I Lost It and Feel Terrible!

Don't we all have moments/days/week like this at some point?

I apologize when it's called for. My kids learn that mommys and daddys can make mistakes too. It's how you react to that mistake that helps.

Mom's lose it from time to time-and we all feel guilty about it.

Don't beat yourself up. Put your daughter on your lap, apologize and tell her that lots of times mommys just get really frustrated and you didn't mean to scare her. Maybe point out how when she can't get something to work and she has a meltdown or something -so she gets it on her level.

You'll both feel better-and even if she remembers, she'll remember what you said after too and be fine.

Don't be too hard on yourself.
Your daughter may or may not remember it, but she won't be traumatized for life.
We all have our breaking points. My kids would just be like, "Okay....mom's had it."
They would either go into another room to give me a minute to myself or they would get busy picking things up or doing something to help me.
Some days I am so tired and I just tell my son (he's 15 now), "Look, if you hear any cussing, just pretend you didn't. I'm not mad at YOU, I just have a really short fuse right now."
He's old enough to understand.
He says the same thing. "Mom, don't think I'm mad at you if I'm in a bad mood. I've just about had it with this world history homework."
We just let each other know.
Talk to your daughter about it. You don't have to beg forgiveness for being human.

Best wishes.

M. S.

We've ALL been there. You're not alone.
I'm not sure how old your daughter is but I think what she will remember is if you sit her down and say something like. "I'm sorry I lost my temper. I have a lot to do, but I'm sorry I yelled. I didn't mean to scare you and I'm sorry if I did."

Now go give that dog a Scooby Snack!

Been there, done that...Mt. Momma blew, now deep breath and move forward. A time will come when you no longer have a dog, you're daughter won't want to be around you because her ear is glued to the phone or she's at the mall, and you'll have the chance to tackle that "to do" list and cup of coffee without interruption. They are young for such a short time.
I have to remind myself of that daily...sometimes hourly. I'm home with 2 kids under 4 years old (who both have the flu at the moment), a dog, and a husband who is deployed for a year, so I'm on my own. I know what it's like to feel at the end of a rope...but somehow that rope gets longer and your grip gets tighter just when you're ready to give up, and allows you to drive on.
This is all part of the "job description" of "M.O.M." and you'll be ok and so will your daughter. You're doing great!

Just want to tell you that we've ALL had THOSE moments, where we behave horribly to our children, usually out of frustration that often has little to do with them directly. It SUCKS, big time. I've done it, and cried and fretted about it for days afterwards. Luckily, the kids DO move on from it, and I don't think they ruminate about it nearly as much as we do.

I will say, though, that it IS absolutely appropriate to APOLOGIZE to your baby, hug her (and the dog :) and cry with her if you need to. It's ok for them to see us BEING HUMAN. More importantly, it's essential for them to see us doing our best to right our wrongs. It's a great teaching moment for us with our children.

>>HUGS<< to you! I know how bad this makes you feel! I've been there! Just learn from it, and try not to do it again... And LOVE your daughter!! :)

I just answered a post, no she will not....I have lost it many times and I always aplogized and explained why I did what I did.She will not be traumatized...my kids don't remember a thing, if I lose it now once in a while, they laugh at me or will ask me, if I need help with anything....they are the best kids in the world !!!!
I know how it is,you don't have a minute to yourself, ever...that makes you lose it once in a while, we are human, not robots...but sometimes I do wonder about some people though lol....
I could give you all the tips in the world,but trust me, if you have a moment you have a moment....
Snuggle up with your little girl and explain to her, it's not her fault whatsover,
and sometimes, things are getting just to much....

So my son got off the bus yesterday and we ran to the grocery to get food for him LOL Anyhoo, he was teasing me like he always does and I was snappy and edgy and just cranky. At 14 he is old enough to ignore it, but when we got home I just got worse and worse until he told me just to go lay down or something and chill out. I felt horrible - then I looked at the calendar - Yep its been 21 days.

All if this is a long way of saying it is okay to have a cranky attack. I have made my son cringe and my pets run off and hide and they all still love me and don't live in fear of me.

You have a lot of stuff on your plate and your are human so of course you are going to have bad days. We all do it. Explain to your child exactly that - M. is having a bad day. Apologize for your behavior and tell her that you need a time out. My son still sends me to time out.

Most importantly - forgive yourself. You have not done any permanent damage. But you do need to find ways to de-stress. Hire a M.'s helper, a maid, a dog walker, something or somebody that can you give you a little break each day so you can finish your cup of coffee?

Take a deep breathe - Okay?

Dear M. S,

First, you are not alone. I know alot of moms who can relate to you-- Everyone loses it once in awhile. The important thing is that you regain control, apologize to your daughter for scaring her and try to take some things off of your plate so you aren't so stressed! Is there anyone who can help you? You didn't tell how old your daughter is--- so I can't tell you if she will remember or not.

Take a deep breath, go for a walk and forgive yourself. It will be ok. Do only the things that absolutely need to be done and pass some tasks on to your husband! Best wishes.

Molly

We all have days/moments like that. We all do the best we can :-)

We've all certainly been there and done that and if one claims they have not, they are lying! :) ha ha I am having a rough day myself, I am a mom of 3 and today just felt like no one was listening, my oldest was talking back, my 4 year old hates her winter hat, my 14 month old started climbing onto EVERYTHING, etc...I am certainly PMS'ing and my husband's also been gone on business so I've been doing it ALL...We all need and deserve our own quiet time no matter what that may be. I would say you defintiely need a day for you, I plan on getting one soon! :) Cheer up, you are not alone!

