I'm a first time mom, I have a 2 year old girl and I'm not liking what I'm seeing at the daycare facility that was recommended with rave reviews and is 1/2 mile from my office.I want to know if I moved her (which I don't want to uproot her), will it be the same everywhere else? It's a one location place, pretty small, only 3 rooms.A boy hit my daughter in the face (I know it happens) right in front of me. She was fine but the teacher walked by saying "don't hit, Dillon" and that was it. I would expect them to sit him down, tell him it is wrong, teach him to apologize and maybe a hug or something. I inquired about it and they said "well, that's how boys are, it happens all the time" - Is it me or is this a complete lack of effort?Am I expecting too much? Same as I don't want my daughter getting away with hitting anyone else. I also often times see her with someone else's clothes on, we go home and find out three days later that they have 3 of our sippy cups and forget to send them home, I saw my daughter's shirt on someone else-it had her name on it. I see the teachers hovering around the computer or a CD player in the morning when all the kids are arriving and at that point all the kids are in one room, soon to split into their age groups - with nobody watching - to me is when they need to be paying attention - when parents are arriving (in case of questions, changes, or even to fake like they care that your child is arriving). On the flip side, they plan trips for the parents to meet (polar express, mother's day breakfast, Lowell Lockmonsters game), I love the projects they do, they have a specific structure throughout the day and my daughter is learning a ton, I love the other kids she's with and I like the owner but if she's not there, chaos insues. I also see the teachers doing their homework when I go to pick her up. They are supposed to be writing in a journal each day (this was a change from the send home diary sheets that show how the day went i.e. behavior, eating, nap etc) and they skip days here and there. I don't expect her to get the same care at home, but I'm afraid I'll be the high maintenance mom if I do and they'll snarl at me. I mentioned that I thought she got too much sugar there based on the notes that came home and she sort of fought me on it so I fear the same thing. Some friends have said "oh, same thing at my daycare, they hit, bite, the teachers don't care". Any feedback would be great. Thanks!
Yikes! I certainly dont think youre being unreasonable! Can you ask around about other day cares... maybe talk to some moms who use other facilities and find out how they operate? You did say you heard rave reviews about this place, so maybe theyre in staff transition or something and this is not their norm??? You could talk to the owner and share your concerns. Theyre valid - youre not being high maintenance. good luck!
Two year olds... the class of biting, hitting, grabbing, screaming toddlers.
I worked in such a room years and years ago...it isn't easy.
To address certain points you mentioned.
It sounds like the teachers are 'young' if they are doing their homework instead of attending to their charges.
The fact that they are skipping writing in the journal goes against 'daily communication' policies that all child care centers have, especially if they are NAEYC accredited.
As far as the computer....what is a computer doing in a toddler room? There shouldn't be one in there.
Yes, toddlers hit. If you 'make them apologize' it means nothing to them. Children do not get apologizing..they are just words. In the moment, the child was lashing out... a time out is more appropriate with a, 'why are you in time out' query and the words 'we don't hit' spoken to the child.
If you are expecting the teachers to follow policy of the school, you are not the overbearing parent. Your child's extra clothing shouldn't be going home on another child nor should another child's clothing going home on your child. The school should have an extra set of clothing in case a child doesn't have one that is borrowed, washed by you and returned next day.
It sounds like you are happy with the rest of the curriculum and care your daughter is getting. I think you may just need to read the school handbook then have a sit down with the director and go over your points. If she becomes stand offish or treats you like its no big deal... you can call the EEC and they can do a surprise visit with an anonymous complaint....had to do that one myself 14 yrs ago when my son was a toddler.... things were fixed right away!
Good luck
Hi J.,
I am probably a high maintenance Mom too, but I think we should be. Who else is going to watch out for our kids?! Not to mention the fact that we are paying them (a lot) to watch, encourage and assist us in raising them.
I also have a two year old, and I can tell you right now that I would be looking for a new place. Not that bites and hits don't happen, but any time it happens at my place, there is an incident report, the child is spoken to, and told to apologize or hug the hurt child.
I also would highly object to them doing their homework, or not greeting the children when they come in. My daycare has the Infant, Waddler and Toddler room in one room separated by low bookcases, and not only does my daughter get a greeting from her caregivers, but she also is still greeted by the infant and waddler caregivers.
Every once in a while a bottle was forgotten, but they provide her sippy cups. They also are very careful about peoples belongings. They have spare clothing, and they use that before they use something they are not sure about.
I would look into another place. When I was looking around, there was a location that I kept hearing great things about, but I was very disappointed with the tour (I actually left crying, thinking that this place had recommendations-I would rather not work than leave her there!), so you can't always go with reputation.
Good luck!
M.
Hi J.,
My kids have been at an in-home daycare since they were babies. They are now 4 and 5. I have to put them in daycare next year and am not happy about it. I went to some facilities and did not like what I saw. I, as a mom and as a teacher, would say something to the director about the mornings as well as the hitting issue. I'm trying very hard to find another home care situation but am having no luck.
Don't let them get away with pushing things aside. This is how our children begin to believe that it is alright to hit and be a bully. I see it all too much in third grade.
Good luck!
Good lord. I don't know what your friends' expectations are, but I would certainly find some of these things unacceptable. Like you said, on one hand I wouldn't want someone else's kid hitting mine, but on the other I certainly wouldn't want mine hitting either. At my daycare things like that aren't tolerated. Also, everyone sends an extra set of clothing and if someone is missing something the daycare has extras if a kiddo has an accident. They certainly don't put someone else's stuff on a kid. They lost a pair of my son's undies once and offered to buy some more. Anyway, good luck figuring out what to do.
Not all daycares are the same. We ended up changing daycares when my sun was 6 months old. They daycare he is in now I ultimately feel at this time and age (18 months) is the best match for him. The question you have to ask yourself is do you feel that your daugther is safe there?
Over the year we have had our issues that have come up. For example the time he got bit by another kid. But he ended up biting someone 3 months later. IN the end in speaking with the owner I have realized that she realizes kids are kids and no kid and no one on her staff is perfect. The owner does work with the kids and parents and staff to correct behaviors such as biting and hitting. I think that is the key to a good daycare center that there is a working relationship between the staff owner and customers to work through problems.
It sounds like your daugther is learning something and they do have structured activities. I would speak with the owner to find out how they deal with behaviors such as hitting if it is a constant problem with other kids.
J. M - what you say is absolutely inappropriate and I think should be addressed! You are NOT expecting too much! I have two older children who have both been in child care and I currently work at a Child Care Resource & Referral program which you should try and connect with one in your area, they are in every state. I would ask the Director to speak with her privately and express your concerns and yet at the same time tell her all the positives you see as well. You say things seem to go down hill when she is not there and she needs to know that! Yes hitting, biting etc all happen as it is developmentally age appropriate that children do that at certain ages but it DOES need to be addressed in a better fashion than that!
J.
I would assume by this point you have addressed this issue and hopefully have seen corrections and good results. I am new to this site and thought I would drop a short message. I run a family childcare (in my home)and news like this really gets me going. Family's entrust us with the most important part of their life, their children. As providers we should always go above and beyond in all aspects of our business. I have wonderful clients and keep daily communication going with them. If I have a problem with a child (none really so far, since 2003)I talk with the parents to get their input and we work a resolution out together. There is no hitting, biting, pinching, pushing, rudeness or anything in my childcare. The children and families know my regulations and everyone is wonderful at following them. Teenagers are supposed to be supervised (not that any work with me, but from what the EEC regulations state)and they ABSOLUTELY should not be doing homework or playing on a computer unless it is a break or something and then they should be in another room. Greetin, well I always greet my families like they are my family! I ask questions about their weekends, etc.. I hope things have gotten better. One of the responders was correct, if you don't find results after talking with the owner in a private meeting, then call EEC and report the situation to them. They will do a surprise visit. Good luck.
