Debating with Husband over Baby #2

I live in a house that's 888 square feet, as does my neighbor, who raised 7 children in it (back in the day...she's a young looking great-grandma now). Now granted that was a 3 bedroom house, but obviously tight quarters can be done. It really makes you evaluate what you "need" when you're in a small space.

I'd go for it. Look at it this way...even if your 2nd child is a girl, she can share a room with your son (or room in with you) for a couple years at least. By then the housing market should be better.

Is it ideal? No. But other than being a little tight on space, it's not going to hurt anyone. And, with your history, who knows how long it will take to get pregnant. You might end up having a baby just as you're moving into a new house anyway. As I'm sure you know, it only gets harder as you get older, so you might as well start trying now.

A friend once asked me what I was waiting for when I said we weren't ready to have children. She said, "If you're waiting until you have enough money, forget it. You'll never have enough. If you're waiting for everything on your to-do list to be done, that'll never happen either." Good advice, provided you at least have a roof over your head and an income of some sort ;-)

Hi, I just wanted to say that I agree with Staci, most husands just want the words to know that everything that he has provided financially and spiritually is great. Once he knows that he has met his current families needs, he maybe open to the idea of another. The size of your house does not make the family. We live in a great house, not the biggest for 5 kids and two adults, but we make it work and we only have one bathroom! Now, I try to tell myself that in the old days that was normal. Good luck, the hardest thing about marriage is compromise.

I have 2 children 17 months apart, now 7 & 9 years old. We lived in an apartment and were also worried about room. I have been married for 10 years. I was married before for 5 years and wanted kids. All I heard from my 1st husband was ...wait until we get a house...wait until we get the barn...wait until we pay this off....the years go fast and you realize ...you don't have kids yet and/or another one.

I would advise to form your life around the things you and your husband can honestly say goes first. It was kids for us and we made do with everything else, drove an older car, used coupons, shopped at dollar stores etc. I do not regret having another child...I can not imagine life without her, what a gift!

If another child is #1 in your heart, try to make it happen...'things'..as in housing....cars.....clothes....etc ..just have a way of working out. ..by the way one of my biggest concerns was my boy & girl having to share a room. They still sleep in each others room 9 years later, you just never know!

Good luck with your wonderful family!

L.,
Wow - do I hear you! You could be me talking! My husband and I bought a 760 sq. ft. house just over 6 years ago when we were first married and it now feels like the biggest mistake! We've been trying to sell it since shortly before we got pregnant with baby #2 (who, by the way, is now 21 months old!) I'm here to tell you that it's not easy living as a family of four in such a small space, but it can be done - we do it every day! We just recently bought a lot and are actually looking into doing a trade with a builder. Something you could think about doing as well. As far as your debate with your husband, that's a tough one - I believe you both have legitimate reasons for why you feel the way you do, but who feels stronger? Maybe that is what you need to ask yourselves. Perhaps the two of you could compromise, maybe you put your house up for sale for 6 months and during that time you remain on birth control - if it doesn't sell, you continue to list it (because you will definitely need something bigger regardless), but you go off birth control and try to get pregnant with baby #2. Nothing against only children, but it will be nice for your little boy to have a sibling to share his life with and from my own experience, I can tell you that a small house isn't nearly as bothersome to our little ones as it is to us! I hope this helps... let us know what you decide.

K. :)

Maybe by explaining no matter where you live or the living situation, it doesn't matter it is never the "right" time. Also, your need to have this baby, try not to concentrate on the "need" and more or less the want. Who cares about the difference in age between children, as long as you have a healthy baby that is what matters. I have a step-son that is 9 and my son will be 4 in November and it works out fine, they love each other no matter what the age difference is. Try not to plan so much and take what God gives you.

Hi L.,

It looks like your husband does what all husbands do. They worry about the money. And you are worrying about he children. Men are more practical when it comes to families and women are more emotional. I would have to say that I do agree with your husband here. A place that small may not be ideal for another baby. Your toddler will need space to himself and it won't be possible with an infant. I do understand you as well. I understand that urge. But, in a way, your urge will only satisfy you, not the family. I don't mean to be rude here, just more objective. However, I think your husband and you may need to compromise. Selling a condo right now is not easy. Try renting, while you move into a bigger place and go for #2 then. Or set up a time line where if you don't get out of the condo by a certain time you get to try for #2 regardless. that way it gives your husband some time to do something with the condo.

