Worried About My Reactions Today

It is never to late to apologize. Remember the calmer you are the better off they are. Keep the energy in the household positive. It sounds like you need to watch Supernanny.

M. - you are doing a great job I have no doubt. We live in a society that seems to demonize parents who at human. It is good for kids to see their parents are real. I would apologize in the morning for losing it, and explain why and then let it go. (And by the way, it's my experience they mostly have forgotten it in the morning, so apologizing really makes you the hero, because you brought it up and owned up for it. It's good role modeling for them) You aren't awful and feeling guilty about being a human is totally counter productive.

Dont feel bad we have all been there. Chances are they wont remember and kids are great , they dont hold grudges. Us mommies do have a breaking point. So just start fresh today and hopefully things will be better.Happy Valentines Day!!!!!

absolutely apologize. they need to know that mommy can lose it and still love them and realize she lost it and want to make it right. don't make a big deal out of it though. being a mom is amazing, but it definitely comes with lots of challenges. i don't know if you're a Christian or not, but if you are, there are 3 great books i love! 2 are by stormie omartian "the power of a praying parent" and "the power of a praying wife" (she has another called "the power of a praying woman" but i haven't read it yet) and then "lies women believe and the truth that sets them free" by nancy deloss. they praying ones help you focus and rely on God for ALL your needs. the last one discusses how society has changed how we view ourselves and our role in the family, our kids lives, the workplace, etc...and what the Bible says about it. again, very encouraging. good luck and God bless!

Dear M.,

What a really crappy day!! But you know what? You survived it and now it is time to start another day. Please do apologize to your son. It shows that you love and respect him as a person.

Your daughter is sick, is she on a bland diet (BRAT: bananas, rice, apples and toast)? That usually helps with the vomiting.

You are going to lose it mom on bad days like the one you just had. AND yes you are going to feel horrible as a parent, but it is fixable.

AND....YES! YES!!! YES!!!! It will always be your job to know where everything is!!! The great thing about this is....there is eventually a payoff time. You will get older and start to lose things. Ever looked for your sunglasses and they were still on top of your head? Misplaced your keys or wallet? Drives you nuts, but it will happen. Guess who will be there to assist you? Your children. So, relax and breathe!!

You are not alone...moms n dads all over the owrld lose their temper. But it is how we treat our children on a daily basis that truly affects their lives and shapes them into who they will be as adults.

Feel better now? I hope so. You've got a good soul M., always follow that mommy instinct of yours. If it tells you to apologize, then do it. If you feel very strongly that something is off about your son...follow that instinct. If your daughter is out of sorts, try to figure out what is wrong with her. So far mom...you are doing a great job in keeping it all together!!

Have a wonderful day and God Bless you and yours,

P.

I am pretty sure that we have all had those days. I know that there have been several times when I snap at my son who is 3 and then feel so guilty about it later. I do apologize that I was grouchy and he usually apologizes for being naughty (which usually makes me feel even more guilty). I just think that it is part of being a mom and they don't hold it against us, thank goodness! Don't be so hard on yourself. Being a mom is stressful and when you are sick and they are sick it just adds that much more stress. Just let them know you love them! That is all that we can do!

I would probably apologize in the morning to my family. Explain that it was a very stressful day that became overwhelming. Sometimes that happens. We are not machines, even so sometimes they break down too. I completely understand being overwhelmed some days. I have 3 kids and a husband. Unfortunately it does seem like it is the mom who is the glue that holds it all together most days. And yes we do seem to know where everything is as they expect. I think as mothers we take on so many additional responsibilties beyond our regular jobs. Working a tradtional job, being a wife, being a mom, etc., is a lot of hard work. It is very dificult for children to understand but if you explain, on their level, why it was and sometimes is a hard day for you they may understand. If you pretend nothing happened then you are ignoring your own needs. And you may never know if your family was hurt by your actions. Good luck and just take it one day at a time. There will surely be more days like this one ahead.

M.,

Guess what...totally normal. Whether any other mom will ever admit it to you- it is totally normal. What I do is tell my daughter, though your 18 month old may have no idea what you are "saying" she will know in the tone of your voice exactly what you mean. (Never underestimate a little one that age, they know way more than we could ever imagine!) So talk to her too. If you're still awake right now, I would go in to each's room and give them a kiss, a caress and whisper in their ear that Mommy loves them to pieces and to have sweet dreams. If you are already sleeping, when tomorrow arrives, talk to each of them, separately I am assuming and (what I do) is tell my daughter that I am very sorry that mommy ran out of patience yesterday when I got upset, remember? "Yes Mommy, I remember" Well, I tell her that I am very sorry if I wasn't being nice and that mommy is just like Uli (my daughter) and that mommy is also still learning and that I also have to take a time out and then say I am sorry when I misbehave, just like she does, and that I want her to know that I am very sorry and that I am not perfect and love her very much. I explain to her that she is my world, and she is why I wake up with a smile on my face every morning, as well as the reason that I wake up in the first place!!! I truly want my children to know that we are ALL human and that mommy and daddy are not god, we are not perfect, and we are not going to hide our humanity, which to me human= makes mistakes. This seems to work and she seems to understand at 3 years old exactly what I mean by the fact that I am still learning too (because that's what i say to her when she does something wrong and then says i'm sorry mommy, i say it's okay honey, i love you but you need to listen to mommy when i ask you to do xy or z and that it's okay because I know that she is still learning. So i apply the same rules to myself and apologize in that way. I never over compensate though through things that i wouldn't do for her on a normal day like giving her candy or anything to that effect. she's not allowed to have candy no matter what day it is, or what's occured in that day, unless of course it's halloween, or her birthday, but I will make a point of (not during our usual book time which is before naptime and before bedtime) saying, honey, why don't you go get a book you want to read and bring it to mommy. She is surprised and delighted and says really??? and I say yes, go grab one, and then I bundle her up in her blankie and I relax and exude my love for her and I read to her slowly, savoring the moment and making sure that she feels the extra care and time that we are spending together.

