Going Poopy in the Potty, HELP!!!

Have you noticed WHEN she goes? After eating, mid morning, mid afternoon? Does she crouch? Try to foresee when she's getting ready to do it, and rush her to the potty. GOOD LUCK

My daughter had similar issues with this and for her it was about privacy. She had no problem going pee in front of us or telling us she needed to go, but for some reason she did not want to tell us she needed to go poopy, and still doesn't. What worked for us was to let her go to the bathroom by herself and close the door....she just yells "i'm done" and we go in to wipe. I told her when she needed to go poopy she did not have to tell me to just go and call me when she was done. If I asked if she needed to she would hold it until I wasn't paying attention.

My middle son was literally impossible to potty train. I wondered for a time if he would ever officially be potty trained especially for his poops.

The oddest thing worked. I drew on a piece of paper brown 'clouds'. Every time he went in the toilet, he got to color the cloud in. At the end of the clouds was an equal sign and a picture of a toy he wanted (cheap one). I increased the number of clouds each time he acheived his goal until it was clear we did not need them any more. At first I drew only like three clouds then six, then 12. I think at twelve we were done.

I don't know why this worked vs candy, etc.... He is a visual learner so probably seeing his success was important.

Good luck...I certainly don't envy your predicament!

Pooping in the potty is the last skill learned in toilet training. I suggest her body is still not mature enough to do this or that you're now in a power struggle with her without realizing it. If her body is not ready to retain the poop until she's on the toilet she can't wait to poop in the potty. At this age there are only a couple of things she has control of and that is what she puts in her mouth and when she uses the toilet.

I suggest that you stop trying to get her to poop in the toilet. Give back the power to her. Tell her you trust that she'll use the toilet when she and her body are ready to do so and then don't pay any attention to when she poops in her diaper and don't talk about pooping at all. Just wait and see for a few weeks and see what happens.

If she still hasn't started pooping in the toilet you could talk with her pediatrician. She could have a medical condition that affects her inability to hold the poop in.

Been there. We finally figured out that it hurt her going poop. Solution was that we told her sometimes its hurts other people too and some OJ. Also, if she poopped in her underwear, it went in the trash. That was the worst as she loved her mermaid underwear. Now she is the big kid in the playgroup and has a blast teaching the others how to use the potty.

Maybe she is not physically mature for that yet. Some kids are just late bloomers.

Poop was the first thing that my kids did in the potty. Maybe having her pick the reward she wants and having her work towards it might work.

This may not be something your interested in doing but I wonder what she would do if you had her wandering around without underwear - I don't think she would just poop as she walked around she would probably "set up shop" somewhere to do the duty and she's old enough to understand the best place would be the potty. It's just a thought. My daughter had a little trouble as well - the doctors and teachers said it is b/c when they poop they feel like part of themselves is going in the toilet and it freaks them out. I would also watch the signs so you can lead her to the bathroom when it is time. My daughter would get quiet and find an out of main area/viewing and just stand there - if you see her doing her thing then maybe grab her and head for the toilet. I think the other thing they said to do was when they do mess their pants take the mess dump it in the toilet (whatever you can get to go in) and flush the toilet and make sure she is there watching - at least it lets her see where it is supposed to go each time so if she does have issues with it then that might help. Finally there are some kids that just don't care - they know where it is supposed to go, they are not freaked out by the idea of pooping, they just don't want to bother with it and that may be where the bribe comes in. I remember using candy but the thing my kids liked the most was the big deal we made about it when they went in the toilet - we clapped, cheered and said how they were such a big kid now - like it was some sort of graduation :) That still works with my kids now - when we give a chore and they complete it it is about how grown up they are being . . . sorry fro the rambling just trying to throw as much as I can think out there :)

hey janelle,
my 3 yo son was the same way. he was pee trained when he was 2.5 but for about 8 months, would only poop in his underwear. i tried everything as well. i finally just put pull ups on him so i wouldn't have to clean up the poop mess every time. he would still pee in the potty. after about a month of me not pushing him, just letting it go, he came up to me at 5am and said "mama i pooped in the potty" and sure enough he did! people kept telling me to let it go, you cannot force him to poop in the potty, he will do it on his own time. and he did. so try to let it go. i know, easier said than done. but pooping is one thing they CAN control and will. she will go on her own time. best of luck!

From where I am- same situation- good luck.

My daughter did great for a week- got 4 quarters from Grandma each time & small gift. Did great for a week & pooped in her panties last night.

I think my child will be asking for $$$ for pooping the potty when she is 20 yr.

I have done all the things you have too. Even bought a hand held video game (tetris) that she only plays with when she is on the potty.

You sound just like me. My 3 1/2 yr old is the SAME WAY! However, he pooped in the potty today because I offered him a tootsie pop for doing the duty. It worked like a charm! I thought I had tried just about everything under the sun to get him to go poop in the potty, and low and behold a tootsie pop did the trick. I wanted to do cartwheels across the room I was so excited! Now he says he would like a ring pop next time he goes poop in the potty.

Maybe give the lollipop thing a shot! Good luck!

