Crushed... Breastfeeding Is NOT Going Well at ALL...

I know how you feel. I had a hard time producing enough for my 2nd child and was so torn up about it. I did hear drinking a beer helps produce milk and that worked for me. Good luck and try to look on the bright side. At least you have a healthy baby.

Have you tried one of the hospital grade breast pumps. They work so much better and faster then the store bought ones.

There are worse things in life. My 3 year old is terminally ill and was never able to breast feed because he just didn't have the strength to latch on. At first not being able to breastfeed was devastating, but I have moved on from that "loss" and appreciate the things I CAN do for him to keep him loved, healthy, and safe! Do what you can for your baby, and focus on all the positives you provide for him...if he is growing and healthy, count your blessings, move on, and don't sweat the small stuff! Appreciate your healthy baby...and know that there are moms out there that would give EVERYTHING up (including their owns lives) if it meant their child could be healthy like yours!! :)

p.s. Most of the adult population of the US were bottle-fed with formula that doesn't even come close to the nutrition formulas offer today (like DHA and probiotics)...and we are all doing just fine!!! :)

Why are you pumping first thing in the morning? Does he not take milk from your breast? I've found that the sucking motions a baby does is COMPLETELY different from the pumping motions of a pump.
When my son would latch on the milk would come down within a minute or two, but if I tried to pump it would take much longer and I wouldn't get as much out.
If you have to pump and can't breastfeed, then try stimulating your other nipple while pumping. This could start milk letdown and really help with getting it out.
Good luck!

I can totally relate. I wasn't able to BF either of my children (for different reasons). I cried so hard when I realized I wouldn't be able to do it for my 1st born. She was losing weight and I had no choice. What I ended up doing is bottle feeding and then breast feeding right after the bottle. We both got to bond and she was getting some milk from me, too. What also helped is realizing that my bothers were bottle fed and I was breast fed and I can honestly say I don't think there is any difference in our health, our intelligence or anything else claimed to be the advantage of breast feeding. Best of luck to you!

Don't give up! There are so many factors that are individual for each and every person. Do you nurse at night? During the night? If so, that may be why your breasts aren't as full first thing in the morning. Try pumping at a different time in the day. Is your son gaining weight? If so, then he's getting enough breastmilk and you're doing fine. Why are you pumping? Do you work? Is it just to have a little extra in the freezer? If you can, stop pumping altogether. Just nurse your baby on demand. At 2 months you should be nursing at about 2 hour intervals for 15-30minutes at a time. My girls were both itty bitty, so they would nurse about every hour and a half for about 10 minutes at a time. There are lots of supplements out there that claim to increase milk production. The BEST thing you can do is to nurse on demand. What kind of a pump do you have? Manual or electric? What's the brand? If you're using and inferior pump, you won't get as much milk. Also, pumping in general produces less milk than nursing.

Don't let the person that said they were starved at a baby scare you. It's incredibly difficult to starve your baby if you're nursing on demand. Almost impossible. Make sure that you are eating extra calories, about 2400 a day, drinking TONS of water, at least 8-10 glasses, and relax! I'm sure you're doing just fine.

To see if your son is completely emptying your breasts when he's nursing, squeeze your breast and nipple when he's done. If milk still comes out, then you're not totally empty, which means your body is making plenty of milk. If both breasts are empty and your son is satisfied, your body is making enough milk. If both breasts are empty and he's still hungry, try pumping for 15 minutes. You may not get anything out, but it will stimulate your breasts to make more milk. Do that after every feeding until your supply increases.

If you have any questions PLEASE FEEL FREE TO MESSAGE ME!

Pumping for an hour can be part of the problem. Why are you pumping such a long period of time. Have you tried pumping 10 mins every hour for a day or two (pumping every two hours at night)? Also, are you putting your son to your breast to nurse? Your body will always respond better to your baby than to a machine.

Have you seen a lactation consultant? Called your local La Leche League? They tend to be militant, but you could still meet with them or use the online support to help figure out what is going on without having to conform to their total philosophy.

Please don't give up. While formula obviously can be used, it in no way compares to your milk which was designed specifically for your baby. It took 7 weeks for my milk to even come in with my son...so even at this point, your body can adapt and your production can increase.

R.:

CONGRATULATIONS on your newest member of your family.

Now, take a deep breath. Stress is the biggest reason our bodies do not produce milk.

