going to happen when the baby comes". somehow the oldest we convinced that he had to be in his own room for pre-k (which he started at 3 1/2). moved the big bed in the 3rd's room with the crib. funny thing: the 2nd was so happy to have a little toddler bed and her room to herself. the big bed was never used in the 3rds room. if the boys (1st and 3rd are boys) woke up at night they didn't go to the mommy daddy room anymore they went the girl's room and tried to squash in bed with her!

* notes: 1st boy nursed all night ate nothing in the day, i kept may old college fridge by the bed and stocked it with bottles, then milk...somehow he never had a cavity and managed to grow to 6'2" so far. but... he still likes me to put him night-night, feed him in the middle of the night....and is basically...spoiled, but a great kid. the other 2 can actually put themselves to bed when tired.
before the 3rd husband refused to cosleep anymore, so i did have to bed hop.
i also never let my kids cry (i didn't have the heart and figured it was a waste of my energy. i'd have to burp, feed...all over again)

bottom line is, you really have no idea the reaction of the 2nd one will be with the new addition. and even preparing (weaning, bedroom changes) may be totally different when whatever happens in the middle of the night. Best i can offer is make a comfortable spot in every room for yourself because you don't know where you will end up at which hour. you may find yourself sleeping in at least 2 different room on any given night.

Hi T.,
Yes, I've done it enough now to be considered an "expert" I think. :)

We are sharing our family bed with a nursing toddler and a nursing infant...and this has been our usual pattern with all of our 7 babies. That's right, I've been doing this double co-sleeping thing for almost 15 years...and I'm living proof that it works. We love it!

My research (both book research and living research on real life children) has taught me that all babies 3 years and under have a natural, deep-rooted need to be with their mommies during the night. Now some babies have an "interruption" in their development which interferes with the natural rhythm of cosleeping (this could be a trauma of some sort or a premature weaning or other challenge) and they may not fit this mold. But on average, babies thrive with their mommies beside them, becoming more secure, confident, and independent in the daytime and later at night as well. My older kids couldn't be more independent and confident than they are, and now the oldest ones are happy, mature, compassionate teenagers. I'm so pleased!

So, all this is to say...follow your heart and invest in your babies! Sure there is some sacrifice and selflessness involved, but the pros so outweigh the cons (just like breastfeeding!) and the rewards are huge!

There are lots of good resources online and in the bookstore to help with the Art of Cosleeping. It's also great to get together with other like-minded moms to share mutual support and encouragement.

Give yourself permission to relax and get used to having little ones in close proximity at night. This seems to be very much a mental exercise. Full acceptance leads to deeper relaxation which leads to better sleep. (My hubby and I don't even notice movement and noises anymore...I've trained myself to sleep through it all!) :) When you really believe in what you're doing (I wish I had time to list the 20+ benefits of cosleeping!) it helps you embrace the experience and find deep fulfillment in it.
Here's my favorite website: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/
with tons of support and encouragement!
And 2 of the best books I know of are: Dr. Sears' The Baby Book and Sheila Kippley's Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing (http://www.amazon.com/Breastfeeding-Natural-Child-Spacing.... These 2 books changed my life and made me the joyful mommy I am today!

Congratulations & Best wishes! You'll be in my prayers. :)

L.

you can do it. My 2 are 14.5 months apart, it'll be ok. Start getting him into a night time routine. keep it simple but consistent. The same time every night, the same thing, for us it was brush teeth(once they had them), night diap, pj's and a story, good night moon is a good one for even the youngest child. then nurse and put 'em down when they are groggy, but not fully asleep. I always told my kids they were in their safe place. I was not comfortable with co-sleeping for a lot of reasons and being pregnant, I could not imagine. Give it a week. Babies thrive on consistency. it makes them feel safe. 8pm is still high holy bedtime. My 3yo daughter has just moved into a big girl bed and when I tucked her in and told her she was in her safe place, she said "but there's no bars on it" like her crib/toddler bed. I explained that it was her new safe place and she's doing great.

remember, basic needs first, sleeping, eating, pottying, even for mommy.

Hi T.,
I found out I was pregant with my second child when my daughter was 7 months old while I was still breastfeeding... the first thing my OGBYN told me to do was stop breastfeeding immediately! She said that it is near immpossible for your body to support 2 babies at the same time; either your child breastfeeding will not get all the proper nutrients or the same for your expecting baby. So that would be my first recommendation, for the safety & health of your children!!! I had endless discussions with her pediatrician & was told Similac is the closest formula to breastmilk. She did like the formula... I understand your prediciment about him not drinking from a bottle; but if he will drink from a cup (even in the middle of the night) let him! I think that is more of a blessing than you realize at the moment... it isn't easy to wein a baby from a bottle! And as long as he is getting the proper nutrition, I think that is a wonderful thing for you.
As far as co-sleeping, my question to you is this... does he sleep in his crib for his daytime naps or does he need you by his side in the same bed? If he does than you may just have to listen to him cry for a few minutes in order for him to get to sleep on his own in his own environment. I recommend the book, Healthy Sleeping Habits, Healthy Baby... it is a great book that I used to try to get my daughter to sleep through the night.
Good luck, I know that it none of these tasks are easy to do, let alone be pregant & have high emotions to add to it! But once everything gets settled, you will be able to focus on your pregnancy & getting both of your children ready for the new addition!

I really don't have experience in this department, but you can do it. I would say that if you do not want to co-sleep with baby number 2 when baby number 3 arrives then start to transition baby #2 into their crib. First in your room, since you are still nursing and then gradually into their room. If you want to co-sleep then do it. I do not feel that their is a right or wrong way, whatever works for you and your family. My 2 year old almost 3 still sleeps with me and absolutely refuses to sleep in his own bed. It works for us. Good luck with everything and I think its great to keep nursing, not only the health benefits but the bonding and not to mention you save so much money on not having to buy formula!! GOOD LUCK!! :)