I am the mother of a son and daughter as well, but they are grown with children of their own, and I happen to have an 11 year old grand daughter. Yes, your suspicion of hormones is more than likely a factor, but so are friends and stars she may look up to. Watch that closely and take any negitives and talk to her about them. Have you considered making a contract with her? Explain (once again)what you expect from her, why these things are important, and consequences for her not following through with her responsibilities. Make all of these very clear among the 3 of you,then workout a plan together and write it all out. When she has been diligent in following through with her responsibilities for a month, give her a token of appreciation. Nothing big, maybe lunch with Mom (or Dad) alone, getting something for her room like a poster, new earrings, etc. just a gift to say you appreciate her efforts. Your part of the contract might be that you both will treat her with respect, fairness, and not nag about her following through with those responsibilites. Tell her you trust her to hold up her end of the contract. Then follow through. It may be she needs a change in where she does her homework, away from distractions, maybe she needs some de-stress time before tackling things at home. School can be stressful. Have you asked her why SHE thinks she isn't making them the priority they have been in the past? Listen to not only what she says, but how she says it. And "I don't know" is an answer. She may not know why. You might want to give her some suggestions as to why. She is changing. Is she involved in a lot of activities? If she is, she might be a little overwhelmed. Remember she IS going to be moody sometimes because she is going into her teens. Give her a little slack because of that. How often is she not making them the priority she should? Every week? More? Less? Stop and evaluate the degree and frequency. Watch and listen to her music and friends. Parents begin loosing the place of wisdom to these influences much sooner than we like to think. Remind her you love her and depend on her and trust her to to what needs to be done. Are you trying to have everything neat and tidy with all chores done all the time? That is unrealistic and you don't need a perfectly clean house to have a happy family, which is way more important than a house. Or could it be the opposite? We get so busy with life outside the home we sometimes let it go too long and it isn't a comfortable place any more. If you two aren't doing your part, why should she? Evaluate yourself and see if your own stresses are making you and your husband more stressed in dealing with the family. Sometimes we are the problem not our kids :) You might try making a schedule and put it up where she can see it. Is she having trouble with the homework? Maybe she feels lost with it so she puts it off. Ask her. Check it even if she says that isn't a problem. Does she need a tutor for a little while? I hope some of this helps a little. It is stressful being parents and doesn't get easier as our children age. Remember, you will make mistakes and so will your kids.
C. L.