Do You Look Forward to Mothers Day?

Don't you think you are making the day more miseable by complaining about it already? And...it's not even here yet, so now you will be having TWO miserable days in a row!!

My dh to be has definately bought something, but for me mothers day is special no matter what, as its always at least close to my middle DD's birthday (monday this year) so tomorrow, its her day as well & I have an awesome cake (same one every year, st honore, like a cream puff cake) Im happy with anything, but especially love hand made gifts from the kiddos, a card from 14 month old with hand prints would be nice (but maybe too much work for dh!) Its a special family day no matter what. Why be let down, either tell him what you would like, or take the kids "to pick up something for mommy", plants etc. I was a single mom for many years, and always assisted the kids in this stuff even if it was for me, kids love to give something special!

As I've gotten older, I don't look forward to special days for me as much as for my daughter and my students.

Since Mother's Day is a day that's for just me, I guess I should be looking forward to it, but it is just another day for me. I don't expect anything, but I'm not into getting gifts and that sort of thing. Just doesn't thrill me to open gifts much anymore. Besides, I feel like my gift is being able to still have my mother to share this day with and to be a mother to my daughter.

I understand the let down.....I was like that years ago on special days and then just decided that it was silly to get bent out of shape over a day when my husband is a really good husband and does his best to show me his love all year 'round and not just on special days. He may not buy me the greatest gifts or all that, but he expresses his love everyday in numerous ways and I am content with that.

I do agree with the other poster who said to wake him up and tell him what you want, if it's truly bugging you. He seems clueless, so clue him in. Wake him up and say that you're going shopping and will see him later and then say "Happy Mother's Day to me!" He'll get the clue.

:) Happy Mother's Day!

Every year I read all these posts by moms who are upset about Mother's Day and I have to say I just don't get it, and I'm really sick of all the whining and complaining. Isn't that what we tell our kids NOT to do?

I have two friends who lost children to sudden accidental death in the last two years, another mom who just had a double mastectomy, yet another mom who has survived cancer twice but is scared to death it's going come back, and another mom who has had three heart attacks in the last two weeks -- and I (and they) are in our late 40s.

There are so many things worse than not getting a gift or feeling appreciated on Mother's Day. Make the day what you want it to be. For me, I like to sleep in, go to the zoo or a wildlife rehab center, take a walk and just enjoy the fact that my life is pretty good. Accentuate the positives and stop whining.

I know what you are gettting at but stop the whining and just try enjoying the day.. Think of the amazing women in your life. Resist doing all the stuff around the house. Sit yoursef down and take a breather. Don't let your mind get so worked up with the feelings of being unappreciated. I usually ask a couple days ahead.."So honey, what are you making for dinner for Mother's Day?" THis usually helps get the ball rolling for him.

For myself, my kids and hubby usually make me cards. They will go pick up some flowers at the last minute. I don't care that they didn't plan weeks in advance. A couple days ago I found a lump in my breast and had fears this might be my last Mother's Day with them. I got a clearance from my doctor yesterday that it is not cancer. PHEW! Tomorrow I will celebrate the day by simply enjoying another day with my family...and hopefully more to come.

I

Sometimes things

As long as my husband's not drinking, I can count on mother's day... and I REALLY look forward to it.

Of course, I also make it happen.

This year my 8yo son picked out a *super* cool present for me on his own a few weeks ago (a spaceship keyring from - such an awesome 8yo idea!) and we ordered it online. On Wed I sent a schedule of events (via email/sms) for what is happening on the day, including menu, to my husband and booked the appointments. We always* have a rockin mother's day.

* We didn't used to. I used to wait for a day to "happen" (esp since I made such a big deal for father's day), hint, or out and out ask for a few things... and they were awful. Then, when my son was 4 my husband was out of the country for a few months. Kiddo and I had the BEST mother's day ever. From then on, I planned them. One year got royally screwed up because my husband was drinking and was 'sick' in bed all day. It turned out okay, because I just crossed him off my 'list' but I didn't get to sleep in. From that year on my husband is 'optional' on my list. Meaning I can do everything I want without him needing to be present (like when he was overseas).

I'm not missing out because I'm planning them... I get everything I want, how I want it. It's a "me" day in that sense of the word. Anything extra is bonus.

