First Birthday Party with School friends.....open Gifts or Not at the Party?

Updated on April 03, 2007
K.G. asks from Carnation, WA
9 answers

My son is turning 6 in May and we have a party planned at a bounce toy place mostly because our house is too small to accomodate everyone but should be a blast too. This will be his first birthday party that will include friends from school. There will be 5 invited.

Last year we attended a birthday party for a neighbor boy at which they didn't open gifts and then sent a nice thank you later. I think it was the first time we had been to a party where they did this. I understand the rationale but I was looking forward to seeing his new fun stuff.

I am torn between being sensitive to my son's classmates that might not bring gifts, or dealing with the whole comparing thing and the fun and excitement of opening the gifts. I know I like to see what other gifts people get at gift-giving events but I am not worried about what I like.

What is the usual protocol these days? What do you think are the pros and cons of each?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

We did open the gifts and it was very "normal". I don't think any kid his age (6) would notice if someone didn't bring one or really compare gifts.... There would have been something missing I think if we didn't open them. They were all really excited about it.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.W.

answers from Seattle on

I have to say I've never been to or heard of a birthday party where they didn't open the gifts. As a kid I think that was half the fun seeing person open my gift or seeing the other gifts they got. I would say do it, I don't see any reason why not to. Just kind of incorporate it into cake time so the kids aren't just sitting there watching the presents being opened, and put them all in a pile so the present is handed from each child as not to make it obvious like going around in a circle having each child hand yours their gift, then it won't be obvious if someone doesn't bring one.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.W.

answers from Anchorage on

We always open the gifts. HTH!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.V.

answers from Seattle on

Hi K.,

We just had a birthday party for my daughter and asked the kids to bring a gently used wrapped book for a book exchange instead of a gift for my daughter. The kids loved the book exchange and my daughter didn't end up with a big pile of toys that she would be tired of in a couple of months! My husband and I purchased a couple of larger gifts that she had been wanting and let her open those when she woke up on her birthday. We want our kids to learn that birthdays and other holidays are about the special moments with family and friends; not about getting gifts.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.R.

answers from Medford on

My daughter is 7 and we always open gifts at the party. It is part of the fun! =)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Portland on

YES! Open presents! What the heck, are we so PC now that we can't even open presents!? Did you open presents? Did it hurt you or any of your friends?... doubt it! Just my opinion...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.W.

answers from Medford on

opening presents is the most exciting part of the party for everyone we love to see people open the special gift that we picked out for them I actually think it is rude not too

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.P.

answers from Spokane on

I have always had my children open gifts with their friends there so they can thank them in person. It is such a good feeling to see how much someone likes what you have given them. Sending out thank you cards later is nice, but you don't really get to enjoy the child's fun during the opening. You can go either way, but maybe ask your son what he would like to do. I hope he has a wonderful birthday party, the ones at fun centers are so great. :-)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Seattle on

It was interesting for me to read your question because it absolutely never occurred to me that there would be parties where the child didn't open his gifts. To be honest, my first reaction is that for the children that do bring gifts it seems a bit rude not to give the gift-giver the joy of seeing their gift opened.

My children are always so excited to pick out the perfect gift for their friend! We do not have extra financially, so we have to make do sometimes, but they still always go with a gift that they feel good about. I tell them ahead of time that theirs probably won't be the biggest or the "best" but that they took time to give something nice and that will mean a lot to their friend.

Families have a choice whether or not to take a gift to a party (things can even be found at the dollar store), and sometimes it simply doesn't work out to take one. That said, it is up to the parents to take care of any issues. There was a time when a special gift had been purchased online for one of my son's friends and it did not arrive in time for the party. My son wasn't able to take a gift (maybe a hotwheel or something) and he knew that there was going to be gifts opened and was fine with that.

Bottom line - unless the invitation says "No Gifts" everyone attending expects there to be gift giving and opening at the party!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Portland on

My boys just celebrated thier birthdays (two of them!) on this past Sunday and let me tell you... it's not just the birthday kid that looks forward to them opening their presents. For one thing, they want to see if it's really liked... what the other kids think about the gift they brought, etc... It's like an acceptance thing. Also, depending on what the gifts are and where you are, if it's appropriate, it gives them more to play with... NEW toys to play with!
I would strongly advise against opening them later. I feel it would take a lot of fun out of the party. You also want your son to learn how to react politely to gifts, even if it's something he already has or maybe isn't too thrilled with.
If you're that worried about some kids not bringing gifts (which has never happened in my experience with 4 kids), maybe you could go to the dollar store and get a few little items, so if someone does show up without something, you can make it "from them".

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches