Girl Throwing Sand at My Son in the Park

Not only do I say something to a child who M. do something that will harm my daugter, I tell kids "that's not ok" anytime I see them about to inflict harm on any child! I do it respectfully, the same that I would want someone to say to my child if she were about to throw sand in another child's face and I wasn't there to stop her!

The first time I move my kid as you did, the second I firmly but friendly say "thats not nice", usually saying that works for me I haven't had any other incidents with the kids will stop and parents don't complain.

I would have told her something in a firm voice, like "You dont throw sand at anyone. Its not nice. Where's your Mommy at?"

I second AG, I would have definitely said something in a stern voice and brought her to her mother.. I could really care less if her mother was offended, you don't hurt my child without me saying something. It is your job to protect him and have every right to do what is necessary so that he is protected.

I agree with the other comments; you absolutely can and should say something to the other child/discipline her. Especially if the bad behavior is hurting another child. I'd say something if both kids weren't my own!
It takes a village, right?

I think it is fine to say in a calm nice voice that that is not a nice thing to do, and that she should not throw the sand. Speak in a tone that would be acceptable to you if someone was telling your child that something he did was not nice. Therefore if the parent hears you they would sympathize with you and continue the repremand with their child (as you would do if it was your child and did not see the coduct).

If a kid is throwing sand in your kid's face, and their parent/caregiver has missed this happening several times, it definitely needs to be pointed out. I can't tell you how many moms at the playgrounds just sit back on the benches and chat with other moms or otherwise don't pay attention while their little undisciplined brats hog the swings, throw sand at other kids or do other things that are inappropriate. Kids are kids, and will do things like that, but we (as parents, caregivers) need to guide them as to the appropriate behavior in all situations - it's never ok to hurt anyone on purpose! I can tell you if my now 14 month old turns into a 3 year old kid who throws sand in other kids eyes she will be told that it is not ok, to apologize to the poor kid who she just blinded temporarily and I will apologize to the mom for my child's behavior, in addition to taking my kid home so she knows that behavior in the park is unacceptable. In turn, I would expect the same of other moms (I know I won't always get it, but if we always hold the bar for behavior towards others so low...). I'm not religious at all, but do unto others is a really great way of looking at it.

It's common. That's why you've got to be right with them in the play ground because kids under 4-5 yrs old do not play well together. When anyone started throwing sand or mulch, I'd be right there and tell them we don't throw sand because it'll get in your eyes and it hurts. If another child keeps it up I ask where their mother is and tell them to go get her. I've had to yell on a few occasions but kids that size generally are intimidated by your size and will back down.

You absolutely have the right to say something. It's good for everyone involved if you do. I simply would just get down to the little girls level and say something like "no, no, no that hurts - ow". It's also a teaching moment for your son. I work on the playground at the elem. school so I'm disciplining kids all day long, but I also happen to be labeled by the kids as the 'nice one' haha, but it's completely acceptable to say something when the other childs parent isn't readily available to step in.

I would definitely tell the little girl in a firm voice not to throw sand. It is the age that she's in...they throw sand and they are testing their boundaries. But they still need to learn that throwing things at people is not okay. If it continued again, I would ask the little girl to point out her Mommy to me. Then I would tell the Mom what happened. I wouldn't accuse her of not keeping a close eye on her kid or be judgemental, but I would let her know that her daughter threw sand at your son for no reason X amount of times and that you already verbally told her daughter not to do it. At your sons age, I would just remove him from the girl to keep him out of danger.

I am a mother of 2, a boy age 6 and a girl age 4. It is impossible for me to see everything they do when we are in public places like the park. They are both running in different directions all the time. I do my best to keep a close eye on them, but I do miss some things. So I do appreciate when a parent comes and tells me in a respectful way if my kid is misbehaving so I can reprimand them myself. I appreciate if they firmly but respectfully reprimand my child on the spot if I am not nearby.

I generally try and not step in with minor things, but if other kids harm my child and the other parent doesn't step in to reprimand, I do it myself. I would probably have sternly told the little girl how it wasn't very nice and she hurt your child. I would then have just taken my child away to comfort/take care of him and then probably kept him away from her. She's not a bad little girl, just probably having a bad day that morning...happens to them all.

-M

I do warn a child, all the way into his teens, not to hurt other children. I will also comfort a child that's been hurt. It's possible to do both calmy and respectfully, and that tends to carry authority.

If 'the other mom' were to get upset with me, I would simply thank her for coming over to direct her child's behavior, and step back. It wouldn't be too likely to get any uglier than that, but I've never even had that much of a confrontation. If we fear too much what other people 'might' think or do, it can get in the way of common sense.

Some parents dont seem to care about discipline. I think the other mom should of firmly told her daughter she can't do that after she did it the first time. I would of made her apolize to your son. The when she did it the second time I would of put her in time out.

Of course I would look towards her parent give the girl's mother the first opportunity to take some action, but if the mother was off and completely not paying attention, I would have firmly reprimanded the offending child, purposely loud enough that her mother would hear me. Hopefully, that would be all it takes, and her mother would be either fed up with her daughter's behavior and choose remove her, or embarrassed or upset enough to leave with her child. I would stay there, and stay near my child, and be extremely watchful if the girl comes around again. But I would not leave the play area. Your son should not have to leave because someone else is behaving badly.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a child a verbal direction and/or gentle correction.

I've done the same thing many times such as in stores and when I was at the park with my kids and my grandson. I get annoyed when I am in a store and kids are running around screaming. I have a temporary mobility problem and I am afraid I will get knocked down, so I do tell kids to stop and be by their parents.

All you need to say is, "You M. not throw sand, please stop or go stand by your mom/dad." If the parent has issues with that, then he/she needs to do a better job watching his/her child.

Since your little one is only 19 months and is just learning to defend himself, you are well within your rights to tell someone else's child not to hurt him/throw sand at him/hit him, etc. Especially when there is physical pain involved! If the parents get mad, that's their problem, they should be watching their kids. And of course, some kids are like that, and your son is going to have to learn how to deal with them, but your first priority is him so you have to do what you have to do.

Yes, say something! If the mom isn't near and even if she is, I always say---- Stop that. That is not ok! Its not nice to throw sand, throwing sand hurts! If this happened again, I would go confront the mom and say-can you please watch your child more closely?? She is throwing sand at my baby and it got in his eyes. It is always ok to protect your child in ANY circumstance. Who cares if the mom doesn't like it or doesn't want you talking to her child-- if she was sa good parent, she would be watching and discipline immediately if something occured. Good luck next time! Get your mama bear out and use it!

m

Hello, The little girl is actually at the age where they do throw sand. However, that doesn't make it okay. If you are the adult who is near, I don't see why you couldn't say something like, "It's not okay to throw sand." or "When you throw sand in my son's face it hurts his eye. Please don't do it again." Her mom was dropping the ball by not watching her child better.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.

My thoughts are that you could be opening up a can of worms by disciplining a child that is not yours. Pull your son far away from the girl and go to her mother and inform her that her child is throwing sand at your child.

As this is something that is potentially quite harmful for your son, I think it is acceptable for you to do either OR both of the following:

1. Immediately tell the girl in a friendly but firm tone that throwing sand is a no-no. Three year olds have a tremendous ego and to be reprimanded by a stranger is a big deal. She M. not listen to her mother but from the general public? Oh yeah.

2. Approach her mother and let her know that her daughter is still throwing sand at your son and that behavior is potentially dangerous.