I am right there with you. I would like tomorrow just not to be like any other day but I know it will be so I have already prepared for the let down. I asked my hubby if he would prefer I work on Sat or Sun for this weekend. His reply Saturday because me and the fellas are watching the fight Saturday night and I don't want to get up early with the girls. His idea of mother's day for me is cooking breakfast or dinner for us. While he is cooking I am still doing the five loads of laundry, washing both my daughter's hair, blowing out their hairs, changing sheets, cleaning toilets and doing the food shopping. All while working 6 days this week. Happy Mother's day to me :)
The only thing I look forward to is the gifts that my girls made in school that they are hiding on the deck to surprise me with tomorrow. I look forward to that. Just for once I wish he would get a clue and say honey here is the remote I ordered some netflick the movies I know you wanted to see. I made breakfast I am taking the girls to the super-market to do the food-shopping. You relax and enjoy the day. Oh and btw I will fill up your tank and clean your car. That would be heaven! Pity party for two coming up :)

I look forward to just about any holiday -even if it's just because I can do something or allow myself something a little extra special on that day. My husband is pretty good about holidays and birthdays -even though he's out of town this year for Mother's Day (I'm secretly thrilled!).

You need to tell your husband how his actions make you feel. YES -he should be more considerate, but people treat us the way we allow them to. Do you two take turns getting up with the kids on weekends? If not -why not? Why don't you go wake him up and TELL him you're leaving to go shopping in an hour, so he needs to get up so he can watch the kids. Ask him if he's made plans for the dinner you want tomorrow. Since you want to get take out, I'm not really sure what he's supposed to do other than get it when you want it, but go ahead and ask. Let him know your expectations for EVERY holiday -including tomorrow and tell him it's important to you and that he needs to recognize that. Do you do things for him on holidays and Father's Day? If he refuses to step up to the plate for you -quit bothering with him. Take charge of your happiness -even if he never gets it together for holidays, there's no reason you shouldn't be sleeping in on one weekend day and going shopping if you want, etc.

I don't care one way or another. We'll go to his parents for lunch and that will be it.

My four y/o made something at school with handprints so I'm happy.

I get my present(s) on the 18th and can't wait to see my friends for four days in a row, courtesy of the "Beautiful Man" aka Rick Springfield! It's going to be sooooo much fun. Four concerts, a book signing and a charity softball game!

I used to belong to your pity party :). Do I look forward to mother's day? sure I do, but I don't have expectations. Today, a day before mother's day, I have planned stuff for me and the girls for 8 hours. Swim lesson, b-day party to attend, then another party. Girls asked me to have a playdate tomorrow for mother's day and I said no, that it was our day, not to be spend with other kids.
I just like being out of the house with the family. We will get lunch somewhere and then go somewhere, maybe park or something. My husband does not have the romantic bone, but after years of me getting frames from him from mother's day I told him I wasn't going to frame anything but his head if he doesn't stop giving me frames. He stopped :)

i really look forward to and enjoy it. i'm so sorry to hear that it's such a let-down for so many! :(
birthdays are less exciting any more<G> and so it seems that i conversely enjoy mother's day more, especially now that i'm not a young mom with lots of expectations. the guys have promised to take care of the mares for me all weekend, and on sunday we can either go out or they'll provide dinner in some fashion. i hate crowds and the restaurants are always jammed, so i'll probably opt for chinese at home with a movie of my choice. the only gift i want is a trip to the plant nursery to get my annuals, but the ol' man will probably get me something anyway. the last couple of years it's been something pretty awesome (good jewelry or an i-pod).
i also set aside part of the day to remember my own mom, who died when i was 10. i still miss her. i have an awesome SM and MIL, but nothing takes the place of mom.
khairete
S.

Sorry to answer so late.....after 43 years of marriage, my children are grown so I do look forward to it....my husband always reminded me that "I am not his mother", but I had my own mother to celebrate with and always made sure that I sent a card to his mother.....my husband does not do anything for any special day.....it was hard to get used to, and I have felt resentful plenty of times.....but in general I have made sure that we do a little something or I do for someone else. For example, our anniversary is next week and I have told him that we will go to my favorite restaurant for lunch....I know we will have a good time.....I send anniversary cards to my children whose anniversaries are this month too.....I have a belated Mothers' Day outing with one daughter tonight and another one TBA......so don't waste your time being resentful, savor those hugs and affection from your little ones and your own mother, and bring joy to others and it will be
returned to you....another thing that I enjoy all year long is to sort of mentor younger mothers and cultivate friendships with them, because I had a number of older such mentors back in the day, and I appreciated them so much....plus I have vowed to myself to help my own children and 11 grandchildren as much as possible because that is what my mother did for me....I wish you the very best, and I think mothers of boys are saints (I have known two who each had 6 boys, and one of my daughters has two, and I don't know how they do it without at least one other girl in the mix!)

