Frustrated!!! - Miamisburg,OH

Hi L.! I TOTALLY agree with you and wanted to share one of my experiences with you. I had a person, granted she was older, take off my babies socks when he was about a month old and tickle his feet WHILE he was sleeping!!! I was blown away. I told her I would prefer she not do that, and explained that he doesn't nap very well, and that I need him to stay asleep as long as possible! I just couldn't believe it!

L.,

It is rude and people should not do that. I did not want everyone touching my children when they were babies either. Decide which is more important-keeping your baby safe from possibly unclean hands or offending a stranger? No brainer. Your baby is more important! Be as polite as you can, then don't worry if the stranger gets offended. They didn't worry about offending your by touching your baby.

Also, I got very good at heading off what I saw was coming! You learn when it's coming. For example, don't make eye contact with the stranger. That way, you can take off or cover your baby with a blanket as if she's sleeping (or drape over stroller canopy). You just pretend like you didn't see them coming! Of if they sneak up on you, go ahead and cover the stroller with a thin, lightweight blanket you keep just for this purpose. Say, Oh excuse me, she's tired and needs to sleep or she'll be so cranky! It works! Good luck.

Go to www.mytinyhands.com and request a small rubber stop sign that attaches to the stroller or carseat, that says "Please wash your hands before touching mine". By seeing that hanging there, people generally get the idea.

I hear ya!! When it comes right down to it, I throw "polite" out the window. When someone approaches my child, I don't know them from anyone and if necessary I get rude. Common sense should tell them it isn't right to touch! and if I've gotta be the one to enlighten them, so be it. In any case I usually take a baby wipe and wipe her off if I think it's necessary.

I completely agree, I do not think it is correct for complete strangers to touch a touch baby they do not know. I have had 2 children, and Im preg with my 3rd. I have no problem with someone talking to my child, or telling me they are cute. I do the same. If I am in a store and a baby talks to me or says hello, I always acknowledge the child, but never have I touched a strangers child. When I had my first baby, it used to send me through the roof. As for the mom that said a young child touched her baby. I am not that extreme. Children are children and I would never be rude to a child no matter the age. And now I have a 6yr old that loves babies so I am constantly telling her not to touch someone elses baby, but my daughter does it just because she loves babies.

This situation would infuriate me, too, when my kids were infants. I got very good at being able to tell when someone was about to "swoop in" and touch my child.

When I saw someone start to decend on my baby, I would quickly step around the stroller and place myself between the stroller and the stranger, saying (in my sweetest voice), "She has quite a cold right now, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't touch her, but she loves it when people wave and smile to her." If they were offended, oh well, but most people were very understanding. Besides, who would have the nerve to try to defy me by stepping around me when I'm standing right in front of them?

Best of luck to you!

It helps if you keep your baby in a sling on your body. I used a baby wrap. People are less likely to reach into your sling and touch your baby.

Just tell them not to touch your child and then explain. I did it when my boys were little. So what what they think about you its your child......

My opinion is that people always gogle over babies, they always have, and probably always will. I know that it happened to all of us when we were babies, and we were never harmed by it. This is your baby though and if it makes you uncomfortable than don't let it happen even if you have to sound harsh then so be it. I am expecting my 3rd and really could care less that people want to look at the baby, but that's just me. I will tell you one thing that does bother me though. When my daughter now 5.5 yrs old was 8 months we were going to Florida in the airport there were some little old ladies taking pictures of her. I didn't realize it first that, that was what they were doing. I did ask them not to do that. You never know these days in age where those pictures will end up, but as far as them just stroking her hand or looking at her I have no problems with, but that's that's all personal choice. Don't feel bad for any feelings that you have remember that it's your baby, and it's up to you to keep them safe and healthy.

Oh that used to drive me INSANE. Ick! We had a guy come up and take a blanket off of DS while he was sleeping in his infant seat. The blanket had the whole seat covered to keep the light out of his eyes. He actually took it off and woke up DS by poking at him. People have NO sense.

But, once I discovered babywearing, it stopped. When I'm wearing DS in a sling or wrap, they'd have to get to close to me to touch. For some reason, strangers don't touch full grown stranger mamas. LOL!

Your post made me laugh - thank you! (not making fun of you at all, just an "I totally hear ya sister!")

I get so frustrated about this too! The worst place - the Babies R Us mother's room. Talk about a henhouse for the busybody moms who want to do nothing more than compare their baby to yours and them tell you how much more advanced theirs is.

If the person is annoying and invading our personal space, I keep my answers short and curt, like I'm the most boring person on the planet with no personality and keep moving. I am okay with the old grandmas in the grocery store taking a look though, since they pretty much know better than to touch. You could also tell them "oh we need to be careful - baby has a cold".

Here's my favorite - my baby is a big baby (75th percentile in weight...I could care LESS about percentiles, as long as he is following a normal curve). Our pediatrician has assured us that he is healthy and we are by no means overfeeding him. But, people feel the need to tell us all the time that we have a CHUNKY, CHUBBY, cute little FAT baby. Similar to your situation, would anyone go up to an adult and be like "oh my, you're so chunky and fat! you certainly don't miss a meal!"

Want to know what I tell them...."well, at least he will grow out of his baby fat". Yes, I know it is mean and petty but it really makes the person think twice before speaking again.

Thank You!!!! I was at the grocery store and my daughter (3months at the time) was screaming her head off and the casher decaided that it was her job to try and give my daughter her pacifier and calm her down while I unloaded my basket. I could have just screamed, because she then decided that for some reason I needed every bit of advice she could offer on why my baby was crying. I finally pulled the basket away from her and acted like I was getting ready for the bagged groceries!!!!

I think in that situation just pull your child away, who cares what that person thinks. I think any mom would agree with that!!!!!

I agree with a lot of the other responses. There is a difference between someone you trust and a complete stranger. However I once met a really nice couple who were eating out where I was working. They were trying to hold a bottle and feed the baby with one hand while eating. I was on break and offered to feed the baby. I'm pretty sure I went and washed my ands first though (I had little sibling at the time-I knew the no germs thing) But to this day I can't believe two sensible adults let a 17 year old restaurant worker feed their baby : )

this is a touchy subject for most parents i think and it's nothing more than a normal reaction that ppl have to babies. The best advice I have is to try to prevent it before it happens and step in when it does. it isn't all that hard to do this politely either. if baby is in a carrier it's easy jsut keep it close and anyone has to go trhough you to get to baby same with a shopping cart, if baby is in the seat you are between him and any other person. if baby is in a stroller be aware of the ppl you are approaching and whose approaching you, nod and smile and just keep waking, if you don't stop the stroller they can't procede to poke and grab at baby. good luck, and remember as annoying as it is they really don't mean any harm and it is a problem you can remedy nicely. take care.

I agree, it's not only inappropriate, but unhealthy. I remember a teenager attempting to do this when my daughter was an infant. She actually tried to put my daughter's binkie back in her mouth, then attempted to touch my daughter's feet. I immediately intervened on the binkie incident and quickly moved my cart (I was in a store) when she again attempted to touch my baby. Now, I am sure she meant well, and she was only about 13 or so, but her mom stood right there and did nothing. I just try to avoid incident at all costs. Like if I am in a store and someone shows an interest, I keep walking. Not rudley, but I act like I am in a hurry, give a smile, and keep on going. You could always tell someone point blank not to touch. It's your right and you cares if they think you are rude, afterall, you probably will never see them again.