Just some quick advice, but I do want you to know that every mother out there has got to at one time or another mumbled under their breath, "why do I always have to remember where the 8000 things in our house are" to be honest i say that more times under my breath to my husband !!! He can't ever find anything that's staring him in the face and makes me stop what i am doing, put everything down and go and get it for him, when it's HIS personal things, or he asks me in a condesending way, "What did you do with my wallet???" when of course I haven't seen his wallet in weeks, and why would I have done anything with it!???

It's normal to run out of patience, we are MOTHERS!!! It's also our job though to provide constant and consistent unconditional love to our children who don't know any better. We were put on this earth to raise children because we are the ONLY ONES WHO COULD EVERY REMEMBER WHERE THOSE 8000 THINGS ARE!!! No one else has our skills, so think of it as your gift. Don't be hard on yourself, and just tell youself you are going to do better next time, heck, tell your kids that too, tell them you are going to do better next time you get really really frustrated, and try to.

You are normal, and any mother who denies losing their mind every now and then is just maintaining their facade of perfect mother and wife and there's no such thing. SO take it easy, and next time you see your day starting to take a turn for the worst, plop the kids infront of their favorite toy, or Little Bear, and take a long hot shower, or get one of those heating bags and make yourself a cup of tea and put the heat around your neck. You will feel pampered, (and yes, we all have to do it for ourselves because there "ain't" no one else who's goin to do it for us :) and it will then usually help you take your day gone awry in stride. Just don't beat yourself up about it and sleep tight. You must be a beautiful mother 99.9 percent of the time if you are so deeply affected by losing your patience today, so rest assured that your kids know you love them more than anything, and that today just wasn't your day!

Take care OF YOURSELF, and the rest will take care of itself! I promise :)

Best Regards,

S.

I responded in haste, actually. I wanted to post this response to someone else. I wanted to post this to the young lady who was having problems with her 13 year old. In response to THIS one. My apologies! My advice would be to explain to your five year old that mommy needs help today and to be on his best behavior. The shoe would have to stay lost until I had the energy to look for it.You are right in your thoughts, mommy because you cannot be everywhere at all times. Just remember your preventative measures with your 5 year old so that you can deal a little better with the toddler. Sometimes, little ones need prepping. Mommies get tired, and mommies get sick. best of luck to you sweetie!

I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain. I lost my temper today with my 17 mo. old. He just got over Rotavirus about two weeks ago and that was one of the worst experiences of my life. I hope your day gets better. Hang in there.

You know M., we all have our days. I agree with Stephanie. Just talk to them. Reassure them you love them. And apologize for yestardays incident. Hey it was hump day, you made it over. Now continue on.

When things start getting out of control. Just STOP! Take a deep (really deep on some days) breath. Drop everything and just focus on the children. Whatever you were doing or is pileing up on you, can be taken care of later. Once the kids and your emotions are under control, then it'll make the rest of your tasks go so much easier.

And as for hubby...dont feel bad, I think most of us have husbands that cant take the blame for losing their own stuff.

You know they never make mistakes...lol.

Just remember, in the end, it'll all turn out O.K.

So from one mom to another,

HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!

First don't be so hard on yourself. We all have those days! I can remember saying those exact words to every single person in my house. It doesn't hurt to apologize in the morning. "Mommy had a bad day yesterday, I am so sorry I was not nice to you. Let's have a great day today!" I think one of the most valuable lessons children can learn is that apologies are important and even mommy and daddy make mistakes, but forgiveness is a way of life.

You need several things sweetie.....
a. Female friends to reach out to at times
you are under stress.
b. Some very good natural multi-vitamins to
help you cope with stress.
c. Time out at least once a week to "be
yourself for a few hours" with no pressures.
It seems like the pressure never lets up, but honestly,
twenty years from now?......well, you will wonder where
those years with the babies went. Start a journal, even
if you only write one sentence each evening as you collapse from baby care. You have six years of their
little lives to set their personality onto positive paths. If we goof during those years, it causes problems later on. Stop and just breathe with a cup of coffee or
tea and watch them,.......and wonder what your life would be like if one of them was taken from you, then pick yourself up and keep on going with joy in your heart that you even "have" them for such a short time. They will be
gone from your life soon enough. They are a gift to be treasured for this short time.