Think about it this way: if you get pregnant now and your husband is not ready for it, it may start some tension between the two of you. And you don't need that. Both of you need to be on the same page. Assuming you are young and having a baby in 2 to 3 years won't be a problem, then why not? I know you want your son to have a sibling close in age, but it may backfire if your living situation won't be approved by your toddler who'll need space to himself.

L.;

I feel your dilemma. However I also understand your husbands point of view.

I too, have been considering Baby #2 as well. But I work from home in a position that would jeopardize having a second baby. My work requires quiet. I currently have clients that I am blessed to have that do not mind my pre-schooler, but they would not feel this way with a small baby I am sure! :)

My question is this: Do you still have everything? From Maternity to now from your other child? I do so I know this would help my situation.

I also would not have another separate room for Baby #2 without moving my work area to the basement. This will not happen as that is not a good idea. My basement is too cold and I cannot put clients down there. It is also not effective to move a baby into another child's room unless they are only months apart (from experience with my brothers). The baby will wake the other child almost every time. Children need their sleep.

Question again: What birth control are you using? Now adays, there are more risks than what is really told to you. More chemicals go into the body than is needed and it messes things up harshly. A friend of mine (as well as others I know) had to end up in the ER due to a burned/ raw colon due to their BC. So obviously when it was my turn to see the doctor, I left the samples!

You can still go off your BC and be safe. I have since my son was born (and he will be four years old this month.).

If you still decide to go for it: Don't stress it. This is the BIGGEST mistake every woman makes. They feel almost pressured for time and they obsess over it. This can hinder a pregnancy as your body is stressed over something your are constantly thinking on. Ironically enough, I know of a herbal that can help - supposedly, but I am not wild about the grain alcohol that is used in it as the body doesn't need it.

Consider everything: Your job, the room in the home, the extra expense...

Good luck! Sorry for the length, but as I was considering, you get a view from another in that position as well!

Put the condo on the market right now, stop using protection and just live like normal. You will have more difficulty conceiving if you stress about it. Believe me, the "right time" never comes.

Losing money on the condo: If you wait for a market upturn - your new house/condo will be more expensive.

Unable to sell the condo: If it sells before another baby comes, thats great. If not, big deal. You just have a cozy condo for a bit longer. Anyway, families in smaller houses tend to be closer knit families.

Babies take 10 months to arrive. They can sleep in a crib in your room for 3 mos or more. That's more than a year for the condo to sell provided you get pregnant RIGHT away!

Once the baby sleeps through the night the kids can share a room. What if it is a boy and a GIRL? You have 50% chance that they will end up being the same gender anyway. If not, the older child still is young enough for a mixed bedroom until the condo does sell.

I think you need to put the pros and cons in black and white for your hubbby. As a I read the responses, I'm amazed that housing is the main issue. There are other considerations. Financial position overall, time for each child, only children need more adult attention than when they have siblings, watch how "only" children react to situations v. children with siblings, etc. Kids don't need as much space as society makes you think. They don't need a playstation and a Wii. They need loving parents that can give them time and attention they need.

I would share your husband's concerns. Basically because he isn't opposed to having another baby, but he at least is taking responsibility seriously and the economy the was it is...
Maybe you can agree on how much of a cut to take on selling your house, if you should sell. Will it be worth it, will it put you in a house and neighborhood you're both comfortable with? And will it allow enough $$ for your family to live comfortably and allow an second baby?
A lot depends on what you're willing to adjust. For instance, how much of eating habits can be adjusted. Can your son go without cookies, can you go without a diet pop, can hubby sacrifice having a 6 pack around? See what I mean? Eat more greens, e.g., than steaks and cut costs that way without sacrificing health. It'd take a lot of adjustments.
Since you're not in the full blown 'itch' stage yet, I would exercise patience. If you don't want to use the pill, don't. Que sera sera. But realize the consequences. And I would just drop the age difference issue. It's a non issue. What's more important here? That's what you need to think about. Be on the same page. Your son will develop friendships.

you two have to come to an agreement or both of you will be unhappy, my daughters are 4 years apart and it is perfect. take your time and don't rush to have another baby so quickly it is better for your body to wait at least three years. with this economy think twice before brining another baby in the world. i would say pray to god, he does answer prayers and will help you through this.
also relax and maybe start exersing before you want to try for another baby that might help to.
good luck

How much room does a baby really need? The nook in your arms... that's it. Think about the families before us that shared homes that size. Families, entire families. And if that lifestyle doesn't suit you, you can always lease (lease option) your condo so you can buy something that better fits you. I hope your husband "gives in" and let's things happen naturally. I can just imagine the stress you encountered to have your precious baby that you already have. Good luck!

