Having Two Kids Close in Age...

I just typed this response to you and I guess that it had logged me off in the middle of it. So now my wonderful response is gone....but if you would like to talk to me feel free to email me at ____@____.com or call me: ###-###-#### would enjoy talking to you.

You will be amazed at the things you can do having two children so close in age.

J. C.

My first 2 are 16 months apart. They didn't share a bedroom, so I can't offer advice there... Naptime was often a struggle in general, hoping they would sleep at the same time so I could have a moment of peace or a nap for myself. I pretty much gave up on that, cherished the one-on-one time with each as the other slept, and relied on my husband, mom, and friends to watch the kids while I napped occasionally to keep my sanity! Tons of people told me it would get easier after the first year, and it's true. It's so hard to do everything one handed for the toddler while holding the baby. Get a really comfortable sling! Also, when I nursed, I first made sure the toddler had the basics- full sippy cup, snack, something to do-- he would often hang out and nibble on my shoulder as I nursed-- eventually he would get bored and go play.

Hi D., congratulations! Mine are 18 months apart. It was a hectic first couple of years, but it does get easier, and I think even easier than if they were further apart. Right now my 5 and 6-1/2 year old are in the other room reading stories and playing together! In the beginning, I kept the newbon in my room until she was 8 weeks old and sleeping through the night. Then I had 2 cribs in one room. It worked great. I was strict with their schedules. Hang in there through the crazy times. I promise it is worth it!

I am a mom and have 5 grown kids,
My Hair after each one looked like sh.
it gets better just use a good conditioner , dont condition to much you dont want your hair too soft.If i can do any more help let me know , ____@____.com

Hi D.,
I have a boy and a girl, which are 21 months apart. I had my tubes tied after my daughter was born, 2 was enough for me. I was a bit worried when I got pregnant so soon after my son, but it has turned out to be GREAT ! When I was done with diapers, I was done! Now they are 11 & 13. They argue about little things-- you ate the last bagel, etc, but they are BEST friends.. It's a little more work when they are really little, but -- I think, the benefits out weigh the trouble.
-- M.

Mine are 17 months apart. I think every child is different. My first one was a great sleeper until the second came. That changed for us. However, there was not jealous issues (too young). I did feel like I had 2 babies and there were some really tough stages in the beginning. Now at 3 and 4 things are really great. They are playmates (although they fight). Hang in there - there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Try and get them on the same schedule - that helped.

So far I like the advice you have been givin. I too have been worried about the same thing. Even though I am having my 4th, the oldest is now 19and the next is 10 and now I have my 17month old girl. They are 9 years apart and have been like an only child. When I found out I was pregnant and he wasnt going any where(I am prone to miscarriages) I cried. Well now I am due in 2 weeks and still even at my age and experience I am still scared. I am a wonderful mother and ENJOY my kids. Im sure all will be just fine. I have been working so hard on my own life that I feel that they will give me the strength I will need to continue in the right direction.
Well I now live on the westside of jax.(YUCK) but have pretty much always resided in the beaches area so Im out here at least once a week. So if ya just want to say hisend me a message. I really dont talk to many people the kids and man keep me pretty busy. But I would like some friends that have kids the same ages as my little ones because I feel that their play time might be my relax time. LOTS OF LUCK!

I got pregnant with my 4th when my 3 was 8 months. They were together from the start. They got used to each other. There were some hairy days and nights, but I have found that my 3 and 4 can sleep through anything now, while 1 and 2 need absolute quiet. I just timed naps together. Also get a sound machine and get your seven mnth old used to it. It will mask little sounds, so that when he falls asleep before 2, yo won't disturb him putting 2 in 2's crib. It also helps cover that baby talknoise they all make. I even nursed 4 in the room and put him back down to sleep . They are the best of friends (6 and 4 now). Here's something else I did. the big brother got to hold the baby whenver he wanted. It was his baby. I have had very little sibling rivalry. I even would pop the baby off my nipple and get the older one whatever he wanted. By the time the baby realized he wasn't eating, I had gotten the other one what he wanted and was sitting back down to nurse. Baby got a nipple back and big brother felt like Ipaid attention to him as well. Hope this helps.