Boy does that sound familiar. I have three: 20 yrs, 16 yrs. and 14 yrs. and there were days it was just overwhelming. Definitely apologize. We teach kids to apologize when they lash out and we need to do the same. I was in a pediatricians office once for three hours while all three of mine were burning up with a fever and vomiting. Turned out he was talking to a pharmaceutical rep and the office staff couldn't find our file. I remember veering from tearful to furious in a surge. Never went to him again, of course. There are going to be days, lots of days like that. It's the price of motherhood. When I look back what I remember is being exhausted a lot but also lots of cuddles and kisses. Every stage your child goes through will be a challenge because it's a new stage for you too. Hang in there. I don't know what relationship you have with your mother but those are the days you can call them and get the love and support YOU need. Hang in there. P.S. They are teenagers now and I am having a blast with them. It's all worth it.

Apologize. Sit down with both of them, and tell them, "mommy had a rough day, and is sorry for loosing her temper. I am sorry I yelled...whatever. Your daughter will not get it, but your 5 year old will. Ask him to "help mommy" and he will go into protecting mommy mode. Give them lost of hugs, and do something special with them, like cooking together, making smoothies, or playing in the back yard together. It is better to fess up to your bad behavior, saying sorry, just like we ask them to say they are sorry if they do something to hurt someone else.
Don't beat yourself up. This will not be the last time your head pops off. Talk with your husband. I told my husband that if he did not want a lunatic for a wife, I needed help between working, being a wife, caring for 3 children, housework, homeschooling, church duties...the list goes on. I told my husband, and we decided I needed a housekeeper. We worked the budget to find the money for someone to come in twice a month. It was about $60.00 each time. It was a god send. It was one less stress in my life. It helped out alot. Also, maybe send the kids to grandmas, or someone's house, and spend an evening in your bathroom for spa night. Soak in the tub, light some candles, read that book you have been wanting. Take some time for yourself when things get over the top, reset, and return to your family ready for the next challenge.

We all have those days, and yes, I think you should apologize, even if it is the day after the incident.
Dont beat yourself up over your reaction though. Being a mom is a job that is very high demand, and I think we all tend to lose it every once in a while. I feel the same frustration very often.

First and most of all YOU ARE NOT A TERRIBLE MOM!!! If you don't read another word of this know that you are really doing your best and that is all that God asks of us. The next thing that I want to say is that most of us, I am sure, have been there in one form or another. Your husband had to work late... some women have husbands that have to travel for business... some don't have them at all. Whatever it is, we have all had to weather some sort of storm. My husband moved to Texas two months before my two kids and I could because of finances. My daughter was only two months old when he left and I had a little boy who had just turned three. When just found out about a week or two before he left that she had reflux and then she ended up with colic about the time that he left. Trust me, we would have gone with him if we could but with how quick everything happened (he got a job offer on Wednesday and Sunday he was gone) it just wasn't possible. Talk about a mom who was very overwhelmed... a lot!! But thank the good Lord for a wonderful church family and women who just loved to rock babies. I had to get past my ow foollish pride and call people and ask for help. One of the best things that a women ever told me was that true friends want to help you out. Unfortuneatly, as much a people think women know everything, we really aren't mind readers and so we don't know you need anything unless you ask. Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and ask someone to keep you company, rock a baby or just give you a chance to get a shower. (I don't know if you have a hard time getting that done but you know what I mean.) One women was willing to let me go for a walk and walk with my screaming daugheter all over the house. I prais the Lord for the job that he provided for my husband but it definatly was very trying. Your husband comes home at night and let him know that for EVERYONE'S best interest, it would be best that ____________ (and you fill in the blank). I know that even now that I am here and I don't get out of the house much due to one car and not a lot of friends from just moving here, I have learned my limits and when I need to get away. Daddy is every bit as much a parent as you are and we all are guilty of thinking that we aren't supposed to ever need a break. (I am the QUEEN of that territory) but we are allowed one once in a while. As for the being the one who is supposed to know where everything is, every second of the day, well don't you know that is the definition of mom.... just kidding... but it's good to know that my family isn't the only ones who do it to me and I am not alone. I will be praying for you and just crying out like this means that everything will probably be okay since you don't want to act like that.

Bless your heart. I had a terrible day, too. Apologize because you'll feel better. It will teach your kids the power of reconciliation. Apologize to yourself while you're at it and know that all you can do is your best. Some days your best changes based on what you have to give. Apparently, yesterday you were only capable of vomit and meltdown. Your best will look different tomorrow. THEN let it go.

I have 3 kids within 4 years of each other and until the youngest was a year old my husband traveled extensively-he was gone more than he was home. We had days like this and it's all ok, they don't remember them at all (they're 9, 12 & 13 now) thank goodness! This is the day you just let everything go, mentally as well! Put a blanket on the floor, bowls around incase you don't make it to the bathroom, turn the tv on and all of you stay home and cuddle your way through it. The best lesson to the kids is how you behave after you lose your temper. They will do as they see and if they see and feel you surrounding them with hugs and reassurance after you've lost it, it will all turn out ok.

Hang in there, mom. You are a normal mom trying to do a superhuman task when you and your family are ill. Working and dealing with everyone being sick is too much for any one person. Don't worry about it, just start the next day off fresh with a sheepish smile and big hugs for everyone, dad included. Forgiveness is such a wonderful thing to teach, give and receive. Your kids and family will snap right back to normal as soon as the storm passes. And this too shall pass. I hope you are feeling better now. It happens to all of us sometime!

G.

Don't know much about your faith-but if you are a person of faith I would say the devil is messin' with you! We all have days like that and we all lose it at times. There is a children's book by Judith Viorst called "Alexander and the No Good, Very Bad, Horrible Day". You need this book and you need to sit down with the kiddos and read it to them. In the book poor Alexander has everything go wrong all day long-it's a really great story. Once you've read it to the kiddos, when you have a bad day you can tell them "Mommy is having an Alexander kind of day". And yes, you should apologize and make it a teachable moment. We are all human and we all can blow it, so tell your kiddos that, hug them and tell them you love them. When the next terrible day comes around (and it will) just hang on and realize you are teaching your children how to handle life and it will be okay.

hey! yes, my day sucked yesterday too! we have that stomach bug here and i'm at the end of my rope with the crankiness, and diapers and losing my patience. i think you need to apologize. it'll make you feel better and you are also being a good role model of what you should do when we "lose it", b/c we all do! good luck! hang in there, you'll get thru it!

Hi I have a 4 1/2 and 2 yr old, both boys. My hubby and I have been married for 5 yrs. Believe me, we all have these kind of days. Been there!! What I do is, when I get too overwhelmed, right then and there I make both of them sit down right where they where. Then I sit in the same room and just start crying. So they can see how upset and frustrated I am. That also teaches them love and compasion. In a few min. we are all calm and I apologize for yelling, always apologize because sometimes the little ones don't really understand why we are angry or frustrated. Then we give big hugs and kiss' and get a snack. Most of the time that works, but sometimes they just go back to running around, hitting each other, and other stuff. Just making them sit down and not getting up for a few min. helps soooo much. It lets you get ahold of yourself.

You will have much better days, then some that are not so good. You just have to make the best of it. Its hard but its part of raising children and you also grow more and more each day yourself. Hang in there. I have been in your shoes many times.

It happens to all of us at times--there is only so much stress of continual demands that anyone can live under. I have three daughters (15,12,and 9) and there were days when I felt like SuperMom and days when I felt like all I had done was over-react and gripe and nag (there still are). My advice is to forgive yourself--kids are much more resilient than we realize and also need to learn that mommies are people, too. Talk to your son about what happened yesterday but don't berate yourself about it in front of him--that will only confuse him as he loves you and has already forgiven you. Brainstorm ideas together on how to help Mommy keep track of things...make it a partnership and not a master/servant role.

It's okay. We've all been there. And yes it is up to you to know where all 8,000 items are at any given second of the day - I still have to know and all my kids are practically grown! Youngest one is 17. The rest are out of the house but when they come to visit they want to know where they left something the last time they were there! So not much hope of that getting better! Kids are very forgiving - apologize for youself but don't make a big deal out of apologizing - extra snuggle time. Know your triggers and start looking for them to head them off. One of the best ways is to just relax and know that whatever the day's top priority is can easily become less of a priority real easy. Adjust and modify - that's what days at home are all about. I was a sahm for 14 years - went back to work at the school when the youngest one was in second grade. I wouldn't give up those years for anything, enjoy the kids - remember that nothing "just has to be done" that day except growing kids and Moms. You're in the middle not one of the hardest jobs but the hardest job in the world and that calls for plenty of mid-day goal changes. Regular jobs have sick days - you may want to call yesterday a sick day or any future ones a sick day and just take off to take care of kiddos. Sounds like hubby is an active part and that is a true blessing. While seeming unfair and without a "my job is important too" lecture at least you can't get fired. As hectic and chaotic the days got I never wanted hubby pressures. But that's another response.

I know it seems hard - but sometimes 1 hour picnics/snuggle/laughing times in the living room make the rest of the day go alot smoother. I envy you with your little ones again - am looking forward to my first grandchild due in March. Believe it or not these are the best days of your life. And remember being home with Mom is a lot better than day care, all-day play dates - being with others that when they loose their temper the kids are scared on a whole 'nuther level. It may be the hardest job but it's the best job you never retire from!

Your day was a normal crappy day...its going to happen again and your going to lose your cool again...life is funny that way. Don't worry about it, kids are resilient...but you should absolutly apologize to your 5 year old, not only do you owe him an apology it will teach him that mommy isn't perfect and has to apologize sometimes too, so he won't feel so alone and it will make him feel respected, and all those things build self esteem. So the bonus of your crappy day is that you get an oppurtunity to build your childs self esteem!