1. What kind of breast pump do you have? One should NOT have to pump for one hour - that's just too much. Medela is a great pump (I used mine for almost 4 years) if it's battery operated - the pull might not be strong enough. If the pump is older from one of your other children - you might need to buy or rent a new one.

2. QUIT stressing and beating yourself up. Get sleep - you don't state how old your others are - but your boyfriend/partner should take the baby for a few hours so you can sleep. Ask the older children to pitch in too.

3. Drink plenty of water - decrease your caffeine intake (coffee, tea, soda, etc.) as that will affect your ability to produce milk - especially since you are soooo stressed.

4. Talk to your doctor about the possibility of post-pardum depression - if you are feeling guilty over this - you may be experiencing post-pardum depression...and that's OKAY - but before you sink even lower, get help.

5. TAKE A DEEP BREATH!!! YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!! Really - anyone who is concerned about being able to breastfeed their baby is a GREAT mom!!! You are beating yourself up and it's NOT necessary.

Have your boyfriend/partner take the baby so you can take a break and sleep. You need to make sure you are getting enough sleep. If that can't happen - do you have friends or family nearby that can come over and help you? I'm about 2 hours north of you - sorry - or else I'd come over to give you a break.

Now, take a deep breath again!! You are doing GREAT!!! Don't beat yourself up!!

I was not successful breastfeeding either one of my children. I understand how you feel. You ARE grieving a loss and it's okay to feel that way. I cried big tears when I gave up breastfeeding my first child (my daughter) because I felt like I was depriving her. It was so hard because I was so sure I wanted to do it, but failed miserably. The good news is that, now that I have experienced NOT breastfeeding my children (I failed again with my second child, my son), I've realized that I can still be a wonderful mother to my children and still bond with them in so many ways, even when bottle feeding. It was hard to accept and it was a learning experience, but now that I've been through it, I want to encourage you that you'll get through it too.

You're upset for a reason and that's normal. But just remember that, if it turns out that you have to bottle feed, you can still care for and bond with your child in amazing ways. And, at least for me, I found that when I took away the stress of desperately trying to breastfeed when it wasn't working, I was more sane and therefore more able to fully care for my children. It's a disappointment and a transition, but you will get through it and your son will be just fine. How blessed he is to have a mom who wants to bond with him and give him the best!

B.

i went through this and then i found out my baby was crying all the time because she was starving. turns out my mother starved me, too. i was very upset at the loss. and grieving is totally appropriate. however, i soon realized that giving up breastfeeding so early was just the start of all the ways that my experiences with my daughter were going to be different than i expected. i chose to use as much of the energy i was spending trying to get things to work out as i had planned and spend that energy on what i had. an amazing, beautiful and brilliant, bottle-fed little girl.

Rachael,
The breastfeeding center on K st in DC is the best resource I can give you other than a La Leche League leader. I have sent many of my doula clients there with great success. Being a hypnotherapist, I have had great results with hypnosis for increasing milk supply. I would also suggest going to www.tubsntea.com and ordering the nursing mom's tea. This is a website of a midwife who wildcrafts her own herbs. The quality is superb, and service is quick.
Hope this helps.
L. M.

There was a big difference between nursing my first and second child. With the first I was always engorged and had a freezer full of extra milk. With the second, I think my body had gotten better at making just the right amount for the baby and I wasn't able to pump any extra and was never engorged. I think you make the milk pretty much on demand and the pump just didn't demand correctly, but the baby got what she needed and we nursed until she was 2 years old. So, is your son content after nursing? If so, you must be making enough for him at that time.

If you're away from him for work or something, maybe you'll have to use formula for those times. But you can still nurse him whenever you are together.

Hi... I feel your pain as I had a lot of difficult breastfeeding for the first 2 months (although my problems were from latch and pain issues rather than supply).

A couple of thoughts... do you need to pump to supplement because you are away during the day? If you bypass the pump and put the baby directly on, is the flow better? It seems like most of the info I've come across emphasizes that direct nursing is the best way to stimulate milk production. I know my supply always seems to diminish if I pumped too much.

Also, are you getting enough to eat? If you're taking care of 3 kids, keep in mind that you're probably expending a lot of calories already...

This may sound really silly, but my good friend had a problem getting milk when she was pumping, and she finally realized that the pump was set too low... I'm assuming you've changed the settings (it sounds like you've been doing all you can), but is it possible that you overlooked that?