L.,
Ask your husband "when" does he foresee your housing situation changing? If it's important to him to have a certain amount of space per family member then, knowing this, he/youall need to work on a housing solution (starting now). If he says "yeah, we'll be here for a while".. well, then, let him know you still need to move ahead with other parts of your life (i.e. your family) and not let the cramped (and temporary) quarters get in the way! -C

I debated for a while, similar situation. I too have a small two bedroom house. If it happens, you just make do. I currently have a son and daughter whom share a room. I am not going to lie, it's tight, however, people grew up before us sharing rooms, and smaller spaces at that. You have a roof over their head, and are able to supply the basics, and family roots, those are the things that really matter.

I encourage you to follow your heart! But I understand a man's postion of being protector and provider for his family and I respect your husband's desire to do a good job.

We raised 3 kids in a small townhouse which we moved to after living in a small apartment and were so thankful to get there. We stayed there for 25 years untiil we were able to purchase our first home.

Many people said to us, "Aren't you doing this backwards, your kids are leaving the nest?" We feel blessed to be in our new house. BUT our kids (and us) have no regrets over doing life together in the small house - they tell me they didn't even notice. Their needs were met, they could have friends over and the love that was in the home was more important than a big house.

However, I must say my last 10 years in the house were hard for me as the kids got to be adult size and we had accumulated not only our stuff, but theirs as well. But God led us through it.

Good luck to you.
M.

You both have legitimate concerns/needs. I guess the question you need to ask is... If we cannot sell the condo, would another baby fit here, especially if its a girl and the kids can't share a room. (of course I have friends who had their boy and girl share a room for several years, up to age 4 for the older girl...its not as big a deal at that age). Would a second bed fit into your son's room, is there room for the crib in your bedroom (as it wouldn't be fair for your son to get woken up during the night with baby cries...) for the first months, etc...

If you can reconcile these issues, convincing your husband probably will be easier. But I'd say wait if he's still unwilling, because going ahead when one person is uncomfortable will strain your relationship. Your marriage should come first before kids, because they will suffer if it suffers.

Good luck!

As far as the housing goes - there's no reason why the kids can't share a room. The baby could sleep in your room in a bassinet for a while before it's moved into the other room too. While this housing issue is a valid argument - you really can't wait until everything is "perfect" because in this economy you never know when that will be. It could be next year - it could be 5 years from now! Also, while in past years in this area it's "normal" for each child to have his/her own room - that's not how it has been done in the past. Do you really think that all these houses in the area with 2-3 bedrooms never housed more than 1-2 kids? My 3 bedroom house had 4 kids in it from birth until they all moved away (then the parents moved to a 2 bedroom on a lake and we bought it). It's completely normal for kids to share rooms. Besides - how much time do they actually spend in the bedroom (at least until they are teenagers and need the privacy factor)? Most time is spent in the living room/playroom/kitchen/basement/etc.

As far as the age difference goes - it really doesn't matter. Yes, it's nice to be close together, but for totally different reasons it's nice to be farther apart. I was just discussing this with my friend the other day. My brother & I are almost exactly 2 years apart - and it was nice that we could play together most of the time with the same toys since we were close in age. At the same time, she was saying that it was nice to have 5 years between her and her brother because they didn't fight over things and there was no competition for toys or who gets to do what when. There is no less love no matter what the gap. I wouldn't use that as the determining factor.

However, if YOU have the itch, but your husband doesn't yet, maybe you should wait a little bit. Maybe try this- tell him you want him to think about it and you'll discuss it in "x" number of months. Then, when that is up, talk about it again and either extend the months or stop "preventing". We did that with our first. I was ready, he wasn't. I told him we'd talk about it after Christmas. We did. He said while he still wasn't quite ready, he would agree that we could stop preventing and just let it happen when it did. We never did try. A little over a year later it happened on it's own.

Good luck. One way or another you guys need to work this out so you don't end up with one of you unhappy.