Girl, this is a normal day. Take a deep breath, and apologize this morning with a hug and a kiss ready to start a new better day. We, as moms are the ones who have to know where everything is, how to fix it all, etc. Nobody told us we would lose sanity in the process. It is all OK, the best things about kids, is that normally they move on pretty quickly. But, you do want to apologize because if they acted like that towards you, you would want them to apologize too.....but, do not feel guilty for your breaking point either. Today is a new day, and it is all OK. I hope everyone is feeling better today. We have all had the same bug, now my 6 year old is home today with the flu. I have been home with her the last two days, today is dad's turn. Fortunately I think my 2 year old is on the mend.

We all have those days!!! And yes we all loose our tempers. I would apologize to your kids, so that you can set a good example. Don't feel too bad, you are human!

Don't worry too much. We all have crappy days and though it's bad to lose our temper we are only human. I would sit down with your boy and tell him you are sorry and that you made a mistake, he will feel better to know that Moms screw up too and that we too have breaking points. Maybe he'll cut you some slack next time. Hope today goes better for you!!!

This sounds like a day at my house. I have 3 kids, ages 8, 3, and 2. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 1/2 years now but will be returning to work next week and taking online college classes. I have days like this a lot. I get angry because they always need something or are always fighting, or tearing up something, and there are three of them and one of me. My husband works long hours and also plays in two different bands, so he is rarely home. I feel like a single parents most of the time, and I think when I get angry and yell at the kids its because deep down I resent my husband for not being here more to help. He is so understanding though, so when I tell him about a bad day such as yours he will cancel band practice and stay home to give me a break or tell me to go out with the girls for a break. Though I do not have a solution for you, I just want you to know that you are not alone. Having a day or night to get out does help with the stress level. Good luck.

I didn't have a crappy day today. However, I know excatly how you feel. It happens at our house often. I also have a 5 yr. old son and I have a 20 mn. old son. I don't work from home but I take my children to work with me, so I understand how frantic things can be. Especially with a sick child. I know that usually when I explode I always explain to my son that I'm sorry and that I was having a really stressful day and that I shouldn't have acted like that. He always says that it is okay. Children are usually very forgiving. Anyway, I hope that helps and my husband and I are also high school sweethearts and have been together for 16 years. I hope you have a better day/

I believe it is ALWAYS important to apologize to our children when we have done something wrong or we feel bad about. They need to know that just because we are their parents we have bad moments to and we need our time outs, or we have to apologize too. Children will respect that honesty I have found. My children are in their twenties now and I still find myself having to apologize sometimes.We have a great relationship I feel because of the honesty and candor. Hope this helps. R

M.-

I am not sure if someone has already told you this (I haven't been able to read through all the responses), but it's actually good for your kids to see you have emotions/feelings too. I always encourage my kids to let out their feelings instead of bottling them up inside. Yes, we strive to treat each other with respect, but we are all human and sometimes harsh words get said. With those times, we use them as an opportunity to show each other that we can apologize, hug, and makeup!

We have all been there! If it were me, I'd apologize for losing my temper, but try not to get too emotional about it. It's a good time to teach a lesson about taking care of your own things. Mostly, I say, give yourself a break. You had an awful day in every way, and it took a toll. When our kids are tired or hungry or overstimulated, we recognize that they won't respond to situations in a reasonable way, but we forget that we're the same! When we lose it, we have to cut our losses and start over the next day. I hope you have a much better day!

YES, apologize. It will make all of you feel better. First of all, we all have bad days. My son is 6. When I'm sorry for my actions or words, I get on my knees so I'm eye to eye with him, I tell him I shouldn't have acted the way I did, because there was really no reason. I assure him he didn't do anything wrong. I say, "You know how sometimes you feel and act cranky if you're tired or hungry? And maybe you don't act like a nice little gentleman when you're cranky? Well, Mommy and Daddy get like that sometimes, too. I was wrong for the way I acted and I'm sorry!" I'm a crier, so I'm probably crying at this point, but I give him a big hug and kiss and tell him I love him and I'll try to do better . . . Did you know, he does the same thing with me. Then action must follow words. And things really DO improve!

Apologize very quickly to the kids and tell that you are sorry you lost but Mommy is just human and you just reached your breaking point - then let it go. That's all they need to know. How are beating yourself up too much over things that are way beyond your control. You had a bad day - who doesn't once in a while. It's okay. Just say sorry and go on. Don't worry - the kids have probably forgotten all about it. You might also tell Hubby thanks so much all his help (even if it wasn't much-he attempted to help)so he knows you appreciate him.

Good luck and hang in there, girl.

It's always ok to appoligize. Just say, "I'm sorry mommy was so grumpy and yelled yesterday, I was having a really hard day with the baby being sick." Then give him a hug. It's good for him to see that you are acknowledging you made a mistake and that you still love him. I have days where I lose it and feel like a total failure, but I appologize and my kids still love me! Being a mommy is a hard job even without kids being sick! Don't be too hard on yourself, just start again!
A.

