Eating Habit for a 3 Yr-old

give smaller portions and lots of choices. Im a firm believer of a good hot breakfast. cream of wheat, oatmeal. cherrios. fresh fruit, veggies and water. You can also use smoothies and homemade pizzas .

Hi S.,

I'm sure you know how important it is not to make a big issue out of eating because you don't want her to grow up with an eating disorder of some kind. Thus, be patient and just give her good choices to eat and let her eat the amount she wants. This phase should pass eventually.

V.

Hi S.,

I don't think it is a good habit for ANYONE to get into, to eat when they are not hungry. Eating when you aren't hungry is one of the biggest causes of obesity today. How about just not making her eat? When she gets hungry, she will want to eat. You don't say if she has a big problem with being underweight, but as long as she doesn't, there shouldn't be any reason to force her to eat. One thing kids usually know for sure, is when they are hungry! LOL!

What does she say when you ask her why she doesn't want to eat? (It's best to ask at a time other than mealtime, for a good answer) Does she just say she isn't hungry? Or is it because she doesn't like the options?

If she doesn't like what is being served, I'd ask for her input on the menu.

Also, if she partipates in meal preparation, she is more likely to eat it. I began teaching my daughter to cook when she was 2. In fact, we have a great photo of her at about 18 months, standing on a chair, in a diaper, kneading the bread - with flour ALL OVER! But she was happy to eat that bread she participated in making!

I often go through a couple of days where I don't want to eat much, and then I cycle into eating more. I think its the same for kids. I never forced my eight kids to eat anything. If we had something new for dinner, they didn't get dessert unless they at least tried it. and if they didnt like what was being served, I usually had an option available that they could fix themselves, as long as they cleaned up. (This was for older kids, of course) But I found that forcing kids to do anything usually doesn't work well for the kids or the parents.

I know your pain. I have found that my 3-year-old eats better when she has some control over what she eats and/or she's having fun. To address the control issue, I try to give her a couple healthy choices to choose from, and when that's not an option, I'll let her pour her own drink (from a larger cup into her cup), cut her own veggies with a plastic knife or pass out napkins or silverware. For fun, sometimes she pretends she's a kitty (or any other animal of choice) and she's eating kitty/animal food. Sometimes each person at the table takes turns pretending to eat like an animal of their choice. I'd say something like, "This is how a lion eats. Roar! [take a bite]. Your turn!"

When all else fails, I don't push her to eat. She won't starve and she'll eat when she's hungry.

Hi my daughter is also 3 1/2 and as far what the doctor told me I do not push her to eat. at least she has a few bites of everything. I like to give her strong flavor to teach her how it tastes she refuse but it is ok. most important we eat together and sometimes she likes what i eat from my plate.
Now maybe i play and she enjoy doing that 3 because she is three years old is the rule. so i serve fruit in shapes ofcourse only 3 or i make smiling faces with the plate and veggies so she loves to eat their ears or nose and we laugh. as well i restrict to not snacks only water until lunch or dinner. Then yogurt instead of ice cream and then strawberries and chocolate again only 3 is the rule.
we eat peach until we find the seed or i put a lot expectative to find what it is inside of sweat peas or avocado.
i make her smell all fruit and veggies and we laugh when we donot like it onion for example. if i am in a hurry just take a granola bar and milk and run. or lunch peanut butter sandwich and apple.
i hope you take this as an stage that you make the best or the worst. We learn to laugh and go on, enjoy her age is precious.

First, check out some of the recipes and feeding tips on weelicious.com
Second, take a deep breath. Feeding little ones can be taxing and a test in patience. Try eating with her, tell her about the food and how it will make her body and brain strong. Ask her what she likes to eat and try to give her healthful options along those lines.
Kids are going to run around b/c they want to play, but she will eat when she's hungry.
Good luck!

Stop battling or you risk developing either a power struggle or future eating disorders. Do not train your child to eat when she is not hungry. She is three. This is a very common phase that kids go through. One of the biggest mistakes that parents make is to turn everything into a battle just because they are the parents and "will be obeyed", rather than using parental wisdom and choosing their battles. Home life should not be a struggle or a battleground. Or a dental office. :0) She will not starve. She will not become a bad person, or an unstructured child. She will join the family at the table when she is 4 or 5. Hang in there! She will not be three forever. When she is 15 you will long for these days!

Look into the book Deceptively Delicious....I saw it on Oprah the other day. Looked interesting if you are having a tough time getting kids to eat!

It sounds like it's more of a behavioral thing than a hunger thing but it's hard to tell by how short your question is. If she just eats a little and doesn't ask for anything else later, she's just a light eater and in that case you feed her as much as she will eat at meal times and leave it at that unless she starts dropping weight and then you take her to the doctor. Since you mentioned that she won't sit still for one second...I am thinking it's more of a behavior thing so I would suggest requiring her to sit at the table until the family is done eating a meal and enforcing time outs for not sitting at the table. I know for a fact that she is capable of sitting at the table because our son did it at daycare before he was 3 and once we started enforcing time outs for not sitting at the table at home he started doing it at home too...and he is a hard kid to keep seated for anything. I don't know if you are a first time mom but I am and I always thought "he's only <whatever age he was at the time> so what do you expect" but they don't learn to sit still and eat unless they are taught to do so and if you let them run around they think it's okay. It's not too much to ask of a 3 1/2 year old to sit down at the table and eat and it's not acceptable for them to run around at meal time. When they think its okay, you can't even take them out to a restaurant without struggling to keep them seated and everyone in the restaurant is looking at you like "Really? You allow your kid run around like that?" If you take my advice there will be a struggle in the beginning but you will be amazed with how quickly she learns to just sit down and eat and play afterwards. Best wishes.

