Frustrated Mother

I yell and feel bad too, but I don't really do it in front of their friends. I want to sometimes, but I save it until they are gone, and by then I'm cooled down a bit. That way the friends won't want to stop coming over.

I think what you need to do is simply apologize tro your daugher and to her friend. Let them see that you are human, and that some times you are just having a bad day. Model the behavior that you would want them to do if the situation were reversed.
You might also talk with your daughter about how the two of you can work together to make life go more smoothly. Be upfront with her about the pressures you are under, and tell her that you understand that she still needs to be a little girl and do fun things. DIscuss setting up a schedule of when it would be best for both of you to do things like playdates etc. Let her understand WHY you are feeling so tired and tense.
Good luck to you

I'm gonna tell you this: Go give your kid a hug. I just lost my 5 year old newphew to a tragic accident and it has been very very hard to deal with.
I know, like any other mother, how very, very hard it is to deal with the kids sometimes, and you need to make sure that you're taking care of YOU, but never, ever take your kids for granted. They could be gone in a flash. I am thanking God for every breath that my children take now.

First of all you should treat her (and maybe her friend) to a little ice cream followed by an apology. It's as simple as telling her what you are going through. 12 year olds are underestimated a lot for what we think they won't understand. It sounds like you could use a break as well. If possible drop your daughter, and other children if you have more than one, off with the grandparents or close friends you trust for the weekend. Go out or stay in doing what you love most by yourself... if anything sleep :) When you get so frustrated like that, take 20 mins to yourself to calm down and collect your thoughts. My husband and I always feel like we never get enough rest. We say "Happy Birthday" before we know we're about to say something ugly to each other. Sounds so stupid, but it helps us break up the tension lol Just remember to ask for a hug when you need one too... We forget about the simple solutions in life :)

Its important for kids to see that sometimes grown ups make mistakes and are willing to apologize when they were. I'm sure she's probably already forgiven ya, but still, you could just tell her that your sorry you didn't handle the situation better.

Hang in there mama! And get some sleep LOL

Hello DS S-

Have you been feeling like this for a while? Are you short tempered with your daughter or others too?

I ask this because depression has many different symptoms, and one can be agression/ short tempered. It sounds like this is not typical for you.

If you have access to a doctor or health center (I'm assuming you're a student), you may consider talking to your doctor.

Best of luck.

R. Magby

I would apologize to your daughter and her friend. then when the friend is gone institute the rule we have had since my 28 yr old daughter was old enough to ask for things with friends over. if you ever ask me or dad for anything while a friend is standing next to your or on the phone with you the answer is an automatic no. and stick to that. nothing is worse than a kids big hopeful eyes staring at you while your kids looks up with the "I know you won't say no in front of my friend" look in hers lol

Hi - oh, don't feel bad. We've all been there - my daughter is 17 and I still yell at her. I would apologize to her and let her know that you will work on it, but it may not be the last time. Let her know that you get frustrated when she asks you things last minute. I do think things come up and like children, we too forget ..... so in all fairness, ensure her that she should never be afraid to ask you anything out of fear that you will yell, however to respect your time and to use her best judgment. Tell her certain things should be an exception, not a rule. I've learned the hard way....after my daughter stopped asking me for things. Thankfully we're close and she later confided in me that she didn't feel we were close - in all this, preserve your relationship with your little girl.

You're not a mean mother. If it makes you feel any better, I just got done yelling at my 5 and 7 year old because they were bickering with each other when they should be going to sleep. It's hard to be nice all the time, especially when you are tired and so much is expected of us.

Maybe tomorrow you can tell your daughter that you are sorry that you yelled at her in front of her friend but in the future she shouldn't invite a friend over to your house unless she is sure that her friend has a ride home already or, if you are expected to be the taxi service, clearing it with you first.

You're a good momma. Not a perfect momma, but those don't exist. And if anyone tries to tell you differently, they're liars.

Have a good night.

Hey girl I soooo know what u r goin threw. I am trying to quit smoking and I AM the biggest MOMZILLA and the BRIDE from HELL!!! And I snapped at my daughter and her friend the other day just because they were laughing to loud.. Of corse I apologized to them both but i felt so bad for them cuz I am never this way. I everyone knows that it has been ROUGH for me to quit.
What I have been doing to calm myself down is writing a jernial and taking LONG HOT baths at night. I sleep alot better, and wake up rested.

That happens to me with my kids (two sons-one age 20 with some disabilities, the other age 5). It seems once I get on a verbal roll, it's hard to stop even though I'm consciously telling myself to stop. What my issue is is letting things "build up" because I normally "take" alot. For instance, my older son has an eating disorder on top of other medical problems. The only place he'll eat is A&W, which is 20 miles from our home. He gets cheese on a hamburger bun, something he can get at the store or 5 minutes from here. The other day he asked, and of course, I responded. I was tired from work and didn't feel like it; but nonetheless I played into it, loaded the 5 year old into the car, and started driving up there (again) with my car that already has 175,000 miles on it. On the way I became angry because we were again revolving around his eating, doing something I didn't feel like doing for no reason, and I started lecturing him, etc., to the point where I turned around and told him if he wants to starve himself to go ahead. Of course, the 5 year old is sitting there taking it all in. I realized that I should not have, in the first place, given in. Yes, I fear for his life. But the doctors tell me he's an adult and I can't control what he does. I'm wondering if you're taking on things when you really aren't up for it, and then it catches up to you? I'm getting better at saying no, and I think in some strange way my son's eating disorder is teaching me this. Please try not to beat yourself up too bad - or if you're really on a roll you can throw a few swings my way because I know how you feel.

We all lose it sometimes. Don't beat yourself up. I recommend apologizing to your daughter and explaining to her how tired you are and that you need rest. Tell her it's not an excuse but it will help her understand that it wasn't anything she did.

Make sure you take more time for yourself and get the rest you need so that you can feel energized and happy. When you're rested, it's much easier to control yourself and give your children the loving attention that helps them flourish.

We've all yelled at our kids. Don't worry but do get some downtime for yourself!

Tell you12 year old that you are sorry you ambarasied he in front of her friend but there is a time when you need private time and she has to give it to you good luck A. raised 4 and now hve 7 garanchildren no hills

Hi D S S, Because you lost your cool with your daughter does not mean you are not a good mother. My husband and I on a few occassions have been woken up late at night5 to give someone a ride home, or now that they are older the keys so they can take someone home. I usually suggest they call their parents and if they can't come they stay the night. Apolligize to your daughter and talk to her about informing that someone may need a ride home, and to ask you if that is OK. I would also apoligize to your daughter's friend, you will feel better if you do. J.

We all have bad days, be easy on yourself. GOD bless!