I had a terrible time getting my daughter to go #2 in the potty and here is what worked for me. #1) - I found out from her that she was "afraid of the plop", so I made a little nest of toilet paper on the water when she had to go - to "cushion the landing" so to speak and insure that there wouldn't be a "plop". #2) I had bribed her with everything under the sun that she loved to no avail. We had just finished babysitting a co-workers Betta fish while he was on vacation. When he picked the fish up - she was devastated, and we always had to visit and admire the fish in the store. So - one day I bribed her with a Betta fish - that if she went every day for 7 days in the potty - she could get the fish of her choice. She started going #2 on the nest ASAP that day - and hasn't stopped since. Interestingly enough - Dr. Phil recently had an episode where someone asked the same question. They had been bribing their son with a toy truck on the shelf in the bathroom. Dr. Phil asked if he had any trucks already - and the answer was yes. Dr. Phil said "there is the problem - he doesn't care about that truck because he already has others - you have "up the ante" and find his "price" in the form of something (thing or experience) that he would covet that he doesn't already have a similar one of. I was so thrilled that he didn't say "don't pay them to poo on the potty - bla blah blah - and that what he said is what I had already figured out 2 years prior and it worked like a charm! Good luck!

J.? Why are you writing my post!?! My DD was born in Feb and is also trained...except for the "big P" word!!! She ABSOLUETLY will NOT do it. Bribes? we got no stinkn' bribes around here!!! There is no amount of candy, stickers, TRIPS TO THE ZOO, that could possibly compete with the big P.....uggggg! I am just as irked as you....

Just know...you are not alone!!! :)

have you tried putting a portable dvd player while she needs to poop. this worked for my son. the only thing that worked.

You didn't mention if you were using a potty chair or a potty seat for the toilet. I ask this because when my daughter (2 1/2 yrs) was training only a couple of months ago she also had an issue w/ the poop, she got the pee thing immediately and then we had a problem w/ the poop, luckily it only lasted a week. We were using the potty seat for the big toilet, and she pooped once and the water splashed up and scared her, after that she wouldn't poop in the "big" potty. I borrowed a potty chair from a friend the next day, it took a little coaxing, but she went. I had to reassure her there was no water and it wouldn't splash. She did great! I did read online before hand that there is usually a "scare" factor, it may be the water, it may be some constipation where the poop hurts, therefore they are too scared to go in the potty. My daughter is a great communicator, and I was able to get her to tell my why she was scared and told her that it happens to Mommy too, it happens to everyone. She was very happy to know that! And from there it's been smooth sailing! She only needed the potty chair for a few weeks and now goes in the toilet, of course there was a bribe of Sea World, but I knew she could do it at that point, I just didn't want to clean the potty chair anymore! Lol.. Try to figure out "why" she won't go, ask her if he is scared, reassure her what she feels is OK and everyone learning feels that way. Oh, I also would sit with my daughter on the floor and hold her hand the first couple of times, it was very scary for her! I think once they understand they are not the only ones to feel a certain way, it's much easier for them to let go of fear and try new things. That goes for everything!
Good Luck!!

Good Morning J. - I just want to tell you what worked for 1 of my children (middle one). Did all the suggestions that you are given by friends but nothing worked on my daughter. Except prune juice which she hated - another story.

This is the story I made up just for her. I asked her if she liked parties. Yes she said. I told her that all the poopies we made go to a big old party to celebrate being together. I told her that the only way that they can get there is to swim through the potty pipes and at the end is a big room all decorated with (add your own thing here). They all have a party and have fun together. Now I think it is time that you let your poopie go to the party because his friends miss him down there and they are waiting for him. Do you think that you could try and send him to the party, because it is not fair for him to miss out being stuck up here? OK she said I'll try. So she sat on the potty for a while thinking about the party and as she relaxed she went poop. She was so excited, she called me in to wave him off. After wiping etc, she flushed him and said "Bye bye, have fun". She didn't have the fear of letting go of a body part after that. It worked and that was all that was important. Constipation was still an issue from time to time - hence the prune juice.
I hope that my story helps with your little one.
M. F

What is the consistency of the poop? Is it unformed, airy, mushy, really bad smelling? If it it not normal poop, I would consider that she has a problem digesting milk proteins called casein. This will cause poop accidents for years to come because they get so clogged up inside that the poop slides around the blockage and it just comes out without warning to the child. Try taking her off all milk products and giving her benefiber everyday to clear out. You don't need specialists to put their finger up her and make tests. You can narrow this down on your own. If this is not the problem then look into behavioral interventions. Good luck.

have you pooped in front of her? My daughter was scared to at grandma's, so I did a couple of times then she wanted to do it like mommy.

The pull-up idea is great and you could also make sure she is in the bathroom standing by the toilet.

We went through the same issue mine stopped after I stopped clean out his underwear and started throwing them away. I would say, "I am sooo sorry but this is messy for me to clean out" I ended up only throwing 2 pairs away. Hang in there, you are almost done :)

I had the same problem with my son. I got so tired of either cleaning his underwear or throwing them away that I agreed to allow him to use a pull up only to poop in. Since he knew when he had to go, he would tell me, then go get the pull up and put it on himself. I let him do this for a few weeks, then I gradually stopped letting him get the pull ups. I would tell remind him that he is a "big boy" and he should try to go on the potty. I pretty much put him in control and didn't force him to go on the potty. Might sound crazy to some, but I also bribed him with what we called a "Potty Party" when he was pull up free. We had a small party with a cake and a bounce house to congratulate him on becoming a "big boy".

Hope this helps!

M.