First of all, you're not alone in yelling at your children. If every mother were honest they would have to admit to really having come undone at one time or other. For me it was more that once (mother of 5). The best thing (in my opinion) is to sit your son down, explain that mommy was feeling really bad and with little sister sick also you just got upset and yelled. Explain to him that you feel bad for having yelled at him and you know that its not nice to do that. This will let him know that getting upset is natural but that we have to accept the consequence of our outburst resulting from getting upset. Yes, I know that he is only 5 and may not grasp the concept now, but you will be setting a standard for how you react and how he will be expected to react when he starts yelling at his little sister. And believe me, dispite your desire not to, you will yell again and so will he. Good luck, quit beating yourself up, and remember to watch for those teaching/learning moments that life throws you way.

A little about me:

I am the mother of 5. All grown now. Three boys, 33, 30, 20 and two girls, 28 and 23. There's not much I haven't experienced with these very different personalies and health conditions. All different from the very start and all treasured in my heart for the things they have taught me.

We've all had "those" days. Guess what? There will be more, and the bad news is.....there will be ones even WORSE. And yes, you are to know exactly where all 8,000 items in the house are at any given second of the day. However, you are still human and will forget. Therefore, do apologize to your children. Explain to them that there was WAY too much going wrong, adults make mistakes too, and you are sorry. Then, draw a line in the sand and carry on - you are SUPERWOMAN, remember?

I genuine apology is always nice to hear. Say your sorry and then let it go.

ps
I'm sorry you had a bad day! Thank goodness it's over :)!

K.

Everyone has really bad days. Seriously. Just apologize in the morning & make it a better day. You can't fix what happened, but you can make an effort to get some rest and try it better the next time.

Oh honey, don't berate yourself too much. We all lose it a little sometimes. Your kids have forgiven you already without you asking. We can't expect to be on top of every little thing every day. It was a bad day. Not every day is like this right? Your kids know you love them, that's why they can totally let go and misbehave with you. They are secure in your love. Your daughter probably needed to go to bed early having missed a nap and being sick. And if you think you should apologize to your son, then do so. He is old enough to understand that sometimes Mommy has bad days too. It's important to let him know that it's okay to break down sometimes. We all get angry. It's a great time to talk to him about talking feelings out and not hurting someone. Let him know that you have made mistakes just like he will. Let him forgive you just like you will forgive him when he makes a mistake.

You have gotten great advice from Stephanie. I agree that it is normal to lose our patience, but it is important that we do apologize. We are human and our children will learn from us. Just as we expect them to apologize when they make a mistake, so should we. I also use this type of thing to talk to them about the importance figuring out how to handle a situation better in the future, ie "what could I have done differently"? Sometimes it is simply walking away or telling them "I need a time-out" so I can calm down.

Good luck to you

How I know what you feel! I have FOUR children, ages 5,4,2 and 11 months! I have had similar days. Something that I remind myself is that they WON'T remember the bad days if the good days are far more numerous! And I try to encourage myself in the moment that THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Hugs and prayers,
S.

We all have our days...I hope you are doing better today! Apologize? I think "YES". When I "lose it" with mine, I do go back and apologize. If he doesn't understand all of what that means to say you are sorry -- no huge deal. But it shows you NEED to say it/mean it. It is a great example. I try to catch my kids before bed on stuff like this, because it affects my sleep if I don't! Nothing like getting a terrible night's sleep & feeling bad about how you have treated someone. Say a little prayer of Thanksgiving for the blessings you have too -- it helps! Also, maybe another little prayer for patience (God knows we need it -- so ask for it)! J.

I saw an episode of that Nanny show on TV that was quite similar to your situation, with a mom working at home, small kids etc.... This may sound corny, but that show really has some great ideas on how to deal with kids & difficult situations at home. Maybe you could get some back episodes on DVD or something. I learned some techniques that I use on my grandson. Good luck!

M.

When my son was young and I was the only SAHM in the neighborhood, and I was so lonely...no place to vent or get understanding! Thank god for MamaSource...you've got the first thing you need... a place to vent and get understanding!

You had a bad day. Now you talk/communicate with your kids: everyday is a lesson opportunity. Tell them how you feel and how you didn't like how you reacted, but that you still love them.

Next time count to ten or hundred to get regrounded and talk, talk , talk to your children about how you are getting frustrated, angry, whatever... then it can be a "group" project to get back closer to where you want to be. Now that I have a teenager, I give myself a "timeout" when I am losing it!

One of the best things to happen to me is that I now have a group of Mom friends who try to escape to meet and go to a movie or drinks and we just talk and laugh and don't feel so alone when we have those crappy days.

Hang in there!

Sure. Apologize, and let it go.

M., I hope you have a better day today. Sounds like your plate is over flowing. It was best for you and your kids that they went to bed early. Life, is not perfect, so don't beat yourself up when you can't make it perfect. These kind of days will make you appreciate the days when things go as planned. Remember, we all have them, so just do your best and if you can't get it done today, there's always tomorrow. Give your kids a big hug - there's unconditional love there.

Bless you, hardworking Mommy!! I have been in your screaming shoes many times--especially when my children were young-- and I think I know how you must feel. All you did was drop from SuperHuman Mom down to Human Mom... You are not alone and you are not a bad mom. YES please do apologize for getting out of control. Our children are surprisingly capable of massive forgiveness and will forget about it.

In fact, I believe it's better for them to see us fail, acknowledge wrongdoing and display a desire to improve. In short you are modeling how to fail and get back up in life! Isn't that more important than always doing things perfectly right?