I also have two children close in age, 13 months apart. When my son was first born, he slept in a bassinet in our room for the first three months and didn't start on the same bedtime as his sister until about five months. We continued putting my daughter to sleep at her usual bedtime and everything was fine. They were in separate rooms until he was about six months old. At that point they were in the same room. At first, they slept great together in the same room, but after a while they began to play with each other, laughing, and babbling, and even a couple times ending up in the crib together, however, it was never a huge issue. As with any routine, they will get used to it, even with the little one waking up in the night. Good luck

My first 3 were close in age (born 1986, 1987 and 1990). Between co-sleeping and breastfeeding..there were no real issues.

I have two children 18 months apart. They are now 23 (a girl) and 21 (a boy) and have been best friends their entire lives. Because my older one never remembered a time that her brother wasn't around, we really didn't have any jealousy issues. I didn't hover over him (the way you tend to do with the first one) so he grew up to be pretty easy-going. I wasn't able to jump to his attention the minute he cried or complained, so he learned to settle himself down naturally. He was an amazing sleeper so I didn't have much loss of sleep myself. I think he was a calmer baby because we PARENTS were more confident and therefore more relaxed. And you're already in "diaper mode" so that part of your life won't change. Because they spent so much time together growing up, I think they drew the best qualities from each other. My son treats girls as "equals" (like no macho stuff) and developed a nice personality, with many friends who are girls. My daughter doesn't take any nonsense from a guy just because he's a guy. And she can talk sports with anybody. You will guide them, but they will help each other, too. Enjoy them, they grow fast!

D.,

I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old. They are 22 months apart. The sleep deprivation is tough when you have to get up early with a toddler but hopefully it does get better. If possible elicit help from your significant other or anyone else willing to help! I was told not to put the newborn in with the other child as it will disturb the older child's sleep (as it will yours). My advice is to hang in there - it will get easier and to accept as much help as you can get.

There is a group called the Moms club where you can meet other moms with kids in the same age group. They have a website and I believe they charge a small fee ($20.00 or so).

Best of Luck,

R.

Hi D.. I got pregnant and my son was only 13 months old. him and my daughter, newborn are 20 months apart. we all share the same room since I'm living with family, my son wakes up everytime my daughter wakes up. she crys softly but its loud enough he heres it. And since having my daughter I get less to no sleep. with my son waking up do to the baby crying trying to get him back to sleep is hard. if my son was in a different room then maybe it might be easyer on us all here. But other then the sleep problems I love having my children close in age. means once they get older I can still be active with them. Having my kids close wasn't what I wanted, it just happened but I woudn't give it up, not even for 4 hours stright of sleep! its the best!

My last two are 15 months apart. My advice:
-Do not make the big one be quiet while the litle one is sleeping. This will encourage the baby to learn to sleep through noise. If you want them to share a room, they might disturb each other at first, but they will learn to sleep through each other's noises, and that's a good thing!
-It's rough taking care of a toddler on no sleep at first, but in a few weeks, the baby and toddler can be put on (sorta) the same schedule. Make sure you get thier naps synchronized (which can be done). That way you can nap during the day.
-Don't be afraid to relinquesh some of the toddler's care to dad (or someone else). HUGE lifesaver!!
-It's okay if one or the other of them has to cry for a few minutes while you tend to the other (assuming their not in danger, of course). This has the benifit of teaching kids early that thw world doesn't revolve around them.
-It's really not as hard as it seems like it will be. You'll be suprised how quick it passes! ~C.

All I have to say is, "You can do it." My babies are all grown up but there ages are 7, 6, 4, and 2. Believe it or not at one point I had two in diapers and one in pull-ups. Yes, it will be round the clock care, but I'm sure you'll find a way to get through it. We're mothers, that's what we do. Another thing I will add is treasure these moments because they do fly by fast.
R. S

Hi D.!
It is not as bad as it sounds!! I have two boys 11 1/2 months apart, they are now 22 months and 10 months. When the baby was born he was sleeping in the basinet in my room for about 3 months and my oldest at first wanted to sleep in my room too. I started putting the baby in the crib to sleep while my oldest was taking a nap, when the baby would cry my oldest would wake up, now they are used to each other and when one cries it doesn't bother the other. You have to get them used to each other and on the same schedule. It worked for me! I was raising my 15 month old nephew with my two little ones and I had all 3 of them on the same schedule, eat, bath and sleep at the same time. The sound of silence is beautiful! Good luck!
L.

