Hi everyone. My youngest has always had issues. He suffered from pretty bad reflux until recently. We finally got him off of Prilosec a week or so ago. We also just found out that he's lactose intolerant.
So my problem is that he does not sleep through the night. He's totally attached to bottles and it's one of the only ways we get him back to sleep at night. The only reason why he still has a bottle is because he had weight gain issues and we kept it as a way to get things in.
Because of these issues, we've never been able to let him cry it out. He was always in pain before. I hate to say it, but I think we've created bad sleep habits. No, I know we have. I just don't know how to undo them. I tried CIO but he seriously freaks out! And he can last for hours! I mean hours!
We do have a bedtime routine. He's always had one. He naps in the afternoon and I take him and my oldest out to the park at least once a day, if not twice.
His weight issue has passed and everything seems good, minus recovering from an ear infection. So how do I get him to sleep?! Btw, he's in a big boy bed already becaues of climbing/safety issues. And he had this issue in his crib too.
HI there,
I have a great on-line book I can forward to you. Email me at ____@____.com and I will send it to you (and anyone else who might need it) It's a wonderful book and really helped me see what I was doing wrong.
I hope to hear from you soon!
M.
Try "The Baby Whisperer Answers All your questions". She teaches a loving, consistent response to waking and no ignoring your child's needs. I don't know how anyone could listen to their child scream for hours:( It's not good for them, it raises their blood pressure and can affect their brain (check Dr. Sears's website for that study).
Get a good daily routine along with a sleep routine and respond compassionately to his needs, but for no more time than it takes to settle him then leave. He just needs to learn that, while you're there if he needs you, he doesn't need you as much he thinks he does.
Not to be contradictory to the other answer to your question but I am a behaviorist and although you may not believe in the CIO methind, there will have to be some of that in place to really break the habits of a child who will not stay in their bed or who has poor sleep habits. It doesn't matter how the habits were formed, it is going to be a beast to break them. It just happens to be one of the more stubborn and prolonged habits that kids have trouble modifying. Plus, you actually have two habits in one here.....being put to bed with a bottle and then having poor sleep habits and waking. My suggestion is from Dr. Marc Weissbluth who wrote the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. THIS WORKS. I am not a fan or a huge advocate of Dr. Sears. I think he means well but I think his methods taks far too long to work and parents give up by then and I also feel that some of the medical issues he states happen to a child going through behavior modification are just simply ridiculous. Kids cry. They also whine, tantrum, scream, and throw things. It doesn't mean they are going to be ill or get ill from doing these things. However, let a child get sleep deprived or continue poor sleep habits long enough and a whole world of physical and emotional problems will develop quickly. This much I know. See if you can find the book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and the minute you identify with the many stories from numerous parents going through what you are going through....you will have confidence and faith to use his method and have results. I did. I have 2 teenage daughters who are peaceful sleepers and some of the happiest young ladies you could ever want to meet. And they've been this way since 6 month old. Thanks to Dr. Weissbluth and his techniques for teaching parents that a tired child is NOT a HAPPY child!
Hi there. :) My doctor told me no more bottle after 1 (when I took them off of formula) because of what it does to their teeth. Sleep habits now will be MUCh harder to break because of his age but he can be trained to go to sleep (on his own) and sleep well. It's never too late and you wanting to address what is going on is so great for your child. My recommendation is to contact Davis at www.3daysleepsolutions.com She can have your child sleeping SO WELL in 3 days. I consulted w/her and it was the best $$$ I ever spent. They still need a lot of sleep at this age. She is great and if anything, she can give you a great, daily routine to work with.
BTW - I did CIO and people ask me all the time why my babies are SO happy (it's because they sleep!). :) Also, CIO never lasts for days and days (from what I have seen)....it takes 3 days for any baby/child to adapt to a 'new' schedule or routine so yes, it does take a little time. But not that long.
Good luck to you! :)
try getting him to nap earlier (may mean waking him up earlier in the morning), cut it shorter or even see how he does without it so that he is more ready for sleep.
but for some kids, the bedtime process just takes long. My older kids are a piece of cake, but we (usually my husband) spends an hour putting my 2 year old back in his bed every night - it's just how long it takes for him to get throught his going-to-sleep process. UNLESS he gets no nap, then it's pretty easy.
i'm sure that 'no nap' is the last thing that you want to hear, but it may be worth a shot....
I never did CIO... Oh, that's not true. There was the time I took my time responding, only to find that her arm was in between the crib slats and she couldn't get out... And the time she was vomitting in her crib from stomach virus. After that, I couldn't do CIO. Crying was the only way she could tell me that she needed me; it was my responsibilty to be responsive.
I rocked my daughter. I'd put her on a pillow on my lap and rocked/sang to her until she fell asleep, then put her into her crib. I think it helped give her a sense of security, and maybe that helped her feel less anxious and more restful while sleeping. My own moto was "Hungry children will not sleep." I never put a bottle in her bed. She did have a pacifier though. If she woke up hungry, then I'd give her 4 oz bottle, keep the lights off, no talking or stimulus, and rock her back to sleep.
At 18 months i was rocking my tots to sleep, and because they fell asleep being nurtured and secure they sleep very peacefully. My kids are grown now but in my day the was no such thing as CIO, the behavorist probably got her knowlledge from a text book not from actually being a mom. You have sent bad habits but for understandable reasons, but now you have to break those habits, i don't believe in putting a baby to bed with bottles to put them to sleep, and I been a mom for 26 years, and a daycare provider for 13, I always nurture my little ones to sleep. and out of 3 children of my own, there has been no sleep issues. J.
have you tried sitting in his room with him while he's falling asleep? i'm all for teaching a child to fall asleep on their own, but sometimes when we put little ones to bed and walk out of the room, we miss things that can be realized if we stay a little while. for example when my youngest was tiny she kept waking soon after being laid down in her crib. at first i thought she just wanted to be held. when i stayed in the room a while i discovered that she was waking up choking. we got her on prevacid and elevated her head a little and she slept so much better. an 18 month old can answer questions like "is there something scary in your room?" "do you hear a noise?" (then identify noises for him) "do you feel too hot? too cold?" "are you cozy?" some of his wakings could be easily fixed by identifying what makes him uncomfortable. my oldest is like me and cannot sleep if hungry. he woke up for a bottle/cup of milk every night until he was 2 1/2. it was frustrating, but that's what it took to get him to sleep. he's 6 now but if he doesn't have a sufficient snack before bed he takes longer to fall asleep. my second son would rather sleep than eat. if he wakes in the night it just takes some music to get him to sleep. you'll figure it out! we did CIO with our first baby and i regret it. but at the time i was exasperated and didn't know what else to do. i thought he was just being stubborn. we eventually got it right. :)
Thats great he has a routine....He needs to know bedtime is coming.
This is what I do. 6pm Dinner, little play time or walk, reading books, 7:30pm bath time, milk and 2 books, 8pm put my girl in bed, sing her a song kiss and go to sleep. Its been easy becasue we have done this for 2 years now ( she is 3 years old). As long as they have a routine and you keep practicing the same routine at the same time everyday they will get used to it. It may take a day or 3 but it will be worth it. I hope this helps.
Give him a bottle with water in it.
My son, was real attached to his bottles, that is what I did once he was a certain age.
AND, I would find that my son just liked having the bottle, even if it was empty... he just wanted to 'twiddle' the nipple of it and hold the bottle.... and it soothed him. It is an "instinctual" soothing reflex.
Or give your son a "lovey" if he does not have one. Something to cuddle as he sleeps. My son, had that too. Still does.
all the best,
Susan
