We are T.T.C. our second and I had an early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy a little over a week ago. I'm feeling more or less o.k. with losing the pregnancy (we had just started trying), but I'm really frustrated with how my O.B. handled it.
I called my O.B. after getting a dark positive on a pregnancy test in addition to having some heavy spotting. I debated about calling the office, as I suspected a chemical pregnancy, but I was perplexed by the fact that this whole occurance was 13 days after the START of my last period. (wierd, yeah?) In any case, I asked to speak with a nurse when I called and instead spoke with the receptionist who told me several times that she didn't understand why I would take a pregnancy test halfway through my cycle but that she would relay the message to the doctor.
To make a long story short, the doctor ordered three blood tests (done at an out of office lab) to check my H.C.G. levels. My levels have been slowly going down, but I am still spotting 12 days later. My frustration is that, over the course of this week and a half I haven't been able to talk to the doctor or even the nurse. No one has wanted to see me....no one has really told me much of anything except that it was probably a chemical pregnancy and that I can't try to concieve again until my H.C.G. levels are below five. I have asked several times if the doctor or nurse could call me back and have basically been told that they don't need to do that.
Am I expecting way too much? I have heard that this isn't an uncommon experience, but come on, I have been bleeding for 14 days. Can't they at least have the nurse call me back to answer my questions? Everything that I have learned about chemical pregnancies I have researched on my own and the descriptions don;'t seem to fit very well to what is happening. I guess I am wondering if anyone else has felt brushed aside during a similar experience.
So....I did end up switching doctors. I was never able to talk to a nurse. They finally allowed me to make an appointment with the doctor, but it was three weeks out from that date and a month and a half after the initial chemical pregnancy. I hate to switch because I liked the O.B., but I really don't think I could stay with that office staff.
You aren't expecting too much. This is why I use compassionate midwives instead of busy OBs. The midwife model of care would see a midwife sit down with you for a long talk about what happened, how you're feeling, what to expect next month if you try again right away, etc...
Find a midwife. You'll be much happier and feel much more respected:)
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ok this may be dumb, but why not just make an appointment? I had two losses and had to change OB's to get anything accomplished, but Doctor's are not paid to call you back, they are however paid to see you, they can't deny you an appointment. While my first thought would be find a new doc, make an appointment, meet and go over your history and what is going on and go from there, you do have the option of simply staying with your current provider and waiting to get in to see him and getting your questions answered.
I had a similar experience and was cared for by my nurse-midwife- she called me at night from home to check on me. I'm biased (I am a nurse-midwife too!) but I would definitely find a new care provider and consider a nurse-midwife. Even if your doctor was not concerned for you medically they should have taken the basic courtesy of checking on your emotional well-being and reassure you.
This is why I had my last child at home with an excellent midwife. She answered my questions and was with me for a full 18 hours during my (44 hour) labor. She made me feel respected, strong and smart.
I don't feel respected by doctors. So I avoid them. I made the choice three years ago to not go to med. school because of my resentment toward our medical system, after having spent 2 years working on my second degree in order to get into med school and become an OB. I was all done with my premed stuff and ready to apply. Then I got preganant and realized that I could not give birth again anywhere near any OB I had ever met. That's when I realized I just don't trust doctors because of the way they treat us like we're stupid and don't have a moment to answer simple questions and educate us about this remarkable thing WE are doing.
I understand your frustration. I reccommend checking out certified midwives in your area.
I'm going to keep this short instead of telling you how I really feel,LOL!!! NO - you are not expecting too much and I would look for a new doctor before TTC again. Don't forget to let the current doc know why you've switched. It's not a "common experience" for you and should be addressed accordingly.
Wishing you lots of luck :)
If you don't receive the communication you deserve as a patient (person), you should switch.
I'm sorry for your loss. I pray for success soon for you!
Your doctor works for you and if you don't like the service he is providing, find a new OB. I had a similar situation where I had three miscarrages and I guess the Dr was tired of dealing with me and my infertility and told me the last visit that I must have been misreading the pregnancy tests the whole time. WHAT!?! Blood work proved I was pregnant all three times AND I used the digital pregnancy tests! Maybe he got me mixed up with another patient (I can't even imagine another reason for such ignorance) but I got my medical records and high tailed it out a there! I actually found my new OB through this website with a post seeking recommendations for a local OB. Best choice ever, my Dr is the best!
Anyway, I suggest you find another Dr. because they are supposed to give you the answers not some smart a** receptionist!
Good luck to you and keep your hopes up...
Yes. My first loss was similar, at least with the way the doctors office handled it. The woman who was taking my blood to check the HCG level actually said. "chaulk it up to experience. YOu can get pregnant again"
If I were you I would call back and simply say, "I would like to leave a message for the nurse to call me back" When the secretary asks what for, you tell her that it is personal and that you do not wish to discuss it with anyone except for the nurse.
If that doesn't work call and make an appointment to see the doctor. I am not an advocate of telling lies, but when they ask what for tell themyou are having extreme pelvic pain and you need to be seen. When you see him tell him that your experience in his office is horrible.
I actually changed doctors because of how his staff handled things.
What you went through is common and unfortunately alot of doctors dont want to even see woman until they are over 6 weeks pregnant. But, the ignorance in the way you were treated is unexceptable!
I would get a new doc, personally.
Not only did my nurse call me at home frequently, but my OB did as well. I was also told to come in without an appointment at any time if something seemed off, or if I had a show'n'tell q. The office left 15 minutes free every hour for "drop by" appointments.
Sweetie you are not expecting too much to ask for a phone call from the doctor or nurse. The receptionist is in no way qualified to answer any of your questions. As a nurse in a GYN office I can tell you that you should be able to speak with a nurse as you please. You may be sent to a voicemail and told that your call will be answered within 24 hours. In our office, if one of us are not available to talk at the time we usually call back within 1 to 2 hrs depending on our schedule. I would schedule an appointment to see the doctor and then you will have that 15-30 minutes to get all of your questions answered and hopefully feel a little better after talking with them. I wish you all the best!
I agree with the other posts, I would switch doctors. If you choose to stay or are unable to leave as I was (there is only one OB office in our town and I wanted to deliver at the local hospital), please make sure you are a strong advocate for yourself and your baby. Demand help and answers to your questions. I kept asking and they brushed me off. That ended up in a premature delivery for me. Later when I talked to the midwife she said that next time I should push harder to make them do as I wish. Unfortunately, she was right. You have the right to get answers and to talk with a nurse. Please continue asking and pushing to have someone get back to you, not the receptionist.
I think it is time to look for a new ob practice. If you have asked to speak to a nurse or dr and they will not let you then they are too busy you properly care for all of you. Physically and mentally. the least they could do is pick up the phone and reassure you.
First I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope that everything works out for you in the future. Second please find another OB that will treat you with the respect you deserve as a human being and as a patient. You have the right to speak to your doctor about any medical concern you have!!
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I have and I found a different doctor. In the end I have a doctor who is very good at delivering babies and I have a doctor who is very good at diagnosing problems with my hormones and making sure the pregnancy continues normally. I wished I had access to one that could do both, but it just didn't work that way. I would recommend trying to find someone who is trained in Naprotechnology. Using Naprotechnology changes in your hormones can be tracked to see if there is a problem. To find a doctor near you who is trained in Naprotechnology check out this sight:
http://www.naprotechnology.com/