Hi D.,

My sons are 13 months apart and having two under two is a challenge. People say "oh they'll be just like twins!!", and that may be true once you get past a certain age but now (they're 3 months and 16 months) situations like ours are their own special thing. There are always posts on parent center, and there is a website called two under two, although they don't seem to be operating too much these days. The point is, get help from other moms because those with one child or kids 2+ years apart will not understand what you're going through. On the plus side, you probably still have all your baby stuff (and maybe maternity clothes?) and once your eldest is out of his car seat, clothes, etc., you can save everything for your youngest. Also, both your kids will be done with diapers, bottles, etc., more quickly than other families.

As far as sleep goes, we are very lucky and both our sons started sleeping through the night VERY young (6-8 weeks) and they both took to their cribs well. When my youngest was born, we put him in our room in a bassinette so that he didn't wake up our oldest. Once we felt pretty confident that our youngest wouldn't wake up and cry in the middle of the night (about 2 mo 3 weeks) we put him in his crib in his room with his brother. They are doing fine with this. I always feel guilty that I don't have the time for our oldest that I used to, and that's probably the worst part of thiis. This might be something every parent experiences though, regardless of how far apart the kids are in age. My oldest is sometimes sweet with the baby (trying to give him his pacifier, giving him kisses, etc.) and other times a typical toddler (smacking him in the face, stealing his pacifier, etc.) For the most part, our family has adjusted just fine, as I think people tend to do...

The bottom line is you will be fine!! I know when we found out we were pregnant again, I cried... not because we didn't want the baby, but because we didn't necessarily plan on having them so close! I have a very supportive husband, but no family in the area. My mom did come down when our youngest was born and watched our toddler. You will definitely need some help right out of the hospital, so plan on getting that! My husband and I have managed pretty well... I am a graduate student and teaching assistant, he works full time and just finished his degree in December (two weeks after our youngest was born!!), and we've spent a good bit of time fixing up the home we just bought in October. So, get yourself some support from other moms, and what you can from family and friends and you'll be fine. You can always send a personal email to me, if you have any questions you think I can answer. Good luck!

HI D.,
I typed this really LONG and DETAILED response, but I don't think it went through. Anyways I have a 8 year old boy and a 6 and a half year-old girl. They are about 19 months apart. It was really rough because my son was not a sleeper. He didn't sleep through most of the night until a month or so before she arrived! Since I chose to nurse them, having them in our room during the first year was an easy decision for us. Although I think I wouldn't have put her in his room only because he had finally satarted sleeping through the night. I had been sleep-deprived for the last 18 months!! So I would probably see what kind of sleeper your new baby will be before making that decision. You will have days when you wonder about your sanity, but you'll get through those as well as sleepless nights! The rewards are just priceless and awesome: My two are best friends and have been since she came home from the hospital. Also, look for moms' groups in your area. You can start with MOPS (mothers of preschoolers, a faith-based group out of Colorado: http://www.mops.org/ It was an awesome resource/support system for me. I met other moms in similar situations, and all walks & stages of life-- they had so much for me to learn! GOOD LUCK to YOU! Feel free to email me personally if you have questions or want to just talk-- sometimes that was all I needed to get through my days! K.

My kids are right at 16mo apart also and it's great, really. My daughter is almost 3yrs old and my son is 18mo old. I was a little scared at the thought of it but alot of women told me I'd be glad I had them close together and they were right. They play together so well, it's really cute to watch. As far as sleeping goes, I didn't notice much difference. Do you really sleep much with kids anyway? I never tried putting them to sleep together because my daughter is such a light sleeper. It also helps to have a supportive husband or family to help out! Congratulations!

I have the same thing going on. My oldest is now 16 months and my youngest 7 months. They are only 9 months apart, my youngest is a 32 week preemie, would have been 11 months and 23 days. It is what I would imagine to have twins that wear different sizes. At night when Maebea, the oldest, is asleep and Raivyn wakes up she doesnt seem to care. But sometimes when Maebea wakes up it seems like she is trying to be load enough to wake up Raivyn. As far as you loosing sleep, mainly until they sleep through the night. You will still manage to have enough energy to keep up with your toddler. I would suggest a tandem stroller and not to do any major shopping by yourself. Good luck just take it one day and diaper at a time.

Have you ever considered cosleeping or getting a cosleeper to attach to the side of your bed. It's wonderful if you are planning to breastfeed and then you can decide when it's best to put the kids together. I have 2 that were very close in age 13 months and I coslept with the baby until she was about 3 months old. I could then put her down to sleep in her crib and within ten minutes she would be asleep. I don't know if I would put them in the same room though, just because you don't know what the toddler can do.

