Having a 3Rd Child

I'm the mom of two and have always wanted three.....all I can say is you will NEVER regret having another child....you may regret NOT having him/her!!! Good luck!

If you want another, go for it. If you waited for the bigger house, more
money, it would never happen. IMO it always works out in the end.
Hope this helps.

I have to ask- what is most important to you (I promise I'm not being rude)? Do you go out to eat alot? Do you feel your children should not have to share a bed room? Do you have a lifestyle you *really* want to maintain? Or are you more flexible in how you live your life?

My husband and I have four kids. Our house isn't big. The boys are in one bedroom and the girls in another. We don't go out alot. We work hard to live within our means. I'm a stay-at-home mom because we agreed that my being here to raise our kids full time was more important than having new vehicles or the biggest and best toys for our kids. It was a big adjustment to go from being a newly married couple living on two incomes to being parents to four living on one income. But it was what was most important to us.

As far as being able to handle more, you would be amazed at what you can handle when you have to. And you will be amazed at how much help your 7 year old and 5 year old would be with a new baby. When our third came along I had a three year old and a 15 month old. Our third child was the most laid back of all our babies and the older kids loved to keep him entertained whild I did my chores.

I can tell you my family did not feel complete until we had our fourth child, but that was just us. It's different for everyone.
Good luck and God bless!

I am a mom of 3. I went through fertility treatment to have my first 2 and thought 2 would be it...I did not want to go through the treatment again and sign up to all that. I became pregnant with baby #3 when my 2nd was just six months old. I was nursing full time and still do not know how in the world this had happened.
I have to tell you quite honestly - my husband and I freaked out a bit for the exact reasons you have mentioned...can I handle more? can we afford this? do we have space? do we have time? All has worked out and I must say - IT WAS THE BEST THING TO EVER, EVER HAPPEN TO US!
We changed (so slightly) our expectations and outlook on life and it is true, you really don't enjoy every bit that a baby has to offer until you have had 3. Your other children are older now and you are at a good stage if you ask me. Some one recently told me, ' you can always think of good, justifying reasons not to have anymore children once you already have 2, anymore must be a decision from the heart'...I would agree!

I've got a 3.5 yr. old, an almost 6 month old, and we're contemplating another, too. This is how I feel- I have the rest of my life to acquire THINGS. But like I've seen with my 3 year old, and am finding out too quickly with my 6 month old, when the baby stuff is done with-it's gone forever. Same with all age appropriate things that they do. I was scared about managing time with another little one, and now, i can't ever imagine what I was so worried about. Kids need love, if you've got the love and desire for another one, I say go for it (sex is so much fun when you're trying to get preggers, too!) You already have a child of each sex, so no matter what, if there's not an extra bedroom, then you've already got a boy's or girls' room ready once the baby's sleeping thru the night. You know, back in the day, kids used to have to share beds. Long ago, birth control didn't exist and the human race perservered. My ex's grandma grew up in the Depression, other than cooking too little food for family meals, she was fine, lots of kids are. I say break out the sexy black unders and get to it! Another thing-when I was pregnant w/my daughter I asked a good friend(mom of 3) if she ever worried about "how can I possibly love any other person/child like my 1st" or second, for that matter and the response she gave me was wonderful. She said her MIL told her that "when you have another child, or more children, your love does not divide-it multiplies" how right she was! And BTW, Ann Landers says we don't owe our kids a free ride through college!

I have a 14 year old, a 5 year old and we just had our 3rd three months ago. It has been great! I am nursing so we have not spent that much money on the new baby. I bought the nursery furniture off of craigslist so that saved money. You can use cloth diapers to save money too. If you feel like the house is too small, then declutter. Get rid of every unneccessary item. Remember 100 years ago big families lived in very tiny houses.

Lisa

I am in the same boat. My husband and I want a third child. (We currently have a 10-year-old son and 2 1/2 year-old daughter). We are trying to save money by cutting back on spending everywhere we can, so that we'll be prepared a year from now for a new baby. It's good that you're thinking about this issue before getting pregnant -- so time is on your side.

A "small" house is relative. I come from a large family and I shared a bedroom with my two sisters while my four brothers shared a room. Children are much more flexible and accommodating than adults give them credit for. They make due with the space that they have, so I wouldn't stress out about having enough space.

Regarding time management, if your older children will be in school full time when the baby is born, it might give you a longer time to adjust to your new schedule.

All that being said, if you still feel uncomfortable about having a third child, it's best to wait until you are sure.

Hope this helps!

A.

If money is already tight, I wouldn't. Being a parent is stressful enought without having to worry about paying the bills.

I am a mom of 3 and I work full time and so does my hubby we pay almost as much in our mortgage for daycare. My house is only 950 sq ft. we manage. My living room ids the living room / playroom. I did not need to spend much to get ready for #2 or #3 I had everything already. #3 is a girl while #1 and #2 were boys so I needed clothes, I have friends that give me hand me downs and G-ma's are having way too much fun shopping for a girl so at this point she has not cost me too much more. It all matters on your priorities. I would not change a thing but I am scared about college and all the teenage costs, but I have a while to figure that out.

