Fussy Baby - Rock City Falls,NY

She may have gas .. mylicon drops are great for gas. If she is uncomfortable.. things will change when she is .

Alison, I wouldn't worry about her crawling. My oldest son never crawled. He went from laying on the belly to walking and walked at 10 1/2 months. You haveto let her scream it out. You are catering to her and she knows it too. She has learned that if she screams you would pick her up. She needs to learn to comfort herself and "entertain" herself. Both of my boys have learned to "entertain" themselves and now my third one is learning but it's difficult because he has two of his brothers running around and that entertains him...ha,ha,ha. If the older ones are napping, I put on VeggieTales if I haveto do something and can't play with him right then and there. He also in a walker and we don't have stairs that he can go down on with the walker, but he loves it becaue he's is able to move around and get around....
let us know what was the outcome...okay. If any ore questions,let us know or if you have questions you want to ask me, feel free to do so.

My daughter was the same way and she never crawled went straight from rolling to walking :P I wouldn't worry about your LOs milestones, it sounds like she's meeting them.

Now for the allergy stuff: First off, have you eliminated ALL dairy, soy and eggs? Check your labels and then double and triple check them--you'll find trace amounts of these in most processed meats, vitamins, probiotics, snacks, most baby foods , dressings, cosmetics, possibly newspaper ink etc. Watch out for crumbs ;-) If you eat out, look for cross contamination. Also with a soy allergy your daughter could be sensitive to other legumes--peanuts, kidney beans, chick peas etc. Eliminate items which are "produced on shared equipment" or "may contain traces of . . . " Once your sure you've eliminated all of these from your daughter's diet (and yours if breastfeeding) for more than 6 weeks and don't see an improvement consider other sensitivities and try keeping a food log with everything your daughter consumes (include your diet if BF.) Also note any environmental factors--cleaning liquids periodically used, neighbors spraying pesticides/herbicides etc.

Right now your daughter needs you--don't "cut back" on how much you hold her, just invest in some good carriers with full support--ERGO, Patapum, Becco, a mei tai, a wrap--whatever works for you. In most of the world babies are literally in contact with some one 24/7, being carried or worn or sleeping in the family bed. There is nothing wrong with this and the skin contact is very soothing for a LO--go shirtless with a nakkey baby if you can (wrap a shawl around both of you).

One other thing you might want to see about is whether the evening fussiness is because your daughter needs to pee/poo. Get a waterproof pad and some towels and let her roll around naked for a while and change the towels out as soon as they're wet. Seriously a lot of what people write off as "just the baby being fussy" is really because of a full bladder or gas :D

I totally understand how hard this period can be and most of my advice is "easier said than done", but take everything one hour at a time and get all the support you can from your family & friends.

Hang in there.

I disagree with your doctor about cutting back carrying her. Did your Dr mention that 9 months is when they begin to understand that they are a separate being from mama, hence the beginning of separation anxiety? I remember my previously independent daughter being very clingy at 9 and 10 months. I got a great back carrier (I like the Ergo) and carried her around the house like that. She felt secure and I had my hands free. Your daughter will crawl and walk when she is ready. Right now she needs you and you can't spoil her by keeping her close. It will probably really help her fussyness too.

wow- a lot of food allergies to juggle. There are some great on line resouces to help-- LIving WithOut talks alot about teh cross contamination and gives up to date info on a monthly basis. We have to live without soy, processed sugar and gluten (wheat, barley,..). The up to date resoce adn celica.com has a weekly newletter they send out to again help keep me up to date with teh cross contamination aspect of things.

It is tough, .. another suggetion would be to see if there is a Moms group around . I looked for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) ours mets at a park and other places in the summer. It is a great help to hang out with other moms who have been there and can sit with you and vent as needed or give the support to help get through it.

I'm assuming that since she has these allergies and has been fussy all her life, that you have always carried her around a lot since she was born. Is it possible that she just got used to being carried around all the time and she never learned how to play on her own during the past 3 or 4 months, like most kids do? Now that she is old enough to be able to play more independently, she is balking at it because she is still used to being carried around. So she cries when she is put down because she knows that you will pick her up. She is old enough now to be spoiled, so you have to start working on some discipline. Yes, that may mean dealing with some crying, but you have to encourage her to play on a play mat and get some exercise on her own. That doesn't mean put her down and ignore her. Play with her without picking her up. At night, try a shorter routine and try putting her to bed an hour earlier. She may be more fussy because she needs to be going to bed earlier.

I have a cousin who screamed and screamed for the first year. Finally on an emergency room visit a doctor found he had a small hernia in his diaphram that was pinching his intestines that he must have had from birth. I would think your baby just has colic but I think colic clears up around 6 months or so. Take her to the MD and have her checked out again, especially if she seems in pain. Poor little thing.

I also went through the same thing with my son. Allergies to milk, soy, wheat and eggs. Did she get tested for wheat as well? If not, ask if she can be. Also, maybe it's part separation anxiety? I agree with others, in that if you feel something else is going on, trust your instinct and get a second opinion if your dr will not look further into it. Good luck! :)

At 9 months my son loved his jumper (the kind that you hang in the doorway) and his walker (we do not have any open staircases so he could fly around our first floor without a problem). By that age he was not interested in the swing or anything like that anymore, he wanted to go. Even the exer-saucer was too confining.