If your Husband is sleeping in late and 'forgets', wake him up. And then, STILL go and do, what you had planned.
You did tell him, what you would like to do.

So just go ahead and do it.

Since you were not able to go out alone today and do your shopping, do it tomorrow.

If it still does not work out this weekend, tell your Husband you are taking a rain-check, for NEXT weekend. And WILL do it then.

I wish you and I were around the corner from eachother. I am so dreading tomorrow. For one, kind of opposite, my children both made a lateral move out, one got married and the other is staying near him, too, but I keep wishing he'd move back. Next my husband is the same way. I think he should have called and told them that we could at least have a brunch or something (really is that my job, too? for Mother's day?) Plus, many other mother's days have been the same -that actual day, oops , he and they said 'wink, wink' we have to run to the store and then they come back with a card (My husband accidentally bought one for 'my mother' and gave it to me once teehee) and a six pack of Bud or something (for me of course?) and a flower (that was nice). If anything happens without a reminder from me, I am actually shocked. MOTHERS DAY IS THE SAME TIME EVERYYEAR! So, I do not know why they don't think about it. Then there is always the neighbor lady. Whose husband gets her a spa giftcard, sets up a plan to go out with his little ones and then takes them all to a fabulous dinner somewhere. Now don't feel bad this is usually the one who also knows exactly what jewelry to buy her. Yikes am I getting whiney. Must go back to sleep. Anyway, pity party for me, too. And I know I am grateful, at least I have a family a home and and, well you know...

My husband is so good to me everyday of the year which in my opinion is so much more important than what we do on one particular day of the year. Quite frankly it is a difficult day for me. Although I am so grateful I have two healthy, beautiful daughters I can not help but feel a little sad on Mother's Day since my son's death. My youngest daughter especially likes to make a big deal out of the day so I put on my happy face and go through the motions but I my eyes still fill up a little and feel drained by the end of the day. On Mother's Day I try to be thankful to God for making me a mother. Not everyone is blessed enough with this gift.
If your husband agreed to watch the kids, next time I would wake him up so you could go shopping. Have a happy Mother's Day:0)

Hey Mom
Happy Mother's Day to you!

You are not alone!

I am no longer married to my children's father but I am married. Some years my husband acknowledge me and some he doesn't since I am not the mother of his kids.

My kids are grown and gone now! YEAH! The last bird left the nest last weekend! They usually get me a card and a small gift if they can.

Husbands should make sure that their children from babies on up get their Mothers a gift or card or something. Further men should acknowledge the mothers of their children, even if they are not married to them. Many don't. My childrens father doesn't.

What you may want to start doing is celebrating yourself on Mothers Day. Order your dinner. Get your hair and nails done. Buy
yourself a new dress or something. I usually order myself a cassada cake. Do something for you and say its from the kids. Many men just aren't thoughtful like women and they just don't realize how important it is for us to get that special attention on Mothers Day and at other times also.
Please keep us posted on how it turns out.
Dee

Plan your own party. If your kids are old enough to make you a card, sit down at a table with them today and tell them today's special project is to make you a card because "your day" is tomorrow! Bake a dessert and write Happy Mothers Day on top of it. Buy a bow to put on top of the carry outs and put candles on the table.Teach your kids that this is a day to honor you! I was a single mom and other than the short years of elementary school, where the kids are usually guided to make something for mom, Mother's Day was never a holiday. Even though I made sure my ex always had something for Fathers Day, he never returned the favor. Mothers Day was just a day that I took my mother out. Flash forward 30 years. My mother is still alive at 90. I still take her out for Mothers Day, my siblings are all out of state and don't come in, my own daughter lives on the other side of the country. I dread Mothers Day. So please, while you are still young, make it a special day even if you have to plan it yourself. Put on your best celebratory smile and make it a party! Grab it while you can and start some traditions! Happy Mothers Day to you!

After reading some of the responses, I have to acknowledge that my husband does do wonderful in this area. We are struggling in some other areas, but I am glad to read this so I can also see that we do actually have very positive aspects of our marriage too.

