As if things couldn't get any worse (ok, I know they could be worse), our dog escaped from our yard yesterday morning and got hit by one of those trucks that is jacked up with big tires (guy didn't see him). That's not the issue, though. Unfortunately, his injuries were so severe, with a figure already being estimated at 1000.00-1500.00 just for yesterday's emergency visit plus surgery on top of that figure, that we elected to have him euthanized. We are already paying off a vet bill from early summer that was brought on by our other dog's leukemia treatments, etc, and he didn't make it either. Now, hopefully, all the animal lovers out there don't start passing judgement. I too, am a huge animal lover, which is why I am asking for help. After our other dog passed, we took some time to find just the right dog/s. We found one that was perfect, and about 2 days later acquired another one as a buddy. This 2nd one we got liked to dig (by the way, we live in the country on 3 acres with a 6' chain link fence). The people we got him from told us he dug and the owners previous to those owners kept him on an outside leash all the time because of his digging and he developed skin problems. Well, I thought, he will be happy here, we shouldn't have that problem, we have horses, another dog, kids to play with...etc. Plus the fence. Well just after about a week he started digging. He got out. The other one did not, but then started getting out to follow. We ultimately found them, or other people would find them and bring them home, or they would come back on their own. We blocked off all the escape routes along our fenceline. My husband bought a dog run for the one who dug. We kept them on the porch and brought them inside. We didn't let them outside by themselves anymore unless someone was with them or the digger was on the dogrun (which wasn't alot because I felt sorry for him). We played with them (catch, etc) but now worry not enough? The one who got hit was a Lab, which from what I've learned they do like to explore if they get the inkling. I saw it all happen because I was outside walking around with them. I had blocked a part of the fence at ground level that had come up from workers working on the side of the road. But there was one little gap that he found and he went under in a blink as I was about 30 feet from them. I was calling for him, "no!" and out they went, running down the road, where the truck was coming down. In my opinion the guy had time to stop but he didn't. He did stop and say he was sorry, etc. My dog amazingly limped back to my house and I let him in the gate and he went under the house. I was able to get him out, rushed him to the emergency room and there made the decision. Now my issue, is I think I am going mental, as all I can think of is how I failed him, etc. The vet and the techs were so nice in reassuring me that I did what I could and more than some people would have, etc. I miss him dreadfully (am surprised myself at how quickly I became attached), and just wish for a cleansing of my guilty feelings. Our other dog came right back after it happened, and he misses his friend a lot, that is obvious. Does anyone have any similar experiences (sorry if it hurts to bring them back) or any suggestions on how I can snap out of my funk? It's only been a day but I would like to feel better soon as I hate this "dwelling on what I should've / could've done" feeling. I am holding back tears as I type. I know this is long and thanks for reading. Please no negative comments, don't need them at this time, really.
Thanks for all the loving comments from so many of you. I cried reading them. You have definitely helped. Thank you for reading the question and giving me what I needed: share your experiences and help with the guilty feelings. There was one comment that was not needed and did not help. That person doesn't know that I actually DID say I was sorry (didn't add to the question as had lots of info and didn't seem relevant to what I was feeling) and she also didn't know what I was thankful for or not thankful for. I did give thanks that the person wasn't hurt, that it wasn't maybe a family who swerved. I did go over these things in my mind and with God. If people would just read the question and follow what is being asked they would be much more of a help; thankfully there are more of those people than the other kind.
You know it just takes time. I know this may sound a bit silly. But I have a special song I listen to after I lose a loved one. Makes me cry harder, but I think that cry gives me some relief. I listen to it after the death of my pets too. I am so sorry.
Least they stoped to say the were sorry.
I don't know how old I was, but I remember finding my beloved pup dead on the road ( we too lived out in the country, not fences though, and on a pretty busy gravel road) I was devistated, but no one had stoped to say they had hit him. Same day I was in the store in town and heard a lady talking about hitting a pup out in the country, she seemed just as upset as I. But I did walk over to her, ask her where, then told her it was my pup. She was really sorry for hitting him, he had just ran out after a chickan I guess, and she didn't see him in time.
As for putting them down, I know fair well, we would never been able to pay the bill to help him, and really, what would they have been like if you had. They would not be the same. Not as to you, but for themselves. We can't quite console them like we can other human beings.
I think it was for the best, he now longer had to feel the pain, or suffer. Its hard to do, because they are like family to you, but some timesyou just have to do what best for them. Hugs to you, and I hope you will feel better soon over this. It will be tough, but it will be okay.
