Getting Kids Out of My Bed

I am trying my best to get my son out of my bed. I am a single mother and it is really not much of a problem but I think he needs to grow up. I am gradually doing this. I let him sleep with me on the weekends and not on the weekdays. Eventually, I will make him sleep in his bed all the time.

Get out the bed once they are asleep and go sleep with your husband in your son's room. If it's a twin bed, go out and buy a bigger bed for you two.

It's okay for the two boys to share a bed.

You need to get counseling for your 11 year old. Something's not right with him being afraid of everything and relegating his mother to the foot of the bed. He's old enough to know better.

Every single mom on here who tells moms that their kids will eventually get out of their parent's bed should read your post here...

Dawn

Maybe try putting a mattress on your floor for them. They will still be close to you so they aren't scared, but you and your husband get your bed back. Or have the kids sleep together in one of their beds so they aren't alone.

I agree with Dawn, let your boys sleep in your bed and you join your husband in your sons bed. After 2 nights, tell them to start sleeping together in your sons room.. Explain they have been doing that anyway, so go to their own room..

The 11 year old sounds like he has some sort of anxiety problem.. He needs to be seen my a professional to figure out what is going on.

How would he feel if his friends knew he slept with his parents/mother?
I would just ask him.. Not to threaten him, but to bring it to his attention, if he would be embarrassed, it means he knows he should be in his own room.

Personally, I would be walking them back to their rooms or having my husband walk them back. I would not give up my bed. I would then place a lock n my bedroom door and keep it locked at all time.

I am sending you strength.

I had this problem with my son, he had anxiety issues. We took him to a therapist and they had slowly transition him back to his own room, first we had him sleep on our floor for a couple of days, then in the hall right outside our door, (with our door open) then a little further down the hall, closer to his room, then his floor and finally to his bed. Dont feel bad, my son is now 11 and still afraid of everything. He has to be able to see his sister when he goes to bed so they sleep across the hall from each other with their beds facing their doors so they can see each other when they go to sleep.

Got to be hard ball at this point and suffer all the aspects of it . May take a week or two, but once you start, may not want to go back or bow out.

Have you tried the no sleep solution books ? Start out on the floor in their room and work your way out the hall way over days ? The books seem to always suggest working from the kids room out not from your room out.

I love my kids but there is no way they will spend any nights in bed with hubby and me. I know it may sound harsh to some of you mom's out there but honestly I view my role as a mom as one who fascilitates their independence and personal inner strength.

Hubby and I would make an announcement to both of the kids that on this day and date there will be no more sleeping in our bed every night. I would set that conversation a few days out so that they can get accustomed to the idea and talk about their feelings.

When that day arrives I would have already let them know that I will spend 30 minutes in the room with them while they fell asleep and after that thirty minutes they would be just fine with you and hubby together in your room. If they come to your room in the middle of the night, they get escourted back to their room and bed. Everytime.

It will be tough but you must be tougher. They should learn how to sleep alone. They won't always be children and it may be a time before the settle down and get married. It would be just a healthy thing for them to be comfortable and confident sleeping alone.

Yes they may cry and end yell and holler but crying isn't the end of the world. We all must shed some tears in this life and learn how to handle tough situations because life can be tough.

I think your 11 year old may need to be encouraged to face his fears instead of you giving into his fear. Being cautious is prudent but being fearful of everything isn't healthy. Get your child healthy especially since one day he may be a father and husband.

Also, try reading The No Cry Sleep Solution. I know there is a toddler version bc I have it. I didn't read all the way through it, but from what I read, the tools in there would work for an older child just as well. Don't feel bad or worry, some kids just need that extra security. My brother & I slept on pallets on my parents bedroom floor for years!! Then we slept in the same room after that, but my parents still let us sleep on their floor every Friday night. When we went through puberty we quit wanting to do that, and slept in our own rooms, no problem! ;D

When I was scared in my room as a kid, my dad bought me a flashlight. It worked better than a nightlight, because I could shine it around and make the shadows change. (sometimes, the night light makes things worse... My DD can't sleep with one because the ceiling fan makes scary shadows. lol)

I agree with the posters who say to make it a gradual move, of getting both boys into their own room. They can still share the bed in there.

Good luck with getting your bed back!

its time for everyone to have their own rooms again. or if the 11 year old is afraid then put bunk beds in one of the rooms and put him and the 4 yr old in it. you need to be in your own bed with your husband. your going to have to have a conversation with your kids and say starting "x" night your going into your own room and then stick with it. might be tough but after a night or two they will get it and put a gate across your door so that you hear them when they try to come in the room.

We are on night 3 of kids out of our bed. We got the kids new big beds over spring break. We put the in the same room with each other. When it's bed time, my husband lays with one kid and I lay with the other. The next evening we switch. They sleep with a lamp on in their room and we plugged in the baby monitors and let them hear us so they would know we could hear them in the night. The first night they both woke up to use the restroom and we went back to their bed with them. We keep telling them how proud we are of them. The first night was hard, but it's getting easier. Good luck I was there just days ago.

do what nanny 911 would do. or give the kids your bedroom and take one of theirs.