I am amazed when my husband actually starts asking me what I need/want for most holiday/birthday etc. a couple weeks in advance. It does show me he really cares. Last weekend I had a flat tire and hubby stopped everything he was doing to take my car to get the tire repaired. He came back with 4 new tires on my car. That was so sweet of him to take time away from his list of tasks to do it for me. Our neighbor has been driving on her spare tire for 6 months now. I joked with him that the new tires are my mother's day gift. :) I really would've been okay with that, but I think he's planning on getting me a more realistic mother's day gift.

He is a blessing and I appreciate all the responses so I could recognize how blessed I am in this part of our marriage.
I'm sorry for those of you who aren't recognized for the amazing mother's that you are.

i'll come to your pity party if you come to mine. lol. So far today I've busted my butt to prep food to take to my mom's for dinner, while taking care of the house and kids, cause my husband had to go to 6 different stores to look for a frame for whatever (i'm sure it's great) picture he did for me of the kids for tomorrow. Only for him to come home and hand me the picture without a frame cause he couldn't find one, so then I got to figure out who in town mats and frames oddly sized photos for him to go back out for another hour. All the while I've been up since 630 with the baby, while he slept till 8. cooked breakfast for the 5 of us, made the clothesline I wanted so I can hang my cloth diapers now that the weather is nice, weeded the garden, cooked lunch and made stuffed shells for 8 people for tomorrow. Yup I'm annoyed. It was thoughtful until he walked in and I had to figure out my own gift. then it became just one more thing i have to do for everyone else. I actually dislike most holidays' because i get very little help with the big stuff like cooking and decorating ect. and it's a LOT of work. I'm sure tomorrow I will have to get up and clean up the house and help get all the kids ready to go to my mom's and i still have to bake her a cake tonight...........

worse yet i'm always left feeling like and ungrateful b*tch, but really the best gift would be a simple day when I don't have to do it all and can actually shower when I want and pee with the door closed and drink a cup of coffee without anyone coming and and asking me a where their mp3 player is or where their ds is or to tell me so and so is doing this or have the baby start to cry or have my husband asking me how to do something as he tries (and fails) to be helpful 9because really by the time i explain it to him 101 times in detail, i could have had it done 101 times myself)

I have discovered that if I want to do something special for myself then I need to just do it. I kiss him on the cheek to wake him up, tell him the baby is fed, diapered and this is where everything is. I'm leaving, if you need me call, but try not to need me. Then I leave. Whether he is up and out of bed or not.

As for mothers day . . . it is not a day to celebrate with my DH. I go out to eat with my mom. The kids make me breakfast (my usual piece of toast with PB) and give me the things they made at school. Instead of cleaning, I try and concentrate on spending time with them.

I have come to figure out that Mothers Day is NOT for us-it is really for the people that love us. The things that are happening for me tomorrow are purely for my sons and husbands satisfaction-not mine. What I really want is to go out to dinner...what is happening is that my husband is cooking for me, my mom and sisters family. So...we are now having COMPANY on mothers day-great. As much as he tells me that he will do it all that is just so not true. I cannot have 10 people over and NOT do something. His definition of cleaning for company and cleaning up AFTER company is completely different from my own. If it were up to him half the dinner prep would sit out until Monday morning or until he got a chance to put it away-and he is perfectly fine with that. So....I will be spending mothers day cleaning and taking care of people-same as usual. I am going out today though to buy the very expensive purse that I have had my eye on-that is one thing I have learned to not leave up to him!

I dread it. My husband is a chef and will be working till around 2pm. He is interviewing for a new job (fingers crossed bc he will be homw like a normal work schedule) so we have to go find him something to interview in. I am with kids always,except for when I work, and I thank God for that escape! My husband does not help out much, partly because he is at work 15 hours a day and dooesn't feel like it. Have yourself a pity party, but wait till mother's day, because it is your day after all!

my birthday falls on mother's day this year. my husband just normally takes us out to a restaurant of my choice for mother's day, if he's not working. i really don't care. tomorrow's mother's day, i am going to my sister's for the day to go swimming with the kids while my husband stays home and sleeps from night shift. i will come home and cook dinner, take care of the kids, etc. just like another day. it really is to me, just another day. if i want a cake, i can get one anytime. if i want whatever, i just tell him and we will see if we can get it. the only day i make a big deal about is christmas for the kids. all other's are no big deal. we have even scaled back on birthdays for everybody. kids get present and pick somewhere they want to go.

