Excited to Have New Baby but Sad to Be Away from Toddler

You are lucky to have someone to help. Here's my thoughts - don't try to micromanage your husband so much. Let him come with you to the hospital when he wants to come. This is as parents, YOUR time with the new baby. Your toddler had this when she was born - now it's the baby's time with his parents.

I know you are thinking about missing your toddler, but you need to be thinking about the baby now and welcoming him into your lives. This is an emotional time for your hubby too. So let him make the decisions about what is done at home once you are at the hospital. You need to trust him to handle things.

Good luck and congrats on the baby!
Dawn

Why are you being induced?

I'm not sure what you mean by "dh doesn't have a drivers license, so she can't even come to visit"... What does having a driver's license matter?

I agree with Megan M. regarding having your toddler at the birth. When I found out I was pregnant with #2, we immediately and whole-heartedly included our son (then 28mo) in every aspect of the pregnancy. We looked at pictures on the web every day of what the baby looked like, he went to all my appointments and was here when the midwives visited (I had 2 home births with an OB as back-up), and loved going to the ultrasounds with us. He was so excited when he found out it was a girl, and 2 years later, he STILL calls her by his in-utero nickname for her: Baby Sister.

We even did a sibling preparation class that prepared him for how labor might go, the sounds I might make, what he could do to help me through, what his sister would look like when she came out, etc. I feel all this was SUPER beneficial!

Because she was born at home, we were able to make ALL the decisions about who was there and when to bring him in. She was born at 7:03am, so it worked out better that he wasn't awake for most of the labor, but he was able to come in about 30 seconds after she was born. I'm SO GLAD I made this decision, and just because you're having a hospital birth doesn't mean your daughter can't be there with you.

I still affirm that we made the right decision based on our family, and I firmly believe that involving him as we did allowed him to adjust easily. He absolutely LOVES his little sister, and I hope it's partly because we included him and made him feel special and important.

I had my kids with me at the time of my births. It was nice because I didn't have the issues of them telling me to take baby back to hospital where I got him, because they saw the birth. (this is something I did to my parents with my little sisters... I was not allowed to see anything but mom was also csectioned...) My daughter was 4 at the time and thought it was the coolest thing ever!

Of course you know your child best and if you are uncomfortable with her being there she will feel it and feel bad about it.

1) Your Husband wants to be with you. So let him. The induction takes a long time. So what. He knows that if you tell him. LET him go and be with you if he wants. That is what he wants to do. You are his wife and this is his baby and he wants to be there. You are lucky.

2) Your Toddler will be fine. SIL is going to be with her. I had a c-section with my 2nd child and my 3 year old was home with my Husband for 3 days. Because I was in the hospital for 3 days. It was fine. My daughter was fine. I was fine. It is only temporary. And my Husband would bring my daughter to visit me everyday. It was perfectly fine.
I am a SAHM too.

You said your "DH" does not have a drivers license... so "she can't even come to visit after the baby is born." So, who do you mean? Your Husband or your SIL or your Toddler????
Why can't your SIL.... DRIVE them both to the Hospital to visit you????

Your Toddler will NOT be "traumatized." You are not going to be gone long. You simply explain to her... AHEAD of time, with Daddy, that Mommy is going to the hospital and the Doctor is going to help you and you are fine.
Your Toddler will survive just fine while you are away.
My Daughter was fine. And we are super close. She was FINE while I was at the hospital for 3 days, after I had my 2nd child.

My kids are spaced the same as yours. Our baby sitting help was late the day that my 2nd was born, so we took the oldest to the hospital with us. She played with a bag of toys, colored, played with the curtain, etc... until about 20 min before the baby was born. This was not ideal, but we made it. My oldest enjoyed coming to visit at the hospital a lot after the baby was born, and did fine being away from me. Her Grandma was staying with her and did lots of special things (including letting her help make muffins for Mommy and the baby). My husband stayed with me at the hospital both nights, but went back for the evening to tuck oldest in bed and read story. However she would have been FINE even if he had not been able to do that.

Have your husband be there with you, your oldest will be fine. I know this seems like it will be really hard on her, but it will probably be hardest for you. However, you'll be so busy having a baby that you won't stress about it too much anyway. Your husband needs to be involved with the birth!!!! You need him there, and he needs to experience the whole process and get to bond with his son. This is really important! Don't sacrifice his experience on worries about your daughter!

Best wishes!

Your toddler will be fine with SIL. Another option you may not have considered is going home from the hospital the same day? My 1st was brought to the hospital shortly after her sister's birth and we all went home that evening. Some places will give you grief about it, but they can't keep you and your baby if you are ready to go home like I was.

Your toddler will be fine. I had my second when my first was 16 1/2 months. She was happy when we (my husband, myself, baby) got home. My MIL stayed with her at our house. My MIL came when I was in labor and stayed until we got home. My dh drove me to the hospital and stayed the whole time. No traumatizing happened. :)

Is there a reason you don't want your toddler there with you while you deliver? We just had our little man 4 weeks ago and my 2 1/2 year old was there the whole time, I was induced as well and once they actually broke my water and started the pitocin it only took like 3-4 hours.. my daughter did amazing and I credit her being there with how awesome she is to her little brother.. There was no mystery about where he came from or how he came into the world and she was so excited to see him and be there when we got to see him for the first time. She wasn't scared and I was in a LOT of pain (epidural failed) I can tell you that my parents did what you are talking about doing, sending me away for the birth and it was really hard for me to adjust, not only did I feel like the baby took away my parents it seriously took me until my brother was 17 for us to get along and I blame that on how my parents handled him coming into the world... If I were you I'd want her there, especially since you say you two are so close.. I can't imagine my awesome little girl not being there for that moment, she even helped dad cut the cord :) and now she's the best big sister ever, we've seriously not had ONE instance of her acting out or jealous!

CONGRATS!! Everything will be fine! It was a breeze being in labor with my 2nd, knowing my 1st would come to visit once she woke up :)

After I had my 3rd, due to H1N1 flu running rampant, and I did NOT know this ahead of time, but the girls were allowed to come visit the 4 long days I was in the hospital. THAT broke my heart, especially since our friends and family got to meet their little brother before they did :(

BUT, guess what, they were none the wiser, and didn't even know what they were missing. It's all fine!! The 3 kids had loads of bonding time once we got home :)

Take one of your daughter's shirts or stuffed animals that smell like her with you to the hospital, and talk to her on the phone when she can't be there. You'll be so exhausted, the time will fly, and you'll all be back together before you know it!

Good luck tomorrow!! :)

You should not feel guilty.You are leaving her with someone who loves her and will take good care of her.And You need to allow yourself to enjoy having someone to take care of you while your in the hospital recovering from giving birth.This is a good thing for you and her!The only thing I would change is asking a family member to swing by and pick them up so that she can come for a SHORT visit.

Im in the same boat as you and I totally feel your pain. Granted I dont have a scheduled induction as Im not due for another 7 weeks but I have a 2 yr old that like you I have never been away from for more than a few hours and I am so upset about leaving her when I go to have the baby. We also live about 5 mins (if that) from the hospital but still. I just keep trying to remind myself that she will be in very loving and capable hands and when she is older she will never remember this. Try to not this ruin your welcoming of your new little one and I wish you all the best
Good Luck and Congrats on the baby