Good mornng L.. I'm not sure when this became the trend, but we have raised 6 kids in an 849 sq. ft. home and we survived! I don't know why people think they NEED bigger homes to raise their kids in. It is a WANT, not a need! 2 kids in a condo is doable. If it takes another 18 months, then maybe the economy will turn around and you can sell the condo and get a home. I hear people talk about how they need abigger home because they are having their 2nd baby and they are talking about a 2500 to 3000 sq. ft. home! How ridiculous is that? I have people living in condos across the street and they seem to be doing fine with 2-3 kids. I think it is more a question of discussing what you really need, versus what you want. Hope this helps, L. S.

L., considering that your hubby is in favor of another child someday, don't stress about it. Just because children are close in age, it doesn't mean they'll get along. Let things settle down financially and you'll have less stress=less stress conceiving? Just don't quit planting those little seeds in your husbands head. You know what pulls at his heart strings when it comes to babies... Good Luck, L. C.

I first want to say that honoring your husband is the most important thing for you to do.
Then I know that you have plenty of space for two kids, we just added a third into our kids bedroom, and the oldest is only 3 1/2.
There will always be reasons for waiting, no house is big enough for toddlers. But i honestly think it is good for kids to not just be close in age, but to not have everything. I mean it has only been so many years that the idea of having your own room was even imagined. besides, having a bigger house will make you want more stuff, and then you won't be able to afford to have another baby.
Communicate with your husband that you are happy where you are living, and feel satisfied with how he is providing for you. Releive the pressure that he is probably feeling to get you a bigger and better house. Then h e will feel more confident about adding more kids.

Thank you so much for writing this! I've really enjoyed reading the wonderful responses. We have a similiar situation here. We live in a tiny condo. Under 900 sq. ft and 2 br/1 bath. My daughter is 17 months. I had a miscarriage in 2003 and didn't get pregnant again until 2006. So, I know it could take us awhile again. I never went back on BC after giving birth to our daughter. Lately I have noticed I'm starting to get that baby itch. So far just a little bit :) I see all the cute itty bitty baby things in the stores, people with newborns, I really enjoyed pregnancy, and Id love to give my daughter a sibling someday. Anyway, Im rambling...If you're worried for financial reasons I've noticed it hasn't been to expensive for our family. She has some awesome grandparents that love to spoil. :) I also breastfeed and cloth diaper. Cloth diapers have come a LONG ways. Its not bad at all. So many people thought I was crazy and wouldn't stick with it but here we are... I wouldn't do it any other way. (feel free to contact me if you have any questions on it!) Of course she is eating some solids but that doesn't add to much to our grocery bill.

I agree with the other mamas. I would let nature take its course if your husband is okay with that. Everything will fall into place.

We have 6 children contained in two rooms - I will say though, thank goodness we have two full bathrooms, or no one would ever get to go! Lol.. I'm sure you'll be ok with two if the Powers That Be see fit to bless you with one before you are able to move :) Bunkbeds rock. Containing each child's toys in a reasonable manner in a limited space...well...I'll keep you updated on that one, lol...

I just wanted to let you know...we also have an 850 sq ft house with 2 bedrooms, 1 bath. We have both our boys in one room. While it is a little crowded right now since there is a bed and a crib, it will get better when we can start using the bunk bed. I kinda like the situation. My boys have just over 4 years between them. I think being so close is good for them to help make up for the age difference. When it's dark at night, they literally cannot fall asleep without the other one there.

We have two daughters under 4 1/2 (they're 18 months apart) in a two bedroom house. Okay - key word difference we're in a much bigger house versus condo. It's still only two bedrooms, one bath. Our daughters have shared a room since the youngest was sleeping through the night (we didn't co-sleep though, she slept in a bassinet in the living room). They LOVE it, they even have "sleep overs" on occassion where we find one of them in her sisters bed! We're a one income family (I work full time, he stays home with the kids). His family thought that we shouldn't have a second child because my husband wasn't working, so how could we afford her. Our theory is, if you wait until everything is ready - bigger house, enough money, bigger car, whatever your scenario - you'll never have that second child. We were also critized because they were close together - but I have a medical condition that required me to get the okay from my neurologist to go off my meds. We don't know what the next year brings, so we opted for close together.

I guess my point is this - I suppose it's okay to wait until you get into a bigger house. What if you never do? You also need to realize that if you really want a second child, then you do it when you feel you are emotionally ready for that to happen. You have a point that it may take a while to conceive, it may not. At the same time, I also know that both husband & wife need to be ready. There are other options out there as well to selling your condo - what about renting it out? You may also find that a young couple, or single person, would be willing to buy it. You never know. Good luck - whatever you both decide.

