Do I Discipline for This Behavior?

My son was easily frustrated like this as well. It's that in-between phase when they know what they want but they can't verbalize it & can't always make their little bodies do what they want it to. It wasn't popular when my kiddos were little, but I've read a lot about how much baby sign language can help bridge this gap. Something that did help when my son was little - although it certainly wasn't a quick fix - was I told him over & over when he got frustrated to ask for help. It wasn't a quick fix, but eventually learned to come ask me for help before he got so frustrated he started throwing things or crying. One more thing...if you find that there are particular toys that are frustrating him, I would put them up for a few months & try again later. Specifically, we had to put the Duplos away when my son was about 18 months old because he wanted to play with them but they wouldn't stay stacked the way he wanted them to & he would inevitably end up having a huge meltdown because of it. Hope some of these ideas help!!!

I personally don't think diciplining would really help but show/help him to do thing calmly the right way so maybe that will ease his frustrations. Getting frustration out is quite normal for the little ones for a while. We just need to teach them how to deal with it other ways.

Maybe just walk away/redirect him for a little while and then go back to it. That Always helps my youngest.

Hope this helps.
M.

I wouldn't discipline for the behavior, just keep doing what your doing by talking him through the frustration...the words will come. Also when you see him getting frustated redirect towards another toy or something. I have experienced this behavior from my son who is a late talker...he just turned two Sept. 2 and it's like a light switch has gone off and the words are just coming out...

My 14 month old throws things every time he gets angry. He bites occasionally, too. I just distract him with something else or move him to another location with an activity less likely to make him angry. Your son is still a baby and doesn't understand how to control his anger. I would not punish him for something he doesn't even understand and doesn't know how to control yet. He is way too young to reason with and to try to explain why we don't throw toys. Just use distraction and wait until he is older to talk to him about how to handle his anger. Good luck!!

Not sure on what you should do seeing as he doesn't have a big vocab as you stated. My son was the exact same way! At 18 months he had maybe 3-5 forwards that he used regularly. I told the doctor and they referred me to ECI (Early Childhood Intervention). They're a state program and they come out and access your child and if they see where he could use some help they arrange it for you. Payment is based on income level. I don't think you have to pay anything if your less then like $55K/year or if your over it's like $20 a visit. Anyways, they had a speech ther. come out to our house and to his MDO program once a week since he was 18 months and now that he just turned 2-he's saying A LOT more! He's less frustrated and is starting to use more words to describe what he's wanting or feeling. He tells me help now when he wants help with his toys.
I'm thinking, like you seem to already know, he's frustrated with not being able to verbalize things and his acting out is his only way to do it. I'd mention it to your doc and maybe call ECI.

Hope things get better:)

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or want to talk :)

Hold his hands gently, and say it's going to be o.k. lets calm down now. Try the "that behavior isn't nice", and if getting him interested in something else doesn't work, then I think dicipline is in order for sure. It will get worse and someone around may get hurt with his throwing things, and he'll just have to learn it isn't permissible.

As far as throwing objects yes I would discipline this behavor. I would make my DD pick up the object she threw and showed her she hands it to me or sets it down. My DD is 27 months and has a speech delay also so I understand but I would not except this behavor.

I would dicipline for hitting objects as well. Time outs will work fine for this.

Now as far as banking his head on something...this I would NOT dicipline for I would redirect.

Talking to him like you have is great and continue to do so. It is frustrating when you cant get across to others what you are trying to say. Give him time...

I agree that this is on the normal side of behaviour for a frustrated toddler who can't express himself. But after reading a thread on here yesterday, I would ask, is he on Singualair by any chance?

Focus on showing him alternatives -- tell him what he CAN do when he's angry. When he gets angry he can blow bubbles/give you a big hug/stomp his feet/clap his hands really fast. Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually the words (and better actions) will come.

Jessica~I'm sorry but I don't have any advice, but you are so not alone. My 18 month old son is the EXACT same way! We say that he gets his patience and short fuse from me! I'm really interested in seeing what your responses are going to be. I could use the advice too on how to handle mine.

When my daughter went through a similar stage, I did the same verbalizing thing you did. Also, I made sure that she knew how to ask for help. For instance, "I know you're frustrated that you can't get this undone. Would you like mommy to help you? Here's how you do it...now you try". It's worth a shot anyway! Good luck - try to stay patient and know that it is probably a stage!!

Personally I think it's good to show him alternatives but maybe some little time outs might help with this behavior and give him a minute to cool off at the same time.

Don't let some of the replies scare you. This is pretty normal behavior for his age, not likely due to an allergic reaction in his diet. Most toddlers in this age range have issues trying to communicate. They don't know how to show their frustration, so he throws or hits his head. My sone is 18 months old and we ignore his tantrums if they aren't too bad, if they are the bad ones we simply distract him with something else. We do use sign language, which helps him communicate. Just make sure he is safe and can't cause any serious harm, try to distract him. One thing we never do is reward him for tantrums, if he is throwing a fit I won't pick him up or console him - he has to calm down, then I pick him up and love on him. Since we have started this, he still throws fits, but they aren't as long or severe.

Good luck!

My toddler gets frustrated as well. We have been using sign language. I remember when our child signaled "more" for the first time before she could actually say the word. She was so excited that we understood. I noticed that she did not get as frustrated. Pretty easy to teach and learn. If she starts crying and screaming out of frustration, I ignore her until she signs or says the word if she knows it. She has also shown me what she needs before. The best thing that works for me is ignoring the bad behavior and rewarding the good. good luck!!

I used natural consequences for this - it worked with 2, not so well with the last one. That means when he hits his head on something, no sympathy. When he throws a toy, he looses it for at least twice as long as it takes him to miss it.

S.

Hi Jessica,

I think you've seen my response on the possibility of food allergies/gluten intolerance (celiac) for this problem.

I think you need to do both - he needs to learn that some of his behavior isn't acceptable and your empathy and showing him alternatives will go a long way later in life. At the same time, this behavior should not be considered normal (despite the number of boys that might behave in this way) and I believe there is a root cause in terms of basic nutrition. Here's a story that could describe many of our sons:
http://www.blockcenter.com/ADD_ADHD/Jason's_Story.html

Dr. Block also has a pointer to research that shows that prisoners have a dramatic reduction in their anti-social behavior, anger and violence when given certain basic nutrients:
http://bjp.rcpsych.org/cgi/content/full/181/1/22

There are actually 35 journal articles on this topic in the medical research literature per www.pubmed.com

So, I honestly wonder how many of these toddlers are already headed towards these problems later in life when basic nutrition and removal/treatment of allergic reactions is the root. Also, ADD/ADHD drugs are NOT the answer and recent research shows that as well as stunting physical growth, they also impact brain growth - not a good thing IMHO. Dr. Block also has all the details on the side effects of these drugs (per FDA information) on her website.

You will also enjoy:

http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=29Qhmp...

K.