No. I've been married for 38 years, and "he" doesn't change too much. But circumstances do! Before you know it, your children will be in school, where they will make you little things or buy you a plant. Make sure you make a big deal out of this to nurture their giving instinct, as daddy will always have an influence on them by what he does or does not do. Encourage his loving his own mother, take care of yours, and pamper yourself when you can. I didn't do that last one for years; but I finally learned to enjoy my own birthday by making myself a cake, etc.
If you ask me, shopping on Mother's Day is what would make it "just like any other day." But if it's what you need, try to fit it in somehow. If not, try not to let it make you feel let down; decide to be happy anyway. Our satisfaction is in our own heads; we have to learn to accept people as they are. Only they can decide to change, and that takes years. Good luck, and Happy Mother's Day!

I did until this week!!! Here in DC for the past 5 years, we've gone to the National Mall for a Public Service Awareness - ALL of our militaries are out there with their wares - it's a BLAST!! My boys get to talk to military men and women, touch their guns, put on their parachutes and soooo much more!!!

Thanks to our wonderful (NOT!) representatives up on The Hill - they couldn't set aside the $$$$ to do it this year...

I know we'll still order Chinese food - I won't have to cook or do much of anything unless I want to....I am pretty much taken care of!!! I'm sorry your husband can't see the forest through the trees - wake him up and tell him you are going shopping and he needs to take care of the kids!

I have never expected anything. I don't like my husband wasting money and I would rather have time with my family. I have always been the type that doesn't like any attention on myself. I am more comfortable with my kids just being around and spending the day with me.

I learned a long time ago that my "engineer" of a husband simply doesn't think creatively and doesn't like to go to Hallmark. Really, he hates it. He does it three times a year: anniversary, Vday/Bday (two weeks apart) and Mother's Day. Why? Because I told him that I don't expect gifts or "extras" on those days, but that I would be very hurt if there was no card. Ditto on the dinner plans. I'm not cooking on those days. Period. Figure it out b/c it's your job that day.

I'm not saying that you are whining b/c you're not, but next year tell him very clearly what your expectations are or what your plan is for the day on Friday night. Remind him on Saturday and ask him if there's anything that he needs to make sure that happens (coffee maker preset, extra snacks in the pantry, map to the local park, whatever). Sunday- stick to the plan. If he doesn't follow the plan, then it's his own damn fault that he's sleeping on the sofa!

No, my Mom passed away two years ago and we struggled with IF for many years. This will be my first Mother's Day as a new Mom but I'd still rather skip it. DH is letting me sleep in both weekend days so that part is nice! Still this day has hurt for too many years to be enjoyed.

On that note, Happy Mother's Day everyone!

A friend once gave me the advice if somebody forgets your birthday, it's your fault. This isn't blaming you but your kids are young, set the tone now.
My mother used to go to the local jewelry store and pick out 4-5 things(reasonable stuff not diamonds) that she liked and when my dad would come in, that is what they would show him. If you want to go shopping for Mothers Day let him know you are heading out at 9:15 so he's got the kids from 8:45 on so you can get ready. Let him know what time you'll be back and which restaurant you want to order from for dinner.

It's your life, how do you want to live it. It isn't going to occur to him to have a card waiting on the table -if that is important to you tell him so clearly that there is no confusion OR decide what is important. "I hereby declare that Mother's day is 4hours of my out of the house by myself and takeout for dinner".

I ask my husband, "what are we having for Mothers Day dinner?" 10 years of Mothers days and last night was the first time he MADE Lasagna.

Wanted to add what I did yesterday that was kinda funny. My girls and I were at a nursery and I bought (on impulse) a beautiful flower shrub FOR ME! and said that's my gift for Mother's Day b/c my hubby's not the best either on these "holidays", but pretty good on other things thru out the year. When I told him I got it, feeling a little guilty b/c it was pricey, he says "so we don't have to get you anything for Mother's Day? " ha! (he sounded relieved!) This is actually funny to me b/c I know he struggles with these things. I wish you peace today and pat yourself on the back for everything you do for your children that you love so much : )

I haven't read any other responses. I can honestly say .... it's "almost" like every other day. I'm a single mom...my daughter is 8 - she always makes me something sweet (sometimes her dad will let her pick out a cheap little gift for me too) which is super nice. And, 99% of the time we end up going to the pool together or the beach together on mothers day ... sometimes my sisters/their kids/my mom come along sometimes not. So, it's a nice but not a huge production.

