Dad's Side of the Family Always Saying Baby Looks Nothing like Dad.

I would look at them in the eye and say "hmmmm...well, who do you think he looks like?" When they stutter for an answer, dismiss the question. If they make the same comment again, I would again, look them straight in the eye and say "You know, you have said that to me several times. Do you question if he is (insert husband's name)?" That ought to shut them up.

That little conversation took place in my family and my MIL NEVER asked again.

I get the opposite all the time from hubby's family. "She looks nothing like you at all. Are you sure you're her mother?" I know they are all joking but damn it get's annoying :/ I finally said "gee I thought she was mine. I labored for 56 hours to bring her into this world. Gosh I hope the hospital didn't mix her with another baby." (Totally not possible since she never left our room or our sight.) They got the message and have never said it again to me. Next time one of them makes the comment turn it around on them and ask them "who they think she looks like" or "ya know it's funny cause ____ (his daughter) looks nothing like him either" or "I often wonder if he takes after his father's side of the family, do you have any pictures of his birth parents?" That ought to shut them up. Good Luck and God Bless.

Your hubby has weird parents and thats why he's uncomfortable around yours. Don't pressure him and just let time be the healer of his anxiety about his inlaws.
As far as your child, when they say she doesnt look like anyone, just say "yep, she looks just like _________ ________ _________", insert her first, middle and last name in the blanks.
They sound kinda ignorant, try not to be so sensitive and by all means dont take them so seriously.

Our son has blue eyes and both my husband and I have brown eyes. You wouldn't believe how many times people come up to us and said: "Hm, I'm wondering where he got his blue eyes from," right in front of us. It just sounds so rude and I often wonder "did that person just accuse me of cheating?". It's annoying, but since there is no way that anyone else is the father I just shrug it off.
Your husband's family sounds a bit strange and I don't think it's normal that they exclude you or that your husband thinks he has to exclude himself from your family. My husband has become part of my extended family and I am part of his and there is never a question about it. Maybe you could host a family dinner or something and invite both sides of the family. Or maybe, if your family live out of town they could visit for a few nights so that your husband can't just leave while they are there.

Hosestly my daughter looks nothing like my husband because, she looks exactly like me accept she got her dad's eye color. You can't tell the diffenence between my picture when I was her age and her's its so crazy and my brothers little boy looks exactly like him I mean exactly like him. I guess it depends on how the genes get mixed lol and I think that my family has some really strong genes because almost all of my nefues and nieces look like my side of the family. Now my son is the perfect mix of my husband and I my hair and nose and his face and eye color. If you have not done anything to be guilty then I would just ignore it.

My response would be "He looks exactly like himself". You may be right, he may look more like your husbands biological family. As to why they say it...only they know for sure and we could only speculate.

As for being around family can be a bit tricky. My hubby is a bit like yours. Why don't you invite your step-daughter over for lunch or girls day out. Do the same for dinner sometimes when your hubby is home too.

First of I don't know why some people keep trying to find out who the baby looks like when they just born, babies are all swallow, their eyes are not the color they will be, the hair color and texture may change too.
Even (not saying it is) the baby was not his, who cares, they better then other should know a parent is the one that cares, loves and provide for the little one.
Second, their comment is also very ignorant, not all kids look like the parents, my younger doesn't look at all like me. Since your husband is adopted, how do they know if your baby doesn't look like HIS birth family.
If this is bothering you, I would don't go around and tell them once and for all, "Stop the comments, this is OUR baby and period. If you can't see it then keep t to your selfs because for me is very tacky you keep commenting about it, maybe he looks like my husband's birth family, who knows right? "
They may get upset, but soon they will let go and you guys can move on and let this behind.
I can't help to much about the family thing, my husband is very privet with every body, not only my family and the fact that my mother speak very little English doesn't help, but I do understand what you say because I did lots of effort for his family to like me and even if I didn't speak well English I still trying other ways. He on the other side, he stays quite in a corner, but in the other hand is he the first one that pays their tickets to come here, he has never tell me once that maybe they shouldn't come, he is always buying them presents and he may not say it to my mom (which I will like) but he tells me that he likes them and that my mom is nicer then his :) so I take that.
Btw, just to let you know, babies change, my girl use to have gray eyes and black hair straigh hair when she born, now she has brown eye and light brown curly hair, lol. and my older has jack nicholson eye brows and NOBODY in either side of the family has them...and I think I would remember if I had sex with jack nicholson and I didn't, so, nature is strange sometimes.

Its kinda funny because the situation is turned around for me. My second son DOESNT look a thing like me! Im Hispanic and have really dark hair, Carmel skin and brown eyes now my son has light blondish-brown hair, pail skin, and BEAUTIFUL smoky blue eyes! He looks IDENTICAL to his dad but looks like a step-son when around me! Now my month old daughter doesn't really look like my husband because she has Carmel skin, dark brown hair and what looks like olive-green or smoky blue eyes. My husband is Caucasian with light skin blondish-brown hair and beautiful blue eyes! His sister teases that our daughter isn't his,kinda irritates me but I know she's his.

My husband family is always talking how much our kids look like him. It does get annoying because they do it to the extent that it kinda means I am not a giver but my daughter has my hair color and my eye color and my son my checks and nose, really they are a great blend of both of us but you wouldn't think that to hear them talk.

Speaking of which they are on there way here to my house now. aghhhhhhh

I think if you call them out on it they will stop. Just be bold and ask...WHAT are you trying to say? or Well, I like him!
or Your right, my son is much cuter! (wink)

Don't people have better things to do than keep repeating themselves...Your son obviously took on both sets of his characteristics from both of you...If people keep doing that all you have to say is that he looks like himself the way God intended!

How does your husband feel about the comments? If it bothers him, you need to consider his feelings about it.
If it doesn't bother him, you could tell him to say your child looks JUST like the milk man (or plumber, or mail man, etc).
Take a look at the English royal family.
William and Harry look nothing like Charles (or even like each other), but he fathered them both.

Well... I don't want to spend much time with my parents (mom & stepdad)... I certainly wouldn't expect my husband to. We both lean towards the feeling of wanting to deck them. As far as my dad and stepmom are concerned... We love spending time with them. But it took some time for everyone to get 'comfortable' with each other in that part of my family. I would rather spend time with my MIL than my mother. I've always been pretty outgoing. I don't let people 'get away' from me very easily. I make it a point to get to know people... I don't expect others to be that way with me. Most people aren't like that. As far as his daughter is concerned... Maybe she's just not comfortable with that 'stepmom/stepdaughter' relationship.

I also think it's less rude to leave than to state his dislike or show it towards your parents.

You mention that your husband is 13yrs your senior (nothing wrong with that)... Is it possible that his 'adult' daughter feels strangely about that?

For my husband and I, our families intermingle... Basically during holidays and birthdays, but intermingle none the less... Even my EX In-laws are usually part of our get-togethers. On a regular basis... My husband and I don't really want to deal with either of our families.

As far as the comments about your little one not looking like your hubby... Ignore and dismiss it. It's silly to stress about.

It is never too late to start if both you and your husband have a desire to include all family members in your relationship. Is does not appear that your husband is on board at this time.

You need to ask him some hard questions and you may not like his answers. If he is unwilling to bring both his and your family together, and let his family know that what they have been saying about your child looking "NOTHING" like him (which another way of saying that perhaps it's not his), must stop and never said again; then you may fighting an uphill battle.

You will need to determine if your husband is committed enough to bring the families together or if he just basically wants you to himself? Lastly, what is it that you are willing to accept?

Blessings....