You must try to forgive yourself too...it's a new day and God still loves you and your precious kids. I believe in you M.---you can do it!

We all have bad days!! Especially if we are sick and stressed. I would just gently tell him in the morning that Mommy loves him sooo much and that you are sorry you were ugly yesterday--that you were sick too, and had a bad day and it wasn't his fault. I have had to do more times than I wish. I am a homeschool mom, and when we are sick, there is no one else. My hubby can only help out so much during the day-someone has to go to work!! They are pretty sweet about forgiving us!!!

Sweetheart don’t even worry about it…. I mean yes you did blow your top, but really what mother doesn’t. I think seriously we should be initialed to have a couple of these days. Having children is a lot and then when there is more to just the children, cooking, cleaning, going to school, working full time and in some cases playing mommy and daddy. It’s a lot!!!! I was engaged to a man that had a son from his previous marriage (he was 5 @ the time) and I had just had my daughter. He worked 5 or some times even 6 days out the week and he worked 12 hour shifts (from 7 pm – 7am) so I would have to stay home with his son and our newborn daughter. It would have made it a little easier if he was a normal 5 year old, but unfortunately this lovely little boy @ heart was sick. He has ADHD and I put infuses on the H because he was so hyper I would get tiered just watching him run around the house. When he would speak he would speak @ 100 miles a min. making it hard for us to understand him, when he did anything he always felt like he had to RUN and when he did anything in his way would be hit (that includes people, babies, animals, and in some cases walls and doors). So there were many days I had like you have just described. There would be days when he would just be @ his worst, breaking things, running, screaming at the top of his lungs, waking up the baby once I put her down, crying or whining for no reason, and once even jumping on the bed the baby was napping on all while I am trying to either get house work done before daddy came home or trying to cook dinner. So there were always constant sit downs with him trying to get him to see what he is doing is not right, there were even times when I felt like spanking him but never did I lay a hand on him just for the fact that this was not my child. I was @ my wits in and overwhelmed many times and there were many nights when he did get punished and sent to bed early with some yelling on my behalf. But in the morning I would go into his room to wake him up and I would see him sleeping and would wake him up with hugs and kisses asking him if we would have a better day today. That was my way of showing him that I now @ times its not his fault and he can not held it, but I still love him and we are going to try again. Now his father and I are no longer together and I regret every day that we had out BAD days. So yes we do have the right some times, but always try to make the best of it and make up with them in your own way. Hold them and show them you love them… because in my case I didn’t know that it would get taken away from me. GOOD LUCK and buy a punching bag that had also help me with many of my frustrations.
T.

Dear M.~
Everybody has a bad day every once in awhile, and kids are very forgiving! as long as your yelling is not a habit then quit beating yourself up with guilt! Tomorrow is a new day.
Huggs!

Please, give yourself a break. Everyone does this every once in a while. It is just if it is all day long, every day. I would sit my 5 year old down and just talk truthful with him. Momma had a hard day. I am sorry. I should not have raised my voice with you.
You are normal. I remember the first time I yelled and lost it in front of my children. I was so guilt ridden. I can only count on one hand how many times that has happened. Instead of guilt, I will be proud. You should try that too.

Mother of twin boys 3 and little girl 5

First of all...don't be so hard on yourself. We all have crappy days. I would definitely hug your kiddos and tell them you are sorry for getting upset...it will make all of you feel better. Some days when things are going like that for me, I would tell my kids (when they were young I had 2 step-daughters along with my 1 son) that mommy was going to go her room because I didn't want to get angry. Sometimes they'd get upset that I was doing this, but what eventually happened was if I just stopped and said "Mommy needs a time out", they'd also stop and say they would be good, or they would help me. They didn't like it when I went to another room. Still, the main thing is not to be hard on yourself and pick your battles. We are all going to lose it at times.

I'm reading The No Cry Discipline Solution/Pantley and one of the first things she writes is that every parent gets mad and yells sometimes and that if we're doing a good job 70% of the time we're doing great--it's a very reassuring read (down with the myth that some parents never get angry and yell!). She also offers solutions on how to avoid the anger in the first place, as of course we'd rather not yell. I used to have a bad day and I'd feel guilty--and thereby hold onto it, making another bad day. Now I acknowledge the bad day, apologize, and get over it (and I now lose my temper and yell very rarely because I have a healthier attitude toward anger and react better when I feel it). Feel free to let it go, we all have bad days and tomorrow can be better!

Hi-

I'm sorry you had such a rotten day today. I hope that your little girl is feeling better soon and that you are able to get the rest that sounds very much needed.

All moms get these very, very, very trying days sometimes. Don't be too hard on yourself, but it would be a great idea to tell your kids that you had a hard day (yesterday) and that you love them even when you are upset. Then give them lots of hugs and kisses. You would be surprised at how easy it is for them to remember the kisses and hugs of today and forget the upset words of yesterday. God is so good that way, He makes our children very forgiving and forgetful when we do our best to love them and take care of them. Bad days and mistakes will happen, but if we call on our Heavenly Father in our time of distress and also take a moment to breath deep, say a prayer, then respond, it makes all the difference in the world.