One thing that helped me was to focus on short term goals, and take things a little at a time. My hope was always to not have to feed any formula, but given the problems I had the first 2 months, I would just say to myself, I'm just going to try to make it to the end of this day. Then to the end of the week, etc. I made it all the way to 9 months, and after my little boy went on a permanent nursing strike, I was able to pump for another several months, and ended up meeting my personal goal.

And don't beat yourself up - you are obviously trying very hard, and doing your best for your son... that's all you can do. The guilt and struggle could be affecting your supply. If I was in your shoes, I would really just try to take it one day at a time. Try to celebrate the accomplishment of having breast-fed for 2 months - that's a lot longer than so many people!

take care...

Hey, Oh i feel your pain. I have a 6 1/2 month old, i was so so sure I could breast feed him with out any problems. My Mom did it, My grandmother did it. I thought no matter how much it hurt i'd do it. WRONG. for the last 6 1/2 months i have worried about this, lost sleep over it, and almost went crazy! well not that bad but almost. First of all he wouldn't latch on, then i started to exclusively pump which worked for about 4 months, i was worried the whole time because i new he would start drinking more soon, and the time finally came. I started doing 1/2 and 1/2 formula and breast milk. It worked for another 2 1/2 mnths and now at 6 1/2 months i have given up the head ahce. I am constantly worring about my milk production and worring i'm not giving him what i should be able to give him. BUT you know what, he is happy, and loved. Someone told me if you pump 1/2 an oz a day and he drinks that 1/2 oz then its better then nothing right? Don't beat yourself up, just give him what you can and call it a day. I stopped pumping this week, i work from 8-5 and i would pump about 6-7 oz a day (thats it :( I am feeling a bit sad as well. So i'm with you this Mom things isn't easy!! :]

I completely relate to your feeling of "guilt" - when my milk supply dropped sharply this week, I panicked, thinking my breastfeeding days were done! But I happened to spend a few extra hours just sitting still, chatting with friends (not about this issue), and this release and support seemed to give my body the relaxation and restoration it needed to make milk again. Also, my mother in law suggests raspberry leaf tea, and her friends suggests Guiness stout (just one is supposed to be fine, but it gives you a lot of calories without having to eat constantly). Good luck!

you are working very hard, but stress can greatly affect your supply. Are you only pumping, or nursing him as well? I could never get more than 1-2oz while pumping, but my boys were both over 20lbs by 4mos old, so I know they were getting more than that. even a hospital grade pump doesn't get out what a baby nursing can, so go on a 'pump strike', only nurse your baby for 2-3 days, nurse him when he wakes, when he fusses, when he's alert, when he's sleeping. Nurse him ever y2hours, just like he's newborn. Nurse him even if he doesn't seem hungry. Hsi stimulation to your breasts will signal your body to up your supply. Only his nursing can really stimulate your body properly, so nurse him all the time, even if he's only 'using you as a pacifier', it will get your supply up.

Drink water to thirst, eat a bowl of oatmeal a day, find some mothers milk tea, but most of all, RELAX! Stress does reall yweird things to our bodies, especially to our milk if we are nursing. Put the pump down and forget about the number of oz that is coming out of it, because your baby can nurse out at least double ,likely triple that. At 2mos old thats all he needs. Breastmilk is so very different than formula ,babies don't need 8oz of breastmilk because its perfect, its what your baby needs, and hsi body knows how to process every last bit of it.

So relax, only nurse him, put the pump down ad realize that your milk supply has evened out. Its not dropped or gone, it just evened out. I never felt full in the morning after the first few weeks of engorgement, nor did Irespond to the pump, but I nursed my boys for 2yrs.

((hugs)) you are doin great! Relax, nurse only, put the pump down for a week or at least a few days and nurse all the time. I think your supply is ok.