I'm sending you cyber-hugs. So sorry this happened. It will get easier with time. When I was in college my dog at home escaped (he liked to do that) and got hit by a dump truck on the highway. My parents were so upset they couldn't tell me for two weeks! Dogs become part of our family. It will get easier with time and it's not your fault. And don't feel bad about having him euthanized. I'm sure his injuries were severe and he was suffering. My sister actually ran over her own dog a couple years ago. Talk about feeling guilty!! His injuries were severe, yet she couldn't bring herself to put him down. He suffered for one miserable week before he died. You did all the right things. Hang in there.
Hi. Sorry for your loss. We can't predict everything that will go wrong with kids or dogs. I had a similar situation, I was so paranoid about the dogs getting out that I only thought about the height of the fence, but the dogs ended up getting out underneath a chain link fence. they cruised the neighbrohood but were waiting for my when I got back. A car could have easily hit them while i was gone. The next day I fixed the fence so it would never happen again. I lived in the city, so I had nowhere near 3 acres, so it was a lot easier to fix the fence. My suggestion to you would be to put all of your energy into your dog that you have now, fix the fence, save money for vet bills etc., love him, and you will feel better in time. I have 3 dogs and when they pass will only be getting one dog to put my energy in one dog. And my one Lab is like yours, my dad left the gate open once and he ran out like a chicken without a head for 5 minutes, luckily one of the neighbors brought him back. My other two which are also labs would not do this, he is a crazy dog, really hyper stray that I rescued.
My family had a similar incident happen with one of our dogs a few years ago. My parents live out in the country, but no fence. They live down a gravel road with only 3 houses. The few neighbors are used to all the dogs chasing the cars. One morning our little terrier was chasing a neighbor as usual, but he slipped up and moved a different way & the neighbor didn't see him. The back tire went over his lower half. He managed to hop right up and run to the house. My mom actually heard him yelp & went to help him. Took him to the vet to discover his pelvis was basically crushed. They could have done an expensive surgery to fix him, BUT he would not have been able to run & play as he did before. He was still a pretty young pup, so Mom just couldn't see him being miserable for the rest of his life! Nor could they really afford the surgery either. So, we had him euthanized. Yes, it was hard, but we did what we thought was best for him.
*hugs* It will take some time to heal, but it will get better and you will be ok!! We've had to put down a couple other dogs since then just because they were very old and had a lot of health issues. It is always hard.
I am so sorry for your loss. This was a total accident.
I know we have savings, but even I would have to stop and consider very hard about being able to pay that much of a vet bill, Especially after already owing on a Leukemia treatment for another pet.
We had a beloved cat that had a tumor. Our daughter was just born,.My husband authorized surgery, I warned him if they had to remover her entire leg, not to do it,, The cat was very vain and there is no way she would want to live that way. Sure enough he authorized it, they ended up removing her leg, cat survived, but died a day later.. $800. bill.. We did not have the type of money, we now did not have a cat.
From then on we realized that we love our pets, but some heroic measures, were not fair to the animals, so we would have to really consider putting our family needs first in the future.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through! You seem like such an animal lover. This will take some time because these pets are part of your family. Please don't beat yourself up, accidents happen.
Take care!
I think it's normal to do the guilt trip. My beloved, beloved bird died back in Feb., and I did the "what if" guilt thing for weeks. (Outdoor aviary, not sure what happened, but she could have been in the indoor cage.)
I don't have any good advice for you, just know that you're not alone. Last night I woke up and mourned for my bird for a while, 6 months later.
Just grieve. Cry it out to help you let go. Let your children see that you are sad and that it is okay to cry about it. The guilt always happens. I lost my great uncle two months ago, and all I could think about was that I should have called more...all those times I MEANT to call and didn't. It is natural to feel that guilt and part of the grieving process. Give yourself some time to purge those feelings. It does get better.
Sweetheart, I am so sorry. It really sounds like you did everything you could. A determioned dog is a thing of wonders and they will find a way to do whatever it is they want, anyway they can. Please do not beat yourself up, sounds like you need to grieve right now and after that you need a little pampering yourself. It is still so recent you need a little time. If you find you are not feeling better in a day or two maybe go talk to someone or get out and hang out with a friend, try to occupy your time, but for right now, its okay to grieve. Again I am soo sorry for your loss and please do not beat yourself up, lots of ((HUGS)) nad love.
I am very sorry for your loss, there's no easy route you could have taken. I lost my beloved doggy when I was 16 who was also hit by a car. It's a devastating feeling and one that will take you time to heal from. I didn't have a choice whether or not to treat the dog, she died instantly but if I did have a choice I don't know what we would have been able to do. My mom was a single mom and I know she wouldn't have had $1,000's to save the dog, and many people do not!