I hope this helped. I am also a mother of two, 8 and 4 years, and I know all about those kinds of days. I also know about the days when my heart breaks with joy for the gift of having them these few short and fast flying years.

In God's Love,

S.

Definitely apologize for losing your temper. Most mothers have lost their temper at one time or another. On days when your daughter or son is sick, you will have to set aside work as much as possible or work after they are asleep. With pressure from work and home, sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of our children and it creates stress for everyone. One thing that may help you feel less stressed is to try to be as organized as possible. I have three children and it helps alleviate some stress. We have a shoe basket by the door. And we do the same basic routine everyday. Hope this helps! If you get really stressed, you can always give yourself a "time out" and tell your children "mommy is in "time out". It may allow you to recollect yourself.

Hi M.,

I have days like that and I am sorry to say quite often. It is always good to say sorry because that teaches the kids that when we get upset and make mistakes it is good to make thing right. Hang in there life is a roller coaster with ups and downs (sometimes more downs than ups). But, the hard times make us stronger and wiser and we appreciate the good times much more because of them. Love yourself, forgive yourself. You love your kids they love you and will forgive you. Here is a {HUG} for you. Keep being a good mommy. :)
Always,
M. K

I have so been there more times than i care to admit. It's a constant battle to keep my cool. I'm a single mom to two boys and I work full time. I get no support from their dad, though he loves them very much and sees them as much as he can (that's a whole other issue). But it's tough, and sometimes I just get so frustrated that I am the only one and have to (it sometimes seems) take care of every little thing, and be the strong rock so my boys grow up and have healthy relationships- and not be like their dad in that respect. I don't really have advice, but wanted you to know you are not alone! Hang in there, you rock. And they probably have forgotten, but I dont' think it would hurt to say you were having a bad day and apologize for losing your temper, or however you want to say it.

I say apologize when they wake up. It's ok for mom to lose her temper sometimes, but the kids don't realize that. And they won't remember it when they wake up honestly, but just letting them know that you DO remember and remember that you may have shocked them with your actions will comfort them, I think. If you think about it... did that ever happen with your mom? I know it would've made a difference to me for my mom to admit when she was wrong. Good LUCK!!!! ;-)

Apologize, and explain to your son that you were not feeling well. Kids only understand whats said to them, if he has made it this far, and you haven't had this kind of day Kudos to you.

Always apologize to your kids when you have done something wrong. If you don't, you can't expect them to. Example is, very often, the best teacher.

sometimes the world just seems to be working against us and we break down and cry. other times we ask for help and reach out because as much as we want to be supermom, we work better not working at all. Find a friend in the neighborhood who you can ask to watch your kids for a few moments on an emergency basis. Offer to do this in turn for her. Then if you ever feel like you are about to hit your limit, you call in for an emergency. Kids are handed over with no questions asked for 15 minutes to one hour depending on what you agreed on. It gives you time to collect yourself and nothing is said that you can't take back.
Or, you might try checking out a place like www.motherhoodcenter.com where you can do mommy and me yoga to get the break you need. On certain days, they offer inexpensive babysitting while you get a massage. A break is important when you work from home. It is also important to get your rest, exercise, and nutrition so that you can keep it together for your children.

Hi M.,

My kids are grown now, but I remember those days like the one you had. I feel it is important to apologize to your son. Not to say you are sorry for getting mad, but to say you are sorry that you both had a bad day yesterday. Being only five, he won't understand a lengthy apology. Just say something like, "I'm sorry I had such a bad day yesterday. I didn't feel very good. I love you." Then sit and read a story together. Getting mad doesn't make you a bad mom. Even children get mad and "blow up." I feel it is important to let them know we all make mistakes and we are big enough to apologize when we know we didn't react the correct way. The fact that your reaction worries you says a lot about the kind of mother you are. You truly care about your children and are concerned about their feelings. I think it was very sweet of your husband to show up at the doc's office. Keep on keeping on. They grow up and are gone so fast.

You know by the next day your son will forget you lost it with him and he will be no worse for wear. Kids bounce back so fast and they forgive so readily. Because they love so much! Yes apologize and let him know you are sorry. That will teach him to do the same. Fix his favorite dinner or make him cookies. All will be forgiven you'll see!
Do something extra for yourself today too! Forgive yourself!

I think you are a human being! It sounds like a very challenging day to say the least. The good thing is is that you feel the remorse of yelling and recognize your feelings about it. Some unfortunately do not have that sense and wind up hurting their children. As far as apaulogizing; I would not make a huge deal of it but I would do it for 2 reasons: 1)They know it not always okay to yell at others when they are mad and 2)To let them know you were frustrated with the situation, not at them and that you love them dearly.

Hi M., absolutely apologize but only for losing your temper and simply explain that mommys have bads too, then suggest that the 2 of you do something together like make dinner or pop popcorn and watch a movie he likes and just chill together, I had 5 kids and homeschooled all of them and I had many days like that. My son also lost everything I finally got him a pair of shoes that stayed by the back door and that were only used for outside.