I totally agree with you. My Mom lives far away, so I can't really celebrate with her. My MIL and step MIL are great, but it annoys me that as with every holiday and birthday, *i* am the one buying and sending the cards, making calls and plans because DH never takes any intiative. I would like it if DH did something nice for me to acknowledge me as our kids mother, but he just hates obligatory holidays, and I get the "your not my mother" sentiment from him. The only thing I do like is the little cards and things my girls make for me.

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A lot of husbands are not good at the holiday stuff, specially on Mother's day because they think you're not their mother; however, if I was you I would try to focus on your beautiful children and what it means for you to be their mother. The joys the bring you and their little kisses and hugs.
Forget about your husband for today and just enjoy being a Mom and, a daughter of what I'm sure is a wonderful mother to you.
Enjoy YOUR day!

Same here. My husband doesn't do much for Mother's Day either. He claims it's not his job, I'm not his mother. It the kids job, but he doesn't do anything to help them out either.
I am really starting to like Facebook though. Both of my older kids who have FB sent me really nice messages today. And on my birthday (which my husband usually asked if I bought myself anything) I got all kinds of nice birthday wishes from friends.
I did get some good hugs from my younger 2 today.

i didnt read them all but u were kinnda getting some flack for complaining.
well, poo!
you dont have to have a house full of roses and a whole day p[lanned, and it doesnt sound like thats what ur asking for!
i think its pretty crumby he staid up late and then slept in, and if he'd a been my husband, he'd have heard about it!
to many women expect Nothing from thier men! and treat them like another child. He a grown man, one day is not too much to ask! I say make ur stand now. if he's gonna behave like a puppy, then train him like a puppy!

...sorry, kinda went off, there. and probably read more into this than there was. i have been dealing with some Seriously Neglected girlfriends with useless redneck husbands lately and it just make me so sad and upset. so i guess im venting.
i just count my blessing that i have a wonderful affectionate thoughtfull husband that actually Wants to help with the baby, and Wants to help with the house, and Wants to be the Best husband and Father he can be. instead of doing the minimum he can get away with!

But that being said, he does so much for me Everyday, that i would be happy with the simplest of gestures on mothersday. even just a card and a kiss.

Just go out. Tell him when you are leaving, never when you will be back or give yourself an extra hour beyond what u think. Men generally are clueless with mothers day. I scheduled myself a massage and toenails. Told him in advance and left.

We went to dinner on Saturday as my gift. I don't want presents though HOWEVER if he did get me one I'd be thrilled. I still got up and took my son to church. my son went to babysitting. Then went to the grocery, did dishes, made my son lunch. I got so many hugs from my son on Mothers day that it made the day great. All you want is just for one day not to make dinner and maybe do some shopping alone, I get it. my husband was going mountain biking but the weather stopped him.
Just tell husband when your walking out the door for shopping and leave it at that. Just say one last time, I'm not taking the kids. I have to do that or I would never get to shop on my own.

Glad I'm not alone in this! I hope your day was better than you expected. Mine was fine because I was with my mom - thank the Lord, she is still with me - and with my children. Oh, and with my husband, father and BIL. The men did make dinner for us. But my husband actually makes a joke about it -- when he saw I'd bought cards for my mom and his mom, he asked me if I bought a card for myself (from him). I've never received a gift from him for Mother's Day, my birthday, or Christmas. It's been 15 years now. So, I guess I just am thankful that my children are old enough now that they remember to make me beautiful cards and tell me how much they appreciate me and what I do for them. I have the best kiddos in the whole world.
Blessings to you,
J.

Oh - and to those who can't find it in themselves to sympathize with another mom over this, and are tired of us complaining - DON'T READ THE FREAKING POSTS!!! It's obvious from the titles or at least the first few lines, what the posts will be about. So if you don't want to hear it, don't read it!

I dont like it for the same reason I dont like Valentine's day, it's so forced. I'd much rather my husband or baby surprise me with letting me sleep in on a weekend than buy me flowers out of some crazy holiday's obligation.

I get so mad with every little marked celebration on this damn calendar...

You are not alone. my father never did anything for my mother on mothers day.---his stance she was not his mother --even though we were too young to be aware of what Mothers day was.

