Does Anyone Have Advice on How to Explain Puberty to a Nine Year Old Boy?

My son is 13, but when he was 9 I talked to him about puberty and how his body will go through changes, and hormones,etc.. he isn't a boy that enjoys discussing body parts or medical stuff( he gags and gets grossed out), so I discuss this in stages with him. He will come to me about different things, and he calls it " the changes" because he hates the word puberty, lol. Anyways, it's important to keep an open dialogue and to allow him time to explore and discuss if he wants. I would also give him books to read on his own if he is embarrassed to talk about it.

His voice is cracking now, and he has facial hair- stuff he know understands is part of the process..

But it's important to discuss this now with him, so he has somewhat of an idea of what will start or what is normal.

There are lots of books at your local library. Check with the young adult reference librarian about it. She/he will show you the section. I suggest you preview the books and pick out a couple that go along with what you want him to know.

Be aware, he knows a lot more than you think. He has friends at school that know all about this and more. Ask him what he knows about this and go from there.

Nine is the perfect age to start explaining puberty. Go to your local library for some kids books for boys on puberty. Look at them to see which ones you like and check one out for him. Just have some casual chats about it with him. I don't do a big "sit down we are having a serious talk" with my son. I just chat about it at different times when it can come up naturally. Google it if you don't know what boys go through. You don't have to give him all the info at once.

Can you ask your husband or the father of your son?

There are lots of kids books on the subject. I would go to the library or a bookstore and give the book to him. After he reads it, ask him if he has further questions. There should be an open dialogue about this subject though. You don't want him getting incorrect info from friends.

I defer to my husband on that topic. When our son has had concerns about his private parts, I've always told him to ask his dad. It's not that I don't want to talk to him about it. I've answered all of his questions about sex. He hears things at school, and I am happy to answer. I want to make sure he has accurate information. But when it comes to puberty, I don't really know anything.

If you don't have a male figure in his life that could talk to him about this, maybe ask your pediatrician for a good book that can help you get started. You could even ask the librarian for a recommendation. I agree that it's important to give him accurate information. I think I could be very helpful if I had a daughter, but a son ... well, I don't really have any experience, so I don't believe I'd be the best person.

Good luck! Try not to worry too much. You'll figure something out.

I highly encourage you to look into parent-child classes. My local hospital system offers a class for kids aged 9-11 they call "Growing Up for Boys" (and a parallel one for girls). The parent attends with the child and they talked about everything related to puberty. It was NOT a sex education class. It was a class about how a boy's body changes into a man's body, what is normal and what to look out for (for example, did you know that similar to women doing breast exams, starting at puberty boys should do testicular exams? The class talked about how to do that.)

I found the class on the hospital website in the same place where they have information about birthing classes and newborn care classes.

ETA: I feel so strongly about this that I looked it up for you :) Trinity hospital system in Augusta has a class that sounds really similar to what we went to: http://www.trinityofaugusta.com/trinity-hospital-of-augus...

I agree to use books! This is not just one conversation, it's the start of what should be a long string of conversations over the years. Go to the library and talk to the children's librarian about books that they have or others that can be ordered via inter-library loan (you can pick and drop off at your local branch). Try a few, and read them together but also leave them in his room so he can read on his own. Usually you can keep them for 3 weeks, with an on line renewal. That ought to be plenty of time for 1 title.

You might consider buying one that you think will stand up over time. But every few months, you'll need to "upgrade" to new topics based on his changing body and changing maturity.

Be sure he eventually learns something about girls' bodies/changes too, and that you discuss sex, "no means no" and other things you wish parents had taught the boys in your life when you were growing up, including high school and college and your 20s.

It's not a one time talk. It's an ongoing communication that should have started years ago which is just basics of the human body and changes that take place.

If you can't talk to him, please find a male confidant he can talk to... uncle, grandfather, big brothers big sisters program, etc.

He needs to know that he's normal and going through normal changes.

I got my boys the book "Its Perfectly Normal" and we read it out loud together, stopping whenever they had questions or needed more detail. When my older son got into 6th grade and had his first real sexual education classes I asked him what he learned and he said "that I go to school with a lot of really immature people", lol. By starting the conversations early and making sure everyone was comfortable with the topics we are hopefully laying the ground work for our kids to always feel comfortable talking to us, and so far it has worked.

Go to Amazon and find books that you think would be right for your child and your family values. There are many. I got some for age 5 and then there are more detailed ones for older kids. These books can help you find topics to discuss.

His pediatrician should have info at the office as well. The have several pamphlets for you and your son to read. Once you read, you can help answer questions he might have.