Hello Moms,
My question was inspired by the topic of the night-weaning of an 18 month old. My DD is 20 month and I am also tired of nursing at night. About a month and a half ago my husband decided that it is time for Dr. Ferber to step in. My DD cried for 3 nights and then was fine and slept through the night for about a month. But then she got sick with strep and was very sick for 4 days with high fever. Naturally, we went back to nursing at night. She is much better now and I was ready to go back to the full night sleep. But DD is protesting again and with a double strength. We are crying her out for about a week now but she still wakes up at night and demands to nurse. So, how do I handle that? What did I do wrong? Should I have not nursed her at night when she was sick? She is very much sleep deprived and unhappy now and I am afraid that she would get sick again pretty soon and we would have to start all over...
Jen.
While she's sick, no crying it out
But now that she's better, it's ok.
She just has mixed messages right now and thinks she'll get her way if she sticks with it long enough.
You are starting all over.
It'll be tough, but you'll get through it.
I did not do Ferberizing with my kids but no matter what methods I used, all bets were off when they were sick. Yes, it's harder to get them back on a schedule, but there is nothing like extra cuddling/nursing/hugging/etc while a child is sick to make them (and you) feel better. I think it's worth the extra effort you have to give back once she is sick because nothing breaks my heart like a sick child who is then crying/upset because they want their parents/need extra attention/cuddling/nurturing.
My suggestion is to keep Ferberizing her...but I would do whatever is needed when she is sick. If you don't want to nurse her at all, offer her a sippie cup or bottle and see if that works.
Maybe it's the comfort of you being there more than actually nursing. Leave a shirt of yours in with her, and see that's what she really wants.
I know it's not the same thing, but I co-slept with my daughter, and when she was 5 months old and it was time to transition her to the crib, I left my shirt in with her and gradually lessened the frequency of the shirt, and she did beautifully. Maybe the same thing will work for you?
we did the same thing and it was a slight set back every time he got sick. But we got through it and now he goes to bed like a champ!
Stick to it and good luck!
I would offer her a cup with water in it.
You definitely should have soothed her when she was sick. You can't just let a sick child cry it out b/c a. thats just cruel! and b. you won't know if something is really wrong like a high fever or what not. Sadly, you just have to resume (or start over) your sleep training after an illness. Good luck,
Honestly... you shouldn't have nursed her when she was sick b/c you now have to "break" two behavioral patterns again instead of one. We had to "referberize" my son after a bout with the flu and it was tougher the second time around b/c he was older and had more stamina (10 months vs. 4 months). For my son, it wasn't about the nursing so much as sleeping with me... when he was so sick and up all night my husband and I took turns sleeping with him on the guest bed which he loved.
Stick with it, don't cave in and keep the method consistent. There is no nutritional need for a toddler to nurse in the middle of the night. She's looking to be soothed back to sleep, which is something she needs to be able to do herself!
She's older now and "gets it"... if I cry they will come to me (by "they" I mean you and your nursing). It will take longer to get back on track, but you won't have to do this every time she gets sick. Just the first time... once she learns to calm herself, you'll be fine and sleeping once again!
Stick with it! We always had to redo when they were getting over being sick. Make sure she doesn't have an ear infection though - that may be why she's still waking. My third doesn't get fevers with ear infections, so the only way I get suspicious is if he starts waking at night or won't sleep well. Don't fret about nursing at night; I do whatever it takes to make a sick one feel better.