I don't know the details behind why this isn't working for you but I completely understand how you feel. I breastfed my 1st child for 10 1/2 mos and loved the bond we shared. Then I had a preemie at 33 wks and it just didn't work out. I pumped for about 8 weeks and never got more than an ounce. I was so stressed out w/ her being in NICU and she wasn't able to latch on until about 8 wks which at that point I had completely dried up. I tried every single thing out there to help my milk supply (even prescription medication) and sometimes it just isn't meant to be. It was becoming too stressful for me and for the 18m old I was also trying to take care of so I finally had to let it go (after my Pediatrician constantly reassured me she would be ok on formula) and then I just focused on the positives on the situation. Although I totally understand how you feel b/c I still feel sad about it sometimes, there were positives. Bottle feeding is much easier than breastfeeding in my opinion after experiencing both. My son was constantly latched on 24-7 snacking all day long, where w/ the bottle and my daughter she could drink it faster and only took one bottle every 3 hrs. Plus someone else could help w/ the feedings. Since I had another young child to care for, that was the positive in the situation that I had to focus on. Once I made the decision to stop trying to breastfeed and move on, it really did get easier. It was just more frustrating and devastating to keep trying to do something that wasn't working. I also felt better knowing I had truly tried everything and given it WAY more time than most of my friends had given it before giving up. I was worried that it would affect our bond b/c I was very disconnected w/ her already due to all the stress of what I was going through and she has always been such a Mama's girl. She never held it against me if that makes you feel any better. I also just took her to her 1st sick visit at 14 mos old. Pretty good for a formula baby. Good luck!

Congrats on the birth of your son. Fenugreek, oatmeal and Mother's Milk Tea are all helpful at boosting your supply. Allow your baby to suckle at your breast as much as possible. Breastfeeing is supply and demand, meaning your body will make what your baby needs.

I second your advice to contact your local La Leche League leader or Lactation Consultant for additional advice. I've always found great support through from the women in La Leche League. Hugs to you...please be gentle with yourself as stressing over this will affect your milk supply also.

Best of Luck,
J.

You poor thing, I can understand your disappointment and guilt. Really, this isn't your fault, I know that you already know this. You have tried everything you can do. Sometimes there is a huge difference from nursing to nursing each child. Age, body, time, everything. I nursed both my kids for 1 year and would have been in the same boat that you are if I wasn't able to. So as someone that wanted the same as you, I can appreciate and respect your sadness, struggle and guilt.
I hope that you can start to supplement with formula, and try to nurse what you can. You can still try, but be sure your baby is getting more by supplementing. I know it's not what you want, but not everything is up to us.
What you have to know is that you tried all you could, you can still continue, it just wouldn't be the only source of food, you will have to supplement with formula. You had the joy and memories of being able to do so with your first 2 kids. Find the positives in this, or you will be upset more than you should be for your effort. Yeah for you, you tried everything, you never gave up and you kow you did all in your power. That is something to be proud of, I bet you are stressed and exhausted from all of time, worry and commitment to nursing. Just thank God for what you have been able to do, and what you have been given! You have a great baby boy, and you are a good mommy for going the distance that so many others would not have even done.
You have done a good job, don't feel guilty for not being able to control thie situation, it is what it is and you have done all that you can.
I do hope that I have helped!
Good luck my dear, and God bless!

oh R., i'm so sorry you are feeling so badly over this. i sure hope you listen to some of the advice you're getting here as well as the excellent advice you have already given yourself.
every experience comes to an end and you may never get to repeat it again. you may well not get to breastfeed again, but it's an absolute sure thing that you won't get to experience THIS baby at this age again. this is not said to make you cling more desperately to the passing days, but to relax into them and take them for what they are. your disappointment over breastfeeding is perfectly natural, and so is mourning it. allow that. guilt, however, is inappropriate. you have done nothing wrong. your high expectations have set you up for some pain, yes, but you need to internalize the reality that you cannot change what's happening, you can only change how you perceive it. do you really want your baby's precious early days to be squandered in a morass of guilt and beating yourself up over something that is not your fault? allow the moments of sadness to be, and acknowledge them, but then go back to your baby and celebrate this time with him. THAT'S what's important, not how he's fed.
{{{{}}}}
good luck to you.
khairete
S.

Don't feel bad breastfeeding is really very difficult and no one ever explains that before kids (even though you have two). I had similar problems with my first but I used fenugreek to increase my milk supply- it did help I also had to pump every couple hours as well as nurse for a few months to get things going but I was then able to breastfeed for a long time. But if it is too much with having three children then don't feel bad about going to the bottle the stress on you is probably enough with all of you other demands your son will be fine with formula and maybe you will be a happier more relaxed mom as a result- which we know will benefit everyone!