I have done this a few times and I'm not a stay at home M.. I think you might need to in the near future see if your hubby can keep your daughter and dog so you can go get a pedi or even a cup of coffee. This really helps me when I'm stressed and at the end of my rope.

What a coincidence! I did something similar today, frightened my son to bits with my intense screaming and it was heartwrenching to see him cryng in front of me but just could n't pull it any longer. and this despite having two maids at home who looks after dishes, cleaning and some other chores. i am also a working woman and have loads of work that i carry home which is always at the back of my mind and as a result i am not able to be mentally present with my child though we physically provide. its really really sad. i

I USED TO PRACTICE YOGA BEFORE MY SON WAS BORN AND TRIED AMILLION TIMES GETTING BACK TO IT.. WHERE AS YOU MENTION THERE IS NO ME TIME.

BUT I GUESS ITS IMP TO STRIKE WORK LIFE BALANCE OR ELSE WE'LL HAVE MORE SUCH EMBARASSING MOMENTS. LETS GIVE OURSELVES SPACE TO DELVE INTO OUR INNER SOULS, CALM THAT MONSTER DOWN AND GET BACK TO OUR KIDS :)

wE GOTTA TRY HARDER !!! sTILL HARDER!!! GO ON AND ON AND ON..

Everybody has days like this. I know that I certainly have. What I did is sit down with my sons and explain that M. made a mistake. Something like "I'm sorry I scared you. I was frustrated but I should not have kicked toys or screamed". I think it's good for your children to see that adults make mistakes too. It sets a good example that you can admit to it and it helps build trust with them.

Maybe you can speak to your hubby about pitching in a little more with chores and errands? Also, if you haven't already done it, communicate to him that you MUST get some alone time just for yourself so that you can relax and regain your sanity. You don't mention the age of your daughter but if she's old enough, maybe she can start pitching in to help with some of the household messes.

Awwww...hugs:)

Don't feel bad, just assess things you can do and things you can ask your hubby to do to lighten some of the load so in the future you don't percolate so long that you eventually burst! You are human and as a human, you have a breaking point. Sounds like you reached yours.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Kids see us lose it from time to time and as long as you work to repair whatever they saw...help them understand it wasn't their fault and sometimes everyone gets so frustrated that they have to kick a toy:) The repair process is the way to go I think, because we can't be perfect mama's all the time. It's not realistic and in a way, I think it's good for children to see the "human" side of their parents. This way, when they feel icky and ready to explode, they know it's going to be okay and can also repeat the repair process for themselves if they ever explode with friends.

Find a way to get a break...like, maybe an entire weekend day...regroup and it will be okay:)

Hang in there mama!

PS
I just heated up my coffee for the third time and it's only 10am!!!

you're human. It's okay. I don't know how old your DD is so it's hard to say if she'll remember it. If she's old enough to understand, it would be very meaningful to apologize to her for your "tantrum" and use it as a teachable moment for both of you.

Sometimes getting up just a half hour earlier in the morning can make a difference. You can drink your coffee in peace and quiet and gather your thoughts for the day. Prioritize what's most important on your to do list and let the rest go.

My best suggestion is tell her you are sorry that you got angry, and suggest that maybe you need time out. My kids appreciate when we admit that we should have handled things a little better, and the kids love to see us get time out for offenses that they would also get punished for (ex. throwing toys, kicking things etc) They are only 2 and 3, but seem to like to know that everyone needs to follow. Throw out the to-do list, and keep a have-to-do-or someone will starve/die etc. The house can be cleaned when they are older. Get yourself into time-out once a morning to just have your coffee :) Let your little ones know early that you have needs to...it's good for them to recognize early on that you have needs, and that your needs matter too. Good luck.

Hi M.,
Some days can seem overwhelming, can't they? You didn't say how old your daughter is. But, I do know that love covers a multitude of sins. :) Go to her and apologize. Tell her that you know you were wrong and that you are sorry. While it may be a factor in the way we feel, we should not blame PMS or anything else for the way we behave. That is a cop-out. It is tempting, I know. And, there are real issues with PMS, but we are still responsible for our behavior. I find that when I focus on me and my wants, I tend to be discontent and frustrated. But, when I shift my focus onto my family and others, I find myself more joyful in the tasks that need to be done. When I cry for "me time" I am discontented. When I truly have a desire to serve and love others, I am filled with more contentment and joy. Your place in life right now is serving your family. Embrace it. Yes, as wives and mothers, we spend most of our time doing for our families. It's a good thing, really. Selfishness and the way we are bombarded by media with reasons to be discontented are our enemies. You are in a battle. So, you throw out your coffee. Big deal. In the meantime, you have loved your daughter and husband by taking care of their needs. You have built relationships by taking that time to help others. The house is destroyed. Get rid of all the excess stuff you have, or be thankful for what you have in that you have a house to be destroyed with a ton of stuff. Train your daughter to work alongside you. She can be a big help as she grows. Be thankful. I know, it can be so hard in the midst of a temper tantrum. :) Train yourself to think differently. Blessings, dear. I know that some days are very difficult. Oh, and make sure you are getting enough sleep!

As a full time working mom to a 4 year old and 4 mo old, I can totally relate. I got NO sleep last night with the baby, and now I have a sick boy. I just fussed him out for vomiting on the couch, for the 3rd time (he's trying to watch TV and vomit at the same time-grr). I feel bad because I know he feels terrible. It's so hard sometimes, but I am breathing and counting to 10 as I write this. lol
Take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself. You aren't superwoman, even if it's expected. We wear a ton of hats, and it's overwhelming at times.
Just apologize to your daughter, explain that M. just got upset for a minute, that you are all better now, and move on. It's ok to be human sometimes.