Getting My Son to Stay in His Bed

Updated on April 21, 2008
D.S. asks from Beaverton, OR
14 answers

My son has started to come and get into bed with us everynight about 2am. How do I stop this I keep taking him back to his bed then I will lay on the floor until he is asleep and sure enough 15min later here he comes again. I did this until 5:30am this morning by that time I was so tired I gave up and let him sleep with us. (I should have kept going as I don't sleep worth beans when he is in with us.) And Ideas would be great this has been going on for over a month and I could really use some sleep!! Thanks

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I wouldn't stay until he falls asleep. I would tuck him in and leave. He probably keeps coming back because he thinks you are asleep in his floor, and he wakes to find you gone.

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M.C.

answers from Seattle on

We locked our daughter in her room until she got the hint not to come out. (we put those door knob covers on) Her room is close enough to where we could here her no problem if something went wrong. And No this is not mean to do (it the same as beinglocked down when they are in the crib) Our kids room is completely childproof though...if yours isn't you can either make it or I wouldn't suggest doing this.

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W.L.

answers from Seattle on

I wish I had advice for you,if I did it would me my 4 and a half year old wouldn't still be climbing into my bed too. I won't lock him in his room, I would feel guilty about that (I know that's MY issue). My husband doesn't want to lock him out of our room, so I don't know what to do either. It's quite frustrating and makes for a rough night some nights. We've tried everything, so I will be interested to see what responses you get. The sleeping bag idea is great, but i'm afraid i'd step on him in the middle of the night. I am 13 weeks pregnant and have to go to the bathroom alot, but that's a thought I may have to try that one. I hope you get good advice so I can too.....
W.

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A.C.

answers from Seattle on

Are you open to having him make a pallet on the floor? Maybe he could do that vs sleeping in the bed. I have a friend that had to do that.
I co-sleep with my son but we sleep comfortably.
You probably won't be able to make him stay in bed. Something is waking him up at that time.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

Dayla,

Have you thought of putting a sleeping bag down in your room for him to crawl into if he feels he needs to be near you guys? Or maybe a mattress on the floor? That way he's close to you, but not in bed making it hard for you to sleep.

At 2 1/2 I don't know how verbal he is, but maybe he could tell you why he wants to sleep with you? It may take an interesting like of questioning to get it out of him, but it might be worth a try. It could be as simple as he's having bad dreams.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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T.F.

answers from Eugene on

My son got sick a few weeks ago for about a week. We babied him because he just wasn't feeling all that great (103.0+ temps). So, he would sleep with me and my husband would sleep either in bed with us or on the couch. Well, my son would feel better, but still came to our bed at night. At first I was ok with it, then it kept happening everynight- I would just take him back to his bed and tell him to go back to sleep in his bed and I will see him in the morning. And I would go back to my bed. Just stick to your guns and be consistent on sending him back to bed and you going back to your bed. About a week of that - and he was sleeping in his bed through the night again. Now, there was a reason why my son was coming to us at night. Do you know why your son is coming to you in the middle of the night? Does he seem scared, crying, sore (growing pains), sick? I would ask him why he is coming to you? There's got to be a reason why. They are smarter than you think they are - Mine impresses me more and more everyday. If you ask - he will tell you. Good luck. I hope this helps.

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B.M.

answers from Portland on

HI Dayla,
I would recommond using a gate on his room at night. It may seem super hard to do at first, but for us, this worked well. My daughter never would come to sleep with us, but having autism, she is up for hours on in at nights for long spells at a time and using this gate helped her to know that she needed to stay in her room, but that we were always right there to re-assure her that we were always here. Hope you find a solution. That can be hard. I know!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

We lock our door at night to keep out little intruders (that doesn't stop them from banging on the door, though).

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M.D.

answers from Seattle on

You got to stick to your gones. He has learnd u will give in if he keeps at it. It may meen a few ruff night. Try to do it when hubby is around the next day and u can get a nap. My now seven year old used to do this. Just put him in his bed and leave. Let him know u are jsut in the next room. When he comes in again do it again. Let him know u are tierd to and it si time to sleep. Keep doign this with littel contact and talking. I wouldn't lay by his bed he is waking up thinking u are going to be there. He needs to go to sleep on his own. Start moving yourself away farther and farther each time tell u can jsut leave the room if he has a hard time at first. I takes a few days new habbit so be pationt and hold strong.

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M.T.

answers from Spokane on

Sounds to me as if you took your son out of the crib too early. Seems these days that young people want the kids out of a crib much earlier than we used to take them out. (I am a 68 yr old grandmother of 9!) You'll just have to keep taking him back to his bed and explain that he sleeps there and mom and dad sleep in their beds..............

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J.L.

answers from Medford on

Hello,
This is a tough one. We had this problem with our second son. The solution for us might sound harsh but it worked. We put a baby gate in the door way of his room. So when he woke up he couldn't leave his room. He would cry for us and we would just tell him to go back to his bed. For the first few nights he would cry himself back to sleep on the floor in front of the gate but, he by the third day or so he figured it out and would climb back into bed. It took about a week and then the gate went away. Sometimes it takes tough love to break habits. It worked out good for us. Good luck with it!

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

It takes about two weeks of both parents being very firm saying 'go back to your own bed!'

J.-mama to seven

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

You could try co-sleeping. Sounds like you're not against the idea, other than he wakes you up. Maybe you could put his bed in your room next to your bed. He won't want to stay there forever, he will want to be in his own room someday and he'll ask to have his own room back.

It's a totally different approach than locking your kid in their room. And gives your baby a totally different emotional response.

Maybe you can have a bed in your room and his, put him in his bed and when he feels like he needs to be near you, he has another bed by you.

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