If you haven't tried them they might be worth it? I don't know anything about allergies but it looks like you got lots of advise on that. Good luck, hopefully something works.

Hi Alison
How are you doing this AM?
I am so sorry that your lovely daughter has allergies. Allergies are not easy to deal with. All four of my children had allergies. Some were easier to spot than others. Sounds like there may be an allergy you have not caught yet. We had some of ours tested, but mostly it is trial & error. Keep a diary of what she eats, when, how much, and also when she is fussy, screaming, and any other problem. with times and dates. I set up a diet sheet with 24/7 grid long after our son had been diagnosed with milk, eggs, & soy allergies. MD took one look and said take away corn in all forms and see what happens.
He was not 9 mos, but it was fast at the MD office.
One of the girls is allergic to red dye.
Our other boy has an enzyme definiency, and it was sugar that caused the biggest trouble. That was a lengthy diagnosis, and a lot of heart ache.
I guess what I am trying to say is you may not have a complete diagnosis. In the meantime, ask the MD about vitamins etc. Then go to the health food store and get some great ones for babies. Nutrition is the key to combating allergies. Usually very allergic babies are lacking VIT B, but you take Vit C to make B in the body, then the B's are made in balance. Careful of stomach & or diarreah from too much, so start with low dose and build. Check for alternative med MD in your area.
SAHM of 4 including twins, married nearly 40 years and looking forward to our empty nest as the twins graduate from homeschooling high school and head to college in the fall. Email me at ____@____.com.

You have a spoiled fussy baby.LOL I know it is hard but you have to put her down for a nap or at night and let her cry herself to sleep. Even if she cries for two hours you have to or you will have no sanity and a baby 24/7 up. Get a walker if you do not have one. or a swing. Put the baby in the play pen with some toys and leave the room for a few minutes. she might start to play. If she is standing then I do not think there is anything wrong with her not crawling. She may not be ready. I'd rather that she walked. Is she still fussy with gas? Does she get a reflux? Try putting a pillow under the mattress on one side. That is the side you put her head. My daughter was fussy with gas and reflux and when I did that she was better. She was allergic to milk.

Does your pediatrician have another Dr you can see? I'd go to someone else and get a second opinion. Even if they're in the same practice, ask to see someone else. Follow your mommy instinct, if you think somethings wrong, then trust in it.

Alison
I know she has been to the doctor, but we went through the same thing with no reason for her fussiness, until we had her ears checked. Turned out to be a double ear infection. Once she was treated we had a different baby. She suffered a long time without us knowing....there were no signs. Just thought we had a cranky baby. Doesn't hurt to check it out.
Good luck!
B.

I was in the same boat with my twins 2 years ago. We had eliminated milk, egg, soy and corn but the fussing continued. It did not occur immediately after eating necessarily. It was usually all night long screaming and fussing during the day. When we eliminated wheat, it did the trick immediately. I know it is hard to consider eliminating more, but try wheat and corn, one at a time.
If corn is a problem, it was a big offender for us, it is in all processed foods in either high frucose corn syrup, corn oil or flour.
We avoided feeding the babies all grains for almost the first year as they aggravate digestive problems. I was nursing, so I eliminated the allergenic items from my diet and kept nursing to help make them stronger.

Here are a few substitutes that made life a bit easier: Old Chatham Shepherd Company makes sheeps milk yogurt. My boys were fine with that as are most who are sensitive to cow milk. It is easier to digest than even goat milk, which many can tolerate but my boys could not. It can be found or ordered through your local health food store or whole foods carries it. It is expensive, but worth it. It is very creamy and delicious. Romano and manchego cheese are also made from sheeps milk and my guys loved that. We bought brown rice pasta, which is very good and comparable to semolina in taste. We ate a lot of brown rice and oats (once they approached a year). The egg white is what is usually the offender, my guys were fine with the yolks of organic eggs.

It was hard to use gluten free products which had no wheat because corn was often a substitute. Namaste makes products with neither (found in health food stores). Barbara's natural has rasberry fig bars with neither for a treat. Van's makes wheat free and soy free frozen waffles. We ate oats and rice. Some Asian rice crackers work because they have no corn oil.

Finally, at about 18 months, a woman pushed her way through aa crowd when she heard me talking about the allergies to someone and told me about NAET. It stands for Nambudripad's Allergy Elimination Techniques. NAET.com. It is a bit strange, but I found a practitioner and she treated them and eliminated the allergies one item at a time with one treatement per item. They can eat everything now! She is a accupuncturist, but no needles were involved. I was amazed and delighted that it totally worked for them, and it also eliminated my soy allergy that I had dealt with for 15 years. I only wish that I had found out about it earlier, it would have made the first 2 years of my boys' lives much more enjoyable!!
Good luck to you.
L.