I had a three year old, my 1 year old and the new baby all at once. It really wasn't too bad. Just be sure to give Ryan extra hugs and snuggles and let him try to help you with the baby. Nap when they nap and enjoy them! That's the best advice I can give. It seems that they grow up so fast. Mine are now 7,5,4 and I threw in a 2 year old. Seems like yesterday I only had one!

Good luck mama! Take care of yourself. :)

I think the biggest challenge may be during your pregnancy as far as maybe feeling tired and still having to care for your son. It will be a busier pace for you after the new arrival and your son may go through some adjustments but you will work your way through that. The new baby shouldn't interfere with his routine or naps. You can keep him on the same exact schedule. As far as the sleep (or lack of?!) maybe you'll get lucky and the new baby will be a good sleeper...and you can nap when they do. Once you have more than one small child you have to prioritize and do what you can. Best wishes!

Hey... I know how you feel. I'm pregnant now (due June 14, 08) and have a 16 mth old son. (When the baby comes he will be 18mths.)Getting sleep is hard. What I do is take a nap whenever my son does… Oh does that helps a lot. Also I learned to keep him on a strict schedule, even at 7 mths. I made sure he went to bed at bedtime and didn’t take a long nap during the day. And wake him up if he sleeps to long at nap time. My son sleeps in his own room (since he was 5 1/2 mths old). I suggest if you have the room for the kids to have there own room let them sleep in there own rooms. It’s taking a change with letting a little baby and a toddler sleep in the same room you risk the change of waking up one or the other.. My plan is to keep my kids separate and when they get older if they want to share a room I will let them…or if it not a girl, since I don’t know what I’m having yet.

Encouragement- just keep your head up you can make it just think when they get older they well be going to school around the same time and college around the same time and… you will have real break… you might even be sad that they are not with you…all day…

PS.. I new to Pensacola, FL…I’m looking to meet new people with kids, also.

D.,
I have three boys a three year old, two year old, and a 3 mth old. The older two are 13 months apart. I couldn't be happier that we had them close. They are so close and play together. They also fight, but that's siblings for you. Isaac was fine after Noah was born it didn't bother his routine. I think he was too young to care much or be jealous. Just be sure to include the older one as much as possible let him hold the baby or help burp that seemed to make Isaac think he was needed. I'm sure everything will be fine!!! Have fun!
God Bless,
R.

I have 2 boys that are 15 months apart. They are now 25 months and 10 months. They share the same room, and have since my younger one moved out of his bassinet in my room around 5 months of age. While it may not be ideal, it is a fine arrangement. It only took a short while for each boy to be able to drown out the other's babbling, talking, or crying. They are starting to interact more now as well, and it is just delightful. I've been told that it is tough the first 3 years with ones so close in age, but once they are both out of diapers (my oldest is just about potty trained, thank God!) and able to move around on their own, it is a great situation. They already are great friends, with my older one always saying things like "Don't cry brother" or "Where's Seth?" He is very compassionate.

I think it is a great thing that your eldest will have a playmate so close in age!

I have a 2 1/2 year old son and a 14 mo old daughter and they are are 18 months apart. We placed out newborn in our room only becasue her brother would not allow her to sleep in peace. He thought she was a doll and always wanted to poke at her which would wake her up. My husband and I took turns waking up at night with our daughter so we could at least 4 hours per night to sleep. I will encourage you to enlist the help of those persons who are willing. Write down things that you know you will need help with and when people ask to help you just let them know the things or things you would like their specific help with. Most of all enjoy being a mommy to both of your kids. They grow up so fast. Don't be too hard on yourself for things you may not get done. Eventually you will learn the pattern of your new baby and it will all work itself out. Congratulations and good luck!

I just wanted to jump in, not to be negative nelly, but mine are 20 months apart with my youngest just 5 months - it is not easy. I just want to say that, because I too asked for advise and everyone made it seem so easy that when I had her, I kept thinking to myself "why is it soo hard, is it just me?"! You wont get any sleep for about the first 4 months (at least I havent) and its really hard if your going to try and breastfeed as the older one will want your time - I guess for me it was so hard because I spent sooo much time with my son, and after I had my daughter, I couldnt do that much with him that I was used to doing... Also, they do share a room, but I put a co-sleeper in my room and she sleeps with me and my son sleeps in his room, at first he was waking up everytime she did and it was a nightmare. But they do take thier afternoon naps together from like noon to 1:30ish. It definately has gotten better though, so I wish you the best, and as everyone says, it does get better - thats almost my mantra !!