Lots of men get that way once they have kids.
My friend has a husband that wanted more kids. They have 1 kid. She flat out said NO... because YOU DO NOT DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR CHILD OR ME... AND YOU RATHER SPEND ALL YOUR TIME GOLFING AND GOING OUT WITH THE BOYS. I work too, and I have had enough. Our child is growing up, WITHOUT you. In sight.
Men, will not improve, unless they can self-reflect or they feel threatened their wife will leave them. Even at that, maybe they don't change.
Your Husband, lives in the past.
He is continuing the BAD habits of his family, of which he also complains about.
He is, stuck in time and stuck in one place in history.
He has not, progressed.
He cannot think on his own and try to be an individual DESPITE his family's PAST problems.
So... he is STUCK in his own "Pot-Hole" of life.
Get counseling.
For you or him or both.
He is like a bad TV rerun.
Tell him "Do you like... being a rerun? If not, then change your perspective... and grow-up."
You are not his Mommy.
He acts like a child.
Not a Man.
LET THE TRASH PILE UP.
Really.
Until he does it.
Let it pile up... and let him see, that you are NOT picking up after him.
Do not do his laundry.
Go on strike.
Really.
Cook for you and your kids.
He can eat by himself.
Alone.