I fully understand what you are going through . I just had my third child 2wks ago and i am trying to breast feed for the first time. It has been a constant struggle for us too. My son is my last child as well, so I understand the dissapointment and that you will never get to experience this again, and you feel like your son is not getting everything that he deserves. My other to children were not breast fed due to uncontrolable circumstances and i feel like they were cheated as well. I am desperately going to try and stick this out and keep working with him at least until he is a month old in a couple of wks. I am hoping that things will be going better and i will be able to continue but i am very conflicted on what to do because i don't feel that he is getting enough breastmilk.

Don't beat yourself up, R. =]. And don't give up =]. I am a first time mom of a now 16 month old girl who i nursed until she was 14 months old. I had such problems at the beginning with breastfeeding. My daughter latched right away but then was such an aggressive nurser that she shredded my nipples the first week so with the help of a lactation consultant I stopped nursing for a week to let my breasts heal while we fed our daughter donated breastmilk. i was concerned that i would lose my supply and even after i began nursing again i constantly worried that i wouldn't produce enough. and pumping at the beginning was so frustrating taking an hour to produce less than an ounce but slowly but surely the milk starts to flow and by the time she was 4 months old i was pumping up to 8-10 oz each breast--which i really didn't think would ever happen. of course stress affects production and i had a week or so in the 5th month where i was only pumping a few ounces but then i bounced back again. i also starting taking fenugreek and natalac to increase production. hang in there, take care of yourself, and just take one day at a time =] Kat

I had hormonal issues that made it difficult for me with my last one - but I still breastfed him for 15 months. I had to supplement a couple of times per day with organic formula - and I was upset about it - but you get past it and can continue to breastfeed. Make sure you are drinking a lot of water also because the more fluids you take in the more it will help you. You can also try some "mothers milk" tea - look for it in the health food store and it may help increase your production a bit as well.

Hi R..
Just because you don't pump alot does not mean your son is not getting enough. My son is 10 months old, and I work full time so I pump at work. I only get about 1-2 ounces total after pumping for 45 minutes. Yes, it sucks, but in the morning and at night when he nurses, I am sure he is getting plenty because he has always been in the top 90th percentile for both weight and height. If there is no reason for you to pump, stop and just put your baby directly on you. Your body and your baby know what to do. Good luck!

I think you need to keep reminding yourself of what you said in your post..." I know it's not my fault, and I know I've done everything in my power to keep this going... but my body just isn't producing". Many things don't work out they way we want, despite our best efforts. You can still make feeding time a very loving, bonding experience. And consider this...the fact that you recognize there is an issue and you are willing to make an alternate plan to feed your baby is doing what any good mother will do. You are taking care of your child by whatever means you need to. Don't concentrate on what you don't have (the ability to produce enough milk for your baby), but do concentrate on what you do have (the ability to seek an alternative, the experience of being able to bf your other children, a new baby to love, etc). Best wishes to you.

I had the same problem, so I can really feel your pain. I felt like I tried everything: fenugreek, water, pumping, medication -- I even went to a hypnotherapist and got hypnotitzed to try to get things flowing more! I don't know if you have tried medication -- my OB put me on Reglin, which is an anti-nausea med, but has the side effect of producing more milk. It helped a little. I had bought nursing pads in anticipation of leaking.... I cried everytime I saw them in the closet. I can only tell you what others told me: don't beat yourself up. Take care.

I would suggest that instead of pumping first thing in the morning, just nurse your baby. If he's not awake, don't wake him up, but wait for him to wake up. The more you actually nurse your baby, the more milk your body will produce. Only use the pump if your breasts are engorged and painful. The rest of the time, just nurse your son.

Are you drinking plenty of fluids and getting enough rest? These two factors help a woman produce more milk. Don't give up. You want your baby to have the best. Ask God to put more milk in your breasts. Try to contact La Leche League. They know ways to help women breastfeed succesfully. You can do this. Love and prayers, AF