HI S.,
Great advice from the other person but just know you are not alone. My daughter is 4 1/2 and we're finally in a much better place. Be serious about no food in between meals if she won't eat. My biggest issue is when she doesn't try it, not if she doesn't like it. Very different. Please email me if you want some more suggestions. it will get better. Just be super consistent with every meal and sit as a family for dinner. She can't get up until everyone is done.
We've been through it for almost 2 years and finally got a handle on it.

This is very typical for 3yo's! It's the age where they are learning how much control they have over what and pushing for independence. Based on my experiences in a occupational feeding group (I've had huge feeding issues with my daughter who just turned 4), this is what I suggest.

Establish a strict schedule...breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Have a specific time for each eating period. Have her sit at the table only; no walking around with snacks/food. It's advantageous if you sit with her during these times as well. Give her the food you've chosen and set a timer. Ten to fifteen minutes is sufficient for a 3yo. They have trouble sitting still much longer than that. Allow her to eat what she can during that time period. If she doesn't eat, don't worry. Remove the food and do not give her anything more except water until the next meal period. Do not make it a battle. Children at this age eat what they need.

You might also check out the book "How to get your child to eat but not too much" by Ellen Satyr. It is an excellent book whose techniques have been adopted by occupational therapists, nutritionists, and other professionals who specialize in feeding issues of children. My lactation consultant recommended it to me when my daughter was 10 months old.

If you feel that there are other reasons your child is going through this, talk with your doctor. My experiences are that doctors tend to think this is age appropriate and aren't much concerned if developmental milestones and growth expectations are being met. And, in most cases they're right. However, you can demand a feeding evaluation if you have concerns that go beyond just stubborness. Good luck! It will get better and easier!

My daughter, who is 3 1/2 years old, is the same way, and has always been. I know that experts say not to force eating, children will eat when they are hungry, etc, but that doesn't work for us. If we don't enforce eating with our daughter, she just won't eat, hardly ever admits she is hungry,and the next thing you know, she is cranky, acts tired, and can get out of control. She has always been like this, so it isn't like my husband and I have created this monster; she finds eating boring and has said as much. If your child is like this, just keep to eating schedules, keep eating to a certain time period, and if she doesn't eat, then don't give her anything else until the next eating schedule. Good luck, this is a hard one, especially since nowadays people don't think it is ok to 'make' kids eat with all the issues we have with obesity and eating disorders.

Hi S., all kids go through this I don't want to eat stage. well almost all kids, the way I dealyt with it with my daughter and the way i deal with it with my dycare kids, is if you don't eat what is in from of you, you don't eat, if you have more than one child and the other kids eat all their food, then you give them desert or a treat and a lot of times the child who his rebelian against eating will eat. Also what I used to do with my daycare kids is everytime they finished all their food, I drew a happy face on the back of their hand. Also I would not allow, no cookies,no chips, no treats or junk food until they were consistant with eating all their food. Now one thing for me I didn't force kids to eat what i know they don't like, cause I don't eat foods I don't like, Ido make them try it if they don't like it then they don't have to eat it, but I don't give them something else. J.

create a routine around meal times at every meal!...a book before or patty cake. If you are religious, help her to clasp her hands and have a moment of reverence right before every meal and/or a short prayer blessing the food. I start this routine when my babies take their first bite of food and they only know what to expect now.Then do you have her in a high chair? this helps to make sure they sit but if not, you must have her sit in order to get food...I'm a mother of 4 and i've always taught from early on that meals are not playtime or a drive thru where they take a bite, go play, and come back,etc. Food is precious so we learn to enjoy every bite. Make sure you are not distracted and that it's just you, her, and the food. you might take some time having her get used to the routine but stick to it and she will come around. Also, for the first week or so, only feed meals and snacks seated. If she shows complete disinterest, try quite a few times then let her go but do not give her anything until the next snack or meal...and always have her sit. Children will not starve themselves...when she gets hungry, she will eventually submit to what you need her to do in order to get food. Remember she relies on you to create structure. she's not a bad girl but just feeling her way on what she can get away with. Discipline means to teach ("disciple") not to punish so create freedom for her within YOUR limits. Good luck.

eliminate all snacks and drinks (besides water) 2-3 hrs before dinner. Sometimes, at this age, they just don't eat. They consume more as they grow and then slow down for awhile.

Hi! I know how frustrating that can be! My 3 yr old doesn't want to sit through her meals either... She talks the whole time we are sitting there with her. And then says she's full when we are all done! I've tried making her sit there alone! But it was just to hard for me! =) Anyway, we try to have desert after dinner, in front of the TV (It was a compromise, so that I could get everyone together at the table!) anyway, I let her NOT eat her food, then just didn't give her desert. She was so upset... My DH wanted to give in, the only thing that kept us strong was knowing that she hadn't gotten enough nutrients from dinner, and that wasn't cool to let her eat 'snacks'! She'd eat watermelon, strawberries and all kinds of junk food if I let her. Now I even keep the fruits for AFTER dinner! And if she doesn't finish her dinner, oh well. I refuse to beg and cajole her into eating! It's for her own good and thats that! Good luck!

Do you do dessert at dinnertime? We use dessert to get at least some of my daughter's dinner in her. If she doesn't eat... she doesn't get dessert. I am not saying that you should have her clear her plate each time (I don't believe in forcing kids to eat EVERYTHING), but I do want my girls to eat some of each thing I offer (otherwise they are hungry an hour later). We have found by adding a small healthy dessert after dinner inspires my girls to eat their dinner!