Hi L.!
All I have to say is don't wait too long! I waited to long now I can't have anymore children. I have one high spirited 5 1/2 year old boy. For me it was the other way around. My husband wanted another one right away, and I didn't. Actually, I was content with one. Now, recently I do want another one and feel like I have more of a handle on things. I'm like you, I had a miscarriage 4 years ago. :(
However, I was just told a few months ago that I have POF (Premature Ovarian Failure.) I don't have any more periods or any more eggs left (via ultrasound) for that matter! So, escentually, I'm in menopause, and I'm only 37. (I am only 1% of the population whom this happens to.)
Now, I'm not telling you to ditch the birth control and go jump your husband...but just take this into consideration.
If you are a praying person, pray to God and ask for wisdom to know what to do. Then, talk to your husband in a few weeks after praying. Don't keep bugging him. Let God take the lead after that.
I'm just a regular person, not a counselor. I thought I would just give you my perspective.
Good luck! If you don't mind I'll pray for you and your family too!

L.,
I was 27 when I had my first baby, I had been married 3 years and my husband and I had been together for a total of 7 years. Why did we wait so long to start our family? Because we kept waiting for the time to be "right". Waiting for more money in the bank, fixing up the house a bit more, getting a better vehicle, etc. etc. etc.

My cousin told me something that really made me stop and rethink our couse of action. He said "you will never be ready for a new baby, never. But once they're here things always seem to fall into place for them." Well he was right!

We now have 5 boys, we live in a farmhouse that is a remodeling work in progress. It never seems to be done! Space is a bit tight at times, but the kids don't know any different and don't seem to mind too much. Now I am sorry I waited so long. Want to know something else? My cousin was right, everything does always seem to work out ok. But you have to remember that you will never have the perfect conditions for anything in life.

I know this is an old worn out cliche but I have found it to be so true, "Life is what happens to you when your busy making other plans." I wouldn't nag your husband about this, and if he is in agreement about it you could look at it this way for now, don't try for another baby, but don't try to prevent it either. If its meant to be then it will happen right away, if not then maybe it will take awhile. It has been my experience that God always makes a way for us.

Good luck to you.

we currently live in a 1200 sq ft house with 1 bath... we have 3 kids. (2 boys and a girl) They are all about 3 yrs apart and they all share a room... Come the time that DD gets to needing her own room we should be able to move...
Coming from a family of 5 kids with 5 bd rms in our home, I can say that we rarely used them all... We wanted to share rooms... :-)
Don't force the issue with hubby, But if his only case against it is room, you could have another boy and it wouldn't be an issue.
Even though he may say he won't mind another one does not mean he's ready to have one NOW... Like you said it was a lot of work to get baby 1. That is the memory he has of it and then the loss of one on top of it. He may be scared but not know how to say it.
Just keep planting the seed and one day it will grow. Just make sure that your not nagging him about it.
He's looking out for the family and wanting to make sure that financially you'll be able to handle it also.
Pray about it and be paitient. Keep talking about it sometimes and see what happens.
Good Luck!!

Hi L.,
If space is the only issue you could do it. We have 2 boys that share a room. They are 2 and almost 5. When the second was born we kept him in a bassinet for almost 5 months and then he was sleeping through the night so we put them together and its fine. We have a 2 bedroom house that we were planning to sell when the second was born but with the housing market we are waiting. It will be nice for them to have their own room eventually but for right now its ok. Plus if you start trying it might take away to get pregnant so maybe the market will turn by then. Good luck.
Chris

L.,

I guess I don't know how much advice I can give, but I can totally understand how you feel...I am/have been going thru the same thing. My daughter turned 2 in May and I was hoping to get pregnant by this month which would put the kids no more than 3 years apart. But when DH and I first started talking about kid #2, the usual subject of finances/current living situation came up. I think this is a dilemma that a lot of us go thru...our natural instincts tell us to have more children, but reality kicks in and its like, can we really afford another child? I know you didn't mention finances exactly, but more of your living situation. Well we live in a 900 sq ft 2 bedroom apt because that's the biggest we can find for the price we can afford. I know people say, if you wait until you can afford kids, then you'll never have them. And I say, well at least I have one. lol. And even though I REALLY want a second child, I just can't help but think, what kind of financial strain is this going to cause my family?