OMG, please dont drink beer to get up your supply, please. I dont want to start drama so I will leave it at that, but I could not let that go. Please call your local LLL as they will be able to help you, they will also be able to give you info on a consultant. I had lots of trouble (no milk, bleeding etc..) and after mine worked with me things went well. your obgyn will also be able to help you with someone. like I said I had problems at first and now I am nursing still at 15 mo old. I am happy that you are trying and want the best for your child, if you have really tried everything and just cant do it please dont beat your self up you did your best and your love for your child is what really matters. I wish you luck and your little one is lucky to have a momma that cares so much! xo

i just went through the same thing with my son who is now 15 months old. I had to go back to work at 3 weeks-if i didn't i wouldn't have been able to survive financially. My first two I got to stay home for. So that was a big change in and of itself. With my first, even though I stayed home, I learned quickly that I had to buy a good pump, drink lots of water AND use a suppliment. I chose fenugreek to increase my supply. The dose was the lowest daily compared to raspberry tea leaf and brewers yeast and my supply increased DRAMATICALLY in a matter of two days. I think mostly you need to stop stressing, it only makes it worse. I ended up having to give up nursing my last baby at 9 months. Between working all day 60hr weeks and nursing literally ALL night, I was too exhausted. I cried several times weeks and months later knowing I'd never have the chance again, but he is now 15 months old and we are still bonded just as much if not more than I was with my first two. He's still a healthy, happy little boy! Don't stress....time will come when the guilt disappears and you will find out how to bond in other ways :)

How often are you nursing and pumping? That, along with dehydration could be the culprits....I only pump once, maybe twice a day, at the most. The rest of the time I nurse. I usually pump at night - and I feed her every 2-3 hours. Sometimes if she is extremely hungry I will feed her sooner than 2 hours, but mostly it's about 2.5 hours. I never seem to go dry unless it's pumping and feeding back to back....but that only happened once because of time management issues. In the morning, I even leak in the shower because it has started to back up the milk from the night (she can go longer between feedings at night...usually 3- 3.5 hours). Get a good pump like the other poster said - I have a Medela also and I pump for 10 minutes (15 at most) per side. I only have a single pump because I stay at home and have the time....if not, I would have gotten the double pump. I pump until the milk stops coming out and then one minute more to let my body know to keep producing. If you increase the frequency of your feedings and drink enough water, then you should start producing more....but if not, don't feel guilty - you tried and some women just can't control how much milk they are producing - don't blame yourself! The most important time to nurse is when your colostrum is in - then the breast milk is good for AT LEAST the first months....but by 2 months old, formula will still be great for your baby!! I'm glad you hung in there this long, but give yourself a break....mothering isn't an exact science and your baby will be fine even without the extra 4 months or so of nursing.... just enjoy the cuddling time and make up for it with extra kisses! :)
PS - also read the book Babywise - it has some great advice...:)

First of all I would like to applaud you for trying so hard to breastfeed. There are so many moms that don't even try or try a little and then give up. I understand how important it is for you. I breastfed my first for 14 months and am still breastfeeding my 16 month old....I am kind of ready to stop, but likeyou he may be my last :-(

Here are just a few suggestions that may help-
Fenugreek is an heerb supplement that helps increase milk supply
Mother's Milk Tea also help increase supply
Nurse Nurse Nurse
Drink lots and lots of water and get a lot of rest
Most importantly-try to relax. That will really help. Stress can decrease your supply. I'm not sure if your are formula feeding as well,, but just remember that even a little bit of breastmilk each day is better than none. Keep up the good work, Mom!

Also, if you would like some one on one help, WIC (Women Infant and Child) has breastfeeding peer counselors that you can see in person or call on the phone. Even if you are not on the program they are more than happy to help. They just can't give you a pump or any supplies. See if your county's clinic has one. They can be a really big help and have lots of resources to help mom's deal with similar situations

Hope this helps!

Pumping for an hour? That does not sound right. With a good quality pump, you should be done in 15 minutes. Doesn't matter if you get any milk or not. Wait, rest, relax and try again an hour later. I had no or just a few drops for a few days when I started, but it gradually increased.
Also, babies are waaaay better in getting the milk out than any kind of pump. He may still be getting some milk even if you don't get much from the pump. And if he is nursing just fine, why not nurse as often as you can, rather than pumping?
When you have to pump, having the baby near you and/or smelling him and relaxing should help.
You could also try putting warm wash clothes on your breasts and massaging before pumping/nursing. That should help the milk flow.
Give yourself a break, your morale is more important than anything else.

Hi R.,

I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. Like some of the other posters, I wanted to point out that just because you're unable to pump a lot doesn't mean that you're not actually producing milk. I had to pump for my daughter until she was 1 since I worked part-time and she had a severe allergy to formula. Pumping was very disheartening & frustrating as I was never able to get a large amount either...this was compounded by my daycare provider telling me that she could really use more. My daughter was not malnourished and I just had my daycare provider give her cereal, baby food, etc during the day (once she was old enough) to make up for the lack of pumped milk. Feed your baby every chance you get-that stimulates more production & stop beating yourself up. There are many babies who do just fine on formula, too. Hope it all works out for you!