I think being a mother we do the "job" without expecting any appreciation. Our appreciation is the giggle we get from our children when we play with them.........the times when we are the only one who can comfort them....the hugs and kisses that are only ours. It is nice to be appreciated and to be treated special but it should not have to be on a special day......it is the small daily appreciations.......the smiles we get that show we are loved and appreciated.
Hope that helps
Happy belated Mother's Day -- You do deserve a day of pampering and hopefully you can afford a babysitter so you can treat yourself!

UPDATED: oops! nevermind what i said about my husband sucking at gifts and surprises. he did get up early when the baby woke up-i slept in an extra hour! he made breakfast (eggs, biscuits, bacon, broiled tomato) and had helped our oldest write the message for my card from the boys, and i got a cute gift he made at preschool, and then i got a GREAT card (PERFECT card, not the first one you pick up at the store), and a gorgeous diamond and sapphire bracelet. i was really, really surprised by that. it fits perfectly, and it matches a ring i have beautifully! he said he noticed at last week's yacht hop that i wasn't wearing jewelry and he thought it was about time i got some pretty things that i would never buy myself. very sweet. :) now to get on with the day....just wanted to give credit where credit was due.

My boys are greatness, and my husband is awesome. He's great at showing me he loves me on a daily basis, but on "special" days, he kinda sucks, lol. I gave him a gift last year that made him cry. He took it to work to show everyone (he actually took it everywhere for quite awhile) because he thought it was cool. Last year's mother's day I made the plans (to see Peter Pan live, with the kids, but my oldest caught ear infection and wasn't up to it)....so I had a sitter come in and watch him when he napped so we could go eat. He felt badly about it, but too late. I know we're blessed enough for my husband to rush home from a hard day of work and go to our events, have father/son time with our oldest while I keep the younger, or play with the youngest while I take the oldest out. He makes sure we have dates (we found a babysitter! Life is back to normal!), we go on family outings, game night can be any night, etc. But....don't put the pressure on for a holiday because his brain just short circuits and turns to mush!
This year: I waited until Thursday and said "Do we have plans for Sunday?" and he said "Uh, not really....oh.....do you know what day it is?" and I said "Yes. Do we have plans, or am I rsvp'ing to a birthday party?" (our oldest son's classmate). He said "Yes, we can go to that" so I did. Yesterday we closed on a house we're purchasing and I said "Oh, happy mother's day to me" and he seemed really relieved and said "Yeah! Does that count! Whew! I gave a better gift this year than any of your girlfriends will get". I just shook my head and laughed it off. It COULD be annoying. But I just try to remember he works hard, is there for me and the boys, and it just is what it is. He shows me he loves me, he surprises me with flowers, CDs, a book he heard me mention, cards where he writes sweet notes for no reason...he just really bites at gifts on the "holidays". So I do my own thing and figure part of mom's job is making everyone feel special, and so it's my job to make my own plans or make myself feel good (ha).
Last weekend was super busy: kid's soccer game, air show, church, equestrian expo, pedicure, great date night at a yacht hop. This weekend: not as busy-kid's soccer game, the rest of the day is a bit "open" and we'll probably do a few chores, go to Lowes to shop for paint for the new house, possibly go to the beach. Tomorrow looks like church, lunch, a child's birthday party, and I'm cooking a dinner we all love. Bought tickets to see Chicago at the local theatre next weekend (also one of my husband's favorites) and I'll show them what I got at dinner tomorrow. My eldest goes to preschool and made a little gift wrapped in tissue paper, which I'll open at the same time. :P It is what it is, but I'll enjoy it. Like I said, part of what we moms do is take care of everyone and make them feel special. I figure that goes for making myself feel special too.

What is Father's Day like around your house?

Sometimes my husband gets me huge ridiculous gifts, sometimes i get nothing. Either way im happy, and i guess im low maintenance. He always remembers the day and tells me he loves me (but he does that every day anyway)

I have young kids too, honestly when mother's day rolls around I'm so focused on my mother and my MILs (I have 2, there's a stepMom) that I am not focused on me. I don't put any pressure on my husband, because he already helps out so much with our busy work days that I it really is just another day. over the last 4 years I have gotten a picture necklace, sewing machine, flowers, a card. I hope he surprises you and gives you something that'll show love. HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY :)

Nope b/c they don't make a big, small or any kind of deal about it. I just wish there was no Mother's Day. My family is great all year around (I get lots of hugs & kisses and I love you's) so I don't get too upset, but I do wish one day out of the year they could go a bit overboard.