Sorry, I realize I rambling now, but here's what it came down to for me...I am a person of faith. I believe that things happen for a reason, and so what is meant to be, will be. So my husband and I sat down, had a real heart-to-heart about this and we both expressed our feelings, and we decided that we will let happen whatever is meant to be. So, we not using protection (but not specifically trying either) and we are on the lookout for opportunities to raise our income & find a bigger place to live. If I get pregnant and nothing else changes, then things will work themselves out somehow. Hey, my husband lost his job 2 weeks before our daughter was born...holy cow that was stressful! But things worked out then, and I believe they will work out again. And if I don't get pregnant again (even though I REALLY want to), then I have come to terms with that just may be what is in store for my life.

Good luck to you. :-)

I can understand both of your points of view. Maybe it is not common to raise a family in a small condo here, but it is what almost every family in Europe does. Housing there is just smaller. I wish you both the best making the right decision for your family.

L.,

I am in the almost the exact situation you are. My husband and I have an 18mo daughter and we would both love another one, however we are in a 900sq ft apartment and we don't have the money for a down payment on a house yet. So a little different but similar situation.
Initially my husband and I decided after much talking and pouring my heart out to him that we would start trying to have a baby after we had $2,000 in the bank set aside for a baby. (I have my babies at home and that is the approximate cost)
However in talking we decided that having another one besides the cost of the birth wouldn't add that much money to our budget.
I am just starting to potty train my daughter, so diapers won't be an extra cost issue, plus I have decided to use cloth diapers, so it will cost even less.

Clothes will be the biggest expense as the likely hood of our second baby being a girl and born the same time of year so she'll fit in my daughters clothes is pretty slim. But, I buy almost everything at second hand shops and both of our parents love buying clothes for the little one.
You already have the toys you will need for the first year or so until you need more gender specific toys if you have a girl this time.

Space wise for sleeping arrangements, we have 2 bedrooms and one is the office and one is our bedroom which our daughters crib is in. She slept with us for the first year of her life
and took naps in a pack and play and then we bought a crib shortly after she turned one.
I don't know if you co sleep at all but you could have your new baby sleep with you for a year or so while your first sleeps in a crib, or maybe by that time he'll be in a bed and your baby can have the crib... Just a thought, that is something we're thinking through as we talk about our 2nd.
SO really the extra cost isn't that much and the space a little one will take up isn't much either until they start walking which by the time you conceive, deliver and they start walking could be over 2 years and that may be enough time to get out of your current housing situation and move one.
Also, I have always heard that you will never regret having a child, but you may regret not having one.

I hope that helps a little bit as my husband and I have had similar conversations.

B.

Only thing I can say is we waited to adopt our daughter until everything was perfect. Huge house, plenty of income, etc. and then it all fell apart 6 months after we got her due to a significant loss of income. So much so we moved into one of our rental houses (here in MI) and had to sell our big house (we were living in FL at the time). Funny thing is, our daughter actually slept better at our new house, seemed happier and more content. Plus her grandparents live nearby and she loves to see them more often!

So now we are in a similar position. Our house is 780 sq ft, 2BD/1BA- couldn't sell it if we tried right now. We're back on track now and we want to adopt a second child but are debating saving for adoption fees or a bigger house again. My daughter is almost 3 and I'd like them to be closer in age, not so much for them, but for my own sanity.

Here's my thought... once you are certain what YOU want, go to your husband and be totally up front about it. Ask him to consider/think/pray about it and you'll want to revisit the topic in two months. Then say NOTING until the 2 months is up. Don't keep reminding him that he is supposed to be thinking about it. In two months as him how he feels. I think you'll be surprised how much things can change.

We live in a 1000 sq ft, 2 bedroom, 1 bath home and just had our 2nd in May. We had every intention of getting a bigger house before having the 2nd but eventually came to realize that you can't wait for the perfect time to have kids.

Have the baby for your baby, my husband is an only child. He said that until having his children he never realized what he missed out on as an only child. His father has passed away and now all he has is his elderly mother. I was raised with two sisters and a brother, we all talk and get together often. I could'nt imagine my life without them. Squeeze the new baby in with your other child. Birth control sucks just relax and pray that it happens. Count from the day your period starts, around day 12-14 your should be ovulating.
I sometimes feel achy when ovulating and don't feel like fooling around, but do it, it's for a great cause.
Thak GOD everyday for the child and man that you have. :)