Having a Fourth Baby After 40 - Chicago,IL

Updated on February 20, 2015
R.S. asks from Chicago, IL
11 answers

We always talked about four children. We got married in our early 30's and have been blessed with three healthy children. I gave birth at ages 35, 37, and 39. Once I stopped nursing during the night with the first two, my periods resumed and I was able to get pregnant within three months of resuming my cycle. My pregnancies were fairly smooth...my first two deliveries were tough (first a c-section, second a very traumatic VBAC), and this last one was a breeze. Our youngest just turned 1. I am nursing him just a couple times during the day but haven't resumed my period because he is a terrible sleeper at night and the easiest thing for me has been to just nurse him. That is, however, going to change soon since the interrupted sleep is not healthy for me or the baby, and also because I am eager to begin ovulating again, so we can try to conceive. I will turn 41 in the spring. It hasn't been the easiest year, but in a few months time I think I will be ready to try for our fourth. I would love to hear from others who also had their final baby around this age.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

One of my friends had her first at 39 and her second at 41, and a lot of my 10 year old son's friends' mothers are already age 50 or older, so they had kids in their 40's. My nana had her last (of 7) at 43, and her sister was around that age when she had her last.

Sounds like you've been blessed with fertility - best wishes!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

I was 41 when my son was born. He is now 3. He was not planned and is #5. We did have a scare at first but he is a very healthy extremely active 3 yr old. I also nursed him and he was very hard to get to stop. Right now we are trying to get him to go potty all the time, not just when we tell him to.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Several of my friends had their FIRST at 40! My best friend had her youngest at age 43. My friend is a healthy spritely type who could pass for much younger, has high energy...she's not different from the other moms at the school etc. She lives in NYC where lots of people have kids after careers are secure. Her pregnancy was perfect. My dad's mom had him at age 42 in 1945!

I had my three at 35, 37 and 39. If my third pregnancy wasn't so physically traumatic and I wasn't divorced I would have had another! Congrats on nice big family!

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N.R.

answers from Chicago on

I had my first and only at 42. Pregnant at 41. It was a fantastic, easy pregnancy and delivery and has been the best thing ever. She's in elementary school now and while I sometimes feel a bit old around moms in their 20s and 30s, it's fine. I look a lot younger and really, once you're all adults and moms, there's a lot more common ground than not. You having your last in your early 40s is really normal. Someone told me the average age for a last baby for the last century or so is 43. So you're in good company! My only concern is my husband and I getting older and not being around later into her life. In your case, your child will have 3 siblings to ease any of those later life transitions. Go for it and best of luck to you!

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I had my first baby at age 23 (first marriage) and my second at age 32 and my last age 34. I cannot ever fathom having a baby after 40. I will be 41 this year and just the thought of being PG makes my body ache. My last two PG's were pretty stressful. My second was born special needs and we got her diagnosis when she was 6 months old. She had A LOT of health problems that we later found out why at her diagnosis. My DH and i were tested to make sure we didn't pass the genetic mutation onto my DD, we didn't so we opted for another baby (my DH wanted to try for a boy). My OBGYN suggested an amnio but i declined. He then wanted to do a quad screening since i had already had a SN child before, i didn't want too but after discussing it further i went ahead and agreed. That was a big mistake! My test came back that my son was going to be born with DS. I had to wait three freaking weeks to see another specialist just to find out the stupid doctors office got my due date wrong! Long story short, everything was fine, my son was a whopping 10#'s with 0 health issues. I think of all the stress that i am going through with my SN child and i cannot fathom another baby. I have my hands full and i will until the day i depart this earth! Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I've thought about it. I feel bittersweet about my child-bearing years being over with. I will be 40 this August. My kids are 12, 9, 5. For me, I feel it's too late. I am so far removed from the baby phase. Next year, I will have all 3 in school all day, and will be able to possibly get a part time job while they're at school. We're so busy with sports and activities, and a newborn/infant would probably put us in the funny farm. My husband is definitely done, so that settles it anyway.

You, however, are still in the trenches so to speak. Your kids are still very young, so another would fit in very well. If you and your husband both want another baby, you should definitely go for it!

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

One of my best friends had hers at 45. He just turned 6. She had a great pregnancy, no problems at all.

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T.Y.

answers from Boston on

I had my 4th at 41. Four easy pregnancies. Four C-sections. I had my others at 31, 37 and 39. I find my youngest child (who is 3 now) is the easiest. She learns by watching her older siblings. She always has someone to play with. I have grown to be a very calm confident parent., simply through experience. I say, "Go for it!" and savor every moment of the experience - one thing I have learned is how quickly time passes with little ones.

T. Y

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B.E.

answers from New York on

I had my one and only when I was nearly 41. The pregnancy was fine and I worked full time right up to the delivery date. The only medical issue I encountered was coming down with a very rare condition (cholestasis) right near the end and having to be induced, which predictably ended in a c-section.

For the most part I enjoy being an older mom. My energy is still high and it keeps me feeling young (though not in the beginning when I was so sleep-deprived!). Most moms I know from school are close to my age.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I had my third at 41. She will be 2 tomorrow. Sigh.

I would have three more if I was younger. But we decided to stop, and both of us would have three more, btw!

that baby at 41 was much harder than that baby at 39. The sleep thing is a killer, and then you have another person making demands. It can be a bit much if you are tired. I don't even know if I could handle two less than three years apart again. I was so happy my son was 3 when baby came along. He could get himself in his car seat, straps and all. He didn't need me as much, and it made things so much easier to just focus on baby. With the first two, they were so close in age it was hard.

Lots of women do it. I decided for my overall well-being, it was time to stop-and I am a very young almost 43 years old! Toddlers are exhausting. To be 41, pregnant, and chasing a toddler? It will be hard, but with the right self-care practice, possible. But you will need a lot more self-care, and you'll need to make it a priority.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I don't think there is any reason to worry. You seem healthy and want another child. I'd say go for it and don't look back.

Many people have kids in their 40's and some even do it into their 50's.

With today's medical knowledge there isn't any reason to hold back unless there are health problems that pregnancy would aggravate.

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