hi allison,
I am a mother of 4 (3 boys & 1 girl) my oldest is 18, my youngest is now 4.From experience I can tell you that all infants & toddlers take a minimum of 72 hours to break any habit. Consistancy is the key. It can be heartbreaking to hear them cry. Mostly it will be nervewrecking. If you want to break the fussiness cycle you will need to be very patient and firm. She is used to being held so she will fuss and even tantrum when you deny her what she wants. It is a comfort thing for her. She likes being held because it makes her feel safe. She will find a way to comfort herself if you allow her to. Unfortunately this will be harder for you than for her once you give it a try. Crawling will come once she discovers her confidence & independence from you.72 hours is the minimum, you will see a change if you try this. Let her fuss and cry.So long as she is in a safe environment she will be okay. you will be tempted to give up. Like I said it is very hard to watch them cry. You will probably cry with her.( Im not kidding) Just give her some soft items she can comfort herself with( pillows, blanket, plush toys ) and make sure she doesnt hurt herself if she tantrums.Then just give her positive reinforcement when she's quiet qnd comforting herself.Dont ignore her if she cries just remind her that you love her but that you dont like her fussing.
you can email me if you need more indepth details. i hope this helps

Hi Alison,

It doesn't matter if crawling at 9 months is normal or not, because if she doesn't want to do it she won't. My son skipped crawling altogether and started walking at 10 1/2 months. He was and still is a "high maintenance" attention sponge, and oldest babies tend to need more attention because we give it to them. Later in the birth order you can't give them the same amount of attention and so they scream a bit and then learn that 'you cain't always get what you want, but if you cry real hard you get what you need.'

Do you have play time with her where you aren't holding her? You might try to transition from being held 24/7 to her not being held but being played with on the floor. She may scream at first but if you don't rush to pick her up, she will not suffer emotional damage and will eventually get the message that she won't be picked up all the time. You need to make it clear that you love her, are there for her, will give her attention, but not only on her terms. It is important that she learns to have 'down' time or you will be hurting her emotionally--she will not know how to be alone and as you well know, in this world we are ultimately alone.
Remember, you are not going to be walking away and leaving her. You will be right there, just not picking her up. She MUST learn that is OK and safe. By the way, she probably doesn't know how to play by herself so she has to learn slowly how to do it (so there is no 'should be playing' yet--she has to learn it).

Don't worry--she is doing fine motorically (I am a physical therapist) and she just needs to learn some new skills. It's going to be hard for both of you--a lot of fear and anxiety and I can't stand this for both of you. But you must let her scream a bit--comfort her without picking her up for gradually longer and longer periods of time and certainly NOT right away.

Hang in there--you will get thru this, too!!!
A.
PS--Just looked thru the other responses and I do agree that you need to make sure that there are no more physical issues like more undetected allergies. I like the idea of checking her sensory integration for problems there. Still, ultimately you need to get her used to being down on the floor without being held all the time. If she is able to play with things while she is being held then it sounds to me to be more of a need to learn the skill of being alone.

30 years ago had one like that.we finallylet him cry3nights....each time he took a breather from crying we would crawl in and look to see if ok.he has been a great sleeper since. she got used to being held because you did it wwhen she had all those issues. i personally, would have a chiropracte check her. they handle babes differently, but it helped my son. also, SHE NEED TO CRAWL to read well. If she is standing, do not encourage her to walk as of yet. the midline development in the brain occurs now, and is helped along with the crawling. The left to right sequencing needed to read develops along withn it. So, get down and crawl with her!!! Till she gets it. make a game of it. she'll catch on. it is soooo important. have you tried goat's milk?
AM

Hi Alison, we had a tough first born too. I have a 3yr boy and now a 1yr old boy. It sounds like she is colicky especially from the hours of 3-8. That was always the window of pain for us too. My boys also had Reflux which resulted in being very cranky and some say is colic? I don't know but it does pass. Does she spit up a bit and then real cranky after eating? If so, then maybe you should ask your doctor about reflux. My first was also intolerant of milk (not allergic) he couldn't do milk or ice cream really and if he had it at dinner or night, he was up all night in pain.

It is hard b/c all you want to do is enjoy being a parent and your child but is so stressful and hard. Even though they are amazing and you love them so much it is hard to not be cranky yourself or so sad.

If she is gassy too, holding her all the time and pressure on the belly is what she likes, maybe a little Milicon with her bottle?

It does get better after 12mos- you are almost there if there is no remedy. Believe me, I wouldn't have had another if is wasn't mcuh better b/c it was tough in the beginning as first timer!

Hope this helps a little
K.

Alison,

Sounds very much like my first baby was, minus the allergies...but constantly fussy and "difficult". Thanks to some moms in this group, I found out that he has a Sensory Processing Disorder. Now, I'm not suggesting that your baby has it, but if you haven't ever heard of it you might want to google it and see if some of the red flags fit your daughter's behaviors...or it could just be that she is used to being held due to being held so much early on.

I just know that if I had known about Sensory Processing Disorder 9 years ago, I could have saved my child from years of suffering, so it is worth looking into. For what it's worth, I hope your baby doesn't have it and will adjust in time to being more independent.

As for the crawling...don't worry about that. It is very normal for a baby not be crawling at 9 months, and some never crawl so it is not even considered a developmental stage.

D.