Don't beat yourself up because of your financial situation, there was nothing you could have done. My mom recently had to put down her golden retreiver who she had from 6 weeks of age to 11 years. This dog was her baby, he was everything to her! One morning he woke up very sick and couldn't walk, there were no signs before this day that he was sick in any way. She quickly brought him to the vet who said he was very sick and she could "try" to save him which would be costly or she can have him euthanized, it was one of the hardest decisions she had to make but she had to have him euthanized, there was no way she could have afforded the treatment and the poor dog was suffering. She cried for weeks and felt so guilty, calling me every day and I just kept reassuring her she made the right decision and he's in a better place. She even kept his doggy bed next to hers for weeks and couldn't find herself to put away his dog bowls......so I know it was so hard for her to make that decision but she didn't have a choice. I sent her cards in the mail just letting her know I loved her and to hang in there, I know it helped but it still took her time to stop "thinking" of him every day!
So again, many people have been in your shoes, I'm sorry this had to happen, if anyone should have payed the bills then it should have been the guy driving the truck, but I know it can be very difficult getting a responsible party to pay for vet bills. Hang in there and be thankful he was put out of his suffering in a humane way. Take care and hope you feel better soon!
There is a pet loss support group run by a psychiatric nurse and some of the staff of the Tampa Bay Veterinary Emergency Services. Here's the info:
Pet Loss Grief Therapy Support Group
Free meetings
Place: Quality Inn 400 E. Bearss Ave Tampa, FL 33613
Meeting Dates for 2010
1/12 2/9 3/9 4/6 5/4 6/1 6/29
7/27 8/24 9/21 10/19 11/16 12/14
It's just off exit 53 on 275 between Nebraska and Florida. I've known the nurse for a few years now and really like her and I know most, if not all, the TBVES staff that participates. It might help.
If you need any more info you can call TBVES between 4pm and 8am at ###-###-####.
Our animal friends are as tough to lose as our human ones. I am so sorry for your loss! I think any time that money is involved we feel more guilt about what we could have or should have done. I hope that you will ease up on yourself and mourn the loss of your friend without the guilt. You did what you could! You loved him! You did not do something out of a dark place in your heart. I still have guilty feelings over euthanizing two of my pets (at different times), but I can now think on them without the lump in my chest welling up. It takes time, but you will heal.
..."ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
Kahlil Gibran
Oh Mamma, I am so very sorry about your dog (s), it's tougher on us I think than the kids. You have done all the right things. God Bless and try not to make yourself sick over it, this too shall pass. Thinking of you and your family....
My heart goes out to you.
As the owner of two confirmed diggers, the only thing that has every stopped them for even a short period of time was putting some of their own poop in their digging spots. But that is a temporary fix. We ended up cementing under the fence in the areas they were prone to digging, and fortunately they weren't able to dig big enough holes to get out after that.
You did everything you could to try to get around this behavior (since you can't really stop it)--anything a reasonable, sane, loving pet owner would do. Feel guilty after we loss one, especially in an accident is part of pet ownership, because we are their stewards, their caretakers. Please, though, give yourself a little break if you can. You gave them a good life with you, even if it was short. That is the most important thing.
I am not trying to be negative, just direct:
Invest some time into obedience training for the other dog. A dog should always come back when called, period. Saying "no" as a way to call them back shows that there isn't a command in place to get his attention and direct him back instantly.
Take out a pet health/accident insurance policy for your pets. They are fairly inexpensive and your pet deserves the quality of care when a need for it arises.
I would apologize to the guy in the truck. You are lucky that he did not get injured or die should he have chosen to swerve for your dog. I would be thankful that he is okay.
Lots of hugs. I know how you feel about the guilt because I have been in a similar situation myself. I had a much beloved dog which was attacked by my aunt's dog when I went to her house for the weekend. I felt so guilty. I had asked my aunt if it was okay to bring my two dogs and she reassured me her two would get along great with mine. Despite my reservations I took mine and she somehow persuaded me against my better judgment not to introduce all four dogs on neutral ground. I hadn't been in the house five minutes before her biggest had mine pinned to the ground, shaking her like a ragdoll. I had to beat her dog off mine, getting bit in the process myself and breaking my glasses. It took four hundred stitches to put my dog back together and several long weeks of healing (my dog’s ear and neck skin was dangling and her ear never did “sit” right afterwards). Over dinner that night a neighbor let it drop that my aunt’s dog liked to eat stray cats and the local small dogs. How nice. The whole episode was just awful and in the end I was so thankful my dog survived despite the vet’s grim prediction. It took me a long time to get over feeling so guilty about making a terrible series of decisions. We do the best we can and sometimes it just doesn’t feel like enough. It sounds to me like you had a series of circumstances turn against you and you did the best you could in spite of all of it. Give yourself and your family some time to heal. Then decide whether you need to find another companion. Good luck and don’t beat yourself.