Personally, and I mean this!, the third put me over the edge. I was exhausted, had to quit my job because of time (and that was where I got my self-esteem), and I was so afraid I would forget him somewhere because I was so scatter-brained. However, on the plus side, he was so funny and lively as a child, and really changed our lives in a positive way. It actually sounded from your question as though you were looking for validation in not wanting another child, since you brought up your fears about being able to handle the situation, the money, and size of your house. You did not mention why you would want another child. What do YOU want?

I had the same dilemma. Back and forth for about 2 years. Last May, we decided to just go for it. And my little man in now sound asleep in his crib. I could not imagine life without him. Actually the thought of having made the other decision and kept our family at just two, chokes me up. I just love him so much. The switch from 2 to 3 kids was SO MUCH EASIER than 1 to 2.

There have been sacrifices, I'm not going to lie. We sold one of our cars. We could afford 2 cars, but why? My hubs works 2nd shift, and he carpools a few days a week. I have the car in the morning. And I'm happy to have my afternoons/evenings at home, relaxed with the kids. We dont eat out. We do, however, take out a few times a month after the kids are asleep.

Our place is smallish. But, big enough for us. I dont need formal living rooms with furniture you cant sit on. The more space you have, the more stuff you need to fill it up, and the more you have to clean! NO THANK YOU! :)

I breastfeed, so there is no cost for formula. I always have diaper coupons. What I am saying is, there is always a way to make it work. It may not be clear to you now, but everything always works out.

Like another poster said, you have your entire life to collect things. Dont look back and regret not having another baby.
God Bless you and your family.

I am a SAHM to 2 girls, 3 and almost 2. I am pg with baby boy due in sept! We weren't "trying" but also not "not" trying to get pg. There are days when I feel like I can barely handle the two I have, but on the other hand they are my life! Yours are older so it will def be easier! They will be a huge help to you and would probably love a baby brother or sister. We cut out alot of expenses like going out to dinner or buying presents for each other. (when I quit working we lost $70,000. in income and I didn't know how we would manage but we do!) Most everything now just gets spent on the kids. Of course we have our necesseties, but I went to Kohl's for maternity clothes instead of Mimi Maternity, etc. There are always ways to cut back. Unless you are truly destitute, everything always get paid, things always seem to work out. How does your husband feel about this? Are you getting older and thinking this is your last chance? I am going to be 38 when my baby boy is born and having my tubes tied. If I were younger maybe I'd go for 4, but because of my age I know 3 is my limit. Good luck with your decision. Like someone else mentioned if you have another baby, even if it's tough, you won't regret it, but if you don't have another one you could question it and regret it for the rest of your life!

2 is enought things $ only gets worse in this economy be happy with 1 boy 1 girl I am. you never no what tomorrow brings I have 1 on each and now doing it alone as a widow its so hard big kid issues mine ar 18 and 15 now.
sorry i got to say quite while your ahead collges is very expensive ect

In one sentence you gave 3 reason why you do not want another child. Why would you even think of having one? It's obvious you do not want any more. Enjoy the 2 children you have and leave it at that.

We just had our third, crazy, we were not thinking of three but wouldn't change it for the world!! She is the light of our life, we are really enjoying her more as a baby then the other two (honestly) we are so much more relaxed about everything I am so glad we are finishing with three.

WHY do you want another child? Is it possibly from boredom and too much time on your hands, now that the little one is in school (so what happens when the 3rd goes to school, more boredom!). Or do you, like my Mom, just like a baby in the house? That is a very bad reason to have another. I won't even go there! It sounds to me like you might be better off rechanneling your time and excess energies toward something else that is fulfilling, and that might perhaps bring in a little money for extras for the children you already have. This would probably make you feel better all around, and would help your family with small expenses. It doesn't have to be a fulltime job. I worked as an aide a my daughter's school and earned about $3,000 a year. And sometimes I worked part-time at a local daycare. You probably just need an outlet and the cash would be nice, too, given that you said you don't have a lot of money for the family and live in a small place. You might also consider going to college part-time now, in order to later get a higher paying job when the kids need you less, but at the same time that they will be reaching college age, with its added expenses. As for me, all during my child's growing up, I went to college and finally got my degree after age 50. My sister-in-law raised three children and got her degree at age 38 and later helped put her children through college as a part-time teacher. During the time she was going to college, she also sewed almost all their clothes, baked a lot, taught Sunday School and studied while ironing! With your already having a son and a daughter, i.e., the "perfect family", and your stated financial situation, in my opinion you probably should not have a third child.

Well I am one of three. I always wanted to have three kids myself. After I had my third child my house felt complete to me. We have two boys and one girl. boy 10 1/2yrs, boy 6 1/2yr, girl 4 yr

It took us forever to have a baby... finally after 3 years we got pregnant with our first, then 7 years to have another one. I was told not to get pregnant again, becuase my husband and I have a platelet incompatibility and it destroys the baby's platelets. BUT we got preganant again and went through tons of interventions and she was born healthy.... she was the best thing that could have happened to our family... its truly a decison from the heart... do what you think is right!