Congrats on your 3rd baby! I just read recently that some women have success with manual stimulation - using their hands - rather than a pump to ramp up milk supply. But that's not something I can speak to from personal experience. Something to research.

Best wishes to you and your family!

It's ok and most importantly don't blame yourself. Everything is happening for a reason, you may just not understand it yet. I had a very similar expereince with my first child. I felt so guilty and like I wasn't a good mom. I researched formula and decided that Soy wasn't so bad afterall. You can still have a healthy child without brest feeding. After all the agony I went through with my first and success I had with Soy, I went with that on my next 2 children. All 3 of my kids are healthy, smart, and wonderful little people.

First, and I know this will suck, if you think the baby is not getting enough to eat or is not gaining you may have to supplement with formula until your supply increases. There are lots if things you can do to up your supply, drink lots of water, eat plenty of healthy foods, and there is a tea that can help as well. I'm sorry I don't know the name of it offhand! Also, call the lactation consultant at the hospital where you delivered, or call the La Leche League nearest you. They will be able to give you LOTS of good advice!!
And in the meantime, demand feed and pump pump pump! :) Good luck, I wish you the best!

You poor girl. I had a bit of trouble at the beginning, it is a terrible feeling.Have you contacted anyone from the La Leche League? Alot of this can be helped by increasing grains in your diet I eat brown rice ALL THE TIME and I also drink Traditional Medicinals Mothers Milk tea. You can find it at Publix or any health food store. Also if you do end up needing to suppliment see if you can find a finger cot (i think thats the name) a friend of mine gave me one when i was having trouble,it is a way of adding more bulk while stymulating lactation.

Have you called your Doctor?? If you have tried all of the pumping etc, there are sometimes medical reasons for not producing enough milk and they can give certain medications that might help. If that is a no-go you just need to give yourself permission to let go, start giving that sweet baby formula, and find something else to do to bond with baby. When I had to give up breastfeeding(actually exclusive pumping) at 6 months because my twins started to be mobile and were getting into trouble while I was attached to the wall took up making thier babyfood which was fulfilling and quite a cost savings.

congrats on your new baby, and on trying so hard to breastfeed. the only thing I have to add that I don't think anyone has mentioned is there's a good article in The Atlantic that addresses the conflicting info about breastfeeding, and some of the pros of ~not~ doing it:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breast...
it might help you get some perspective on your struggle. while I applaud your efforts to nurse, and I have had the privilege of nursing all of my kids well into their second year without ever having to supplement, I do think that we put too much pressure on ourselves as mothers, and at a time when we are particularly vulnerable. so. read the article (if you can find the time!), and I hope it brings you a little peace.

best of luck to you.

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I know many Moms have given you some great advice! I can only tell you that I had no problem nursing and nursed both of my children for over a year, but never got the hang of pumping! I did not return to work because of this. If your baby is gaining weight and seems satisfied then there is no need to worry about your supply. I know you already have been told to drink a lot of water and relax. With that said: as much as I am an advocate for nursing, there are much worse things! If your worried about pumping because of the neccesity of getting back to work etc. then maybe you will need to continue trying and (worse case scenario) supplement with formula. Just another side note...I know you feel guilty, but I can assure you, your son will not remember that he began formula at 2 mos old. I hope it all works out for you and your baby!

I have an adopted daughter that was formula fed, a biological son, after trying for 11 years, that I breastfed for 4 months. I was opposite from you & was a milk cow, but no matter how I adjusted my diet, my son was very irritable, colicky, and just plain restless & hardly ever slept longer than an hour & a half at one time. I was exhausted & just couldn't do it any more. I tried a few formulas without much difference, but then we tried Nestle's soy formula & my son whom we had nicknamed wailen Kalen became my sweet little angel. He slept for 4 hours straight! & I woke panicked thinking something was wrong. No more reflux, no more irritability. sometimes it just is what it is. I was disappointed that it all didn't go picture perfect, but I don't love my son any less cuz his body had digestive problems with my milk, nor is your child gonna love you less. I grieved too, but your grieving the fantasy that wasn't reality. I decided to embrace the reality & remember fondly the fantasy. Life is a journey full of pot holes!