Gift from Baby to Older Sibling

We did it... we had my older son pick a stuffed animal for his new sister and had a gift ready for him when he first visisted her at the hospital. My thinking was that she would be the one getting so many gifts I wanted him to get something special. He was 5 at the time, and was so happy to get a present he never questioned where it came from.

I swear I am not mocking you but this has always made me wonder how it works. Clearly the new baby can't talk or write, but the note is supposed to make the older sib feel loved by the younger sib. Clearly the baby doesn't have a source of income so how is a gift supposed to do the same?

Wouldn't it be better to admit the words from the new baby are yours, that the gift is from you because you want them to understand they are still sooo very important to you? After all the older child is more concerned as to how you feel about them than how this screaming ball of joy feels.

If someone could explain the logic I would be sooooo happy, please?

M. that is the problem I have with my kids, they question everything. I am lucky I wasn't raked over the coals for the whole Santa/Tooth Fairy deception. :-/

What we did when we had our youngest since we knew there would be some jealousy with older brother we got a really cute white tiger chair that would go in our room. Cause the baby was going to be in our room and his stuff would be in there we wanted the oldest to have somethign in there that was just his. We took it to the hospital and gave it to him from us when he came to visit the baby the first time. The was 3 1/2 at the time. He loved it. 9 years later we still have the chair and he remembers getting it. They use it now as a reading chair in the living room but it was very specail.

Good luck and God Bless!

I wrapped up a couple things for my older child to open when we brought the baby home from the hospital. I too thought it was weird to say they were gifts from the baby. The baby obviously did not pick out the gifts! I said they were big sister gifts, from mommy and daddy, to congraulate her on becoming a big sister. One was a book which I inscribed to commemorate the occasion.

I've also heard of moms putting together a "nursing basket" for the older child. It's a basket full of new things that you break out when you need to nurse the baby. Because the older one will inevitably decide that's the exact moment they suddenly need your attention (have to go potty, needs juice, snack etc). Then you break out the basket of new things and they get to play with that and learn that there are times they will have to occupy themself so you can tend to baby. I found out about this one after the fact and if I have another I will combine the two concepts next time.

We did what GrammaRocks said...something she had been wanting for a while.
And of course she had a new 'Big Sister' shirt to wear to meet her brother.
Those are some of the most precious memories I have. :)

Lol, Jo. :)
I don't know how it is supposed to make sense...especially when your child is older and understands exactly all you just mentioned. But she was happy to get a new toy...

Yes, something the older child has been wanting is a good gift. It helps the child to see the new sibling as someone who cares about him. We've made notes form the baby, thanking the older siblings for being their new brother or sister.

Jo and M. ~ the older kids don't really think through the logistics of the note-writing and gift, they appreciate that the baby "knew" what they'd like, and it's a good first step in easing resentment and hopefully helping the older ones to welcome the new baby into their lives and family.

I haven't ever heard of that, but that gave me an idea. Maybe instead of before the birth, have it after. If they do a good job taking care of the baby and don't feel jealous, then you could give them a gift.

Our son was 7 when baby was born in January. He is a HUGE Lego fan so when we brought the baby home, we gave him a new Lego set and told him that he got it because he is a great big brother and we know the baby will be getting things from visitors and we didn't want him to feel left out. He was old enogh to understand and actually was very appreciative. The great thing was that when visitors came, they all brought a little somehting for the older one. He was very excited.

I think the gift from the baby is more for younger children. My son was 3.5 when his sister was born, and even now at almost 5 he thinks that she brought him all his trains.

Older kids will probably realize that the gift really didn't come from baby, it came from you. But I think it's still worth doing since it shows that you were thinking about them too in the midst of all the excitement of the new baby's arrival.

When my daughter was born, she got her older brother (almost 3) a tool box with a lock and key.. There were no questions on "how" she got him a gift likely because we have been to a few birthday parties and he gives gifts that he did not pick out..

Yes, the baby itself! My daughter was 5.5 when her sister was born. She took that baby and I swear I didn't get to see her until she was 2!

I had my daughter (3 at the time) build a bear for her new baby brother before he was born. When she came to meet him at the hospital she brought the bear to give him. To her surprise he had one for her too :) She still (now 5) knows which bear she gave him and vice verse.

Talking about bribery :) I love it, it has worked with my daughter. Big sister party and gift exchange at the hospital from the baby to big sister and to a baby brother from a big sister something my daughter has picked out. Excellent idea, my daughter sill talks about the first gift from a baby brother. Just make sure it's something she would really like and will be able to save. Congratulations!!!!

my daughter never questioned how the baby got her the gift, literally. But had she asked, I had a longstanding dialogue with her about how the baby and mommy can communicate needs, like "the baby is hungry, mommy needs to eat" or even the ultrasound photo, the baby looked like it was waving hello. So maybe you can explain something along those lines, you and the baby communicate without words, etc... good luck. Heads up, my daughter kept a count of how many gifts the baby received versus how many she received as a big sister. We of course explained (and showed pictures) of how she'd received gifts before she was born too.