Reprimand or Not?

Its normal, but tell him no sternly. All kids do it. He is a baby still and learning to play nice with others. Be near him as he is so young so when it happens you can take care of it. He will catch on. : )

Kids do something called parallel play until they are about 4 or 5 years old. They play next to each other rather than play cooperatively with each other. With young kids, you can't really expect them to run off and play nicely. You need to be with them and teach them how. They will throw mulch and sand and bang each other with sand buckets and shovels and pull hair. Older or bigger kids will grab from younger smaller kids. If you are there, you can keep sand out of their eyes and make sure everyone plays nice. Correcting and apologizing as incidents occur is the way to go.

I only reprimanded what I witnessed. I never force my child to apologize - they need to come into their own feelings of sorry, remorse, regret, etc. and not be taught or forced to "lie" or to just "say it" without feeling it or meaning it. When my child was that age if I did witness something he did, but he didn't feel "sorry" for it at the time, I would apologize for my childs actions that weren't appropriate. I ran a home daycare and worked in a church day care for several years and believe me kids "make up stuff" daily... they would say...so and so...did such and such...and I was right there and it just didn't happen...or it might so happen the child they were blaming it on wasn't even there that day?? Kids are funny, everything is a life experience at that age!

.

Oh,if it were my kid, they would be reprimanded on the spot.

Yes, it's normal for kids to act out (at that age, they're still having a hard time communicating), but it's also completely appropriate to discipline on the spot in whatever way is most effective and appropriate.

I hate taking my kids to the play area at Castleton because there's always that one kid who's a terror, and Mom's usually on her cell phone oblivious to being the bully. If our children were to act that way, we'd make them apologize to both the child and the parent and remove them from the play area immediately (if severe) or at the next infraction (if not so serious).

I'd almost recommend getting him involved in preschool, Mommy's day out or something where he has to interact more without you there, so he understands what other authority figures consider appropriate behavior.

My daughter's favorite playmate in day care (both recently turned 2) has a biting problem. She doesn't say a lot of words, so biting is her chosen path of frustration. Our daughter's been on the receiving end at least 3 times. The parents are very good at reprimanding when they learn about it both in school and at home and are working on improving it or their daughter will be removed from the school.

Good luck.

Its hard to exactly "punish" him at this age. You definately must let him know that it's unacceptable, sternly telling him no (hit,pinch etc) Kids are still learning how to interact with other kids at this age, especially kids they dont know. So be consistent, and keep a very watchful eye on him. Its normal behavior, as long as he's not constantly acting agressive towrds other kids. But always address the behavior, and try telling him and showing him "gentle touch" only. And let him know you don't like that behavior. I've been on both ends of this, and I always apologize and remove my son for a minute or two explaining that we dont hurt others. If he's at the receiving end, I'm always understanding as long as the mom is actually paying attention and doesnt just ignore it. kids will be kids!

It's normal. Really. At this age our kids are learning about themselves, their environment and those around them. Sometimes, when they get frustrated... or for seemingly no reason at all...they haul off an hit someone, or push someone etc....

Be firm. Tell him these things are NOT ok. I use terms like "we use gentle hands...we do NOT hit other people." Stuff like that. When my daughter hit age 2...that's when I started with the consequences. I felt we had enough conversations about this that she understood what it was she did wrong. She went through a phase for about 6-8 months where she would push kids... a lot. So...we would go to a playground... when we got there, I would get down on her level, look her in the eye and tell her "we do not push other kids. If you push someone, we will leave and you won't be able to play here today." Sometimes we got to stay for 30 minutes, sometimes we got to stay for 5. But, I followed through with what I said I was going to do ... and she got it. We haven't had any issues for several months now.

I say it's part of being a kid, but part of pushing limits and learning what is right and wrong. They are learning cause and affect. It's a great time right there to do a little punishing/repermanding. I personally would have made my child say he was sorry and had him sit by me for two minutes for a time out. Then allowed him to go back to playing.
They are still working on verbalizing and communicating and sometimes with changes or even witout they start hurting other kids, not intentially but they do. Some other children could have done this to him when you were not looking and even though it didn't bother your son enough to make him come tell you, and he has decided to do it to someone else. That child got away with it why shouldn't he?
Definitely think some sort of punishment should take place. Best of luck!

First of all, this is totally normal--- almost all kids hit, pinch, bite, whatever it takes to get what they want until they're taught different. Watch carefully, park time isn't break time for mom(though many moms think so---their kids are the wild ones). Act swiftly when you see him act up,tell him simply "no hitting, soft hands,no teeth" or whatever is appropriate, and most importantly---comfort the OTHER kid. Really lay it on thick. This comes as a total shock to your child, and he sees the victim getting all the love and attention, not him. You are teaching him 2 things at once, how to behave and how to feel empathy for others.This is often overlooked in our desire to make them behave, and it's just as important. Good luck, and don't feel like the Lone Ranger. We've all been there.

I feel my daughter's daycare handles situations like this very well. From very early on, the kids are taught not to hit/bit/pinch/poke/push/etc. Lets say if John hit Sally, we teach Sally to tell John "I don't like it when you hit me!" and John must tell Sally that he is sorry. John would also probably be expected to sit out of playing for a few minutes.

If your son hurts another child, firmly tell him that we do not do X to our friends. It hurts, etc. And have him appologize. Have him sit out of playing for a minute or two. If you stay consistent, he will eventually understand that he can't play if he isn't nice!

It may take a while, he is young. My daughter is in a preschool class of 3 - 5 year olds, and they still aren't all angels! :)

Punishment comes at all levels depending on the age of the child. I strong no to a 2 year old may work vs doing this with a 13 year old. If you do not deal with the event immediately after it has happened your child will not understand why you are scolding her. So time is important. Little ones memories are very short term. A stern no may work with this age. But you know your child best.

Well he is only 21 months. He will pinch bite kick hit ect ect ect for a few years. Yes it is ok to reprimand and start taking away toys/privlidges for such behavior. Teach him self defense of words and not physical violence like that. Tell him when someones bothering him to say No not pinch. You will have many years to deal with this as well, they dont always remember that rule. Mine still beat on each other daily with toys/sticks/rocks of course when mommy isnt watching too closely. Kids are mean but he is probably defending himself, his way of saying "your bothering me"

Hi J.,

I think you need to reprimand (time out or whatever) in the moment. After you get home, it is too late. You need to let this specific incident go, but you can tell your child as best you can in words he can understand that these behaviors are not okay. That being said, they are completely normal! Toddlers sometimes display these behaviors just to see what will happen. Sometimes they aren't mean in intent. Regardless, it is our job as parents to watch our children closely and intervene or correct as needed.
You need to teach your son how to positively interact with other children at this age--he is too young and too impulsive to learn or know how to appropriately play with other children. I would recommend you read the books by Louise Bates Ames. She has one for every year of your child through age fourteen. I'm currently finishing "Your Two-Year-Old" and am continuing to learn about my sometimes aggressive, sometimes loving little boy. The books are slightly outdated being written in the 80s and 90s, but the majority of the content is really good.
Good luck and God bless.
Julia

Your son is a toddler and has a lot of growing and maturing ahead of him. He doesn't really understand that pinching and ear pulling hurts the other fella. If my son had done that I would speak for him & apologize. Then I would be extra vigilant to prevent him from doing it again.

If my son had a 21 month old pinch him, I'd tell him "Toddies do that. They forget to use their words. Tell him you don't like it and move out of the way."

It wouldn't be a big deal to me because it's a very developmental level stage most kids go through.