Mother's Day is just like every other day for me. I work on Sundays (I have all day Saturday off and only work 5 hours on Sunday) so sleeping in/breakfast in bed never happens. A tornado couldn't wake my husband up so I guarantee if he set an alarm to wake up before me to try I would end up turning it off. As far as dinner or Mother's Day activities. My grandmother is the oldest mother (my mother passed away a few years ago) in the house so dinner will be up to her and if this year is like any other year we will go to the same bland authentic Mexican Food Restuarant we always do and the extent of my gifts will be the complimentary carnation they give out.

I know I sound let down but in reality I love both Mother's Day and Father's Day. My youngest was born the week before Mother's Day and my oldest was born the week before Father's Day so my husband and I received the two best gifts in the world. I don't expect anything to happen tomorrow because I plan on doing the same thing I do every Sunday.

I look at it like any other day, but my kids always go over the top - even when they were small, just with coloring things and the hugs and kisses. We alawys do a meal with my mom and dad (plus siblings and all) because they all live near. My MIL lives too far for things like this, like 24 hours of driving far. But I honesly celebrate being a mom every day :). I dont expect any gifts or anything more than a little appreciation for the things I do :).

I'm with you. Twenty six years ago my husband decided to not get me anything for mother's day because I wasn't his mother. My children were small and not able to do something themselves. He so spoiled this day for me. I took my kids to the store and bought something for me for mother's day. So when fathers day rolled around, I went ahead and bought him something just as I had always done. He didn't like it. So I don't do that anymore. I don't plan anything for him. Because as he says he's not my father! Every time mother's day rolls around it makes me sad that he is like that. I have never forgotten it. I just try to focus on my kids and grandkids and enjoy all the time I spend with them. I love them all so. But i just have never gotten over what he said to me. But my kids and grandkids love me and always plan something for me. So I will never forget it but my love for my kids and grandkids will certainly surpass it!!

I totally feel for you. You feel like your needs and requests are not being met and like you are carrying more than your share of the work load. There are some wonderful communication classes for couples that help them easily resolve their issues before they turn into resentment and frustration and erode away the relationship. Even if some erosion has already taken place, it is not too late to take a positive step towards the relationship of your dreams. There is a list of relationship education classes on the website www.smartmarriages.com. Hopefully, you will find one near you.

I realized that the majority of times that I felt let down, it was my fault for not making it crystal clear what my expectations of the day were. I assumed my husband would know that I would like him to get up with the kids and that I wanted flowers and that I wanted help around the house...etc. etc. Basically, I thought after 20 years together he should be able to read my mind and just know what I wanted. Then I found out, men are wired different and that they just don't get it unless layed out for them in black and white. So I came up with my wish list. Sometimes I even had to do the pre-planning so that the wish list would come true. For example, I wished he would do something nice for my 40th birthday, so 5 years in advance I recommended he start putting $10 a week aside in a special account for this purpose. That was something he could do and he did. When it came time for my birthday we had enough money to go on a nice trip. If I had said, honey, I wish you would take me on a nice trip for my 40th birthday, it would have never happened. Sometimes we not only need to make our expectations very clear but also supply the tools to accomplish the task. He felt so proud for making me so happy that year, that he started planning special things for my subsequent birthdays without my help. You have to realize guys love to make women happy! I'm not saying you do the following but I do know many women who do so I hope you are able to avoid the "negative ruts" many couples get into. Sometimes just phrasing your requests with, "You know it would make me so happy if..." can do wonders as opposed to, "You never do anything for me for mother's day, this year I just wish you would..." See the difference? The phrase that makes my man want to move mountains for me is, "I love it when you..." Take it from me, you have to appreciate your man for the small things they try to do for you even if it doesn't fulfill your every need. Show them your gratitude for what they have done even if it's not what you wanted. Which if you don't brings me to this warning to all ladies: if you are the type of woman that criticizes your man a lot and anything your man tries to do for you is not quite good enough, then guess what, they stop trying all together and if they stop trying to make you happy they can easily find someone else to make happy.

Just a word of advice from a woman who thought she had to do it all by herself in order to get things right and is now literally doing it all by myself.

my hubby is not really the take charge type and my son is not even 2 yet. so if i want something for mothers day i have to plan it myself. I havent been out to eat for breakfast in two yrs so thats what we are going to do, and then we are going out to see my mom and then my grandmother.

not really. it always gets frenzied like Christmas. I'm glad when it's done.